- Jul 10, 2022
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The hurt in his voice, the agony- he was reliving something that Hyacinthbreath had no knowledge of, but she knew it when she heard it- Leechpaw had lost his trust in her, if he ever had any in the first place. Hyacinth had hurt someone she cared about, and she knew it would only repeat once more eventually. Eventually, eventually- everyone would leave her, and she would be stuck alone in the rain once again, mourning people who were long gone. After that incident, Hyacinth had avoided the dark-furred tom and let her thoughts consume her.
She can't do anything right. She can't do anything right. Part of her wonders if she's worthy to be in her position, if she does more damage than good. What was hyacinth, if not a monster who ruined everything she touched?
Staring at herself in the reflection of a small puddle of water, Hyacinth sees the shift as it ripples. Her portrait is blurred, taken over by the deadly violet hues- a monster in creation. Hyacinth shuts her eyes tightly, shaking her head aggressively. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't keep hurting people, destroying those she cared about. She wanted to be better, she wanted to be so much better. Her family didn't deserve her twistedness, her Clan didn't deserve her own disgusting face around. She was a constant reminder of everything that had gone wrong. Her breaths grow uneven, and Hyacinthbreath makes her way over to Tallrock to where Sootstar sits, watching everyone pass by with her usual stoic expression.
She's haunted, haunted- expression twisted in agony. This was unlike her, to break like this- Hyacinth was Unbreakable, Unbent in her ways. She was supposed to be Sootstar's most trusted of warriors, most faithful; but what was she, when that was all gone? A broken woman who ached to be something more than Nothing. "My Queen," A wheeze of a breath, barely able to resist the urge to cry. She looks pitiful, and she knew it would incur the fury of their Queen, their Goddess. When she was Nothing, who made her Something? Sootstar did. She was everything. She was-
"I can't do this anymore, my Queen. I'm not worthy, I'm not-" She eyes the woman desperately, as if seeking for a reason to carry on. Sootstar always had the answers, always had everything under control. When Hyacinth didn't know what to do with herself, when she was Nobody once more, Sootstar was her guiding star. But she knew, a weak Lead Warrior with no purpose didn't deserve their position. "I don't- I don't want.. I don't want to be a Lead Warrior if I do not deserve it. I'm weak to temptation, to emotions I don't understand- I don't want this position anymore. I can't.."
She had prepared herself for this; the loss of the scar she was proud of. It would become mangled into something else, and she deserved it. Nobody was Nobody, and she was Nothing. She's crumbling, crumbling- stoic and cold exterior melting from the heat of her own emotions. They're so intense it's hard to shove them down, hard to ignore. This wasn't her, she wasn't- You're a fool, Hyacinth. Aren't they stupid?
// feel free to reply after Sootstar does!
@SOOTSTAR
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