private blame the stars [ greeneyes ] they left me down here

[Periwinklebreeze.]

I'M NO BURDEN - NOT SO WORTHLESS
BENT SO MUCH THAT I JUST MIGHT BREAK ​

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periwinklebreeze ❀ 15 moons ❀ demi-boy ❀ he/they ❀ windclan moor runner​

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Already, they've said their goodbyes - and here peri sits, left behind yet again. He knows that this time it is his choice - the ache of his wounds and his heart simply too much to bear, but still - it feels as though he has been lost. Traveling is slow-going, so much so he cannot even blame the others for their choice to leave, to move on. And he is useless.

He does not bother to join the others tonight - sleep will not come for the ashen child, not now. Instead, blackened paws carry him across the fields to rest upon the hillside slope, where it is quiet. where he can be alone. Here, there is nothing but the glow of the stars overhead and the gentle touch of the wind in his fur, the night air so cold he can see the clouds of his breath. Highstones is down there - somewhere in the darkness. Surely, the others must be getting close to home by now.

Head cranes back with a sharp snap, the stiffness not unfamiliar. It's strange, having only half his vision. The skies he's looked upon for moons no longer look the same, the gaps filled with shadows. it's not perfect darkness - even with cobwebs and harbs plastered down, the sunlight burns his vision red in the daylight, cooling to blues and purples once it sets. He is damaged now - broken. A monster of starclans own making. And yet - when he'd pulled himself to his paws, he'd been lauded a hero - praise and well wishes falling so easy form the others lips. Is this what it's like - to be needed. To be wanted. To be loved.

He can't tell.

" Why.... are y-you so cruel? Why w-would you make me like th-this? Cursed - w-wrong, " whispered words are not meant for living ears, but they find them nonetheless, the boy unaware. " Why must th-they die, wh-why must they g-g-get hurt, because of m-me, " he doesn't get it. Doesn't know why they'd made him at all if this was to be his life. Eye closes, pained grimace upon his lips as he fights of tears. Moonshadow, Wisteriapaw, Dazzlepaw, Vulturemask, Snailstride. They were all dead or gone - all because he was cursed. Because he'd found fault in the stars in the violence, in the bloodshed.

" Haven't you t-taken enough? "

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

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T H E ━ Q U E S T I O N S ━ T H A T ━ K E E P ━ M E ━ A W A K E

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@GREENEYES

 

[GREENEYES]

There's a heavy solemity that settles over Greeneyes as the first night of the journey's separation falls upon the delayed group. Twilight's cover is too quiet, rid of the bulk of hushed whispers he'd usually hear as he settled into his nest. Words inaudible to him, but enough to grab hold of and quell twisting thoughts, most nights.

And Figfeather - his sister is no longer in his line of sight, gone up ahead with the lungwort-carrying group. No longer can he catch a glimpse of golden fur in the corner of his eye, no longer can he assume her safety. Something could happen to her, and he wouldn't know. He could lose another sibling somewhere between here and home, his curse left to take another victim.

If it hadn't already back home - if it hadn't taken Butterflytuft, or Violetnose. If it hadn't taken his apprentice, his best friend. His heart drops at the thought, at the reminder of Fireflypaw. Does he know, by now, of his mother's death? Has she walked through his dreams, and let him know that green had bore into her too?

Sleep isn't coming for him tonight, he quickly realizes - as his mind churns, his paws itching to move once more. He doesn't think he would've been able to anyway, with the open air above him. How WindClanners do it, he doesn't know. He does know that a walk would do him some good, though he finds himself pushing away images of gnashing teeth as he rises from his nest.

Wandering paws cast him forward, long grass brushing against his fur as he walks. He does not know where he is going through the unfamiliar land, doesn't know if he should even be alone through its shadows, as ears strain to listen for any source of danger.

Up ahead, he spots a form - one that nearly makes him jump as it comes into view, a shadowy shape that leaves him bracing for impact before he realizes it's more cat-shaped than what he'd expected to come running after him. A parting of the jaws allows him to identify the muddied scent as one of their own - out alone just as he is. Paws guide him towards the warrior then, ears twitching at whispered words - at Periwinklebreeze's voice.

It isn't until he's closer that he can make them out fully - a particular word snagging at his ears, striking him in the chest with an impact that nearly causes him to stagger back. It's alarming - to hear his thoughts out loud, held in the voice of another. Greeneyes' ears flatten, and he makes his presence known.

"Do you... Do you really think you're cursed?"

✦ ABOUT

• 
  

  
  
  GREENKIT ‣ GREENPAW ‣ GREENEYES, Warrior of SkyClan
  — Daisyflight x Raven Ramble
  — AMAB; He/Him
  — A red tabby and white tom with bright green eyes.
  — Mentored by Sheepcurl; Currently mentoring Falconpaw
  — "Speech"; Attack
  
  ✦･ﾟ: * — Among SkyClan's first born, Greeneyes is a bright tom with an affinity for the world around him. Despite always seeking to be kind to others, the warrior believes he's cursed - a belief brought on by rhetoric that green is a deadly color.

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