sensitive topics you can only starve so much before you- // fainting

[Periwinklebreeze.]

❀​❀ I NEED YOU HERE 'CAUSE I'M A MESS ❀❀​
periwinklepaw | 10 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

---

The past half-moon has been an utter mess. The world itself seems to be trying his patience - testing his strength. And periwinklepaw has been utterly failing. By no fault but his own he has grown thin and gaunt, his mind a mess and hi body suffering all the more for it. With ribs jutting and face sallow, it is sheer stubbornness that has him out on patrol - endless ' i'm fines ' and ' theres nothing wrong with me's ' falling uselessly past his lips in the process. But it is a lie - how long has it been since he could eat? since he had left himself? But every time he tries, all he can think of is the blood - the death. What he'd done. His stomach has long gone silent, leaving only numbness - but he pushes on.

Ignoring the rest of the patrol, jaws part as he catches a familiar scent. Long limbs fluidly drop into an easy crouch as though it is second nature to him, and he creeps forwards slowly - paws silent and ears pricked. One... two.. three... there! He's moving forwards instinctively, chasing after the rabbit that was foolish enough to leave its burrow. But as he flies after it, he knows he's made a mistake. Vision swirls and darkens, sending him staggering. Well shit. He has barely a moment to spare for that thought before the ground comes rushing up to meet him, face thunking solidly to the dirt and rocks as he promptly blacks out.

// @Bluepool mentor ping, no need to wait
tw: fainting, topics about eating disorders / withholding food
​

​

​

​

 

[Badgermoon]

The wind was tearing across the moors, as ever, and Badgermoon sloped along with his Clanmates with a feeling of contentment in his bones. Prey was bountiful, the weather was fine, and his mind was busy with thoughts of hunting and patrolling, distracting him from certain recent events. His yellow eyes flicked across the land in front of him and he watched with pleasure as Periwinklepaw peeled off, slipping into a hunter's posture; clearly, the young cat had seen or scented something. The black-and-white tomcat was about to turn away and seek out a target of his own when he suddenly spotted Bluepool's apprentice leap - stagger - and collapse. Fox-dung! What happened to him?! Alarm propelled Badgermoon forward, hastening to the fallen apprentice's side and anxiously attempting to nudge the younger cat awake. "He's still breathing, but - "

He was reminded of Snailstride's collapse in the middle of a spar, and while this seemed sort of similar, this felt...more sinister, somehow. "I'm going to go get Vulturemask. You all, stay with him and, I dunno, try to wake him up?" he instructed before beginning to sprint away. In his haste and alarm he failed to notice the gauntness of Periwinklepaw's frame, reminiscent of the hungriest leaf-bare seasons despite the abundant prey.

@VULTUREMASK​

 

[Firefang]

Firefang tolerated sharing patrols with cats she deemed as lame and pathetic; long as they didn't get in her way she'd accept their company as if she had a genuine choice in the matter. A plump thrush hangs from her maw as she follows after the patrol walking not more then a few mouselengths behind Badgermoon. She'd been trying her best not to think about anything more then keeping up and looking for more prey to chase - it was better for her this way she shouldn't let herself get hung up on grief she just wanted to grip onto a sense of normalcy to enjoy the wind ruffling the fur on her back and the taste of fresh blood trickling down her maw. She just wants to enjoy this peace before returning to a dour camp until she was called on for another patrol. This peace of hers doesn't last, she turns her head as Periwinklepaw sprints into action tearing off towards a rabbit that she'd neglected to notice, for what it was worth he was at least a decent enough hunter not that it made up for the many things he seemed to fall short at and for the tainted-traitorous blood running in his veins. Regardless of her opinion on him her fur prickles in alarm when he drops to the ground, his eight going limp when he'd just seconds before been running fluidly. It wasn't a kind landing, his face looked like it dragged on the ground.

She runs after Badgermoon over to him, eyes searching for whatever could've tripped him up but there is no attacker, no large rock no nothing he'd just slipped up horribly. What was wrong with him? She remembers Snailstride fainting in battle but that'd been because they'd gotten scared (she figures) this was different, this was something she had no clue about and she dreads the fact that Badgermoon tells her and those with them to just wait with him. Her ears fold back ❝Just wait here? are you insa-❞ she tries to blurt out but he's already running off - wouldn't it be better to carry him? She hopes he and Vulturemask would return with haste, she really didn't want to be the first face he awoke too just as she wouldn't want him to be hers if their places were reversed. She huffs before casting a look down at him curiously looking him over one paw lifting up to prod at his side. It draws back - there was a shallowness to his body; he was a large tom on par with her own size roughly but he was skinny something she just hadn't really noticed. It was like his body was still trapped in leafbare while the rest of them were enjoying the plentiful prey of greenleaf.

She'd look over her shoulder at Bluepool figuring she'd know best. ❝Has he been eatin'?❞ there's a twinge of concern; she swears there was no way she was depriving him of that much prey when it'd been her in charge of when he took from the prey pile.
( ✦ )​

 

[SOOTSTAR]

SOOTSTAR ♀​

Sootstar’s fur is littered with dirt, a rabbit dangles from her jaws and she pads across the moorland. Carrying this thing back home would be easier above ground, and truth be told unlike some tunnelers, she quite likes strolling above ground from time to time. She had come to slow down when she scents a patrol nearby, hunting no doubt, and she doesn’t want to get in the way of their catch. Yet instead of yowls of triumph and success, she hears panic. Without dropping her catch she begins to sprint, dragging the long-eared prey with her. In the grass she spots a pelt of black and gray, Periwinklepaw was laying on the ground, now her hare drops. Badgermoon is sprinting to get Vulturemask, Sootstar leans down and sniffs the apprentice. ”It doesn’t look like he has been.” Sootstar responds to Firefang, though she didn’t think Bluepool was hovering any orders not to eat over the apprentice. She looks to her sister for clarification, perhaps she had an explanation for this?

 

[VULTUREMASK]

" I'm coming!." Vulturemask had been quick to respond to Badgermoon the moment the deputy had arrived at his den to explain the situation. He had no real clue what exactly had caused Periwinklepaw to collapse but he knew this was not the first time this had happened. He collected himself herbs he thought might be helpful before he rushed after the deputy to lead him where Periwinklepaw was. Once upon the scene the medicine cat would just hurry himself past those who were present so he could get to the apprentice side. Vulturemask laid down in front of them and after dropping the herbs he started to lick them across their face in an attempt to wake them up.

Fury was burning in his veins how something like this could have happened!. Weither he had succeeded to wake Periwinklepaw up or not the medicine cat would growl underneath their throat. " How did this happen?." He forced his voice to remain calm but his teeth were bared. In anger he cast a glare at Bluepool. How could she have let it go this far?!. What sort of brutal training had she forced Periwinklepaw to do for it to have gone to this point. How could she not have seen that her own apprentice was nothing but skin and bone!. It was up to the warriors to make sure their apprentices not overworked themself to this point...especially when the weather were getting warmer. Was it all because of Hyacinthbreath?!. For how long was he going to get punished for his mothers crimes for?!.

He was waiting to hear whatever sort of bullshit they would tell him to self-righteous themselves right now. Vulturemask was biting back every vile words he had in store for her and Firefang knowing very well she was just as much to blame. Unfortunately he already knew that Sootstar was going to side with her sister..tch. Didn't matter if Periwinklepaw work himself to death just to prove his worth to them.


​

 

[Bluepool]

Bluepool follows along with the patrol, joking, talking, laughing. She has, of course, noticed the way her apprentice had been getting skinnier and skinner, noticed the way his cheeks had sunken in and turned gaunt. But there was only so many times she could ask what was wrong and be given the same answer before she had given up. He practically lived with Vulturemask, after all. If something was wrong surely the medicine cat would have said something.

She watches him now as he tears after a rabbit, happy to see how fast he is moving, happy to see him take the initiative. But then something happens. Periwinklepaw falls, collapses, and he doesn't get up. She lets out a sharp cry and runs to his side, to Badgermoons side. "whats wrong?" she asks him, shoving him with one blue colored paw "wake up Cmon please" she feels close to tears, her ears pinned to the back of her head. Firefang asks if he's been eating and Bluepool desperately wracks her brain. She had told him to so many times she had instructed the tom to eat something before they left, had told him to before going out on this very patrol. Her sister confirms it and Bluepool cannot help but feel as if she had failed in some way.

It is not until Vulturemask speaks that the silver tabby reacts. She spins on her heels, fur on the back of her neck raised and a snarl on her face. "What happened?" she echoes "you should know! He spends more time with you than me. He practically lives with you" Stars only knew why, Vulturemask was insufferable "you're supposed to be the medicine cat how could you not have known something was wrong?" her tone is accusatory, anger burning upon her tongue. She could only do so much, tell him so many times to eat. She turns away from Vulturemask now to look upon her apprentice again. "We should get him back to camp" she says quietly, anger subdued. "maybe I can convince him to eat something when he wakes up…" she feels like a failure.

​

 

[Mintshade]

Her tail raised, crooked and whip-like, to stop Azaleapaw from running ahead of her as she moves to catch up to the rest of the patrol and it is only the forming of cats around something on the ground quite obviously not a rabbit that has he stepping closer. Perwinklepaw. On the ground.
"What hap-" Before she can ask Vulturemask has arrived with Badgermoon at his side turned to snarl at her sister and the dark molly bristles immediately, defensively as he lays the blame on her shoulders entirely. Mintshade pushes forward to block his sight to Bluepool even as her sister already speaks to defend herself, hackles raised and teeth showing back in reply, "Know your place, medicine cat! Its your job to know your clans health and wellbeing and you can't even keep track of that! I bet you want us all to die, the way you sit and sulk in your den like some shadow." She had no fondness for the healers of WindClan, never had. From Honeytwist to now they had been nothing but traitors and thorns in the side she could not even consider going to in her times of need; she'd rather bleed across the moorland grass and die than let them touch her-it would be quicky, at least than sitting there under their negligence. That this tom felt he had any authority in this clan just because he was meant to take care of them was atrocious, that he felt so confident in speaking so rudely to a higher authority. A worm, she despised him. She echoes the blue tabby's words once more but more harshly.
"Why weren't YOU paying attention to him? He's always up your tail anyways! Always in that den!" And frankly, if he couldn't handle the normal training an apprentice of this clan was required to manage then perhaps Vulturemask ought to keep him, she can only imagine the blapshemy they would whisper to one another in that herbal hollow, the son of a traitor and the friend of many of them. Why WindClan needed a medicine cat at all she couldn't wrap her head around, they were not the clan losing wars! It was the others!
"So quit your mouthing off and DO. YOUR. JOB."

---

[Ooc]
I got ninja'd but pretend she is just going 'YEAH!' and repeating what Bluepool says like a really aggressive parrot lol
Apprentice tag - @Azaleapaw
​

 

[Badgermoon]

"Enough." it was a relief that he had found Vulturemask so quickly and that Periwinklepaw's condition hadn't worsened while they'd made the sprint from camp, but Badgermoon was displeased by the bickering they'd returned to. It was understandable - when someone you cared about was sick or injured, emotions tended to rise - but entirely unacceptable. "We'll sort all that out later. For now, Bluepool's right, we should bring him back to camp, unless you want him to stay here, Vulturemask." the bicolor cat's yellow eyes moved expectantly to their healer: neither hostile nor affectionate, only attentive, anticipatory. He had no personal connection with the medicine cat and quite frankly found him to be more than a little creepy, but he was serving his Clan as well as he was able with an incomplete education from a traitor, and that was good enough for Badgermoon. There's plenty of prey. Why wouldn't he be eating? ​

 

[GRAVELSNAP]

Gravelsnap stands a fox-length away from the others, fighting off waves of nausea. They haven’t moved since their friend collapsed, expression bordering on terrified; the worst possible explanations are running through their mind, and guilt tugs at their chest. They’re reminded of the rabbit, of Periwinklepaw’s refusal to eat prey that day. Their stomach turns, and they have to look away for a moment. They should have said something. Peri was not fine then and they are certainly not fine now.

Gravelsnap watches, wide-eyed, as clanmates gather around the apprentice. Will they wake up? The idea of Periwinklepaw suffering makes him feel sick. And the older cats all seem intent on casting blame around—and the monochrome moor runner is certain that they know exactly whose fault this is. They should have tried harder. They should have been a better friend. "Will he be okay," they ask softly, not expecting a response.
​

[ DEATH OF A DREAM ]​

​

 

[Firefang]

If Sootstar had seen her faceplant while hunting she wouldn't be able to show her face in camp for moons; she'd messed up once in front of the leader already and would never repeat that mistake that look of disgrace was disgust and disappointment was seared into her memory. Losing to a cheating kittypet still weighed heavily on her pride but she'd rather have failed in combat with another cat who she left with bloody wounds rather then against a rabbit because she was mousebrained enough not to eat. Still there's a twisted sense of pity she can feel staring down at the beloathed tom; she didn't like seeing any of her clanmates in such rough shape it looked bad on them all. Bluepool wasn't the type of cat to deprive him of prey and the confusion and concern on her face dissuades whatever feeling of suspicion before it can even enter her mind. Vulturemask however isn't as trusting - their medicine cat seemed to always be in a wretched mood as sharp and snappy as a badger with burrs in its butt. She's not blind to the fact he doesn't hold much affection for her; she's known it for a while but she doesn't fan the flames with him not unless she was provoked. He was a strange cat; dark as his pelt always in a seemingly consistently dour mood only broken up by the occasional snarls and hisses he shouted at those who picked on his siblings or the pile of bones and fur laying unconscious on the ground. She knows it's only a matter of time before she says the wrong thing in his ear shot to truly make him hate her guts (if he didn't already) and she can't say she wanted that.

She needed someone to patch up her wounds and give her herbs that she didn't need to worry about doing shoddy work or "accidentally" poisoning her.

She eyes him uncomfortably fur on her neck raising at the way he glares at Bluepool but it's not her who comes to her defense - she can put the medicine cat in his place herself and Mintshade's derisive words only serve to help. She can't help but crack a smirk, if only he'd listen - if only all the medicine cats before him had listened and done what they were tasked to do they wouldn't be losing them so often.

She looks to Badgermoon as the deputy speaks and would nod - she doesn't really wait for Vulturemask's approval already beginning to bend down a remark passing from her maw as she does. ❝Well there is a bright side. He'll be easy to haul back to camp at least bein' all lightweight and all❞ she'd nose his scruff before gripping it in her teeth (if he did not stir). ​

( ✦ )

 

[VULTUREMASK]

Bluepool had it all wrong just like that shadow of sister of hers had. He barely even saw Periwinklepaw during the day since he was out training with their mentor or the other apprentices. He barely even saw his own siblings for the same reasons. But still they blamed him for it like he was expected to have eyes everywhere. " You don't even know do you. " How much her own apprentice was in a sufferable pressure. He had a whole clan to look out for and Bluepool only had one apprentice to keep an eye on still she seemed completely oblivious to why her apprentice was in the condition he was in. It was not like Periwinklepaw's unknown condition was a stranger to anyone here. This had happened before, and Peri had been living in the medicine cat even back then Dandelionwish had lived here. Vulturemask was not going to take the full blame on this. Bluepool could have come to him to inform him of Periwinklepaw's worsen condition. How could anyone even look at him and say he was fine?. Only a blind fool would or a mentor who refused to acknowledge their own apprentice wellbeing to keep on pushing them until they cracked and broke.

Of course he knew he could have done more too. He did not put all of the blame on Bluepool's shoulders but he was not going to admit that aloud to a cat like her. Not when she couldn't even acknowledge she had a responsibility too when it came to looking out after her apprentice every single time she took them out from camp and away from his watchful eye.

Vulturemask was about to turn his attention back to Periwinklepaw not having time to listen to a cat like Bluepool who cared more about her self-image in this clan than her own apprentice wellbeing. If she had she would have worked with him about this but instead she had just keept on pushing and putting pressure on Periwinklepaw which most have worsen his condition.

But of course Mintshade had to go running that stupid mouth of hers to calling him out on all the wrong things. Since when he had been sitting sulking in his den?. When he had been attending to his patients?, or when he had been out chasing after herbs?. The only time he was in his den was when he needed to take a nap or store his herbs. That or when he had enough dealing with rats like her. But he had never been slacking. He was working his ass of to keep them all healthy despite how ungrateful they where towards him over it. If he hadn't cared he would have let cats like Weaselclaw die just like the rest of them in the battles they had all started. He could poison them all with his herbs if he truly wished them all to die.

The nerve she had. A vermin were what she was. If there was anyone he wished who would die in this clan it was her.

He would keep himself back from responding to her thinking he was above having to deal with cats like her, beside Badgermoon had spoken up and he was more interested to get Periwinklepaw back to camp since it didn't seem like he was going to wake up anytime soon. " Yes, lets bring him back." he would stand up again just when Firefang came along to try liftening the apprentice up. Vulturemask would lean himself down again signaling for Firefang to put Periwinklepaw on his back. Twitching his ear over to Gravelsnap the medicine cat would stand up once the apprentice he had looked out for a such long time was resting on his back. " I don't know." he would reply lowly because he had no answer. Maybe he should prepare a new grave to bury Periwinklepaw in just like he had done with Snowfeather not that long ago.

He then just started to walk his way back to camp.


​

 

[SOOTSTAR]

SOOTSTAR ♀​

/tw for some not-so-nice comments The scene explodes faster than a cat could pounce and kill it's prey. Sootstar notes the look of fury in Vulturemask's eyes directed at Bluepool. In an instant she wants to defend the striped molly, but Mintshade beats her and does so adequetly. She gives them both a subtle look of support before her gaze flickers back to their scarred medicine cat. Vulturemask retorts before agreeing to take Periwinklepaw back to camp and proping the tom onto his back. Once the tom is out of earshot with the passed out apprentice Sootstar cannot help but snort. "For all I care? This is the apprentice's own fault. No cat should need to tell him when to eat like a kitten still on milk." The words are venomous and contained no empathy. Periwinklepaw was weak, what a warrior he would be.