camp CAN WE JUST TALK &. civil discussion

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

this was not how they expected any of this to go. they'd only been back in their body for a night, and everything that has happened has been explained. everything in their body fucking hurts, and they find themself staring out of their den. how was their clan going to recover from this? how would starlingheart and her kits? they could not care less what happened to themself. they could not care any less what happened to that murderer and his sister. they only wanted to know if their clan would get past this. how would they? shadowclan has never been the clan to hold paws and heal after stuff happened. they all just pushed it down like it didnt happen, as if they were hurting terribly.

they still remember every single moment of pitchstar's death. the news of his body being discovered still rocks them to their core, and makes them sick to their stomach. they ended up following the cat back to where his limp body laid and they wailed. screamed that the idiot promised that he wasn't going to leave them again. that he promised he wasn't going to die before they had more time. promises were always meant to be broken, werent they? because even then, they promised him that they'd find who killed him, and get justice. they thought it was handled. that the rogue who took his lives was found... but he wasn't. not until he admitted it to their face in his bloodlusted haze.

granitepelt killed so many. for what? for some sick sense of justice he told himself. he told starlingheart something similar, after admitting outloud to killing her brother. he tried to manipulate her, and his kits, all in one fell swoop. he had been losing it, apparently, his grip on control he thought he had slipping, along with his sanity. they tried to give him a chance and he ruined it with his own ambitions. he claimed they didn't ever really trust him, and he wasn't wrong about that. but they didn't trust anyone that easy. why would they? shadowclan had a lot of things, but the ability to trust seemed like one thing that they could not afford themselves.

as they peered out of their den, they can't help but wonder. had granitepelt been right? were they too weak to care for this clan? was shadowclan weak because of them? they force themself to their paws, coughing as their lungs take in the strain upon them. they know they're supposed to be resting and they have every intention on doing so, but they cannot sit here and do absolutely nothing. they will, however, take it easy. they take a moment to steady themself on unsteady paws before exiting their den, the sun barely rising. it was still a decent time, but with the cold came less sunlight. they shivered, with a silent prayer to the stars that they would be kinder to them this leafbare.

"shadowclan... i suppose we have a lot to talk about, don't we?"

they start, waiting for cats to gather around them, sitting to catch their breath. this was not nearly as formal as a meeting would have been. they don't want it to be, either. they needed to be more... intimate about it they supposed. more willing to take feedback, instead of just yelling at cats who have all had their worlds turned upside down in a matter of minutes.

"let me start with an apology. i'm... sorry. i know that i can be a less than kind leader, and seem like i don't care but... shadowclan means a great deal to me. all of you do, even if you don't believe me."

they twitched their ears back and forth with a small huff of breath against the cold air.

"i want you all to be honest. with me, with yourselves, with each other. how can i make this clan better? how can i prevent a repeat of what has happened? we don't have to lick each others fur and hold paws but... we are a clan that feels a lot less like one. so... how can i help? how any of us? this starts with me, i know, but without you all, this will go nowhere. and no... no arguing. we are just talking. okay?"

this has to count for something, right? they truly are trying here. they can only hope that they see that. it just sucks that it took something so tragic happening for them to see just how divided the clan truly was.

//just a discussion thread! they know the wound is fresh in everyone's mind but they want to start trying to get shadowclan to not hate each other LMAO
​

 

[lilacfur]

Expectations were dangerously low in how any sort of recovery, any sort of change would occur after ousting the murderers in their Clan. ShadowClan was as stubborn as the smell of the marsh. Sticking its roots down as far as the redwoods and gnarling into itself until it was nothing but a tangled mess of conviction and arrogance that stung at the slightest touch. Granitepelt's words though slick with venom had not all been entirely untrue. That fact alone made her most uncomfortable- that a cold blooded killer could look at them all, bleed his crimes dry in front of their very eyes and still speak sensibly enough that she... Understood.

Had her history with Granitepelt been different she may have even empathized with him. Both of them never got to meet their fathers, for one. His mother had abandoned her life to return to a kittypet lifestyle but she had lost hers, too, but thinking about their connections for too long made her gut feel like a sinking rock. Starlingheart had faced the same things too and she couldn't shake the idea that it had always been planned. His love for her was always tainted with control over her, using their similarities to allow him to kill as much as he did without consequence.

After all, she had supplied him the very nightshade that killed their brother.

Chilledstar rose from their den for the first time and Lilacfur pointedly did not spare them even a glance. She turned her head away from the leader, her expression of distant despair now creased in livid anger. Her thick fluffy tail thudded against the earth in rhythmic patterns, trying to guide the volatile thoughts away from her voice.

They spoke their apologies and the more they spoke after the more her skin burned with fiery anger. What could they possibly say that would ever fix this? Moons and moons and moons had molded Granitepelt and Siltcloud into what they had become, born from the very dawn of their Clan. Could they ever undo this? Prevent it?

No arguing. They had said. Fine. She wouldn't argue, but she would speak her mind.

"Have you given it any thought why any of us wouldn't believe you?" Lilacfur swallowed back the urge to cry. "You're right about one thing, this absolutely starts with the leader. The leader, who's good mood depends on the direction of a breeze and how many clouds may be in the sky. The leader who can't spare a single emotion outside of anger or complete neutrality when ever speaking to their Clan-" Lilacfur cut herself off as she derailed into another pointed frustration.

"How come the first time I've EVER seen you care for me when we both knew I might as well be dead? Don't I deserve a leader who doesn't have me guessing if my life even matters to them? Don't we?"​

[ sad hello's and mad high low's ]​

 

[Frostbite]

Frostbite sits by Chilledstar calmly, a far cry from the angry dog that had just hunted and chased two cats from his territory. This discussion was desperately needed, and he knew better than to carry his temper into it. Hopefully it wouldn't resurface, but time will tell. He's confident in his ability to stay calm for now.

He has his own opinions, but Lilacfur gets to them first. Emotionally charged, yes, but he agrees with her. "Lilacfur is right." He says calmly. "You say you care about us, and I know you do. But you need to show it more often." He continues. " Get a grip on yourself. Don't push yourself further than you can handle. You need to take care of yourself first if you're going to take care of us. Your image is important. Stand tall, speak clearly and with confidence."

His advice is genuine, spoken calmly. This moment is very important, it will shape the clan made vulnerable by treachery into something worse, or something stronger. Frostbite wants to make it stronger. It's time for Shadowclan to be taken seriously by the forest, and itself. Shadowclan should be feared and respected by the other clans, not looked down on or pitied or not even given a glance.

He wraps his tail around his paws and looks to Chilledstar, awaiting their response as others likely begin chiming in as well.​

 

[ROOSTERSTRUT]

A ray of hope begins to dawn upon ShadowClan's camp as their leader emerges from their den. It had been an exhausting night to get through, the bloodstained confessions of Granitepelt and the images of chasing both him and his sister out of their camp for good haunting his mind. The damage was still fresh, hard to ignore, but beginning a new day was only the first step in moving on.

The warrior gathered quietly as Chilledstar commenced a much-needed address to their clan before opening up the floor for anyone to talk. He has certainly never seen this from a leader before but... it felt needed. ShadowClan needed unity right now.

He glances in Lilacfur's direction, a frown painting his maw as she expels frustrations and emotions that surely must have been building for a while. Her composure is fragile, he notices, and undoubtedly from the shock of Siltcloud's betrayal. Feeling overlooked and undervalued by your own leader was not a great feeling, and even if Chilledstar may have not meant for anyone to feel similarly, it was still crucial to bring it to light.

As for preventing a repeat of this unfortunate situation, Roosterstrut did not see a clear answer. Clanmates were supposed to have faith in one another, and not be suspicious of their loyalties, but he suspected it may be difficult after this. "None of us could have known this would happen. Most of us trusted Granitepelt and Siltcloud at the very least as clanmates. No matter what their opinions were of you and ShadowClan as a whole, their actions were unforgivable." Granitepelt's disdain for Chilledstar and Pitchstar did not warrant the murders and kidnappings of innocent cats. Siltcloud followed her sibling's path, ultimately leading to her own downfall. Instead of turning their backs on their home, they could have worked to make it better.

The lead warrior, Frostbite, remains level-headed as usual with his insight. It is delivered calmly and with consideration, though firm all the same. "I agree with Frostbite." Roosterstrut meows, lifting his head and meeting the leader's icy gaze. "Chilledstar, I don't doubt your loyalty to ShadowClan for a second. However, what we need now more than ever is trust. We need to support each other. We need to make this clan safer for everyone in it." If cats didn't feel safe or valued by their leader, then they might feel compelled to follow in Granitepelt and Siltcloud's pawsteps. They may feel the need to betray their own clan if they didn't feel a reason to remain loyal. "We're not asking you to be someone that you're not, but if you can show that you're here for us, then we'll be here for you." It went both ways. Granitepelt used Chilledstar's aloof and dismissive personality against them, painting it as a weakness, but they could take this as an opportunity to grow and prove him wrong. ShadowClan did not have to be as gloomy and murky as its territory.

₊ ⋆ * ⊹ ₊ ☾ —— 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙚𝙧

• 

• 

  ✰ ROOSTERSTRUT
  —— he/him; warrior of shadowclan
  —— heteroflexible; single
  —— red tabby tom with long hair and pale green eyes
  —— "speech", thoughts, attack
  —— link to full tags; @ on discord for plots.
  —— penned by beatles

​

 

[Skunktail]

—————————————————————⊰☆⊱————————————————————

A discussion, a long time coming, and it took five deaths and two missing kits to get to this point. Did his brother need to die for this? Did those apprentices need to be cut short of their lives just for their leader to finally realized that despite the awfulness of his actions and how unjustified he was - that the gray tom had a small point beneath the layers of vitriol he spewed.
"I agree with Roosterstrut. None of us could have suspected this. Granitepelt is far from the most pleasant of company but to do this....to kill so many...to take the kits...not a soul among us would have any idea and those who claim to have known all along or 'I told you so' make a mockery of the rest of us. He was a diligent warrior, he was my little sister's mate, he had the perfect face to present to us when his paws grew bloodier and bloodier each day."

Starlingheart had not realized, one could say she was blinded by her love but that would be insulting her intelligence - she was a rational cat who knew what happened when you followed your heart more than your mind, she'd paid the price for the lessons many times over and he would cut any cat who dared speak otherwise. He brushes up alongside Lilacfur, tail curling over her shoulder as he comes to a stop in a gesture of support and comfort.
"The burden of a leader is more than any cat can comprehend, it is a blessing and a curse but you treat it only like the latter." His voice is quiet, throat tight, the usual jovial and loud tone he often spoke with an almost whimper of a sound now in comparison. Skunktail feels tired in a way he never thought he would, not since losing his mother, his brothers, so many others...
Frostbite adds to the conversation, insisting their leader ought to take care of himself and while he agreed Skunktail felt very strongly he should take care of them first and he says as much.

"You act as if you do not want to BE here Chilledstar, this is not the best territory and we struggle often - it has always been that way since the colony days but it has gotten better. You haven't. Losing Pitchstar hurt my family, we NEEDED you to step up. We NEEDED you to fill the space he left, so we could find solace in moving forward. And what have you done? You treat your position like a chore you do not want, you treat your clanmates like we are simply bothers ruining your day. My sister is right, you might care inside but what does that do for US Chilledstar? We can not see your heart, we can not read your mind! You have to give back to us, you have to show us! ...ShadowClan is nothing without a strong leader and a clan who supports them. How can we support you if you do not support us back."
His ears pin back and he frowns, looking for all the world like he wants to drop on the spot and sleep until the memories of chasing a cat he considered kin from their territory all but faded from behind his eyes.

☆ ———— promise me she's not your world ☆ ———————— 'Cause Andy, you're a star

•  
• 
  
  
  Skunktail
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ SH Black & white tom w/spearmint green eyes
  

​

 

[FERNDANCE]

Ferndance, heavily pregnant and scorned by the idea that it'd been that easy for a Lead Warrior to steal kittens, did not find herself in the mood to have a civil conversation with Chilledstar. Old wounds had scarred over from their death, caused by the very paws they thought were better than hers, but still they remained, ugly and exposed as she narrowed her eyes towards the leader. "If you want to stop being betrayed, then stop betraying your friends first." They had exposed their black throat and she was going to stick her proverbial teeth in, damn who was around, damn who wanted to argue with her. Moons of frustration, moons of feeling as if her good self had to be suppressed to keep her clan happy, she was sick of hiding. Age was not on Ferndance's side today, she was not an aunt or mentor spilling life lessons to the young pups that needed it, she was speaking peer-to-peer, ranks shed like the skin of a lizard.

"Granitepelt is awful, nasty, really icky, honestly I'm surprised he got away with it for so long, if you lined up all of ShadowClan and asked a stranger to point at the one most likely to do anything wrong, it would be Granitepelt, but... what was I talking about again?" She tilted her head, frustrated the words did not come out as succinctly as she'd hoped. She wanted to blame the little ones growing inside her, but they weren't as responsible for the butterflies floating around in her stomach and the tightness upon her chest as she'd hoped. Confrontation was fun, confrontation with someone she'd loved felt like she'd been attacked by a million quills. It needed to be said though, Chilledstar wanted honesty. "Oh, right, you. You said I was too silly to be a Lead Warrior, fine, but there was no need to insult me like that in front of the whole clan. If you don't want it to happen again, I suggest you think about how you treat those closest to you, because I may not want to hurt ShadowClan, but if half of my friends had to go through what you put me through, well... you'd have a lot less warriors, that is for sure. But, jokes on you I guess, my replacement was so silly he got exiled." Another mistake, he should've been killed for all he'd done - but that'd been Smogmaw's poor choice, not Chilledstar's.
​

 

[FORESTSHADE]

Forestshade’s ears prick as she catches the sound of movement at the mouth of her leader’s den. She moves forward towards them, having kept her distance while they recovered and now she was done staying away. That was her mentor, they’re her friend, and she needs to check on them. But their words draw her to a slow stop nearby, brow lifting slightly in surprise. Did they hit their head? This doesn’t sound like Chilledstar at all, but she sits down, willing to listen, willing to talk.

Her ears pin when the first words to fly accuse their leader of not caring. She is biased. Chilledstar acted more a parent to her than her mother and father, they believed in her when her own family did not, when her own sister left the clan they promised to join together. The torbie will not stand by and let their name be dragged through the mud. She bares her teeth in annoyance, standing to first swing her head towards the former lead warrior who pouts about her demotion.

“You were kicked off Chilledstar’s council because you’re a complete frog-brain and everyone here knows it. This is about the clan, not you,” She hisses, lashing her tail. So much for no arguing, but she is defensive of her former mentor. Besides, it is obvious the Ferndance isn’t all there - Forestshade would believe it if she heard she’d been born in a tree and hit every branch on the way down.

She next whirls to face the other warriors, angry unseeing eyes staring at the ground before all their paws. “It’s about the clan, all of you. All of us! Want this to be a nice and sunshiney place? You can all quit acting like you hate each other and acting like you hate this marsh! If anyone hates it so much they can leave. You’re idiots if you think this is all on Chilledstar. They’re one cat, for StarClan’s sake!” She’s stayed quiet about it, gone about her days with her clanmates, trained her apprentices, hunted for the lot of them, but of course she has noticed the lack of warmth in their camp. Where other clans arrived at Gatherings with laughter in their voices and pelts brushing, ShadowClanners arrive in silence, their frowns so loud a blind cat can picture them there. It isn’t on one cat to get ShadowClanners to like each other!

// IC OPINIONS I wanted a chance to get her loud mouth in here​

 

[Skunktail]

—————————————————————⊰☆⊱————————————————————
And now Miss 'gets knocked up during leafbare' has graced them with her presence and turned it into a whining little pity party. Skunktail rolled his eyes with what felt like enough force for them to pop out of his head.
"You were demoted because you're a self-serving idiot. You're an embarrassment, you're hardly befit to be a warrior let alone a Lead and here you are still throwing a tantrum over being removed while carrying KITS in leafbare and putting your clan at a disadvantage…you are proving Chilledstar’s point several times over. If there is one thing we are not discussing now it's their removal of you, because of all the decisions they've made so far that is one of the few not a cat in the clan can deny was necessary! When I said no one believed Granitepelt would do this its because he at least acted with some sense - I'd have suspected you long before I considered him!"

She was going to be a rotten mother, spoiled untrained kits or wander off like Forestshade who had the audacity to call out they were being cruel when she abandoned her own children the moment they were weaned, "This isn't all on Chilledstar - you're right, but our leader is our guidance and our beacon! What of you, Forestshade? Anymore kits you wanna push on the other queens to watch while you galavant across the territory like a fool? No one in this clan acts right and it needs to change but it starts at the top! We are all accountable but our leader must lead by example!"

☆ ———— promise me she's not your world ☆ ———————— 'Cause Andy, you're a star

•  
• 
  
  
  Skunktail
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ SH Black & white tom w/spearmint green eyes
  

​

 

[Scorchedmoon]

Chilledstar asks for criticism for once, and oh boy, do they get it. It’s already a huge shitshow, and Scorchedmoon looks around at all the cats bickering, body more on edge than usual after the adrenaline finally wore off. They’re not that important of a figure in this discussion to be fair, as they have stayed complacent despite their hang ups, but watching an argument finally break out makes them reconsider if they want to stay silent on this matter. His leader asked for honesty, after all, and if there was one thing Scorchedmoon is good at, it’s that.

ShadowClan is all he has ever known. The constant lingering of gloom has always been a constant, and he’s grown used to it, despite how opposite he is in nature and was in nurture. Cats are social creatures, after all. But as far back as Scorchedmoon can recall, he has always been treated as an oddball, and usually avoided because of that. It’s not a fun experience, despite his learned helplessness. And when Forestshade calls it out, finally lets it out in the open, he feels implored to bring his own thoughts into it.

Even as Ferndance is getting bombarded with her own faults as Skunktail beings to add to the slander, he can’t help but be in agreement with the striped tom. “I-I agree with Skunktail. I love you all, I really do, but…I think we all need to learn how to cooperate better. We need to start somewhere, and that somewhere starts with Chilledstar. When I do see you, you’re not exactly…the most pleasant cat to be around, I’m sorry. I want to be able to enjoy being greeted by who leads my clan!”

Scorchedmoon takes a second to not feel like he’s making the biggest mistake of his life, and continues. “Most of the time, I don’t feel like I belong here, and I hate that the only home I will ever know has become so distrusting of one another that we now have to worry about who might be betraying us.” What if another cat like Granitepelt has just been buying their time, fed up like him? It wouldn’t exactly surprise him, and that’s what hurts the most.​

 

[Frostbite]

There was a time when Frostbite would have been just as harsh as his clanmates were being, but he can't quite find it in himself to be that way. With Chilledstar, at least. They were thrust into this position before they were prepared, all because of Granitepelt. If they had more time, perhaps they would act a bit different.

He is quiet while his clanmates share their words and a frown tugs at his face as he remembers the meeting where Ferndance was demoted. It... Was an embarrassment. He couldn't say it wasn't.

"Your demotion could have been handled far better than it was, this is true." Frostbite agrees. "Your anger is understandable." He admits. He can't really argue with her. That meeting was a disaster and he'd be mad as hell too if he were in her position.

He looks to Chilledstar. "Did you ever apologize to Ferndance for being so rude?" He asks, tone as calm as morning mist. That's the important thing here. To remain calm and consider the words being spoken.

"Part of the problem in this clan is also the way our kits are raised. Too many times have I encountered parents who do not care, neglect their kits, or outright abandon them to someone else." He says. He thinks of Crimsonflower, Poppypaw's detestable mother. He thinks of Maggotfur's father, who gave her such a name in the first place. Forestshade, who was allergic to spending time in the nursery with her own kits. Betonyfrost, who....Is just Betonyfrost.

He looks at Forestshade. He doesn't stop looking at Forestshade. He might be a little bitter about being abandoned in the nursery with her kits as well as his own.

And wouldn't you know it, Skunktail speaks his feelings just as he was going to put them into words!

"Kits need love and care. Attention and support. You were hardly there for your kits in the nursery, Forestshade." He says. "Queens are supposed to stay in the nursery with their kits, not visit them once in a while." He is surprised at his ability to continue to speak calmly and not let any venom through.

"Part of the problem with us is being demonstrated already, actually. We are quicker to be cold to each other than we are to offer comfort and support. We don't care for each other the way the other clans do. Too many times have we had abusive mentors or parents revealed too late. These things would not happen if we were closer to each other." He says.

"We are Shadowclan. We thrive in the darkness, but that does not mean our hearts have to as well. We struggle together, not alone. Our ire should be directed outwards towards our enemies, not inwards to our clanmates. If we do not support each other, no one will." He says, then scans the group as a hole.

"I think now is a good time to apologize to each other for any wrongdoings so we can start anew." He suggests.​

 

[scalejaw]

—————————————————【 she/her | menacing 】————————————————

【◈】 Scalejaw had not traveled far from camp. She had not, and refused to, after Chilledstar lost another life. So much was going on in her head, fed in and wound up and churning like some kind of chasm full of water. Her eyes were closed, even as Chilledstar rose and begin speaking to the clan. If Scalejaw opened her eyes, exhaustion burning like a flame within them, she would have noticed even she sat taller then her leader at this exact moment.

And they did- they spoke honestly, rough and unguided flank bared to the fangs of Shadowclan. Some bit without hesitation, raw wounds of their own on display. Frostbite was trying to be a voice of reason, at least, but some of these cats were ignoring the whole 'no arguing' comment. It felt like the conversation was going in circles and Frostbite's claws were dug into the wheel, so Scalejaw finally rose. She left the small pool of shadows beside the warrior's den, coal-like eyes squinting open against the light.

Okay, maybe she hadn't slept, but the gloves were off, right? Her voice started as a cold rumble, face twisted in a grimace of barely restrained emotion and slowly chilling anger. "What happened to no arguments? Does this seem very friendly to you, any of you?" She asked, ears pushing forward. Scalejaw swallowed the anger that continued to bite- her best friend was on display, and all some of them could do was take their chances at damaging their heart. "Yeah, we've all got shit we've done wrong. Frostbite is more right then any of you whining about personal problems, or attacking one another."

Her vision shifted towards Frostbite. That was a lead warrior she could get behind, even if he was a bit soft and quick to reaction outside of their camp walls. "We are a clan, and we can start right now." She responded directly after Frostbite suggested the apologies, but Scalejaw wasn't quite done.

Standing beside Chilledstar, her orbs shifted to him, and she spoke in a quieter voice- but not one that was softer. "Do you remember what I said when Granitepelt was promoted? You didn't listen." Her tone was like ice, as if the irony of the name of her best friend was catching on. "I think a good first step would be to listen. Don't erupt, don't shoulder aside concerns. Eyes, and ears, open, but not the soft side of your heart." Okay, maybe Scalejaw was just trying to teach Chilledstar the very things she did now, but that was okay, Scalejaw thought. At the very least, Chilledstar might be able to stand taller.

Her head dipped closer to her friend, voice too quiet for the rest to hear. "I know you're tired. Pick your chin up, yeah?" Scalejaw turned, sitting next to her leader. Solidarity? Maybe. Maybe she knew that they were still recovering, maybe she knew that no one else would bother- okay, maybe Forestshade would, but that was a whole other conversation. Her words lifted again, sharp to the wind and her own fur prickling with unease. "Apologies first, then we be honest with one another. Find loyalties in the same cats we sleep beside, yeah?"

"yuh"

[penned by dallas].

​

 

[DEERPAW -]

Deerpaw has been eerily quiet since Granitepelt had been unceremoniously hauled to camp. Quiet as he had admitted to his crimes, quiet as he and Siltcloud had been run from their territory like the renegade rogues they were. Anger had simmered beneath the surface the whole time, the murderer of multiple cats finally exposed. Deerpaw sits close to their father now, paws pressed close together and

They deign not to jump into the argument unfolding around them, ShadowClan's ever-conflicting adults snapping teeth at each other's mere voices. Their tail flicks, and the apprentice suppresses the urge to roll their eyes. How were they meant to forge a new future for ShadowClan, trusting each other, when they continued to hold such petty grudges? In their youth, Deerpaw doesn't quite understand the nuance of the situation, but thank StarClan at least Frostbite had enough sense to have this conversation civilly, as had been called for.

"You need to choose lead warriors when you are of sound mind." They suggest mildly, looking to Chilledstar. Annoyance edges their meow, out of place, but recalling the meeting where Granitepelt had been promoted irked them. They'd been apprenticed there, between broken words and circular sentences. Chilledstar had nearly assigned them to the wrong warrior. Ptarmiganpaw had been addressed wrong. Poppypaw's mentor had been misnamed ... They exhale a sharp sigh through their nose. "The whole Clan could see you were sick when Granitepelt was promoted."
​

 

[SHARPSHADOW]

It's the understatement of all four seasons, that ShadowClan has much to talk about.

But it's... difficult. And saying that is an understatement too. How does one simply unpack everything wrong with ShadowClan? The thoughts he's harbored since is he realized the world was not sunshine and rainbows at the ripe age of two moons. The problems that have persisted which each leader. The toils of Leafbare. The suffocating atmosphere that hangs over them all, only growing as the moons pass by. Or maybe that is only her. Maybe she's just dramatic. How could she open her mouth without knowing what is real and what isn't?

The answer is that he does not. Sharpshadow remains silent. Her thoughts are kept behind silver hues, burning with the weight of all they contained.

He never would've guessed that Chilledstar gave a damn about them at all. To say this... and to ask for more. it feels all - wrong.

She isn't dramatic. At least, not now. Not when the clan raises their voices, unanimous in the opinion that Chilledstar does not care. Pitchstar had cared too much, to the extent of insanity, of paranoia; of joining with the forest's most detestable cats, if only to seek strength and safety. Sharpshadow could never pick a favorite of the two. One extreme to the next, both have sent her spinning, spinning. Both have been bad.

Sharpshadow feels judgement. She thinks there is any number of things someone could sat about her. But not that she does not care. Never that she does not care.

There is truth in every word said. Snippets, here and there, even if she did not agree with the whole of it. How could she ever hope to? Her fur is raised along her spine as she listens. Forestshade speaks. And see, truth. Sharpshadow did hate this marsh. Never would she share a meal with many of these cats— maybe not any to them. But at least she didn't act like it. She couldn't be like them— the rest of them.

Pearly teeth worry their way into black - lips. Words are hard to reach for, right now. What had Smogmaw said? ...He liked when he used his voice. ...Not like he cared what Smogmaw thought, but...

He glances to Ferndance— to Scalejaw. A glance is offered to Deerpaw, and then he lowers his head, unwilling to meet any of the furious gazes. Look at me. I'm calm. Quills prickle their way up Sharpshadow's neck. She wouldn't be like them. " I... think, " Slow words, because now of all times, she could not afford to... trip. " It isn't... fair. To talk about trust, and being kinder to each other, and in the same breath saying that— that we should've suspected Granitepelt of such horrible things because we.... We didn't like his face, " the end of his sentence is strained with a hiss, punched between clenched teeth. Bristling grows more intense the more she carries on. Couldn't that have been him? Him who'd been suspected, because he has an unlikeable face? And unlikeable voice? Because he wasn't the... the kindest with his words?

" He was not... nice, " And with a narrow of his eyes, he says, but neither are most of you. " But... murder. Murder, " he bites the last word, because no one seems to realize how bad it had truly been. Not one— but several. Lives lost. " And some of you are standing around like— like you knew it. Like you knew all of that. When you didn't. "

Granitepelt had been— was but a moon older than him. Maybe two. If he thinks back... If he remembers Pitchstar, wild eyes and spiralling rosettes. He can remember how Granitepelt's sibling had died. How Bonejaw had killed her. And she'd told him it doesn't matter.

What had Chilledstar said? How do we keep this from happening again? The solution was not to not promote "shady figures", or to listen to what Scalejaw and Ferndance say. It's... It's to treat your kits right. " If... if you all think Granitepelt was born a traitor... " And of course— no one had said that. But the solution was apparently to not put him in power. To suspect the one with an attitude. Who was at fault for looking to Granitepelt, when ShadowClan's other options were ThunderClan lovers and lunatics?

His ears pin to his head, realizing that said lunatic had somewhat of a point, if only a small one. He shakes his head. What was happening? Black paws shuffle in mud. " Um... Frostbite. I— he has... I agree. "

with myself i must play in this game of charades ( ♱ ) cause there's no one to speak to

• 
  
  

• 

• ( OF THE THINGS I'VE GOT IN MY BRAIN ) SHARPSHADOW: Formerly mentored by Smogmaw
  ♱ he / she , no pref , dislikes gender neutral language ; fine with gendered terms
  ♱ currently 17 moons old as of 11.12.23 / ages every 8th
  
  

  dark smoke feline that stands at an above average height. Easily identifiable by her namesake – an unruly mat of fur, destined to be cluttered by inconsistencies between chimera halves. Burdened with a broken tail, often lying dead behind her in the dirt.

  
  Anxious, antisocial, paranoid. Sharpshadow has not known peace for a single time in his life, and lives anticipating inevitable dangers to the detriment of herself and others. —scraping together some higher purpose— making somewhat of an effort to be " likeable "
  heavy ic opinions! he's irrational and mean </3

​

 

[Magpiepaw]

—————————————————————⊰♰⊱————————————————————
Magpiepaw is silent as the discussion begins, he feels no need to speak. Many of his worries were already addressed and in an odd way Chilledstar had also eased his discomfort in their final moments before a life was taken by Granitepelt's claws. An apology, acknowledgement. He holds it to his chest and listens with eyes closed, voices rising in intensity and emotion but never screaming, never shouting or fighting.
It was not tame, it was uncomfortable, but it was a necessity. Frostbite speaks of his primary worries, that the clan lacked the warmth and compassion in rearing kits to avoid them turning hateful as they grew older. They needed love. They needed to deal with bad parents, they needed to stop warriors from being dismissive and outright bullying apprentices into learning they meant nothing. He thinks of Flickerfire, for all her foolishness she had put a paw on his head once and humored him with a light tone rather than mocked his oddity. She made her mistakes, but she had held her namesake and a warmth that he desperately wished they could have again.

"Stop...stop..." His voice crackes, he felt so much stronger on the journey than he did here - now he felt small and insignificant once more in face of all this, "Stop blaming Chilledstar for Granitepelt....you're all awful, they had no idea of knowing...where is your proof, you claim you knew-where is this proof? Where is it? You are just as crude and mean as Granitepelt was. Are we to suspect you now based on that alone? You told them so? You told them? Are you a prophet now from the stars, do they whisper to you in the night warnings of stone gray fur and red-tipped teeth? You mock us all with your insistence of your own self-righteousness. There is not a cat among you who knew his heart more than my mentor, you insult her with your attempts to be in the right, your efforts to put yourself above the rest of us as though we are blind and mewling newborns. Shame on you. Shame on any of you who speak otherwise."
His blue-violet gaze locks with Scalejaw, an insult to his teacher, his beloved older sister figure was not taken lightly. She wanted to be self-important then she could take the mantle of medicine cat herself and learn what burden weak hearts have, that the stars only spoke when they felt it apt and no time other - he could not see the future, he was too afraid of it anyways.

He does not even look at Ferndance, from the day she was demoted he had lost his patience with her entirely. He didn't like how she was stripped of power, how Chilledstar had foolishly held an assembly while ill and promoted another cat in their addled state of mind, but there was no denying what ShadowClan needed was stability and it had been necessary. They needed something. Not Ferndance's foolishness. Not Scalejaw's selfishness. Not Forestshade's negligence. Not Skunktail's abrasiveness. Frostbite, so warm for a name so cold, was as close to this as he could imagine. If only there were more of him and less of the others.
"Go back to the nursery, you have burdened your medicine cats with foolishness. I will watch more cats die in leafbare of hunger, have we not seen enough loss of life for you? Was yellowcough not enough?"

He looks away, feeling his eyes welling up and despite his best efforts gives a warbling cry, a sniffling sob, "I miss the mountains...none of them were bound by clan loyalty but we all worked together, we got along....we slept alongside one another for warmth, we talked about our friends and our families and we wondered why things could not always be this way. Why can I not have that back here? Why can I not have that warmth? I found more kinship in a ThunderClanner...in a RiverClanner....than I have here outside of Starlingheart."
Were it not for his mentor he wonders if he too would have stayed behind with Honeyjaw.
"Why should I not also run into the marshes never to return as that traitor has? My heart is just as lost as his though my paws are unbloodied."

————— ⸸ looks like the stars won't shine much longer ———— ⸸ so give me your hand

• OOC can go here.
• 
  
  
  Magpiepaw
  —⊰⋅ MCA of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/a white throat and blue-violet eyes.
  —⊰⋅ Has mild cerebellar hypoplasia (Wobbly cat syndrome)
  
  

​

 

[Needledrift]

"....maybe you shouldn't be leader anymore..." Needledrift's voice is quiet at first, a murmur against a sea of noise. She bristles visibly at the insults thrown towards Ferndance and she feels herself curl around the lankier she-cat protectively. Her tail - bottled-brushed - twitches angrily against the tabby's swollen belly. She wasn't an embarrassment and she wasn't frog-brained.

She bites back her anger and her fear - her fear that her and Ferndance's children will be raised in a clan that hates them. A clan that could harbor murderers and traitors right beneath their noses and they wouldn't know until they were burying their child. Magpiepaw sniffles and speaks of the mountains, and Needledrift couldn't agree with him more in that moment. If I had any sense, I'd go to back to the mountains. I'd carry Ferndance if I had to. Anything to get away from... .... home.

ShadowClan was her home. And it was deteriorating right before her eyes.

Her gaze finds Chilledstar and for a moment, the black cat's inky visage is blurred by red-hot tears. "When I came to you because I was worried about Mothpaw, you gave him to almost like a punishment. Like it was a burden to care about how children grew in your clan. You are so -so - so -" She doesn't have the word. The words. The thoughts she had swirled around in her mind like a cyclone. Memories of her and Chilledstar as kits, younglings bouncing around the marshes.... they seemed so fake now.

"We're not the same cats we were when we were young. We've grown. We've lost. But you..." She can feel the tears slipping down her cheeks, brought on by the combined pent-up stress from the journey, the reveal of Granitepelt and Siltcloud's crimes, the death of Sabletuft and Heavybranch, the confusion of the present "conversation", if one were to call it that. "You shouldn't be our leader if you can't even guide yourself." It was stupid to say all this... stupid, stupid, stupid! Chilledstar was her friend... was her friend.

They had grown up. Friendship didn't matter in the grand scheme of the clan. For the good of clan. For the good of her kits. Her kits would come first. She pressed herself closer to Ferndance (a near impossible task now as it was ever) and shook as she began to silently sob. ​

 

[Starlingheart]

Starlingheart is quiet. When Chilledstar emerges from their den she can barely spare them a glance from where she crouches, staring glassy eyed at the ground beneath her paws. Even now, when the squabbling breaks out she remains quiet, all of the angry words of her clanmates just sounding like a faint buzzing in her ears. Everything feels so far away, like she is watching from somewhere else, not in her own skin. When she looks up it's like everything is muted. She hears her brother speak but she doesn't really hear him. She is lost in her own thoughts, replaying everything Granitepelt ever said or did and asking herself how much of it was a lie, how much of it was real.

ShadowClan was shaken. That much was true. But she is the one who has lost everything here, not them. How can I be this numb? She thinks. It is not until Scalejaw speaks that she snaps out of her catatonia. Her head whips around to fix the smoky warrior with an icy glare. "Shut up" she growls and her voice sounds so unlike her that it almost scares her. Almost. She stands now, takes a step closer to Scalejaw and she knows she is not threatning in any sense of the word but she feels so much anger in the place of nothingness and it feels good. She latches on to the feeling of anything at all, even if that feeling is something so destructive. "Stop talking like you know because you don't. He was MY mate, the father of MY children. If you claim to have seen this coming then you're full of it. You didn't know him at all. I did, I grew up next to him, spent every night since I was a kit with him. So shut up. Please just shut up." and suddenly the fire dies and she feels tired again. She should've known, she tells herself. "If you want to- want to talk about apologies apologize to me and apologize to my kits. We have-have lost more than you could ever even begin to imagine today and you all standing here mocking us is not helping anything." she just wants to curl up into her nest and go to sleep for a moon, but she knows she has to be strong. Strong like she had been when her world was turned upside down the first time when her mother died, then again when Bonejaw left, and yet again when Pitchstar was killed. By the paws of her own mate, her big brother, her protector, had died.

Magpiepaw speaks then and she is quiet as she listens, though she does not want to. She has had enough heartbreak today and now to hear her apprentice speak like this, it is almost too much. Fresh tears spring to her eyes. He will see more death this leaf-bare he says and she cannot even tell him that he is wrong. "Even though yuh-you were-were not born here, you still have ShadowClan blood run- running through your veins. You belong here just-just as much as the next cat Magpiepaw." she tells him, her voice once again soft, the anger dying from behind tear filled eyes. What else is there for her to say? She could remind him that he is family to her, that she needs him now more than ever but in doing so she would be acting selfishly. No, he needed to hear it from a clanmate who was not her.

​

 

[MIRESTAR]

☾. . ° ✦ Beige fading to brown, that was precisely all Mirepurr saw in the current moment. Their head hung low, staring down at their paws like it was the most interesting thing in the world. This moment made them feel like a 'paw again, scolded for doing something wrong. Chilledstar had called upon a civil discussion and it was already going astray- but who could blame any of them, any of the shaking voices and the heartfelt cries, when so much had gone so wrong?

"Don't," Mirepurr's voice was soft as they called out to Forestshade, not possessing the strength (or desire) to talk louder, but unable to let the warrior berate Ferndance further. This isn't the point of this.

Some lashed out at each other, some called upon Chilledstar's mistakes- and Needledrift even wanted them to step down? Mirepurr finally raised their head so they could peer at her. Was that the right call? Could everything that went wrong be blamed on their leader? Surely not.

Their chest shifted as they heaved a big sigh, preparing to talk. "I agree with Frostbite and Scalejaw. We need to be nicer, kinder to each other. How can we possibly expect to rely on one another after insult upon insult? We're so much stronger together."

First Magpiepaw, then Starlingheart- the two cats appointed by none other than StarClan themselves spoke, and to Mirepurr, it felt like the air had gone rigid. Everybody was breaking.

"I think..." Mirepurr glanced at the ground again. "I think we shouldn't make hasty decisions now. Not in this state. Let's just regroup."

✧　°　.　✶　.　°　✧​

​

 

[SERPENTSPINE]

when he first approaches, he does not see his sibling, not at first — they are surrounded, flanked by cats all muttering and, in some cases, weeping. he pads alongside skunktail, bloodlet eyes zeroing in on scalejaw leaning on their slouching leader. as often it does, her behavior reminds him of a scavenger, lingering around the outskirts of a dying animal for first dibs. his pained smile fidgets down to a grimace ; chilledstar lays bare their heart and already, snapping at their heels. he gives his sibling a look as he settles, a whisker brow quirking. scalejaw played it up thick, he makes a note to ask just what the molly leaned and trilled against their ear, spinning songs of what they should do, insisting they she knew all along. it’s insulting. its pitiful, a blithe kick at their intelligence in a time of strife. chilledstar looks absolutely miserable and it’s for that reason that he approaches, sidles up along his sibling’s other side with heavy - lidded side - eye towards the lingering molly.

ferndance speaks and he gives a cold, sardonic look as she begins to rant, swaying around as though her kit had been swooped by a hawk before her very eyes. he pauses, lets the words linger in his skull — and once he ruminates on the childishness of it, he rips his lips back, ” are you suggesting we should have expected him to nab kittens from their birthplace, because he was icky? “ ferndance was more a problem than she was worth, and fiery eyes attempt to catch chilledstar’s on a silent are you serious? complaining now, it was embarrassing, ” we cannot expect this of every cat too nasty for your liking. he wouldn’t have gotten away with it for this long if he hadn’t been playing us like a kit with moss, and the gall — the audacity you have to cry and whine about betrayal, about your spot on their council. betrayal! to you! “ skunktail was right, chilledstar had been.. dormant, as of late. he’d never seen them so despondent, avoidant. they protected their heart with barbed wire, with the thorns of wilting roses, and needledrift approaches, never too far behind, ” they have a clan to run, mouths to feed. your mate says they act as if it’s a burden to care for our children, when here you stand with your belly fat and heavy with kits on the cusp of leafbare. now tell me, who continues placing these burdens? and who bore the burden of finding another lead when you were too silly — “ the word leaves his mouth like venom, sharp and angular on his tongue, righteous fury at his teeth. it sounds like a different word altogether, ” to represent our clan yourself? “ blame, it had to go somewhere.

his jaw clenches, unclenches on a long sigh, lifting his head and too - skinny neck, ” granitept was a born shadowclan warrior, a fantastic one, to the bare eye. he kept bellies full. he fought and slept alongside us. he.. had a family, kits. each of you and your told-you-so’s-, no matter how sweet, “ he glances at scalejaw, flicking the ivory tip of his tail against the ground, ” are an insult. “

it’s times like this, he wonders if it had been better if he and chilled had run away, all those moons ago. if they’d taken him from their parents and run, run away, never looking back and never sinking their claws into the marsh’s disruptive roots. those days were long gone, scars and memories greyed over with each passing day — they had sown their home here, and here was where they would rot, ” shadowclan will eat itself alive like this. we’ll waste away at each others throats, “ as much as he wants to sit and argue and bare his teeth at those unhelpful few, he refrains, only twitching his vaguely grinning lip. needledrift was crying and he felt not a shred of sympathy for her, the way she cradled around ferndance like a simpering child. distaste flashes in his star - bidden eyes, flicking a dismissive ear their way for the mere sake of dismissal. serpentgrin, instead, looks to chilledstar. though his tongue still burns with excuses and defense, he falters, just a bit ” skunktail.. is right. we are right here, but you must open up. as our leader, as our clanmate. so many of us look up to you, but we need to know we’re welcome here, after everything that’s happened. “ the pain of being a leader. he could never imagine it, even if he’d viewed chilled in pedestal light since his kithood. it crushed them, but they did it out of love — if only they could show it easier.

𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘 ☻ 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙊 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐

• i.
  
• 
  
  
• 
  
  SERPENTGRIN HE / HIM, YOUNG WARRIOR OF SHADOWCLAN. JAGGED xx SHADOW, YOUNGER BROTHER TO CHILLEDSTAR. 15 MOONS OLD, SMELLS LIKE PLANT ROT & MUD. PENNED BY ANTLERS.
  lanky black tom with ghost rosettes and blood orange eyes. starclan burns behind sunbeam eyes, and the jagged, too - toothed smile at his mouth that doesn’t quite connect. revered as a religious nut, raised with warped notions of their ancestors, serpentgrin plagued with a aura of strangeness. long, thin and eel - like, with a curved maw packed full of awkward, jutting teeth poised forever in a smile. he holds himself pristine, perhaps even overgroomed in the locust wing woven delicately in his thicket of obsidian fur. aching for martyrdom, he retains a strange fascination with suffering and sacrifice, none in short supply beyond the marsh borders of shadowclan.
  
  

​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

one thing they did expect was blame towards themself. they were willing to shoulder it, to take it on. it starts at the top. they may have been dealt a shifty hand when it came to leadership, but it was ultimately their fault that the clan was crumbling from under their paws. however... blame it turned elsewhere. things were getting out of control fast and cats were grumbling and growling towards each other and that... that was the problem here. instead of trying to find solutions, everyone was so quick to jump down each other's throat. snapping and hissing, claws ready for a fight and so damned defensive. had shadowclan been beaten so much that this was the only way they knew how to react? that this was the only thing they knew how to do?

with every word towards them, a bit of them breaks. they don't have that fiery anger within them, right now. not when it comes to themself. they couldn't defend themself against what they thought to be true. granitpelt was right about at least one thing and that was chilledstar. they twitched their tail, pushing it closer to them as they take the criticism, stomach rolling which each punch. lilacfur starts off. she says that chilledstar only ever showed that they cared when she was dying on her paws. but that's not true... I do care! i don't know how to show that! their inner voice protests, but they say nothing. an excuse, another voice reminds them.

then frostbite. lilacfur was right, he says. and that they don't take care of themself enough. overwork and somehow not confident. they aren't confident. how could they be? every thing they do is criticized. they can't make everyone happy. they want to, but they just can't. i thought i was done being a people pleaser. how is it so hard to not care what cats think about me? roosterstrut speaks afterwards, and his words make sense. they want a reliable leader. someone they all know they can trust without doubt that maybe one day... they don't quite know. chilledstar only dully looks at the warrior, agreeing in silence. then skunktail. he hardly holds back what he thinks and they can't blame him for his anger. chilledstar loves their clan but being its leader had worn on them. eaten away at them like a crow to liver, and they don't know how to express themself properly. they don't know how to tell their clan that they appreciate them. skunktail was right. leadership was a curse but the blessing was the clan under them– even if they didn't act like it.

and then ferndance begins to speak, and they nearly flinch at her words. they did mean to apologize for their choice of words, but she truly hadn't been lead warrior material. it was fun at first but she took the jokes too far. they should have held that meeting when they were more clear minded, in the first place, but they cannot take back what they've said. they can only apologize for the way it had happened. they aren't sorry for the demotion itself. and then she goes on to say that granitepelt was ... icky? talk about choice of words. chilledstar had no idea this was going to happen. how could they? granitepelt was a hard worker, there was hardly a moment that they could have believed him to be capable and somehow... they were supposed to know? like some prophet?

the fire is quick to be turned to her. the clan doesn't take too kindly to how ferndance speaks, and they watch in silence, as forestshade defends them. they don't feel as if they deserve that. to be defended. and yet it happens. the discussion is beginning to be derailed. and frostbite tries to bring it back after scorchedmoon. frostbite is the one with the most sense. they appreciate him more than he knows. he is a respectable cat. he is a cat that cats would gladly follow.

and then scalejaw. oh, she says something about the conversation they had and it makes them flinch. they don't list, she says. i did listen. but i can't demote someone off someone's general distrust when we have no evidence. and i can't predict the future! did being a leader mean they had to be a seer, too? she tries to be kinder, telling them to pick their chin up. they don't know if they can. they don't know how to do any of this, which is why they're here in the first place. what they don't expect, however, is magpiepaw. oh, they swear their heart breaks right then and there for how he speaks. he wants to go back to the mountains. he wants to leave. he wants to leave.

their paw reaches to their own face as tears fall down them– when did they start crying– and they wipe them off. they never wanted to be seen as weak but maybe being vulnerable was needed. maybe they needed to show that they did have more emotions that exploding anger and for the first time during the entire discussion, they speak up.

"little bird..."

the nickname comes out. they didn't know he felt this way and it hurts. it hurts worse than any insult they could have received. it almost hurts worse than feeling granitepelt's teeth in their neck. and needledrift's words don't help either. she says that they should step down. she brings up how they acted with mothpaw but that's not... they didn't mean for it to go that way. they were on edge, and cats undermining their authority made them angry. she should have approached them better, just as they should have reacted better. no apprentice was a burden to them.

they can't say anything because it just keeps going. starlingheart is breaking right in front of them, and mirepurr tries to redirect before serpentgrin speaks. damn it, they're crying again. they move gently to push their muzzle against their brother. they're sorry. they take in a deep breath before finally speaking.

"i'm sorry."

they start. there was so much to be said but it started with an apology.

"for taking this position for granted. for being so volatile, and not showing that i care enough. for snapping when you're just trying to help. for not listening. for not understanding. for everything. i... i know it's not gonna go away overnight but... i am sorry. and i understand every single concern."

they have to address it all. deep breath. head high. confidence, kit. you've got this.

"we are supposed to be relying on each other. not be at each other's throats. as much as i am at fault, you... you guys need to lean on each other more. and stop blaming me or anyone for that matter for not knowing about granitepelt. none of us could have known that he had done such things. you may be hurt by his betrayal, but what of starlingheart? and her kits? they are hurting more. we should be taking this time to heal together but instead you all are fighting like kittens over a moss ball. I can understand your anger towards me and your distrust. but turn it outward. turn it towards sootstar. granitepelt. siltcloud. all the clans that have forsaken and attacked shadowclan at its lowest... we only have each other."

they breathed out a heavy sigh, pain wracking their entire body.

"i can admit my wrongs. but can you all? can you realize that I'm not the only one making shadowclan this way? can you all promise to be try and better, as i am? or will you continue to argue and berate each other? because if that's all you're going to do, then you don't need to be in any clan, let alone shadowclan. clans need unity and we aren't meeting that mark."
​

 

[smogstar]

A whispering scepticism prods Smogmaw into presuming this entire pretence has arrived well past its critical moment. ShadowClan's air has long been suffused by this thick, humid dread all throughout the deputy's recallable memory. A dread so potent it freely fractures bonds among clanmates, and crushes any vestiges of joy with little reluctance. All that lingers is a gnawing cynicism and a dismissive disaffection which becomes little more than a coping mechanism for surviving the misery everyone has enraptured themselves in. He's intimately familiar with it himself. Thus, airing out these chronic grievances, smoothing over these old wounds, reconciles only at the cost of aggravating new ones.

Yet, it's a beginning, it's an attempt at a start. Credit where credit is due. Chilledstar's predecessors certainly haven't tried such an intervention. Setting it against the backdrop of their recent grim happenings may even have merit. The wedge between the clan and its self-inflicted fatalism is ever feeble, perhaps more so following Granitepelt and Siltcloud's exile, but if there is any force capable of widening it, it's shared trust and mutual understanding. From a duty-oriented standpoint, not a personal one, does he fathom this.

Dark-smirched limbs stand stock still at an awkward tilt. At the merest whisker-twitch had animosity erupted among the cats gathered in camp, fangs sooner turned to one another's throats than engage in civil discussion. It's terminal at this point, isn't it? Smogmaw swallows, the salivating bile building in the back of his gullet parches.

His gaze wanders to those who stood upon the firmest footing. Frostbite carried a tune that harmonised responsibility and insight in equal measure, and one echoed by Sharpshadow, Mirepurr, and Roosterstrut. It's a voice of reason juxtaposed against reflexive accusations towards Chilledstar, towards Ferndance, and towards the clan as a collective.

Glazed over with unsolicited detachment, amber eyes rest on Magpiepaw longer than need be. The wiggly apprentice's words should stoke some passionate response of some variety—denouncing the clan itself and longing to be apart from it, it aligns with the logic that prevented Honeyjaw from returning home. Yet, on what grounds would Smogmaw have for resentment? The evidence for his frustrations is palpable and unfolding in this very moment.

Inwardly, he wishes to sidestep this discussion altogether. Consumed by the compulsive upkeep of how he is perceived and the image he holds, Smogmaw fears those condemnatory eyes turning his way should he interject himself. He could choose inaction and stand to benefit from Chilledstar's barefaced character assassination. Or, he can elect to participate, attempt to untangle this tightening knot (as a deputy ought to), and risk drawing scrutiny onto himself. The decision does not come easy.

Pawsteps plod along the winter-kissed mud and bring the ashen tom to his leader's flank, where he opts to settle. Unalike the kindred approach undertaken by Scalejaw. He sits beside his leader as a show of allegiance, not to themselves, but to ShadowClan as an entity. "If we are to establish one thing," he puts to voice, maintaining as stalwart a tone as he can muster, "then let it be what Frostbite has said." An affirming nod is extended in his direction. "If we do not support one another, then no one will. Our territory is the smallest, and yet it is the most unforgiving. We've less prey to go 'round than the other clans, the conditions we suffer under are beyond bleak, and enemy claws threaten us in our own camp. These are realities that we all face, but it's clear that, as we stand right now, we are not willing to face them together."

From here, a subtle apprehension finds the deputy, prompting him to assess the reaction from the clan as a whole. Will a personal anecdote add something, or will it provide a catalyst for discourse that spirals out of paw? Scrunching his muzzle, he finds his voice a second time, and his posture held firm all the while. "Is it the lack of food that has turned some of us into vultures? We pick at one another without care, and circle overhead for weak spots to feast upon. Frankly-"

Here, the tom glances towards Skunktail, a tautness twitching within. "-Frankly, the flagrant disrespect shown towards ShadowClan's queens is something I find utterly repulsive. Degrading them - for any reason at all - is not a pragmatic stance, it is a disgusting one. Look inward and assess the type of cat you are for behaving so lowly." A huff-like exhale punctuates his reproachful reprimand, wherein he seeks to offer Ferndance a pitiful flit of the eyes. Forestshade, too. The right to critique parenting practices does not extend to those who have never had the experience. When animosity reaches even the clan's most vulnerable, it reveals the depths of the toxicity brewing at its core.

"Here, we stand on the cusp of yet another Leaf-bare. I need not reiterate how terrible the last one was. The difference is, we will weather this season better, supposing we cooperate as one." His head pivots as though on a pendulum, casting sharp regards across everyone in proximity before settling upon Chilledstar with the narrowest squint of the eyes. "That starts with you. Trust in your warriors, Chilledstar. Their grievances are founded on valid concerns. Even if you disagree, they're directed towards you, because they look to you for guidance. Listen, engage with them." He doesn't allow an ample interval for those words to fully steep in, lest doubt corrode the effectiveness of them. "Trust in your council. Allow us to advise you, allow us to confide in you. Just-" his shoulders lilt, "-trust us as we do you. As we ought to trust one another. As ShadowClan ought to as a clan."

It is beyond his ability to contest them reassigning the blame thrust upon their shoulders. For Chilledstar is right, it is remarkably easy to lay all a clan's faults on the leader's paws. However, for all Chilledstar has the right, so does Smogmaw in correcting them of the notion: a clan's faults are a burden shared, and it is a leader's duty to help bear that weight. ​