private A Fool's Errand | Gravelpaw

[HOUNDTHISTLE]

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"​

He'd started this morning with the cold making his sore body feel worse. He had half a mind to skin Jaggedoak for that clumsy pounce, causing Houndthistle to not only lose Dandelionwish, but also for the aching from the fall that the other tom had tangled him up into. He just prayed that kick he'd given the bastard had him aching as much as he was, face set in a scowl as he stiffly walked out into the territory, toting Gravelpaw behind him. Perhaps to the younger tom it looked like Houndthistle was in a bad mood, perhaps angry, and, sure, he was, but his idea to fix his sore muscles was to work them out more, because what else is he supposed to do? Sit around moaning and groaning while things had to be done, while his apprentice was so close to becoming a warrior? Ha!

He led the way into a small valley between two hills, the grass a bit more laid down here and the bite of the cold not as bad as the wind was mostly cut by the heather that framed the vale. Rolling a sore shoulder as he stopped, Houndthistle paused, letting a silence hang as he stood there, soaking in Windclan's territory and the openness of the sky, clear blue above. A beautiful day for a lesson. "How ya feelin', Gravelpaw?" He asked offhandedly, words more thoughtful then usual, finally taking a glance back, curiously, at younger tom. He hadn't had a chance to talk to the younger tom about the entire uprising of traitors in the clan and, with how large all the personalities in Windclan were, he wanted to test the waters on how his apprentice felt about it all.
@GRAVELPAW
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[GRAVELSNAP]

Gravelpaw still feels tense, nervous about the events of the day before. Not only had the troublesome healer made a fairly clean getaway, but they had taken with them a fair number of disloyal (ex) WindClanners, most of them warriors. The clan will surely suffer if they go off to beg for acceptance in a different clan like Hyacinthbreath had—but won’t the clan also be better off without the traitorous, lying snakes in their midst, walking about as though they don’t pose a threat to the clan? Gravelpaw thinks themself in circles thinking of the future, of the other clans, worrying about skirmishes and ambushes at the territory’s borders.

Houndthistle seems in a bad mood today, and Gravelpaw hangs back a few paces, reminded of Lynxtooth’s anger, wary of cuffs over their ears. But the hulking tom doesn’t seem to be mad at them, seems more frustrated by Dandelionwish’s escape. He confirms their hope by asking the apprentice how they’re feeling, and they glance up from their paws to fix tired hazel eyes on him. "I’m fine," they say on instinct, not considering the question in depth. They shake their head, changing their answer. "Hate this. I just want clanmates to stop leaving." They bite the words out, leaving a bitter taste in their mouth. They’re sick of having to face the treacherous deeds of those they once considered clanmates, allies, friends. "What about you? Are you angry?"
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[ DEATH OF A DREAM ]​

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[HOUNDTHISTLE]

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"​

"Hmm..." He muses, lifting his chin thoughtfully, before nodding. Yes, cats leaving was a problem, but Houndthistle saw it not as a disappointment, but as a lesson. "I am angry. Many cats who bestowed themselves as traitors slipped from under our claws, cats who pretended to be our friends and played loyal. 'pose many cats would say it 'twas the stars' will to allow 'em to live, but... my claws itch for a day I can find one of 'em breakin' over our borders again." His admittance was almost dismissive, as though hardly believing he'd get the opportunity himself, but nonetheless verbalizing it sounded... good. "But, all that is is a wound to pride and a lesson to be learn't... which, makes for a good lesson we actually won't need our claws for for today," Houndthistle then sits, jerking his jaw infront of him to motion Gravelpaw to sit infront of him.

Whether the apprentice listened or not, Houndthistle would meet their gaze with curious orange eyes, searching, as he posed a question, "Do you want to get revenge, Gravelpaw?" He didn't let any of his intentions slip as he asked, stoicly looking at the other as he awaited their answer. He already could guess what the other would think, would say given youth, naivety, and emotional charge of so many turning away, but still, to hear it verbalized would make this lesson perhaps clearer to them.
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[GRAVELSNAP]

It’s comforting to know that their mentor shares the same viewpoint as them—they also can’t wait for the next time that one of them sets their traitorous paws upon the moorland again. Gravelpaw is glad that Houndthistle shares their anger, although he speaks of wounded pride, and the apprentice likes to think they are above such childish scorn over something such as pride. Their mentor then informs them that they don’t need their claws for today’s lesson—Lynxtooth never refrains from using his claws when training Gravelpaw or their brother.

Houndthistle motions for them to sit and they do so, wincing when they accidentally make eye contact with the tom as he asks a question. They think of what Lynxtooth would say. Would their father wish for revenge? Of course he would; Gravelpaw stiffens, mouth twisting into a scowl. They want to get revenge on the SkyClanner who they fought against, the warriors who stabbed the clan in the back and then ran away, the other clans who all want to see WindClan fall. Gravelpaw wants blood spilled, wants to repay treachery with an equal punishment.

But… what is Houndthistle asking them this for? Surely the obvious answer isn’t what the warrior wants to hear, they conclude. They want to know what the larger tom has to say, though. "Of course I want revenge. They deserve to be dead." It’s harsh, but the black-splashed apprentice thinks that it’s fair. They’re a threat, so they can’t stay alive, and that makes sense.
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[ DEATH OF A DREAM ]​

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[HOUNDTHISTLE]

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"​

Houndthistle hums, nodding as his thoughts are confirmed. Of course Gravelpaw wants revenge, their idea of things is limited, their experience small and sampled behind the large calls the warriors and Sootstar spouted for blood, their desire to taste violence palpable. But violence and revenge dance in dangerous places like Windclan and, from Houndthistle's own experience, he could foresee issues arising from so many cats desperate to sink their teeth into others aswell. "Lemme tell ya a tale, Gravelpaw. When I was a youngin' 'bout, oh, little over yer age, 'fore the clans and 'fore the stars came to talk with all the leaders, I ran with three other cats. They were my brothers, not by blood but because we all were jus'... survivin'. One day, one of my brothers is killed... murdered in cold-blood by another group of loners," He began, inhaling deeply, sitting up taller, "Well, me and my other two brothers we went to go get revenge. And between the three of us... we kill't 'em all," He leaned in, tone becoming deathly serious as he met the other's gaze,"All of them. But, my brothers' wounds were too much... and I had suffered majorly. I was knockin' upon death's burrow like it was a fox and I was a foolish hare, waiting to get snapped up." He leaned back, inhaling. His heart ached as he spoke of his brothers, their faces forgotten and their names hushed upon his lips in refusal to dare sully their names anymore. Their names were used to do heinous things, things Houndthistle was guilty of and would carry forever, he didn't wish to disturb whatever spirit they had in their rest.

"That was the secon' time I ever killed cats in cold-blood in the name of revenge... I kill't many who had nothin' to do with my brother's death, cats who were merely survivin' like me and my brothers and in the end... instead of havin' one dead brother, I had three and plenty of blood upon my paws an' scars to show how close I was to goin' with 'em," He mused, motioning to the large scars that crossed his shoulders and hips with a glance. "Y'know why I tell ya this?"
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[GRAVELSNAP]

Houndthistle begins telling them a story, a tale of his brothers. Not brothers by blood—but blood doesn’t mean anything when it comes to family, Gravelpaw thinks. They don’t appreciate Juniperfrost as their uncle, no matter that they’re related. Their mentor tells them about his brothers’ deaths, then getting revenge on those who killed them. Gravelpaw can understand that; they would do the same. And if anyone were to so much as hurt Slatepaw, they wouldn’t hesitate to go after his assailant. But the warrior says he killed cats who had nothing to do with it, innocents, and Gravelpaw grimaces. Their frown only deepens as he wraps up his tale, ending in more death—almost including Houndthistle’s own. Their eyes catch on the older tom’s scars, wondering whether they still hurt, or if the pain is only mental now.

The tall warrior asks why they think he’s sharing this with them. "You’re telling me because…" Their pause is pronounced as they mull over their mentor’s intention. Surely he’s challenging them in some way, trying to tell them that vengeance isn’t the answer? He wouldn’t tell them this just to garner their pity. "Getting revenge isn’t always worth it. You got revenge, but you lost something more important. But… didn’t it feel good?" They cock their head to the side, ears angling backward. It makes sense, in a way, how thoughtlessly seeking revenge for wrongdoing can lead to even greater loss. But if the traitors don’t get what they deserve from WindClan’s warriors, then when will they get what they deserve?
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[ DEATH OF A DREAM ]​

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[HOUNDTHISTLE]

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"​

Good. They understood. Hound listened as they repeated the lesson before they asked a question. Didn't it feel good? He pondered that statement a moment, inhaling deeply. Now that was something he never asked himself, but it was because he knew the answer already. "In the moment, yeah. I was so... blinded by rage and grief, I had set myself on takin' from them more then they took from me... but there were kits there, Gravelpaw. Mothers. Fathers. Cats who paid the price for one fool's mistake who had no idea me an' my brothers existed until we came into their home an' took their lives," He responded, voice a heavy rumble, "I took from them more then I had taken from me... an' I still lost everythin'... Vengeance is a cruel, sly fox, she is. If yer planning on meetin' her, ya better plan on losin' everythin' you have or hope to the stars you ain' got nothin' left, cause you can make yer deal for satisfaction... but will the possibility of losin' everythin' you have be worth it?" He let that question sit, marinating within the air a moment before he could clarify.

"Windclan may still seek vengeance out, that's somethin' we can't help and we must listen to, but if we can avoid personal vendettas... things that blind us to what's important in our lives, well, I can tell ya. You'll keep yer head upon them shoulders for longer," With a playful paw, he aimed to poke Gravelpaw playfully in the chest.
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[GRAVELSNAP]

They are silent as their mentor speaks, continued mention of vengeance and loss. Innocent lives extinguished in a rage that didn’t even get the warrior anywhere except alone. He admits that it did feel good, taking away from those who has hurt his family, but in doing so he also lost what remained of his family. "Do you feel guilty about it now? Is it not good anymore?" They wonder if it keeps him up at night, the memory of what he’d done, what he’d lost. But his words make sense, in a way; there is risk involved, and it’s up to Gravelpaw to weigh the odds of losing it all against the gratifying feeling of getting even.

They huff out a laugh as they’re poked in the chest, concentrated expression fading as they shove lightheartedly at the older cat’s paw. Their voice remains serious, though, as they glance back up at Houndthistle. "So. Personal vendettas. I shouldn’t let my feelings decide things for me?" For all that they’ve lauded themself for being smart, logical, they’re beginning to think that… maybe they aren’t. When Sunflowerkit pounced on their tail, they weren’t acting with logic—they’d been acting out of anger, dumb and useless.
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[ DEATH OF A DREAM ]​

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