private A HEART'S A HEAVY BURDEN ✿ fernpaw

[DOEBLAZE]

✿—— her realization had been uncomfortable and she'd been eager to escape it, to leave the sharp bitter taste of guilt behind. the solution drawn had been swift and decisive—she would throw her focus into the cats around her, into the journey, the quest for lungwort. that would be enough. it must be enough, enough to dislodge the circle of fire pressing into her chest before she returned. she's glancing around, praying for something to distract her.

that's when she remembers - the riverclanner who had rescued her, a reminder built into her still-damp lilac fur. she hadn't even thanked him, she realizes with embarassment, too focused on her own problems (as always). the thought is a welcome distraction and she walks around where cats are beginning to settle down and looking for the small, bright ginger pelt. sage-green eyes sweep across the clumps of cats in the dimming light; the sun is a round burning eye half-buried in the line of the horizon as she shuffles anxious paws in the grass and looks around the slowly-forming temporary camp.

"oh - um, hi. i'm bobbie," her words rush out in a nervous torrent once she finds him and makes her way over, unsurprisingly. despite her best efforts, this journey almost seems to be turning time backwards, making her less than the cat she wants to be, the cat she had thought she was becoming. the kind of cat who wouldn't apologize for stopping to look at the view or sit and take the kittypet insults hurled her way without the slightest hint of protest. perhaps it's the journey - or perhaps it's her new revelation; either way, it is not who she wants to be anymore. sighing lowly, she takes a hesitant seat and mews, "uh - i don't know your name, i'm sorry...?"

"i just - i wanted to thank you for saving me earlier," she murmurs, head tilted to look at her own paws as embarassment burns in her ears. that she had needed to be saved at all is not a point of pride for her and she digs her paws into the ground below, trying to ground herself. "and could i maybe ask you some questions about the whole.....swimming thing? sorry if it's like a - a riverclan secret, it was just very impressive."

NO LOVE, HOWEVER BRIEF (✿) 𝑰𝑺 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑫

• ooc: @FERNPAW !! set pre-rockslide
  
• nothing here, have a nice day :-)
• 
  — bobbie
  — she/her ; warrior of skyclan ; 40 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — chibi by its_oliverr
  — penned by dejavu
  

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[FERNGILL]

Lingering feelings of inadequacy clung to Fernpaw like a fog that refused to disperse. A tightened jaw pulled taut flame-hued features, a face usually set with a charming grin instead twisted into something thoughtful and disquieted. Even as the sky glowed golden, in its most beautiful state, Fernpaw found it difficult to ignore the hurt that still gnawed at him, like the dull pain of a nettle-sting. An undying spirit, though, Fernpaw brightened a little as someone familiar approached him. A pelt of deerish hue, small like him; Bobbie, she said her name was, and he offered her a sincere grin of greeting.

It was nice to properly meet, despite the sting that still bowed his head low. He fought past sore feelings to give her a fair shake, a persistence that he almost felt was pointless. If it still meant he was inescapably worse than everyone else, it was difficult to keep on trying. He would, though. He had to, if only just to prove Iciclefang wrong. "It's Fernpaw," he said, without an ounce of the negativity that thrummed within him. It wouldn't be fair to thrust it all on someone who barely knew him, after all. Maybe if she was a Windclanner...

She wasn't, though, so smiling was easy. He could tell she was nervous, but for what reason he could not place- maybe it was just one of those sourceless things, anxiety that crept up out of nowhere. It wasn't something Fernpaw could relate to, but something he'd seen plenty. When she mentioned swimming, he noticeably brightened, as if lit from within like a paper lantern. Impressive. He'd never been called impressive before, not once.

"Thanks," he chirped, a green eye earnest and gleaming. "Ask away! I love swimming." The way he sighed with the exclamation would likely betray to her his complete sincerity. Though, he was unsure quite how good he would be at offering advice- swimming was difficult to teach with words, and had always been rather easy for Fernpaw.​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[DOEBLAZE]

fernpaw's mew is a refreshing chirp, his earnest expression and sincere sigh a welcome departure from all the looks flung at her collar. from what she can see, the riverclan apprentice is ceaselessly bright, always ready with a charming grin or friendly remark to lift everyone's spirits (or at least hers) with each fresh obstacle, be that a flung twoleg trap or a rushing river. the polar opposite of his ice-eyed, frost-voiced sister, as far as she can tell—iciclefang intimidates her in her own right, which is slightly embarrassing given the young warrior must be half her age at least, but—whatever.

"do you all learn to swim from kits, like ours learn to climb?" she tilts her head curiously, half-tail flicking against the dirt, and explains, "we have a little stump in camp they get their start on, the sunning-stump." sage gaze nearly glowing with impressed interest, the tabby adds, "does your clan learn to fight in the water, too?"

only the sun has come this close ✿ ( only the sun )

• super late sorry :'D

• 

• 

  bobbie ; warrior of skyclan
  x. she/her ; 40 moons ; tags
  x. small, scarred lilac tabby and white she-cat with green eyes
  x. played by dejavu
  bobbie is a kittypet-born skyclan warrior who would die for her clan regardless of whose blood runs through her veins. perpetually self-assessing, she often finds herself short of who she wants to be. skyclan gossip, if it's to be believed, hints at something more than friendship between her and blazestar.

​

 

[FERNGILL]

"I didn't know your kits climbed that young," Fernpaw admitted, entirely genuine. Why would he have known? Enough of his life thus far had been spent focused upon his training- on being a success for RiverClan, long time coming as it was. He wasn't well-versed on the other Clan's happenings- though he imagined if he had admitted his lack of knowledge to Iciclefang, she would have found it ridiculous that he didn't know. That small, unfamiliar rise of bitterness flickered within him again- he rid himself of the feeling desperately, keeping his smile steadfast.

Here, he was face-to-face with someone who only knew him as impressive. Impressive for an apprentice- one she didn't need to know was older than he was meant to be. Iciclefang was known as his sister, not his littermate- socially, at least. "I didn't learn to swim until... I think I was six moons old...? My sister almost drowned, and it... it scared me out of it for a bit." he admitted. It was a long-dead insecurity; now he was an effortless swimmer. "But- yeah, now kits are taken to the riverside really young." Whether they fought in the water... that was harder to answer. And was he supposed to be betraying battle-moves? "We certainly use the water in a fight," he admitted- any Thunderclanner could tell you that!​

✦ penned by pin ✦​