STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 07 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff
periwinklepaw | 07 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff
Last night ahd simply been... to much. Much to much. He's just so tired, every step sending him wobbling, eyes unfocused and vision blurry - tear tracks dried into his fur from the night before. Head bobs and dips with a mind of its own as he sits beside the medicine den - uncertain he'll be welcome after all that has happened. Dandelionwish had not even spared a simple goodbye, and vulturemask has patients to care for - there is no room for him left in their den, no place for such a useless outcast. A failure.
There must be something wrong with me. It is a thought he visits often, ever since childhood. His words do not come out right, sometimes don't come out at all. He is useless at battle - just the thought of hurting another sends him spiraling beneath waves of panic, the sight and scent of blood dizzying, sickening enough to leave him heaving. He cannot sleep no matter how hard he tries - and he tries, laying still and breathing deep and even. Nothing works - nothing helps. There is no cure-all herb for this - he's tried them all he thinks, every last bitter tasting scrap of herb that Dandelionwish thought might have ben the answer. They'd never found it - and now he was gone. They're all gone he thinks blearily, bitterly, mournfully.
Perhaps he should've left with them - perhaps he should've said something, done something. Anything. But what use would that have been? Why didn't his clanmates see it - arguing with sootstar, arguing with windclan's ideals, it was useless. Bitter bile fills his mouth as his stomach roll - just the thought of being one of those chased into exile leaving him ll. He'd long ago given up hope, long ago stopped entertaining such thoughts. His only wish was to live - to survive, to stay here - with dustpaw, with vulturemask, with aspenpaw, with sunflowerkit and dreamkit and- and-
He never gets to finish his thought, for he topples right on over, head dipping down one last time as eyes shutter closed. Steady breathing wracks his pale frame, the only sign that he hasn't simply keeled over then and there. He will remembered none of this.
// dudes running on day 4 of no sleep and finally passed out, otherwise he's fine just suffering from prolonged insomnia and the exhaustion that comes with it;; as usual ya'll have perms for everything from healing to casual to minor injury powerplay, but he won't be waking up in this thread
There must be something wrong with me. It is a thought he visits often, ever since childhood. His words do not come out right, sometimes don't come out at all. He is useless at battle - just the thought of hurting another sends him spiraling beneath waves of panic, the sight and scent of blood dizzying, sickening enough to leave him heaving. He cannot sleep no matter how hard he tries - and he tries, laying still and breathing deep and even. Nothing works - nothing helps. There is no cure-all herb for this - he's tried them all he thinks, every last bitter tasting scrap of herb that Dandelionwish thought might have ben the answer. They'd never found it - and now he was gone. They're all gone he thinks blearily, bitterly, mournfully.
Perhaps he should've left with them - perhaps he should've said something, done something. Anything. But what use would that have been? Why didn't his clanmates see it - arguing with sootstar, arguing with windclan's ideals, it was useless. Bitter bile fills his mouth as his stomach roll - just the thought of being one of those chased into exile leaving him ll. He'd long ago given up hope, long ago stopped entertaining such thoughts. His only wish was to live - to survive, to stay here - with dustpaw, with vulturemask, with aspenpaw, with sunflowerkit and dreamkit and- and-
He never gets to finish his thought, for he topples right on over, head dipping down one last time as eyes shutter closed. Steady breathing wracks his pale frame, the only sign that he hasn't simply keeled over then and there. He will remembered none of this.
// dudes running on day 4 of no sleep and finally passed out, otherwise he's fine just suffering from prolonged insomnia and the exhaustion that comes with it;; as usual ya'll have perms for everything from healing to casual to minor injury powerplay, but he won't be waking up in this thread
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