CAN'T CHANGE FATE [ periwinklepaw ]

[SNAILSTRIDE]

WindClan was a mess. They hated to draw that conclusion about their beautiful home full of beautiful cats, but events of days prior had opened their eyes to more problems they'd done their best to ignore. One incident of clanmates acting like monsters was a fluke, two times was a warning, their heart had not stopped pounding viciously out of anxiety for the third time. They were not a typical WindClanner, their fur was long, their attitude was liberal, and they smiled at enemies and offered little to the clan's upkeep, what if they turned on him next? Snailpaw desired to spend less and less time in camp, finding it to be bogged down with a misery they didn't want to address, with today's guards having teeth like a tiger's, the tabby had no interest in testing their luck at sneaking out. With an unusual twitchiness, they scanned for threats and friends alike, their fur caught in a near-permanent bristle as it lingered over those who'd been so willing to kill their peers. They missed the innocence of the nursery sorely. Sapphire eyes eventually catch Periwinkle by the medicine den, and without stopping to think, they bound over, grateful for a distraction from their surroundings.

They hopped to a halt, offered a mock bow, and mewed in a fatigued drawl afterwards. "Heeeeey buddy." He wanted to talk to them about everything, learn their opinions, and share his own like he'd done with the apprentices last moon. For once, Snailpaw held their tongue. It would be an unspoken cloud looming above them, never disappearing but fearing that they'd unleash its storm if they sang their rebellious song. Perhaps it would be best to let the worst come and go instead of fretting over it for moons, but that required a bravery that the marbled tabby had never possessed. He offered a weak smile, falling back on his haunches next to Periwinklepaw and trying their damnedest to ignore the stale copper tang that still lingered in the air... another reminder that things would never be the same. Their head briefly lurches forward as if about to gag at the smell, but they catch themself last minute, instead offering a lopsided grin towards the smoke. Now more than ever, their personality needed to be malleable, depending on who they were speaking to and what that animal needed. Snailpaw presumed that Peri needed a hug and a long, long nap, unable to offer either to them at this time, the tabby decided that kind words would have to do.

"I heard about your little fall the other day, you alright? No one gave you a hard time for it or anything?" 'Head sickness', that was what the others had called random bouts of sleepiness. It seemed different with Peri though, they'd never seen the other pass out in quite the same way that he or Coalfoot had. He tilted his head at an impossible angle, listening attentively for an answer from the younger apprentice.

@Periwinklebreeze.
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[Periwinklebreeze.]

STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 07 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

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It is more than apparent that they are falling apart these days. Starclan intervening often these days - it has to mean something, likely something big. But the boy does not know what - how can he possibly know? His body is heavy despite the days of uninterrupted sleep, belly aching and rolling despite the fact he'd even been allowed prey in light of his 'illness' (though really, he thinks yet again, he's just broken). And just maybe, he'll never be fixed.

Pale perwinkle eyes are soft and sad, clear gaze more mournful than they have ever been save for the day of his brothers death. He feels almost as keen a sense of loss after all - not of life, but of safety and friendship. Even if dandy were to show up at the gathering, having survived his wounds, he thinks he would turn away. He cannot watch anyone else he cares for get hurt - cannot handle being killed himself for being a traitor, or worse... exiled. Wandering lost and alone and cold with no starclan to guide his paws, only the bare minimum of training to protect themselves from every predator and grudge carrying rogue wandering about. It's a terrifying thought.

Drawn from his musings by a simple voice, words sounding just as tired as his own, and blue gaze meet blue with a gentleness that a few days before he probably wouldn't have been able to muster. not before he'd realized that they shared a lot more commonalities than he'd thought. "H-h-hey," he says quietly, words soft and gentle. "... no. It's n-n-not the first t-t-time it's happ-ened," He'd seen more confusion and concerned looks than anything, though perhaps it would've hurt less had there been glares and words of worry thrown into the mix. But there is no moonshadow to panic no hyacinthbreath to comfort, no wisteriapaw to accuse and to blame him for things he cannot control.

There is only him.

... well, not only him, he supposes - that would be a bit too dramatic. Pale gaze averts for a moment, trailing over the camp and leaving him feeling unsettled and uneasy - ill almost, but not in... quite the same way as before. "d-d-do you want to g-g-g-g-go-o for a wal-k?" he says suddenly, impulsively. He needs to leave - needs to escape this clearing full of so many awful memories.

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[SNAILSTRIDE]

Eyes briefly widen at the revelation that Periwinklepaw had fallen before, before drooping with an exhausted sympathy for the other. It seemed that despite the perfect front they put up for the other groups, WindClan was ripe with those that struggled to meet the authority's harsh expectations. Life was becoming a lonelier and lonelier thing as the camp thinned out, their friendships tested due to a mixture of surface-level niceties and differences in perspectives, but in that brief moment, it was nice to know that they were not the only one who had to work through something hard. Was it selfish? They couldn't say, they hadn't even had the chance to ponder the moral conundrum with Coalfoot before he was savagely attacked in his own home for misconduct. The tabby thanked the Stars they were not there to witness that horrific event. "Well, lemme know if anyone gives you trouble for it, alright? I'm the master of distraction, by the time I'm finished talking to them, they won't even know they had an issue with you[!" Snailpaw promised the younger apprentice, lurching their head back to reveal their full height. Their stature was not as impressive as their parents had promised it would be, then again, not much was.

A change in tune causes the older apprentice to blink rapidly. Confusion quickly turned to relief as they released the breath they'd been holding onto for a bit too long. "Sure! Let's go! Right now!" Almost too eagerly, Snailpaw answers Peri's question and bounces on his paws like a spring rabbit. Stars, how he longed to run right out of the camp and taste air that was not riddled with the promise of death. They hop around Periwinklepaw as they wait for the other to begin moving, falling into an erratic pace to stay by his side once they begin to flee from the place of shared nightmares. "Anywhere in particular you wanna go? The choice is yours, oh yes it is! Personally I'm a fan of the horseplace at a time like this but maaaaybe that's a bit too far away. There's also a few old abandoned setts that make great hideout spots or maybe the gorge or- wait wait wait." Their nervousness had gotten the better of them, causing them to talk with an exaggerated optimism that seldom seemed appropriate after what had been promised. Slate-coloured ears tilt back apologetically. "Sorry, I shouldn't try and influence you. I'll keep my maw shut..."

It did not take more than a second for said mouth to open again. They needed a diversion from the heavy air that hung in camp, and with how spaced out Periwinkle had been moments prior, it appeared they needed one as well. The so-called 'master of distraction' could not afford to keep quiet when silence meant a reminder of how fragile things had become. "Unless you wanna talk about something else other than potential destinations."




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[Periwinklebreeze.]

STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 08 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

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He nods stiffly, awkwardly - it's odd, he thinks, having so many people care about him. He's used to the mocking words and distrust these days... not kindness. He could only rely on his family and dandelionwish for so long - now things are so different. It's strange.

It only takes a matter of moments before the other boy agrees to his suggestion, and periwinklepaw notably sags in relief. He is to tired to hide his emotions today - what does it matter? Most of the clan views him as the child and friend of traitors anyways, nothing he can or will do changes that. As they slip out from camp in the aftermath of the chaos, Snailpaw seems happy to chat away - talking about a mile a minute. Its comforting somehow, a faint smile slipping onto the boys darkened face. "Th-that sound f-fine to me," he agrees easily, words spoken warmly in his usual soft tone.

"... don't worry," he adds after a moment, head tipping back to stare at the sky overhead. "i don't mind," so hat if he influences him? it'd be a nice change perhaps - to be so freely yourself even with the weight of the world crashing down upon you. To be so free with your thoughts and words. ...unless you wanna talk about something else other than potential destinations..

Ah.

Was he that transparent? That certainly doesn't bode well for the future. His easygoing smile turns wry, eyes pained. "... every-thing's g-g-g-gone wron-g, hasn't it-?" he says, paws coming to a sudden halt. He hadn't mean to say that had he? He blames it on the lack of sleep... and the stress. Yes, that's got to be it.

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