❀❀ OH HOME, LET ME COME HOME ❀❀
periwinklebreeze & 14 moons & demi-boy & he/they & windclan moor runner
Peri isn't sure what he's expecting when gravelsnap speaks, but he's certain it's not that his friend hated him. Well - it's not that shocking actually, he's well aware now that he's grown that what he'd thought of as kindness and friendship as a child had been nothing more than
tolerance from his clanmates. He'd been an annoying insect they couldn't be fussed to get rid of, but one they didn't
really want around. All because of his mothers choices.
Of course, things had changed - and the next words only confirm that, the boy giving a stiff nod of understanding when the other warrior scrambles to explain himself. He doesn't hold it against him after all - besides, he'd chosen to be his friend now for real, had stood up for him. That's- well, it's more than periwinklebreeze deserves, honestly.
Things don't go where he expects them too though - where
had he been expecting this conversation to go actually? Because there's a shift -
'but you're you. And you're...' Peri can understand, sort of. That feeling of searching, of being drawn towards each other without meaning to. Because gravelsnap is gravelsnap, and periwinklebreeze is periwinklebreeze. There aren't words, or at least, he's never found them either.
"Oh" -
OH!
For a moment, it feels as though time has frozen still, because the young warrior has forgotten how to
breathe. Vision blurs for a moment, heartbeat pounding so hard that it drowns out all the other sounds - the usual humming buzz of the den, of the camp, all of it now rendered silent in his shock. Had... had he heard that right? Gravelsnap...
likes him. Not as a friend, but as - as something
more. A
lot more.
It can't be, right - this is too good to be true? And yet, his pulse is racing so fast as gentle blue gaze finally snaps back into focus. A steady thrum of heat flushes his features, burning with his embarrassment - with his
joy, and he really can't contain his reaction any longer. A half-choked sob, an innocent laugh - a lopsided smile that all but lights up his features, bright and childlike.
"I- I like you too," he says finally, breathless as he finally lets that weighty sentiment free, lets that slippery fluttery feeling out of it's place caged deep within his chest.
He want's to cry, he thinks - not from sorrow this time, like before, but from
relief. And oh - he already is, he realizes, because sure enough cheeks are damp by tears he hadn't even known he was holding back. As a paw swipes across his face in embarrassment, he wonders just how long they've been dancing around this, around each other, pining away and never knowing the other felt the same. When had they become more than just friends, when had this feeling shifted and sunk it's claws into them, dragging the two warriors into it's thrall? Should he ask? Does it even matter? He almost does, but in the end he stays silent - this is enough, he thinks, this
knowing that he is not alone.
He could die happily now, he thinks - starclan could strike him down then and there with their bolts of lightning, and he's certain he'd not have a single regret. But they don't, and so his mind turns elsewhere, pupils dilated and eyes going wide. Because, if- if they both feel the same - what does it mean? Suddenly, he is utterly out of his depth, whickers trembling and caws kneading the ground nervously. A quiet clearing of his throat, head turning away in embarrassment - oh
starclan, he's made a fool of himself again.
He has not had many examples of this sort of 'like' in his life to reflect upon - parents who'd been just friends, not unlike badgermoon and scorchstreak. A brood made not of love - in fact, he'd not even know hyacinthbreath was his mom until he'd fallen until that day in camp. Perhaps they'd never have known. Then, of course, there is sootstar and weaselclaw - a strange pairing, most will agree. Their loyalty and devotion is astonishing - but the moorland queen clearly holds all the power in that dynamic. Peri can't help but wonder what it must be like, to fear demotion and banishment for even petty arguments. Or does that thought never even cross the toms mind?
Or should he look to Sunstride and Wolfsong instead - a pairing closer to their own he thinks, except - well no, his mind shouldn't wander to thing like
kits just yet, that's a bit much for even him. In all honesty, he'd never once thought to question the pairs care for one another had been caught utterly off guard by their declaration of love and new status as mates, because he'd been under the assumption
they already were. Is that what it was like for the two golden furred felines - a sense of knowing and trust, so much so that the next move was an utterly simple decision, not even a question?
But... but periwinklebreeze is not like them. He doesn't know, not any of it. He knows not what he is supposed to do now that he's been faced with such a declaration, what gravelsnap might wish of him - nor what this means, or what comes next. And it's as
terrifying as it is exhilarating.
Gravesnap tells him to
leave if he wants, and heart shatters. Does he mean leave now, on this journey - or is he throwing him away too?
"Leave?" he echoes absently. He's already told sootstar he will go - so why? Why only now must he find out, when there is no choice left in the matter, no changing what has been done.
"But wha-" voice cuts short, throat and mouth suddenly too dry to speak. A careful swipe of his tongue, a heavy swallow -
"What d-does this mean th-then? If... If I l-l-like you, and.. well, y-you know, you l-l-like me to, and n-now that I kn-know you j-j-just want me to- to leave, and I- I have to-" has it always been this hard to speak? Periwinklebreze doesn't think its his body that is struggling to get the words out this time - no, it is his mind and his heart that are left scrambling like a trapped rabbit. And well... he can't help it if he finds himself getting his hopes up just a bit. Wishing that the answer he hears from the warriors lips is the one he wants, rather than the one he fears.
Because he wants to live the rest of his life with gravelsnap - wants to come home from the journey, safe in the knowledge that gravelsnap will be here - that he'll be
waiting for him to come home.
But when has he ever gotten what he's hoped?
Perhaps, it would be better to not hope at all. Perhaps it would be better to turn tail and flee, like he always does - to run away and pretend like his problems never existed at all. To just stay as friends, who only like each other
as friends, and never anything more. This time though, he's not sure he can. This not knowing, this terror - it
hurts worse than any wound, and he thinks he might
break.
-
Actions && "Speech," && ' Thoughts/Quotes '
ooc: —
tw/cw: —
-
— a lithe figured black and white tom with a false-pointed pattern and clear blue eyes that gleam periwinkle in the right lighting. he seems perpetually worn and exhausted, with heavy bags beneath his eyes and a slouched posture. he has a speech impediment which leaves him with a stutter and sometimes even completely non-verbal, and his fluffy tail is adorned with carefully woven daisies.
— physically medium && mentally easy && pacifist
— non-violent powerplay allowed && healing powerplay allowed && minor injury powerplay allowed
— please attack using [b][color=#ccccff]action here[/color][/b] and tag account
