private kill you with a smile, now you're bleeding out your feelings // lilac & kits

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

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siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

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Not for the first time, Siltcloud finds herself and her litter approaching shadowclans border. Starclan is truly punishing her, she thinks - how else could they have passed by so often, and yet still seen no sign of Lilacfur? As the acrid scent of the thunderpath burns her nose, at last the woman comes to a halt - head turning to look down at her kits. " Sycamorekit.... Marblekit... you know the drill. Stay here - don't make a peep, don't move, nothing- " words are sharp and waspish, leaving no room to argue despite her lifeless tone. " The thunderpath is dangerous... and Shadowclan isn't all that safe either, " she mutters - not that it's anything she hasn't said before, as time and again they wait with nothing to show for their efforts save for the occasional scrap of carrion she manages to wrestle away to feed them - flattened monster kill is better than no kill at least.

Tongue rasps against each of her children in turn as she settles them to hide in the thicket that edges the path, a faint purr rumbling in her chest despite the pain. The more time passes, the more she's certain of it - whitecough, it must be. It's far to different from the yellowcough plague that had swept through the clan, had nearly taken Lilacfur with it. But the knowledge of the symptoms is there, familiar from days spent cleaning out dens for the sick as an apprentice, even if she has not a single idea how she's supposed to fix it.

She will simply have to pray that it fixes itself, just as every other rogue and loner that roam the lands - helpless and afraid. Maybe it never will - or maybe, it'll be the hunger that takes her in the end. Already, she can feel tired bones creak and ache with every movement, muscle all but withering away until already skeletal figure has grown gaunt and angular.

But she refuses to let her kits - their kits - share such a fate.

Paws step swiftly across hard black ground, keen ears alerting her to the lack of roaring beasts headed her way. She pauses only for a moment upon reaching the other side - green eyes flicking towards where she knows her little ones lie in wait - before darting into the thicket. Here, within the all to familiar marshland muck, is where she will wait. But for once, it seems the stars are on her side - it does not take long for paw steps to reach her ears, and though she is on high alert it's that all to familiar and soothing scent that steels her nerves, keeps her from fleeing like she has every other time. " Lilac, " she breathes, voice a shuddering rasp and ears drawn back in sheer relief.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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[lilacfur]

It's hard to shake the feeling of being watched, knowing the cats that betrayed her Clan were still out there. Still taking in air and capable of inflicting their evil onto her Clan over and over again. Where a pause in Siltcloud's vicious agression had given relief, it didn't last long before her brother crept right behind to continue where she left off. Reminding them he still roamed the same lands as they had. That he still held so much hate for them.

Chilledstar and the council had made their decision firm and final that no one was to leave camp alone, while Lilacfur held breath in her lungs she would follow the rules of her Clan honorably. The rest of her hunting patrol is not far behind as she tried to follow the scent of a thrush, beginning to grow doubtful she may actually find it as she neared the Thunderpath. Prey did not often survive crossing it, and if so it was ThunderClan's now. Still, she wouldn't know for sure for a few more paces across the barren wetlands.

It's then, that moment, she felt eyes on her again. Her fur bristled from head to tail as it fluffed up in size and the ringing in her ears almost drowned out the molly's weak whisper.

Lilacfur whipped around to face her, her claws sheathed but her eyes wild with anger. "You don't ever say my name. What are you doing here? You look like a frog spit you up." She's more harsher than she wanted to be, even in her seething she felt like her words were too unkind for a murderer and it's clear from the way she kept her maw open, as if to apologize before promptly shutting it. Waiting for Siltcloud's answer. ​

[ i need the clouds to cover me ]​

 

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

---

siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

---

Her blind relief at the pale furred felines appearance is met with animosity - venom spat in her direction before she can so much as blink. Siltcloud doesn't care - she'd known the very day she'd come crashing into camp with crocodile tears dripping down dust hued cheeks and lies dripping of her tongue that lilacfur and her would never be the same, that once the truth came out she'd be met with only hate and pain. Of course, she has no idea that her vengence has claimed a life - that shadowclan now knows her for the murderer she has long been in secret. But still, the sound of her voice is enough to have her shrink in upon herself, dropping low to the ground - its a good thing, she thinks, she'd left the kits so far away. They do not need to see this - to know this side of their mother, of either of their mothers.

" Please... " comes tattered voice, heaved out through fluid filled lungs. Eyes are wide, dilated - for once, fear and affection so clearly displayed upon once emotionless features as emotions churn and war with one another within her chest. " Please - I just... need you to listen - just... just hear me out, " she begs, and it's pathetic. She has never felt lower, never felt more desperate - not even when she and loampelt had coiled into a tangle of sobbing limbs in the tunnels, or when she'd woken the camp with half-delirious screams upon waking to his cold body at her side. She's back to being that stammering, stuttering mess of a girl she used to be, and she hates it.

But it doesn't matter - no, as cruel and broken a monster as she may be, she'd still do it a hundred, no, a thousand times over if it meant her kits would be safe. She'd made a promise to the stars upon their birth, and she has no intention of backing down now. " Lilacfur I- the twolegplace... theres nothing but thunderpaths ......and twolegs and cold and- and death, " she breathes, each word slipping past her lips faster than the last. " I tried - I tried, I swear I tired - there's..... no food, and my milk stopped coming and I -, " cough splutters past her lips in her panic, and for a moment she nearly forgets how to breathe. " Lilacfur - we had kits. Your kits - our kits... I can't - I can't do this - I tried, I'm sorry I tried - I've already lost two and I can't - please, "

Limbs give way beneath her frame, but the mess of a she-cat doesn't even bother to right herself. Instead she just lays there pathetically in the dirt, tears finally dripping down her cheeks. " I know... what I've done but... It's not their fault - they're just kits - please, please you have to take them.... I can't... I can't, " she's not sure she's even made sense, not sure lilacfur will even understand what she's asking, but in the end its all just to much. Marblekit and Sycamorekit have become her whole life, her purpose - and now, she's giving them away. It hardly matters that its wht's goodor right or safe - it hurts more than she thought it would.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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[lilacfur]

Lilacfur swallowed thickly as she watched, carefully, how Siltcloud quickly pushed herself to the ground. She's on guard in case this is some trick, ready to call for the rest of the patrol to help chase her away but the traitor doesn't spring at her in attack. Instead she begs, and pleads and at first Lilacfur is confused at what Siltcloud could possibly think she would get from this.

Did she want forgiveness, after all she had done? Food, after she left her homes already scarce prey mutilated and inedible? Safety, after she made it clear ShadowClan would never be safe with her and her brother still alive? Silently, the rosette stood, keeping her eyes on her like a hawk as she listened. About Twolegplace, about how horrible it was to live (it was hardly such, in her opinion). There's one thing Siltcloud says thats out of place- Milk dried up? The fur between her eyes knit together as she carried on.

Their kits.

The crease of tension and anger in her face softened but only for a moment. This must be some trick. She couldn't fall for it so easily. "You've put on a grand performance once again, Siltcloud. Get up, if you're telling the truth, I'll sit on this side of the Thunderpath and you'll show them to me from the other side." She would not be caught off guard so easily, she wouldn't take any risk. ​

[ i need the clouds to cover me ]​

 

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

---

siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

---

Lilacfur is skeptical - though really, rightly so. Neither of them had meant for this to happen - stars, they hadn't even been properly mates. Stick figure limbs haul herself back upright, but she ignores that trembling that won't leave. A shuddering breath as paws work to wipe away tears - she cares little for how Lilacfur views her, they're already seen the worst of eachother after all, but she doesn't wish her kittens to see her as anything but strong.

They have so little to rely on, to trust - she cannot bear to take another thing from them? Eyes spark violently for a moment at the thought Lilacfur might not be the softheart she'd thought - but she sees that momentary lack of anger and it's enough. There is little she can do from across the thunderpath anyways - if this is a trap, if Lilacfur is only lowering her guard to buy time for others to arrive and kill her... well, they'll be long gone before shadowclan paws can even touch the thunderpath.

" Sure... " she says, head bobbing - ears pricked and eyes scanning the blackened ground, she moves only once she confident in the lack of roaring monsters - paws carrying her swiftly despite her weariness. Head vanishes into the undergrowth,, green eyes settling upon her kits - their kits, she supposes. They won't be hers for much longer. " You're other mommy's here - you can come out now, " she says, voice warm with affection. " We're going to sit over here for a moment, where Lilacfur can see you safely, away from the monsters, " As long as they are not stupid enough to try to cross the thunderpath they have been warned so many times about since their days in twolegplace streets, she sees no need to be harsh - no need to worry them.

Certainly, Lilacfur will take them in. They will no longer have to starve, and she will no longer have to worry about them catching her sick. Things will be better soon.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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@Sycamorekit! @marblekit

 

[Sycamorepaw!]

[ ༻ 𐃉 ༺ ] They had been told to stay put, to wait and to stay hidden. Sycamorekit's fur brushed against Marblekits, the small silver trinket he had continously hoisted with him with each bordering visit. It had become a routine daily until finally now. Today was like the others, instructed to stay put, to stay hidden and so they did yet it did not stop Sycamorekit to peer from the hiding spot, green gaze on the strange cat talking to their mother, confusion as they watch what happened. Yet, eventually Siltcloud returned, telling them it was okay to come out.

Sycamorekit pushed out of the hiding spot while moving closer to Siltcloud, green eyes wide while his gift was settled in his maw. His tiny tail waving slightly as he finally got a better glimpse of her, of Lilacfur his other momma and his eyes lightened up a bit. He wanted to go over, to greet Lilacfur yet Sycamorekit stayed put despite the excitement that rolled though his tired, cold body.

Quickly he set down his gift and looked over at his sister "Its her Marblekit! Its our other momma!" he said softly before glancing up at Siltcloud with the same eagerness he had shown through his own voice. Unaware of his mom's plans, unaware that this could be his last time seeing her ever again.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── So breakable unbreakable ──┐‎

• 
  "speak""Thoughts"
  
• 
  Sycamorekit 𐃉 He,She, They, rouge kitten , 1 moons.
  ⭃ LH Rosetted Cinnamon Tabby with low white and green eyes, has an extra set of toes
  ⭃ Lilacfur x Siltcloud
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by Ryn ↛ @/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[MARBLEPAW]

She's so cold. She's so tired. Her paws twitch with pain every time she pushes herself upright, but lying on the forest floor is unpleasant. She cannot see through the undergrowth that seems to pulse with life around them. She can scent things, but they aren't things she recognizes, not at all—her nose squishes up around her face as she turns to look at her littermate. "Stinks here," she mutters. She recognizes the lulling roar of the Thunderpath, and that brings her a sliver of comfort, ironically enough. She begins to drift off to sleep until the thickets part and Siltcloud's dull green gaze shines upon them.

"Your other mommy's here," she says, and Sycamorekit perks up immediately. Marblekit regards her mother with shineless eyes. She wants to tuck herself into the crook of Siltcloud's skinny body and fall asleep. She wants milk, and the warmth of fur against her face, not some other mommy. But she does not protest; there's not enough strength in her spindly little body to protest.

She steps unsteadily toward the clearing, blinking blearily at the pale figure sitting across the Thunderpath. Sycamorekit is excited, but Marblekit's fur puffs out warily. "Oh,"" she mutters, uncertain. "She's got food?" That's all that matters to her right now—even as she utters this, her belly cramps painfully, sprinkling her eyes with fresh tears.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 1 moon old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — rogue kit. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. bossy, brazen, outgoing, conniving, mischievous, skeptical, spiteful.
  
  

​

 

[lilacfur]

Amber sights are trained on the gaunt form of the cinnamon she-cat, half expecting her to flee from the confrontation. Siltcloud disappeared for only a moment before she returned with two scraps that could hardly weigh more than a mouse. The steel that wrapped her heart cracked as she saw them toddle after their mother. Skeletal, barely kits at all if it weren't for the fact they could still move and breathe.

"It's her Marblekit! It's our other momma!"

There's no question regarding if they're even hers as she watched one with her own spots announced his cheer. The she-kit, he called her Marblekit, didn't appear as enthused.

Lilacfur looked between them and Siltcloud, wondering what she's told them. How much she's told them. Nothing, most likely, selfishly, because what mother would ever tell such young minds that they loved a murderer. No, that burden would be placed on their other momma to tell them now.

"I'll help you cross with them." Her voice remained steady as she shouted over the Thunderpath to be heard. She held her breath as a monster roared past them and exhaled as it sped off, a cloud of smoke and gravel trailing behind. She crawled over the spongey cement to reach them. She peered down at the pair as if she was still in disbelief.

She could see so much of herself and Siltcloud in both of them. The tom matching her swirling, rosetted plush fur while carrying the same beautiful cinnamon coat. Marblekit might as well be a reflection of Siltcloud but she could see some of her in their shared round eyes and bristly pelt.

"Hello." Lilacfur greeted, maybe too formally. "I'm taking you two to ShadowClan, okay? We'll get you some food and my sister can make sure you're both healthy." Chilledstar was going to kill her. Bringing more mouths into the Clan like this.

I'll have to focus more on Caterpillarpaw's hunting, for the both of them.

Finally she looked to Siltcloud again. "I can handle both of them once they've reached the other side... It's safer you don't stick around after that." ​

[ i need the clouds to cover me ]​

 

[✧ Siltcloud.]

ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
COULDN'T UNDO ALL THE DAMAGE I DID​

---

siltcloud ♕ 21 moons ♖ female ♘ she/her ♙ shadowclan exile ​

---

Her kits wriggle and fuss about eager to meet lilacfur - but siltcloud pays them no mind. Green eyes are focused on sleek silver figure, staring into gold orbs as though to say 'See? I told you so,'

She is... proud of her kits. Of their kits. Of marblekit who looks like her in the best of ways, who is far prettier and full of life than siltcloud ever remembers being. Of sycamorekit, such a perfect blend of them that sometimes she can't even look at him - cinnamon fur and leopard spots and lilacfurs coat her siltclouds eyes. Reminders of a bitter and painful past that ahunts her - and yet, they are made up of all that burning, fleeting good. Of days spent conversing through ivy covered walls, of training in sandy hallows - of the pride Siltkit had felt as the clan had listened to her for the first time. She'd left her mark upon shadowclan in so many ways - in landmarks and bodies and graves... and now in them.

" This is our daughter Marblekit, and our son Sycamorekit, " she says, but it's pointless - Lilacfur seem eager to rush things along... and siltcloud cannot blame her. A stiff nod is all she gives, teeth grasping scyamorekits scruff as she hauls him across the path on careful paws. The moment they're on the other side she sets him free - she's always liked to give them what little independence she can manage.

Smile is bittersweet as she crouches down to blink at her two children, mind doing it's best not to wander to the fact there should be four of them. " You two need to go with Lilacfur now okay? You know how she was busy, so it was only us? Well.. it's... it's her turn with you for now.... I'll be back in a little while, when theres more prey to fill our bellies okay? " its a lie and she knows it - stars, lilacfur probably knows it, can hear it in the quiver of her voice and see it in the way claws sink into the earth anxiously. " Be good - don't make a fuss or go breaking any rules okay? " she says, and though she wants to cry she refuses to let more tears fall. She's been weak enough today - and they don't need to see such a sight.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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I F - I - C A N ' T - B E - Y O U R - H E R O , ━ I ' L L - B E - Y O U R - V I L L A I N

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[MARBLEPAW]

The pale spotted she-cat with the spotted pelt crosses the Thunderpath. She does not look as excited as Sycamorekit does—her yellow eyes are veiled, unreadable. Marblekit recoils as the other mother bends down to sniff at their fur. Her own sundried moss-scrap eyes blow wide at her words. I’m taking you two to ShadowClan, okay? “You are?” She turns to look questioningly at Siltcloud, but she’s filling her jaws with Sycamorekit’s scruff, and then Lilacfur’s teeth are in Marblekit’s. She protests weakly with a single, drawn-out mewl. She does not like being carried, not even by the mother she actually knows.

She bumps unceremoniously against Lilacfur’s chin and chest. The Thunderpath stinks, but she’s anxious to leave its comfort. Once they’ve crossed it, she’s being lowered to ground that feels soft and strange under her paws. Squishy. She lifts one paw, then the other, staring in surprise at the muck that coats her pads. “Don’t like it here,” she mutters.

Alarm blows her eyes wide as Siltcloud bends to touch her nose to her and her littermate’s faces. “I don’t wanna go with her,” she cries. “Where are you gonna go?” Marblekit’s fur begins to puff out from her body, and it remains this way long after Lilacfur begins to usher them away from Siltcloud.

She can hear the shatter in her mother’s voice, and it causes the tears to stream from her eyes, too. “Mama, please, don’t go!” She doesn’t know it’s futile—that Siltcloud had made up her mind long before they’d stepped paw in the mire. She doesn’t know how different her life is going to be from here on out.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 1 moon old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan kit, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. bossy, brazen, outgoing, conniving, mischievous, skeptical, spiteful.
  
  

​