APOLOGIES OF PARADISE \ cinderfrost

Jul 27, 2022
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There were murmurings of a star-woven force, separate to the destiny that he had believed in for so long... or perhaps, one and the same. For moons he had been searching for his truth, the voice that had called him to ThunderClan's territory, and these rumours he had heard of translucent cats glowing with moonlight seemed like he might finally have befallen his answer. And, aside from Emberstar- who he wished not to pester too much- there was another who knew these cats well, from what he had gathered. So to her den did he head.

"Ahem," Truffle cleared his throat, peering through the dark to find the figure of the so-called 'medicine cat'. He had seen her only a few times, but knew her face well enough- gaunt, and not particularly kind. Perhaps she had been aged by experience, as well as the passing moons. Still, he spoke not his judgement- if she had a connection to these star-cats, he rationalised she must be good of heart. "Cinderfrost? May I... ask you about this... StarClan?" Upon his tusk-toothed maw sat a pleasant smile, hopeful for a positive response.

/ @cinderfrost !
( PENNED BY PIN )
 
Cinderfrost. At first, the molly didn't respond. Blank eyes, lacking any recognition behind them, faced Truffle before... Ah, right. That was the name blessed upon her by Hare Whiskers. A name she didn't deserve nor earn. How could she claim to be "Cinderfrost, medicine cat of Thunderclan," after everything she'd done?

"Ah, sorry. I suppose I was lost in thought. Do, uh, do come further in.. if you'd like." Only Roe and Emberstar ever visited the molly. It was a shock to know that someone wanted to speak to her. Thankfully, a practiced poker face hid the anxiety gnawing at her beating heart. Especially when she recalled how she looked right now: knotted fur clinging to the skin and bones of a disgruntled outcast.

Though she tried to hide it, surprise leaked into her voice, "You, you wish to ask me about StarClan?" Why her? Emberstar would have been just as good, if not better, to have this discussion with. Had this newcomer somehow avoided the rumors of her "bloodthirsty malice"?

Despite being nervous, afraid she'd do something wrong, she was also.. excited at the prospect of speaking with someone. It'd been so long since she'd had a civilized conversation with another. Ever since she'd left the marshes, she'd been left alone with self-sabotaging thoughts. "I'd be happy to oblige but why me and not Emberstar?" As much as she desperately wished for him to stay, she found herself pushing back. Giving him another option to run away screaming from the monster that lurked in the shadows.

"If you're okay with me, though, what would you like to know?"
 

He would truly be a fool to miss the incredulous ring to her tone, as if she was not expecting such a question. But was she not star-chosen, as they said? A cheery grin decorated his maw still, eyes alight with golden interest. He took her invitation, cinnamon paws carrying him further into the mouth of the den. A lanky body settled, long tail curling around his paws. Her dishevelled look sent a spear of painful pity into his heart; another, perhaps, that the world had harmed and left alive to feel the agony. But Cinderfrost had found her destiny here in ThunderClan, much as he had been lead here- though he had no destiny to speak of. Warm envy held him tight, a need for his beliefs to be satiated setting the kindling of loss alight in his chest.

"Yes, if you are willing." Pleasant lightness still crackled about his tone, smile comfortable and genuine and tone softened by the delicacy of her state. Was she not caring for herself? Oh, he knew that pain could kill, or feel as if it was killing. Was it loss that had lead her to look like this? To be surprised when someone approached? "Oh, I have already been pestering Emberstar enough with learning your... Clan life. And besides... I heard you were called here by the stars. See, I believe I was called here too."

There was likeness between them, if what he had heard was fact. And it was first of all this calling that he wished to learn about.
( PENNED BY PIN )
 
Right. Of course. Her thoughts were nothing but delusions. The tom had already approached Emberstar on multiple occasions and only sought her out when he believed he'd worn out his welcome. Truthfully, it made much more sense than her original line of thinking. Because why would anyone come to visit her unless they had no other option?

"Of course." Though it stung to be the second choice - losing again to Emberstar - she wouldn't turn him away. Elders were to be respected. And.. and he looked a lot like her father. Physically different yet something in the way he carried his grizzled self felt familiar.

Instinctively, her head tilted to the side in inquisitive thought when Truffle admitted that he, too, felt summoned by the stars. Perhaps StarClan had given up on her: tossed her aside in favor of another. Unfortunately, that was nothing new.

"They speak in a cryptic manner. Most of my encounters with them were more symbolic than anything direct." Her head ached when she thought back to her brief time as a loner. Back then, they refused to let her sleep that she thought herself haunted. "Each time I closed my eyes to sleep, I saw the forest accompanied by bone-rattling thunder and the warmth of a small, crackling fire." Embers went unspoken but implied by her tone.

In retrospect, the messages were clear as day. "Eventually, my dreams lead me to the moonstone. I thought I had lost any remaining sanity when I followed the hare from my dreams, tracing its steps in real life." she dryly chuckled. No, those remnants of sanity would be claimed when she woke next to the cream-point.

"The moonstone.." It had been a gorgeous sight, feelings of safety and warmth engraving the marvel into her heart. "It allowed me to speak directly to the dead." It had all felt so real, as if her soul had been transported to StarClan itself.

Teal eyes looked thoughtfully at Truffle. The stars had realized she needed an extra push when it came to signs that should be obvious so maybe... "Perhaps you are my replacement." She could guide him to the moonstone where it'd be determined if her statement was true or false. Recalling how disappointed Ash looked that night, though, enforced the idea that Truffle was the true medicine cat of ThunderClan.

He'd surely be better suited than an insane murderer who took justice into her own paws.​
 
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Truffle caught not the mild flicker of her disappointment, for that was not what his enthralled mind wished to focus on- no, it was her wards that enraptured him, flittering golden eyes alight with sun-bright interest. The cinnamon tom settled as she began her recount, talking of cryptic messages sent to earth and dreams that held mystical messages within them. Not that he was trying, but he did a poor job of hiding just how utterly enraptured he was, neck craning gradually forward by the second. Just imagining the dream she described- of great, powerful thunder and friendly fire- it seemed life-changing.

And then- "the moonstone". Having heard not of such a place, Truffle clung to every word she used to describe it- a place to commune with those lost, the dead and buried. Up there, in StarClan... did his family dwell? Surely not, if they were a Clan like all the others, but... hope swelled in his chest at the thought, that perhaps StarClan had been what had lead him down the path that ended in ThunderClan.

"Wow..." he murmured when she had finally finished, eyes drifting upward, worked up into a whirlwind of hope and meaning. Still, her last statement... it brought a small, hoarse chuckle from his throat. "That all sounds... wonderful. I have often felt as if my dreams speak to me- and it was a squirrel that I felt lead me here. Yet- I do not believe I was sent here to replace you. I will know, I think, when what I was truly sent here for is presented to me." Healing- he knew little about healing, only of binding wounds until they scabbed over. He would be no good as a medicine cats replacement- his memory was no longer good enough.

"Why would you suggest someone replace you- you have found your destiny, and that- that is the most wonderful thing a cat could ever find!" His tone, though still light and humorous and brimming with hope, seemed fringed with an incredulous nature. Did she not accept her destiny?

( PENNED BY PIN )
 
His energy was infectious. She intently listened to his tale. "I hope you find your purpose, then. If you ever need assistance in achieving it, let me know."

"Is being a medicine cat my true destiny?" she mused. Although, given Harewhiskers speech, her fate seemed predestined. But what if she simply wasn't competent enough or if her bitterness continued to get in the way?

"If you haven't noticed, cats would rather risk infection then see me." For instance, Wildflower. "I used my claws for justice, for the one I viewed as a nephew, when my paws were meant to heal and give."

ooc:// IM SO SORRY how late this is!! I didn't know if you wanted to continue it or not I totally understand if you don't <3​