private the voices are loud // snailstride

[Periwinklebreeze.]

STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 09 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

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Another moon another battle - will the violence ever end? What should have been happy news is easily overshadowed by fear and panic - and as the clan scatters he finds soot sipped paws bringing him over to the old tom before he even makes up his mind. Clear blue gaze is trouble but not lacking in warmth as he peers at Snailstride - another of his friends becoming a warrior before him. A bittersweet moment, but he cannot be mad. not at them at least - only at himself and his sickly body.

"C-cong-g-grats! H-hows it f-feel to be a warrior n-now," he says, a bit of humor coloring his words. Its not as though much else than his name has changed, and yet suddenly snailstride will be allowed more freedom and more responsibility. It's every cats dream - quite literally. Eve he wants to be a warrior someday, though he fears what that would mean for him. Will they even be alive by then? ...Perhaps gravelsnap's paranoia is rubbing off on him, for he feels more anxious than before - less numb. Its a strange feeling that nearly sweeps him off his paws, crushing and stabbing across his chest and his lungs until it's almost to hard to breath. His mouth feels dry, and as he takes a sharp inhale he almost chokes.

"I- " what is he even supposed to say? He's terrified that sootstar might be correct despite his own doubts - that three of the four other clans would seek them out to enact vengeance upon them. "...do you th-think its true?" he finally manages, words hushed - he's all to aware of the many, many faces lingering about now that they're all confined within the gorse walls. Protection - or a trap?

// @SNAILSTRIDE
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[SNAILSTRIDE]

The reality of WindClan's situation had briefly been overshadowed by the caterwaul's of clanmates cheering on his and Rainheart's names. They swore their paws still buzzed as they moved around the camp, wanting to move them so desperately out on the moors yet being shackled to home like a bird with clipped wings. The congratulations after the fact had been becoming lesser and lesser, much to the tabby's disappointment, but it was with a saccharine grin that he met Periwinkle's own praise towards him, their tail swishing in a swift greeting. "It feels. That in itself is kinda shocking. I'm still playing my ceremony over and over in my head and I feel like I could do anything. I see now why cats want to be leaders, to feel that sort of admiration every day must be... I dunno." Invigorating. Dangerous. It almost made their strife and burned bridges worth it, but before they could explain themselves further to their friend, the air around them seemed to shift. Their smile lessened, their ears twitching upwards attentively as they confusedly tried to figure out what had happened. Jealousy? That didn't seem like the right answer, they'd been an apprentice for an extra three moons, who'd ever be jealous of that?

Do you think its true? It took a second for Snail to understand what their friend was referencing. Their eyes widened in panic, first settling on Periwinkle's before scouting the nearby area for signs of eavesdroppers. They were in close quarters like this, cats tripping over each other more than usual and tunnelers having to pop above ground for fear of being deemed missing. The danger was imminent, not from the enemy, but from speaking out of turn. Things seemed quiet enough, all the same, the tabby lowered his voice. "Doesn't matter what I believe... I don't think. Battle's gonna happen regardless, her reputation is on the line if it doesn't." The gathering was soon, wasn't it? The perfect time to sow the seeds if Sootstar's words had been obfuscated. It was an awful but inevitable fate, and with tensions now higher than the hills, the promise of death should they be unable to focus through the chaos of battle was real. One evasion of a grounding thought, one modicum of panic, they would fall to the ground and they risked dying to someone who just saw them as another bug to squash. There had to be a way to protect themselves, they were just falling short on an answer.

"B-But... whatever you want me to say that would ease your worry, I dunno if I can. Firefang betrayed me so she could become a warrior, told Sootstar I wanted to run away like Dandelionwish had done. I know you're not like her but..." They paused to look around once more, gently biting their own tongue as they tried their best to word it in a way that wouldn't get the pair of them killed. They didn't want to admit that their ex-friend had been telling the truth, but they weren't keen to lie and deny either. "What do you think? Is what Sootstar said true to you?"
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[Periwinklebreeze.]

STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 09 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

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'It feels. That in itself is kinda shocking. ' - a relatable sentiment. How many times is it now that periwinklepaw has lost himself to the numbness? To the feeling of not-caring. There is a certain saftey in tucking your emotions and feelings away after all. No one can hurt you if you can't feel the pain. Snailstride deserves to be a warrior though - he'd managed to do far more than peri thinks he ever could if thrust into the same situation. If he'd been n that raid - would he have frozen? Would he have fled? Would he have been able to be there, knowing his own kin was the one who might be forced to strike him down - or worse, the other way around. "Y-you d-deserve the ad-mira-tion," the words a bit hard to get out, his jaw twitching painfully in the attempt, but he manages nonetheless "- but y-yeah, I know what you m-mean," He still remembers the way he'd felt as a child when sootstar had taken the time out of her day to give him and his siblings hunting tips. He'd felt special back then - a feeling that is now twisted into something cruel and vicious.

Snailstride seems to share similar sentiments as peri - that whether it's true or not, battle is likely going to be lurking right behind the corner. Voices are lowered - gaze cast about in paranoia. Ah - so he's noticed it too then. Without really thinking anything of it, he shuffles closer to snailstride - pressing his flank tight against the others if he'll allow for it. He hadn't known that firefang had stooped so low, but really - why is he even surprised. Just another reason to hate the molly - another reason to sink his teeth and claws into her someday. The thought scares him a bit, but he supposes there's only so much that even he can take. Violence's isn't always the answer... but sometimes he's staring to think, there might be exceptions.

"d-do you remember why she was exiled?" he says softly - words a whisper barely heard above the sound of his own beating heart. clear blue gaze flits to the sky overhead, lost in thought. "Sh-she lashed out b-b-b-because sh-she was worried th-that one of my siblings had b-been put in danger, that riverclan c-c-could have k-killed them" he says slowly, thoughts drawn out. "Why... w-would a cat.. who- who loved sootstar, who l-loved her children, put them in harms way" he still remembers it clearly - the look of betrayal on hyacinth's face at the time that sootstar had exiled her. She's once been her queens most loyal warrior after all. Why would she ever band together with cats and clans that meant nothing to her, to harm those who did matter? He's careful to keep his tone to one of hurt confusion just in case - make it sound more like he feels betrayed, but his sentiments are clear enough.

"... I th-think smogmaw lied. I've s-s-seen him you know, at the g-g-g-gath-ering," he hesitates for a moment, wondering if he should keep going, but shrugs off his worry. If snailstride runs and tattles to sootstar it will make no difference anyways - they all think him traitor no matter what. And.. he'd like to think he can trust the grey tabby. ".. b-before the alliance w-w-was over, he was tr-trying to find out about our w-w-weaknesses, tr-trying to start fights with us and r-r-riverclan,"

He's smart enough to leave out where exactly he'd been at that time - he's not suicidal enough to say he'd been pressed tight to hyacinth's fur during that convesation. Beyond that, hadn't their queen said he'd been in their territory? Hadn't she said he'd run back and lie to his own clan? He's clearly dishonest. he gives one last shrug, trying to brush it off as meaningless - "I j-j-just... d-don't trust wh-what that f-f-fox-heart told sootstar," but theres nothing we can do about it. goes left unsaid.
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[SNAILSTRIDE]

Bark-like laughter escaped the new warrior as Peri said they deserved the admiration, their ears growing warm from the compliment. The point must have been the only one in the clan brave enough to say such things, they weren't naive enough anymore to disregard the way the other clanmates had looked at them before their promotion. A failure. It'd been Sootstar's second chance that'd let them prove the clan wrong but it was still incredibly difficult to make sense of the conflicting opinions they had of WindClan. Some days they hated it, some days they loved it, today, they weren't sure if they loved the group or just loved the attention they'd given him. "Appreciate it Peri. You'd best get your name soon so you can see what it feels like! It's... kinda special." So special that they weren't sure if they wanted the conversation to veer away from it. When it inevitably did, guilt nipped at their stomach at their friend's next words. A voice spoken so quietly that the warrior had to strain to hear it, their pupils dilating in intense focus.

She? "You mean your mom?" A lot of WindClan cats had been exiled, but they could only recall one that Periwinklepaw would've been referring to. There was a mournful reverie to his tone for a parent, lost but nod dead, and it made their tail slowly sway in a harmless envy. They listened but found themselves unable to give an answer that the point cat would like. Cats were complicated beasts, to offer a reply would be to assign traits to Hyacinthbreath that might not even exist. Thankfully, they got the impression that Peri just wanted to vent, instead of actively seeking out advice. Ears slowly drooped to the side of their skull. "I saw her on our raid last moon. She was hurt then, probably from Juniperfrost..." There was no love lost speaking the name of a fallen clanmate. The culture of old cats with vicious temperaments needed to be stamped out to make way for the young, even knowing the late tom had family, it was difficult to properly mourn.

A clear picture was formed from their younger friend's words. Someone was lying about Juniperfrost's death, and Smogmaw was definitely lying. Snailstride had considered felines to be full of enough intricacies to hurt their head trying to assess them all but maybe, just maybe, politics were an even tougher nut to crack. "Oh uh, I never really paid attention to what ShadowClan was doing. It's been a while since I was allowed at gatherings..." It was an admittance said with a nervous chuckle, of re-education and correction left unseen by the rest of the clan. They didn't mind hinting at it for Periwinkle's sake: trusting the wrong cat could cause a similar experience, and they didn't know if their friend's connections would doom them to a worse fate or not. They forced their fur flat, trying to push the thought down with the rest. "I believe you though. Sounds like he's a nasty piece of foxdung if I've ever heard one." Still, something did not sit right with Sootstar's reaction. An unspoken doubt, clear in the glint in their eye for but a second before they offered a stalwart smile. "I'm surprised his leader lets him do what he wants like that. I dunno if that's trust or stupidity, I couldn't imagine Sootstar's council ever doing anything without her saying so." To some, they were attack dogs. To others, they were a united front. Snailstride hadn't decided which description was more applicable yet.


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