private a little lost - Flame & Bat

[tigerwing]

Tigerpaw had heard Howlingstar loud and clear. The journey was far away from home. It was dangerous. And that meant they may never come back. She also had heard rather clearly that Flamewhisker and Batwing were going.

And that didn't settle well.

No, they could never return. They would leave Tigerpaw behind. They could... disappear, like her mother did.

It wasn't fair.

So her tail sadly waving back and forth, her teeth biting back the tears that threatened, she'd find them. She'd collect Batwing first. "Come, please," was all she could manage with a shaky breath.

She didn't cry. She was much stronger than crying. She couldn't cry. But the sensation would catch in her throat. Her limbs felt heavy, and her heart was sinking.

As she found Flamewhisker, she put a paw in front of the red Molly. "Follow, please." Her voice was even shakier, Her breaths quicker. The tortie would pull them to a quiet area of the camp, and take an inhale, trying to settle herself.

"I get it. You guys are brave, trying to help. You want to make others better. But you can't leave me. I'd, id have TansyShine. But You can't leave me." Her voice was shaky but rather quickly, tears spilled down her chocolate and orange cheeks, and dripped off her white chin. Her lips peeled back gritting her teeth. "What if, what if you never come back like momma. What if, what if," She could barely manage her words. Her limbs were shaking, and the what ifs ran through her head, but she couldn't speak them.

@batwing @Flamewhisker //

 

[batwing]

He hadn't thought of Tigerpaw when he made the choice. It had been gut-reaction. He owed everything to the clan, to those who healed his wounds before. How could he simply abandon the want and desire to repay that? To do more for his clan then he ever had the chance to before? Tigerpaw called for him, and he picked his limbs up, of which felt achingly heavy. He padded after her, optics half lidded and filled with pre-emptive grief. She was still so small.

And when they found Flamewhisker, Batwing's expression near-mirrored Tigerpaw. Stricken with grief, with guilt. He'd have to tussle with it later, though. His mind was made up, and unfortunately for Tigerpaw, he couldn't bear to stay here, not when he could be out there and helping. Batwing wiped the look from his face before Tigerpaw saw it.

Ears flat, he listened to Tigerpaw speak- no, bumble over her words, cry into them. A shaky breath left him as she continued. And for a long moment, he didn't have words. He did not have anything to fill the air, no wise jokes to crack, no amused grins to give. His brain finally picked itself up, jamming pieces together and using weak sap to keep them that way. "Tigerpaw, I..." He bit his tongue. "Tigerpaw. I know we'd be leaving you, but that is not why we are going."

Did he have any wise words for her right now? No, likely not. Just what his heart felt, just what he could give to her to try and ease this blow. "You have seen how strong Flamewhisker and I are, yes? We'll come back. I promise. Dreampaw will be here, too- you should confide in him while we're gone. He's a good friend." Batwing managed softly, slowly sitting down. He did not know how to comfort her. He did not know what was the right path. He often took blunders and risks long before he took action that was thought out.

Maybe he wasn't cut out for being her mentor, after all. ​

​

"speech"​

 

[Flamestar]

The possibility of not coming back home was a very present thought in her mind. She would not go into the journey naively...there was a very large chance that they would not be returning. However, she had come to terms with it. She had been shocked when Stormpaw had volunteered, but that only solidified her need to go. Whether Stormpaw liked it or not, she would be watching out for her daughter every paw step of the way. There was no way she could stay home, while her daughter traveled far away to the unknown. If anything happened during the expedition she had to be there to protect her daughter, and her clanmates.

Her ears prick when she is interrupted by Tigerpaw placing a paw in front of her, but she knows what it is about. She could sense the sadness coming from her, and it pierces her heart to see her this way. The tabby takes in a long breath, and slowly lets it out. She lifts her gaze to meet Batwing's, and is met with an expression that mirrors his apprentice. Flamewhisker blinks, but doesn't say anything to the tom. She was still deciding on how to approach this.

The fiery tabby follows them to where Tigerpaw was leading, and she would slowly sit down. Tigerpaw begins to speak, and is cut off by tears as they fall down her cheeks. Batwing tries to comfort her, and she allows him to say his words. She stands back up while he is talking, and she quietly pads over beside Tigerpaw, and sits down beside her. Her tail lifts up, and she attempts to wrap it around the young apprentice. Once Batwing was finished, she would speak. "Tigerpaw..." her words were soft, the tone she would use with her own children. "What Batwing says is true. We must go, if we don't, we will lose more clanmates to Yellowcough. We didn't make this decision lightly. Neither one of us want to leave you, I promise. I'm leaving behind Flycatcher and Falconpaw, my only family...I promise you I would never make such a decision on a whim."

She pauses, taking in another long breath. The last thing she wanted to do was show her scared she truly was...she had to put on a brave face, she had to be strong. "Acornpaw will need a friend while I am gone. She is a little shy, but I am sure the two of you would get along great." The lead warrior leaned down, and touched her nose to Tigerpaw's shoulder. "You know how stubborn Batwing and I are, I promise we will do everything we can to make it back." ​

★ born to find that great unknown

• ooc text, delete if not used​
• 
  FLAMEWHISKER of THUNDERCLAN
  LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  — Lead Warrior of Thunderclan ; currently mentoring Acornpaw
  — she/her ; mated with Flycatcher
  — mother to Stormpaw & Falconpaw
  — 24 moons ; ages on the 20th
  — Smells like dirt, old leaves, tree sap, faint hint of flowers
  — will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by Icey ! ; link to tags
  — funny guy art by waluigipinball​

 

[tigerwing]

Batwing started, and he was right. They were strong. But she had also thought her mom was strong. But she hadn't come back yet. And she was sick. She was... did she have this Yellowcough too? Did she...
No, she didn't. She couldn't have. She would be back, she would meet Tigerpaw friends and family. She would see Tigerpaws warrior ceremony.

But was she being selfish?
Their words filled with comfort, but there was a tugging in the young girls stomach. Her cries became sniffles as Flamewhisker wrapped her tail around the tortie, and she leaned in, her eyes kept down to her paws.

"I'm, sorry.." she responded. "You're right."

Acornpaw, Dreampaw, they could be her friends. Emberkit will be an apprentice soon right? She had others here... But...

She sighed softly, her green eyes disappearing behind eyelids. "I just, I want you to come home. I want you to stay safe. I wish I could come and protect you. But, I'll remain here," she gulped. "I'll, keep the clan safe."

She knew she could not make them promise to return. But Flamewhisker said that they would try their best.

 

[batwing]

Batwing winced gently as Flamewhisker took over. Of course she'd be better at talking to Tigerpaw. She's a mother. His throat closed up for a brief moment, welled with emotion, before he started to lock it down. Being upset was not what Tigerpaw needed, but someone confident in their answer. He cleared his throat, nodding quietly towards Flame.

"Flamewhisker is right. We'll come back." This time, when he spoke, his voice was a bit lighter. Was it a mask, or his true emotion? He didn't even know himself. "Emotions are.. high right now, Tigerpaw. I promise we'll be back." Batwing murmrued quietly. Could he promise that? He had no idea. Batwing was a stumbling fool at the best times. What he did know, though, is that he'd be back. One way or another.

"You're a good apprentice, Tigerpaw. I know you'll take care of what you need to." Batwing murmured, stepping forward and pressing a nose to her forehead. ​

​

"speech"​

 

[Flamestar]

Tigerpaw's tears fade into sniffles, and she relaxes just a little. She closes her eyes for a moment, and lifts her chin to the sky while Tigerpaw was looking at the ground. It was taking all she had to stay strong, but she could feel herself faltering. Now that Tigerpaw had stopped crying, it was slightly easier, but only just by a little. She wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye to the rest of her friends and family...this was already so hard.

She reopens her eyes one she feels herself getting a grip on her emotions again, and she turns her attention to the apprentice pressed against her side. "Thunderclan can't send all of it's strong members." she says softly, "Staying behind is just as important. With quite a few of us gone, we need those who stay to hunt and make sure the sick is fed and cared for until we return." There's no telling what could happen while we are gone. Her clanmates had thought of some genuine concerns during the meeting. What if the other clans took advantage of the other's while they were all low on numbers and tried to steal territory? She hoped to the stars that would not happen, but if things got bad enough...she wouldn't be surprised. "The mountains are pretty far away. I am not sure when exactly we will return, but it will be awhile." she wanted to ensure Tigerpaw realized that they would not be returning right away. She had never been to the mountains, so she truthfully had no idea when they could be expected back. The tabby just hoped she wouldn't let the apprentice down...​

★ born to find that great unknown

• ​
• 
  FLAMEWHISKER of THUNDERCLAN
  LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  — Lead Warrior of Thunderclan ; currently mentoring Acornpaw
  — she/her ; mated with Flycatcher
  — mother to Stormpaw & Falconpaw
  — 24 moons ; ages on the 20th
  — Smells like dirt, old leaves, tree sap, faint hint of flowers
  — will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by Icey ! ; link to tags
  — funny guy art by waluigipinball​

 

[tigerwing]

Tigerpaw looked down at her paws as they promised what she hoped they would not. She didn't like being sad. She had to be strong, but even though she tried, she couldn't keep her promises to her mom of being strong for her. But sometimes one couldn't help it. She couldn't have promises be sacred, because sometimes they would be broken, and there was nothing one could do to help it. But they were still promised none the less.

Batwing was right, she was a good apprentice. She really tried, but who would mentor her when she was gone? What if they were mean? But she couldn't think about that right now. No, she had to spend time with them.

"I know it will probably be a while... so can we gather some rocks or something to remember each other by?" She asks, her green eyes pleading and as large as they could possibly be.