* ✰. — as it was ❞ / betonyfrost

[ROOSTERSTRUT]

The young warrior couldn't quite get the incident involving Betonyfrost out of his mind. The desperate look in her eyes, the way she slunk near her bloodied scraps like a feral beast. Roosterstrut has never quite witnessed any of his clanmates, the folk he was raised by and with, act in such an unhinged manner. Leaf-bare has truly driven people to commit acts they were not proud of, yet others gossip about the she-cat — "She's unstable." They whisper. "She's crazy."

And yet, even after all these moons, Roosterstrut can still see Betonyfrost as his denmate, who provided him with a sense of comfort and reassurance following the tragic death of his father. "Betony...?" The glossy-eyed, young tom had sniffled aloud, furred cheeks damp with tears. "Can you stay? Please?" Those nights of settling by the mouth of the den and counting the stars above are still recounted vividly in the tom's mind.

Maybe he's only blinded by his own memories. However, he cannot bring himself to turn his back on someone he once considered a good friend, even after all of the outbursts and aggressions toward everyone. Roosterstrut had tried to approach her before, though to no avail. He didn't see why this time would be any different, but he wanted to at least try.

Roosterstrut lifts his head from the meager fresh kill pile, a toad dangling from his jaws. His belly is hollow like a log, yet he still pads on over in the ashen warrior's direction and meows, "Hey, uh, Betony," He's still used to calling his clanmates by their original names, a habit that he's slowly graduating from but still slips up with from time to time. Going from Rooster to Roosterstrut is still an adjustment as well. "You wanna share this with me?" Did she really deserve this after she savagely tore into that bird? Roosterstrut's gesture might earn some raised eyebrows from others, but Betonyfrost was an individual just like everyone else was, still a clanmate; maybe all she needed was to be shown some kindness.​

— * ✰. ooc information recent events * ✰. —

• @betonyfrost
  
• 
  ✰ ROOSTERSTRUT
  —— amab, uses he/him pronouns. sixteen moons old. warrior of shadowclan.
  —— laid-back young adult who utilizes humor and fun in order to distract from serious matters. he is a decent warrior, though he hesitates to take risks.
  —— link to tags. @ on discord for plots.
  
  roosterstrut is a vibrant orange tabby tom with pale green eyes. he stands at a height ever so slightly above the average. his fur is long and whispy and his tail is especially reminiscent of a rooster's. he sports a signature, goofy smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye.
• 
  

​

 

[betonyfrost]

There are countless ways in which Betonyfrost misses her old life. Before ShadowClan, before the great battle, when she had the privilege of being born to a nameless thing in the marsh, life had been good. She'd had food and family, a security she hadn't known in her youth to appreciate. With the distance that time provides, Betonyfrost could even close her eyes and pretend she had been happy back then, and pretend even further that happiness was something taken from her in the reshuffling of her life.

Roosterstrut represents something of that old life. Things are different between them now, Betonyfrost knows this. Whatever innate instincts her peers have on both making and keeping friends is something that she lacks. Betonyfrost must have done something wrong, she must have been too harsh or too distant. Things are different, but Betonyfrost is desperate for some kind of nostalgia.

"I haven't heard that name in some time," Betonyfrost had been laying down when Roosterstrut had approached, but she stands quickly — too quickly to be anything but deeply nervous despite her light tone. Why are you talking to me? Betonyfrost doesn't say, Come to gawk?

But then he offers his fresh-kill and Betonyfrost's thoughts come to an abrupt halt.

She doesn't respond immediately, rather she jerks her head about in search of any unwanted eyes on her and Roosterstrut. Camp is as it always is, and yet Betonyfrost cannot help but imagine herself as a mouse in an owl's nest, surrounded by the enemy. They'll watch her freeze or starve or any number of things.

"I shouldn't," Betonyfrost settles on, although she moves in place when typically she would be still. She shouldn't. She can't stop looking at the toad, and then at Roosterstrut. She shouldn't, and yet, "Just a bite. Lets go somewhere private, Rooster."​

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 16 moons | tags​

 

[ROOSTERSTRUT]

Roosterstrut notices that the molly is on edge, though he can understand such a reaction. Paranoia had been clinging to Betonyfrost like a plague, cursing her perspective and opinions on her own clanmates. It was a grim downward spiral to bear witness to, as Roosterstrut had once known her as an innocent kitten naive to the world's cruel realities. It seemed that Betonyfrost had not been able to handle her own misfortunes in the same manner as Roosterstrut had; he had now lost both of his parents, though he still pledged to be a decent and sensible clanmate despite everything. It's what they would have wanted for him.

He half-expected Betonyfrost to turn away from him or tell him off, but for perhaps the first time they directly speak to one another in a long while, the other warrior accepts his offer. Pale green hues brighten, a glint of hope. However, such a gesture might be looked down upon by judgmental eyes. "Probably a good idea." The tom muttered, shifting his gaze from side to side before turning to head toward to camp entrance.

A small bolt of nervousness twinges within him, his skin beginning to prickle. Watch your back, his gut seems to whisper. As Roosterstrut walks, he can't help but cycle the image of a bloody-mouthed and hungering Betonyfrost in his mind like a broken film reel. Would she rip the toad from his jaws and run? She's never done anything to you. The figurative angel on his shoulder reminds him to have some faith. Should he distrust Betonyfrost just because everyone else seemed to? What if one cat showing her kindness and decency was enough to leave an impact? There was no harm in trying.

The orange tabby settles just outside of camp, confident that no one would bother them. He sets the toad down and nudges the kill over in the she-cat's direction, silently insisting that she takes the honor of the first bite. The surprise of simply getting Betonyfrost to share a meal with him seemed to outweigh his aching hunger for the moment. "Hopefully we'll be eating better soon, with Pitchstar's plan and all." Roosterstrut truthfully always found toads and frogs to be too slimy for his own personal taste. Biting into a juicy rabbit or mouse sounded more appealing, as much as the idea of stealing from ThunderClan's territory didn't sit too well with the tom. Ah, well. His opinion didn't matter, did it?​

— * ✰. ooc information recent events * ✰. —

• 
  
• 
  ✰ ROOSTERSTRUT
  —— amab, uses he/him pronouns. sixteen moons old. warrior of shadowclan.
  —— laid-back young adult who utilizes humor and fun in order to distract from serious matters. he is a decent warrior, though he hesitates to take risks.
  —— link to tags. @ on discord for plots.
  
  roosterstrut is a vibrant orange tabby tom with pale green eyes. he stands at a height ever so slightly above the average. his fur is long and whispy and his tail is especially reminiscent of a rooster's. he sports a signature, goofy smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye.
• 
  

​

 

[betonyfrost]

Betonyfrost feels strange as she follows Roosterstrut from camp. She can't stop glancing at the toad, as if to confirm that it is really there. She considers reminding Roosterstrut that she isn't supposed to eat, that he may get in trouble for this, but dismisses the urge. Betonyfrost isn't going to tell anyone. No one needs to know. There is a selfish fear in her that Roosterstrut may retract his offer if he remembers — Betonyfrost isn't willing to risk it.

Roosterstrut offers Betonyfrost the first bite.

Something blossoms in Betonyfrost's gut. Fondness, she thinks, or relief.

Slowly, hesitantly, Betonyfrost settles besides Roosterstut. Then, with a speed previously absent, Betonyfrost pulls the toad closer and takes a bite, takes two, and then gasps as if she is winded once she swallows. She needs to stop — she stops herself. The toad sits beneath her paw. Betonyfrost stops herself. She reminds herself that she can still control herself.

Betonyfrost can still control herself.

She reluctantly pushes the toad back to Roosterstut and swallows the growl rising in her throat. She doesn't need to take the toad from Roosterstrut. He isn't going to take it from Betonyfrost. They are sharing. Betonyfrost can share.

...Roosterstrut had said something, before Betonyfrost had even taken a bite.

"Pitchstar's plan?" Betonyfrost asks, then recognition lights her face. Calling it a plan is rather generous, but Betonyfrost doubts she'd be able to come up with something better, "Before — before ShadowClan, or any of the clans, we would have just hunted there without worry. The lands have been claimed piecemeal and, and we're just supposed to accept our allotment. I've heard that, despite being the original clan, we have the smallest territory."

Betonyfrost is surprised by the heat in her own voice. She looks away from Roosterstrut, down to where her claws have dug into the soft mud, and breathes until her paw unclenches.

"It just doesn't seem fair, is all," Betonyfrost settles on.​

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 16 moons | tags​

 

[ROOSTERSTRUT]

Roosterstrut wants to make this a relatively normal interaction between him and Betonyfrost, and intensely staring the other warrior down while she took her share wasn't going to help matters at all. He knows that she's hungry, so eager that she had wolfed down nearly an entire bird and defended the remains from her clanmates. He tore his gaze away from Betonyfrost and casually flicked his attention to the evergreens around them, to the sprawling branches to even the tiniest sprouting pine needles... anything to distract from the ravenous consumption.

The ashen-hued she-cat pushes the kill back toward Roosterstrut, and while he wishes the gesture shouldn't, it indeed surprises him. It was difficult to control one's impulses, especially when one was already desperate enough. Betonyfrost was a cat who was known to act rashly, to inflict harm upon others, so to see her acting in a decent manner toward him was... promising. Had anyone offered Betonyfrost any kindness before? Or had they all just given up on her? Roosterstrut probably wouldn't have bothered himself, had he not shared fond kithood memories with her. Oh the guilt he would feel if he completely gave up on his old friend.

Speaking of the past, Betonyfrost began to rather passionately speak of times before territories and borders and clans, and how ShadowClan had received the shitty end of the deal. Roosterstrut cannot help but feel some ounce of empathy for the other clans; their leaders had chosen the territories, not them. They had families to feed. They had their own lives to live, too. However... it was awfully disheartening that not even their closest ally could afford to offer aid in times like these. What other options did ShadowClan really have?

"It was a lot simpler when it was just the Marsh Group. We'd have more territory, and a lot more variety than lizards and toads, that's for sure." Roosterstrut sighed, glancing down at the fleshy amphibian before him. He leaned down and took a pause from the conversation, tearing away at his own half of the prey. The tabby tom chews, faint memories of training with his friends and bounding along the muddy marshes cropping up within his mind. A lot of them had gone to WindClan or RiverClan, some even to ThunderClan, but no longer were they groupmates. They held different loyalties, and would probably slit his throat if their leader commanded them to. The thought alone is chilling.

Roosterstrut shrugs before continuing, "I know StarClan wanted us to spread out and all, but... sometimes I wonder if it was really worth it." He blinks pale green hues, lost in thought, nearly forgetting who he was even talking to. Did Betonyfrost have people that she missed, too? Or had she really been closed off to everyone for this long? "Seems like there's a lot more conflict than there was before." The herb raid on SkyClan, the skirmish between the medicine cats, the departure of Bonejaw. He's certain that there's much more to come.

Ah, well. Enough of that. Roosterstrut snaps back into reality and pushes the prey back toward Betonyfrost, "Care for the legs?" He flicked an ear and explained, "Even starvation won't get me to eat those." All Roosterstrut really wanted was to bite into a juicy pigeon or even a rabbit, though both were rare to come by. ​

— * ✰. ooc information recent events * ✰. —

• 
  
• 
  ✰ ROOSTERSTRUT
  —— amab, uses he/him pronouns. sixteen moons old. warrior of shadowclan.
  —— laid-back young adult who utilizes humor and fun in order to distract from serious matters. he is a decent warrior, though he hesitates to take risks.
  —— link to tags. @ on discord for plots.
  
  roosterstrut is a vibrant orange tabby tom with pale green eyes. he stands at a height ever so slightly above the average. his fur is long and whispy and his tail is especially reminiscent of a rooster's. he sports a signature, goofy smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye.
• 
  

​

 

[betonyfrost]

"Sometimes I wonder if StarClan even intended for us to split like we have," Betonyfrost admits, and for once she finds her eyes on Roosterstrut's own. She feels as if she wants to press an idea into his head, as a deer presses a hoof through snow and into the mud below, "Do you remember the prophecy that caused the split? Something about a creeper vine, as Briarstar said it. What if we interpreted the prophecy wrong?"

It feels like a scandalous thought to say, that all of this may just be for nothing. Betonyfrost's voice had lowered into an approximation of a whisper.

It wasn't uncommon for a clanmate to complain about the typical ShadowClan prey. Lizards were far more work than the scant meat they provided was worth and toads tasted no better than a day old fish, but there is something in Roosterstrut's offer to Betonyfrost that bothers her. Even starvation won't get me to eat those, he says, and Betonyfrost needs to swallow her reply of you can't possibly know that.

"Glad to know I can keep myself fed on your scraps," Betonyfrost must have meant it as a joke because she finds herself surprised by the harshness in her tone. Was she supposed to feel humiliated as she pulled the toad closer and tore into the bony meat? She wishes suddenly that she could truly be as shameless as her anger makes her feel. More than that, she wishes she could parse the emotion that clamps her heart.

It is only when Betonyfrost is finished with the legs that she raises her head and pushes the toad back to Roosterstut, the movement stiff.

"So, are you here out of pity or curiosity?" He'd just been making casual remark, Betonyfrost reminds herself. He doesn't like to eat the legs. It'd been a nice thing, to offer them to Betonyfrost, "And do you want to offer me any other offal? All that nasty viscera maybe?"​

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 16 moons | tags​