private A LIGHT GOES ON [ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ] FLINTWISH

[Halfsun]

"I hate you" the admission slips from her tongue easier than she had expected, escaping into the frosty morning air with a cloud of smoke that feels fitting for the venomous words spilling from her jaws. The gravesite is filled with trinkets and flowers, an act of love to keep something so clean and well decorated. One of her siblings were responsible perhaps. The older ones, for it could not be Laurelpaw or Thornpaw and it certainly wasn't her. If it were her choice there would be nothing. Why hold on so tight to someone who was no longer here? She supposes she's a hypocrite for that line of thinking but… it was harder when it was someone you actually knew and loved and missed so terribly. All she feels when she looks at the final resting place of her namesake is resentment and bitterness. "They say I look just like you you know" she starts again, words accompanied by a heavy sigh, a broad sweep of her tail that takes pine needles and leaf litter along with it. "There. Now you can't say I never did anything for you" she mutters.

When Ashenfall and Applejaw and all the others came here were they able to picture an image clear in their mind? Were they able to see her even though she had not been flesh and blood in moons now? When she tries to picture her mother all she sees is an older visage of herself. Graceful and beautiful, poised and elegant with a silver tongue. She is all the things that Halfpaw is not and perhaps that is why she hates her. In their eyes, their stories, her mother was a perfect being who could do no wrong, who held no flaws but Halfpaw knows better. No cat was that quintessential.

Her eyes stay glued to the spot, her mouth a firm thin line, and she stays like this for a long moment. The silence of the pine forest envelops her until all she can hear is the sound of frogs singing around her and the dull roar of her own heart. Sharpshadow would be looking for her soon no doubt. But there is a piece of her that is not ready to tear itself away. Not yet.

Finally a noise breaks the silence, a loud crack made even louder by the break of stillness in the air. The sound of a twig snapping behind her sounds and she spins. A part of her expects her mentor to be there, another Starlingheart. Or perhaps it was a rogue, come to pick off another of ShadowClans youth. Instead she is greeted by mismatched eyes and mouse gray fur. "Flintwish…" she says, her voice more of a sigh than anything else and his new name feeling strange on her tongue. "Are you here to visit him?" She asks, nodding in the direction of his brother's grave. "That,s why I'm here. But… I got distracted" she says, gesturing with one gloved paw in the direction of the burial spot in front of her.

Flintwish is another that shares the same misfortune as her, except his curse was far worse. Her mother, at least, hadn't turned on her whole clan in the end. At least he did not have to share a name with him, too. She regards her former fellow apprentice for a long moment, eyes glued to that face she has known since kit-hood. But she had never been as close with Flintpaw as she had with Nettlepaw. Why that was, she has no answer for. Perhaps it was time for that to change. They were so alike, after all. The same demons that haunted her dreams, she could see dancing behind those brilliant blue eyes.

// @FLINTWISH

( ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ) no fake friends, forced smiles, or favors

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  HALFPAW SHADOWCLAN APPRENTICE ; SHE / HER ; SISTER TO APPLEPAW, ASHENPAW, SWANPAW, GARLICPAW, THORNPAW AND LAURELPAW
  

  A fluffy she cat who's fur is half cream tabby, half blue tabby split by white. Her eyes are two mismatched shades of blue, with one being a light icy blue and the other being darker in color.

  ✦ Easy in battle + still learning how to fight
  

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