- Sep 9, 2022
- 583
- 75
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❀❀ I FEEL SCARED AND I'M STARTING TO SINK ❀❀
periwinklebreeze | 10 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically medium (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff
periwinklebreeze | 10 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically medium (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff
The newly named warrior has been thinking for a while now. Now, usually this is not such a good thing - his thoughts tend to be of the more traumatic variety after all, visions and nightmares swimming around his brain and leaving him ill. But these days he's been doing his best to understand something that has bothered him for quite a while - his friendships. The thought had first struck him when dazzlepaw had been announced dead - when all the searches had turned up empty. He had mourned and grieved and cried, had felt shattered. And he'd realized that it was different than it had been to wisteriapaw, than it had been to the rest of his clanmates who'd gone to starclan from battles or geencough or anything else. And he's come to only one conclusion - perhaps, he hadn't been s interested in just friendship as he'd thought after all.
So what did that mean for the rest of his relationships? Well - he only really has four to focus on. Nightingale is easy enough - his dearly beloved sister, he loves and cherishes her and would die for her. He'd do anything and everything except run away should she ask it of him. And yet, has he ever once confided in her? He hadn't told her of his actions after the gathering, hadn't spoken of bluepools task, hadn't told her of the nightmares that haunted him or his struggles with blood ever since witnessing their mother step down.
Then there is azaleapaw - who he thinks of not all too dissimilarly, if not as strongly. A friend he wants to protect but wouldn't necessarily trust with his secrets.
That leaves him with only two - a strange pairing in deed. Snailstride and gravelsnap, his two closest companions but in such vastly different ways that he'd truly struggled to understand how it had come to be. How many times had he and gravel argued? How many times had he been left feeling hurt and burned by the other boy, emotions whirling and churning painfully. It seems every interaction they have leaves him a mess - even the good ones. A fluttering heart and a paniced mind - that's what he's always left with.
But snail... how many secrets have they shared? A kindred spirit, the only soul with whom he has shared the darkest parts of himself - his doubts, his fears. The only cat who had kept them. He doesn't understand how it had happened, but somehow he'd become such a big part of his life - a calming and warm presence. Does he truly only think of them as friend? He... doesn't think so, at least that is the conclusion his tired mind has landed upon. And so at sunhigh, after a long day of patrolling and hunting and thinking, the black-masked boy strides forwards, head tipping to the side as he draws to a halt in front of his best friend. "I think I like you," he says simply, not even stuttering as he speaks - words simply spilling out on their own as casually as though he is asking after the weather.
// @SNAILSTRIDE
So what did that mean for the rest of his relationships? Well - he only really has four to focus on. Nightingale is easy enough - his dearly beloved sister, he loves and cherishes her and would die for her. He'd do anything and everything except run away should she ask it of him. And yet, has he ever once confided in her? He hadn't told her of his actions after the gathering, hadn't spoken of bluepools task, hadn't told her of the nightmares that haunted him or his struggles with blood ever since witnessing their mother step down.
Then there is azaleapaw - who he thinks of not all too dissimilarly, if not as strongly. A friend he wants to protect but wouldn't necessarily trust with his secrets.
That leaves him with only two - a strange pairing in deed. Snailstride and gravelsnap, his two closest companions but in such vastly different ways that he'd truly struggled to understand how it had come to be. How many times had he and gravel argued? How many times had he been left feeling hurt and burned by the other boy, emotions whirling and churning painfully. It seems every interaction they have leaves him a mess - even the good ones. A fluttering heart and a paniced mind - that's what he's always left with.
But snail... how many secrets have they shared? A kindred spirit, the only soul with whom he has shared the darkest parts of himself - his doubts, his fears. The only cat who had kept them. He doesn't understand how it had happened, but somehow he'd become such a big part of his life - a calming and warm presence. Does he truly only think of them as friend? He... doesn't think so, at least that is the conclusion his tired mind has landed upon. And so at sunhigh, after a long day of patrolling and hunting and thinking, the black-masked boy strides forwards, head tipping to the side as he draws to a halt in front of his best friend. "I think I like you," he says simply, not even stuttering as he speaks - words simply spilling out on their own as casually as though he is asking after the weather.
// @SNAILSTRIDE
