private A pillar I am of pride ƚƚ Stagpaw

Houndshade

Houndshade

Lowering your expectations
May 26, 2024
63
4
8
YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MAN​
✦

Something’s wrong with Stagpaw. While she’s normally standoffish and a bit nasty at times there’s an art to it and more importantly they’re not normally like that with kits. Yet they were rather snippy with Beetlekit, while they knew that she cared about training and work. Like a lot they’d never seen it get to the point where she’d but so blunt with a child. Houndpaw had heard whispers about other weird instances like that too where she had lashed out at times where they knew that they normally wouldn’t. She wasn’t sure what had happened but it was like their already clipped attitude shifted for the worse overnight. Any attempts that she made to talk to her went unnoticed too, which was just weird because the chimera never ignored them.

Even when at her most livid she would dignify Houndpaw with some kind of a response, sure that response was a warning hiss or yelling at them in some shape or form but that was a response. There was never… nothing. Houndpaw didn’t like it, quite frankly it was getting annoying- they wouldn’t admit to it being from a place of concern. As the day transitioned into night everyone had found their way to the apprentice den, taking up space in their nests and sleeping.

The chocolate smoke found that she couldn’t sleep though, tossing and turning in her nest until the moss had started to become an irritation to her pelt from the friction. With a sharp flick of her tail they decided that they were going to figure out what thorn was stuck in their friend's paw. Pushing herself up from her own nest she made quick work to pad towards Stagpaw’s, they noted the fresher looking moss in the nest with a smile. That dissipated into a frown as they walked closer and attempted to shove Stagpaw out of her own nest in a mirror of what the apprentice had done to her once before. “Move over, I’m bored” this wasn’t what they wanted to start this off with but if it was the only way to get the apprentice to acknowledge her then so be it. "Come look at the stars with me, it's clear tonight" she doesn't speak like it's a suggestion, rather a demand in an attempt to not have them try and get out of it.

{ @STAGPAW. }​
​

✦
I THINK, THEREFORE, I AM​
 
YOU ALWAYS SAID HOW YOU LIKE DOGS​
they can't sleep. of course they can't. why would they be able to, why would they want to when they have so much to be better on in such little time? what kind of warrior can't hunt? what kind of warrior isn't good at everything? their claws dig roughly into their nest, pulling out pieces of feather, sticks, and moss that all make it up. their eyes are closed, as if they're trying to pretend to be sleeping but that couldn't be further from the truth. they don't expect to be bothered, either. they've made it clear within the past couple days that they do not wish to be bothered by houndpaw. they've even go so far as to ignore her and yet... she does anyways. the sudden paw upon them makes them full on jump out of their fur, tumbling out of their nest, holding back a full on scream, as their eyes widening as they stare at houndpaw.

"wh... what the fuck is wrong with you!?"

she hisses, no longer caring about waking the den before she swallows thickly. if she does that, then surely her parents will hear. take it easy. in and out. breath in, breath out. she stand up and lashes her tail, growling in houndpaw's direction before hurrying out of the den so that she can properly chew them out.

"i do not want to go stargazing with you! i don't want to do anything with you, how have you not taken the hint? was me ignoring you not enough? what do i have to do to get it through your thick skull, houndpaw?! what must i say or do to get you to just leave me be!?"

they snap at her, but even as they do, they seem utterly defeated. the bark in their tone seems hoarse, and their eyes are dull and tired. i don't mean it. please don't leave me alone. please. their inner voice screams but they can't bare to admit their faults right now. they have entirely too many of them.

"tch... just... leave me alone, houndpaw."

she closes her eyes tight before spinning on her paws and moving to walk out of camp. she can deal with the punishment that comes later. she's gotta clear her head and get the hell out of here before she says anything else she's sure to regret.

​
 
YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MAN​
✦

Despite the fact that she was aiming for any reaction under the impression that any reaction would be a good reaction it didn’t feel great to be hissed at. She could shrug that off easily enough because they seem to follow her demand. Houndpaw walks out of the apprentice den first, tail swishing in anticipation and there was a sigh of relief that the sky was actually clear tonight. Truthfully she hadn’t checked to see if the stars were out at all, how embarrassing that would have been if they dragged Stagpaw out here and they couldn’t even stargaze after all. She turns to face them, a suggestion of where to go to sit and watch the stars on the tip of their tongue.

Stagpaw wastes no time grilling her in turn, snapping at her with a weak attempt at venom but venom nonetheless. They’re not usually this blunt with their words, despite the fact that her heart didn’t seem to be truly in it. Their smile falters and against their attempts at trying to act like this was no big deal their ears flatten against her skull, a paw digs at the ground almost pitifully as red hot shame floods her system and takes over any good mood that she can try to muster. She does in the end find a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes but it’s obvious that she’s not as good as hiding how she’s feeling around Stagpaw anymore. Not when the glisten in her eyes and the position of her ears act as a dead give away.

“You know me, I get bored. What am I supposed to do if you’ve been ignoring me?” she counters with a half hearted shrug. They weren’t really sure what she was supposed to say to that, what could they do to get it through her stubborn self that she clearly just didn’t want to be around her anymore. They didn’t know what they did wrong, she’s rude yeah but she doesn’t think that she’s gotten any ruder to the chimera. They became friends, like real proper genuine friends. Stagpaw cried into her shoulder and everything, did they do something wrong that night? Right now that’s all she can think that could have happened to cause the apprentice to be so upset, not just at the clan, but at her specifically.

They should leave her alone, Houndpaw knows that. Yet they stubbornly refuse to let the issue lie there. Hesistant paws are slow to walk after them, they weren’t really thrilled over the idea of leaving camp and getting an earful from it but she wasn’t going to leave them alone right now. “Stagpaw- hey, c’mon I’m sorry for pushing you out of your nest. That wasn’t cool, I get that” is that what they wanted? She’d apologise if they just asked her to, maybe her actions had been kinda brash recently. “Just slow down, please? Can we talk? You’ve been different lately, is it something that I did?” She didn’t know how to fix it but they were desperate to. ​

✦
I THINK, THEREFORE, I AM​
 
YOU ALWAYS SAID HOW YOU LIKE DOGS​
“you know me, i get bored. what am i supposed to do if you’ve been ignoring me?”

stagpaw twitches their ears in frustration at the thought. how in the hell are they suppose to know? find someone else to bother? why is it that she wants to bother them of all cats? couldn't she take the hint that they simply just want to be left alone? no, i don't. i didn't mean that. houndpaw is the only cat that has understood that. to admit they're wrong feels like a blow to their already crumbling pride. they don't want to, even if they truly need to. stars, they're messing everything up before it's even started. they just finally started to call her a friend and here they were, already messing everything up.

she listens to them plead for forgiveness, insisting it wasn't cool of them to push her out of the nest. well, of course it wasn't. but her reaction wasn't warranted, at all. she could have been nicer to her only friend. she could have kindly told her thst she's exhausted and she just wants to sleep, but she couldn't even manage that. she's just so hurt, and angry, and lost– it's unfortunate that houndpaw is close to her at all. they didn't deserve the sharp end of her sword, and yet she can't stop herself from lashing out. i'm sorry that you feel like you need to be sorry. it's not your fault. stop apologizing. stop saying sorry.

"wh...what? why would... would it be something you didn't when you haven't done anything? don't be a mousebrain."

they stop walking when they're far enough away from camp, whiskers twitching as they try their hardest to keep a neutral expression upon their face when they look her over. they're not used to this... to the way that houndpaw looks. her ears pinned back and she looks sad. upset. is this what they looked like to her? they twitched their nose back and forth as they speak up, words more bland than the bones of a bird.

"there's nothing to talk about. i'm just tired. i can't sleep, no matter how much i want to. i just need some sleep. I'll be fine i'll– fuck!"

the sudden sound of some sort of prey running amongst the ground makes her snarl– though she is not loud enough to cause too much of a ruckus out here– spinning around with her hackles raised and her teeth bared. for a moment she doesn't even realize where she is before she forces herself to think. think, damnit! you're fine! is she, though? fear outweighs logic and it takes a few deep breathes for her to think about it logically.

"s...sorry. i didn't mean to scream like that or... or i... can't do this, right now. i don't want to talk about anything. i just want to get some sleep. it's not fair. why can't i just get some sleep? must i be so terrible at everything that i can't even sleep properly?"

they can almost hear their mother telling them so, and their father telling them they're not working hard enough, and their body damn well knows it. they latch on to that. maybe thats why they can't sleep.

"yes, thats it. i need to do more. train more. focus on my hunting. maybe then the stars will finally allow me to sleep."

one quick look over houndpaw and she takes her leave yet again, determined to find something to hunt. she just has to do this. she has to be able to hunt, and then she can finally sleep. fear outweighs logic, and her fears keep her up at night. she knows not how to get rid of them. but maybe... maybe this will work.

"if you insist on following me then you can at least tell me how to hunt properly."

subtle. they don't want her to leave. they need her right now more than they care to admit, but maybe they can get away with the guise of pretending like it's just for this reason when stars know them better than they know themself. and even if they've told her they need her, they don't let her get a word in. even if she does say something, they cannot hear her. they're focused on what's in front of them. their jaw slightly parts and the scent of painfully clear a squirrel. their tail lashes with a grunt and they creep slowly before rushing forward and gripping the small little thing on their rather large paws. before it can make any noises, they crush it's neck with a heavy chomp of sharpened teeth.

for a long pause, she's quiet. she doesn't say a word, as she looks at the dead squirrel that sits in between her claws. a wobbly smile reaches her face as salt falls from her eyes, making her twist to look at houndpaw, a bitter laugh leaving her.

"i... i did it. see... see i can do it! i did it! so why can't I sleep, huh? what is wrong with me? why am i not good enough for them, houndpaw? what am i doing wrong?"

they cannot hold back their sobs. rarely have they ever cried in their life and yet two times out of the pawful of times that they can count, houndpaw has been there. she's seen them cry more than anyone else ever has– ever would. and yet this seems worse. they can feel their heartbreaking from the stress as they collapse to the ground, roughly rubbing their eyes where tears still fall, in spite of them trying to stop it. the pot would always boil over, wouldn't it?

"i'm s-sorry! i don't mean to be m-mean to you... honest. you're... you're my friend. i d-dont wanna b-be mean to you... I just... i want... them to love me."

why was it so hard for her to accept the fact that their love doesn't feel good?

​
 
YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MAN​
✦

In the depths of the pit of wallow that Houndpaw finds herself in as she walked behind Stagpaws non present shadow she stops when they do. Heart making a steady climb out of said pit at their own strange little reassurance, it was brash and ineloquent as the Stagpaw she had grown up knowing. If anyone else had called them a mouse-brain they’d be quietly simmering over it for months but in her standards since it’s stag it was perfect. Just enough for them to be actually convinced that they hadn't done anything. Her ears lift from the burrow they day against her skull, frown still present and brows knit. If she hadn’t done anything then why did they react like that, the question sits at the forefront of her mind and yet she can’t bring herself to ask about it. They find themself pawing at the ground again under the scrutiny of Stagpaw’s gaze, what about her right now had her staring at them like that. Did they really look so pitiful? Under normal circumstances she would try to masquerade her candid emotions, not wanting to look like something to be pitied. When did pity end and care begin though?

They perk up at the sound of the chimeras voice, she picks apart every word to find some hidden meaning laying below just out of her reach. She’s tired and can’t sleep, that seems to have been going on for a while now but has it gotten worse? Was that why she had been so-

The snarl causes her fur to raise, tensing as if she was suddenly prey at the feet of a much larger predator. Her instincts are quelled and she remains though her brain says to run, run, why should she run? It’s just Stagpaw. When things calm they try to search out her gaze, to see if her eyes could explain what was going on when the voice won’t. Yet their eyes don’t meet and she’s left stranded without meaning. “You’re not terrible at everything” her tone is firm but there’s no edge to it, a gentle kindness underneath a stern exterior, not allowing them to try and argue against her on this. “Is that what this is about?” Voice barely above a whisper as they take a step, then two, walking until she’s able to be by their side again. With a slow approach akin to approaching a cornered animal, steady but cautious, she supposes that they were doing just that.

Did they need more moss again? Did that even fix anything the first time? Was it ever about the moss to begin with? She was starting to realise that must not be the case, something deeper had been below the surface for a while now. They seem resolute that the issue was the lack of work, something about not being allowed to sleep. Was it a matter of feeling unworthy? Anger flares in her stomach like the kindling to a fire, why were they so insistent to work so hard? To focus on hunting? Would she not be satisfied until limbs snapped and tendons wore paper thin, muscles stretched taut. Maybe a stint in the medicine den would resolve this foolish notion but unfortunately, or fortunately for both of them Houndpaw cares for her friend. They wouldn’t want it to get that far, she couldn’t bare to think of them in such a state.

The apprentice leaves and Houndpaw follows, lingering closer than before. “What? Yeah I can do that, you hunt just fine though” they didn’t really get it but she was understanding that this was a sore subject for their friend. If they wanted pointers then sure she could do that but they weren’t really sure what they could provide if their mentor wasn’t able to help. They tried to think of the difference between the two of them, beyond physicality anyways. “Have you tried… waiting? Do you find yourself rushing to whatever prey you can get?” Her suggestion is met with silence and they’re slow to realise that this was just an excuse for them to stay. It wasn’t like they’d leave anyways, staying through the sharp insults and the awkward aftermath so why would they turn around now?

They yawn as gold eyes examine the forest around them, staring up at the sky for a moment. They weren’t tired yet she can’t help but to yawn regardless. They sit patiently and wait for Stagpaw, that’s what she liked about hunting. The waiting was peaceful, an excuse to take things slow and have it actually pay off for her. Drowsy eyes widen as the apprentice rushes forward, she finds herself standing to full attendance at it. Attempting to peek around them as she efficiently kills the squirrel and sits there in silence. They weren’t really sure what to say here, finding it better to say nothing at all and let them both experience that tranquillity, hoping Stagpaw was having some kind of revelation right now. When they turn to look at her she’s met with a small smile, only to realise that they were crying. Padding closer towards them in concern that their fears were met and she had managed to hurt herself somehow in this venture. The laugh pushes that concern aside and they stop to be right by their side. Just them and a dead squirrel under the blanket of night.

“Good enough for who? Has someone been telling you that you’re not doing good enough?” Her tail lashes as she tries to think would be mouse-brained enough to say that, maybe Skyclaw? His efforts seemed to focus on terrorising those former kittypets though. Still, the climate right now was rife was bullying and belittling so it wasn’t so foolish to think that someone had been planting these ideas in her head. “Was it your mentor? Some other big mouthed warrior?” There’s a pause before she says “was it your parents? Are they saying that?” They stop their questioning as tears form into sorrowful sobbing, wordlessly she shuffles to their side. Pausing before attempting to bring a paw to their cheek “you’re fine, you don’t have to apologise. I'm still your friend idiot, I'm not going anywhere.” they appreciated it all the same but right now the focus being on her was uncomfortable.

She brings her paw to the ground and instead gestures to their shoulder, a silent offering if Stagpaw wanted to cry on their shoulder like she did last time. They wouldn’t force it right now though, so the silent offering was enough in their eyes. “I know and I’m sorry but there’s other love that is just as important right? Your mentor, your clanmates, me” a quiet confession that they weren’t going to elaborate on, now wasn’t the time but they wanted Stagpaw to know that there were others to rely on. “You’re enough, you’re doing good. If they can’t see it then… then they’re a couple of mouse-brains. Working yourself like this isn’t good Stagpaw, you can’t keep doing this.” It’s a quiet but desperate plea, something has to give and they don’t want it to be her friend's well-being. ​

✦
I THINK, THEREFORE, I AM​
 
YOU ALWAYS SAID HOW YOU LIKE DOGS​
they don't actually know how many of their emotions that they've gone through. way too much, and it all feels so embarrassing as they move their head to rest of the smaller shoulder of their friend. she offered and for once, they don't want to fight it and pretend as if anger is their only emotion. they're utterly exhausted from the whirlwind of it all, but still they cry– albeit a lot more quietly than before. she says that she's still their friend and for the life of them, they can't understand why. they're grateful, stars they don't think they've ever been more grateful for anything in all their life, but they just do not understand why. what was it about stagpaw that houndpaw even liked? it's not like they had a lot of redeeming qualities. if you asked them, they didn't have any at all. and yet, she stays.

she pins her ears back as they say that they know. they do know, don't they? not quite in the same way, but in a lot more ways than either of them care to admit, they're similar on that front. where stagpaw worked herself to the bone to try and get the approval from her parents, houndpaw feels the weight of expectation from their own. both too much for cats their age who should both have parents that love them and want them to do what's best while encouraging their greatness, but nothing either of them did would be good enough. houndpaw is better at pretending not to feel the weight. houndpaw is better at a lot of things, aren't they? maybe thats why she l–

"it's all i know how to do, houndpaw. they won't even look at me, unless I've done something grand."

they sigh, pulling away from her before shuffling their paws beneath them, nervousness kicking up in their belly before they just look at the chocolate smoke in front of them.

"i think the same of you. i think that's... why I've been so upset with you. and not with you but towards you even though it's got nothing to do with you. you're just... really amazing to me, you know? smart. a good hunter. a good fighter. you could work on your attitude but... I've always been jealous of you, even since moss ball. though I really... I don't mean to put you on some sort of a pedestal. you're just... admirable. a good apprentice. and plus, you do know how to make a good nest. makes sense, given how many naps you take in a day."

stars, she's rambling. she doesn't even know why she's rambling. it's houndpaw's fault, really. they're just too easy to talk to. too... calming to her raging sea of storms. damn them for that. she just sighs and brushes herself against houndpaw's muzzle with her own. she just takes a moment to look at them before laughing quietly, though it seems a bit hollowed out.

"it's not fair you keep seeing me cry. you may be my friend now but I don't need you to see me having a crisis every few sunrises."

​
 
YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MAN​
✦

While she was grateful for the lack of a fight over something as simple as offering a shoulder to cry on she had been prepared for one, tension slackens and they let themself relax. Maybe for the first time this night, having been wound up from stress over Stagpaw then from the shock of her outburst. It was nice, she wished that they would do this- be close like this she means, without having to add the drama of heightened emotions and tears to it. Despite her relaxed posture there was a need to stuff some kind of growl deep within her, instead of vocalising their displeasure over her parents they just sneered. “That’s their loss then, you’re grand as is” is what Houndpaw decides on saying finally after taking some time to carefully consider her words.

Because they were, at least to them she was. Stagpaw was a lot of things, they had described her as a brute and a mouse-brain on more than one occasion. But she was passionate, funny, and very considerate despite the fact that they really tried to be standoffish around others. Those were only three qualities, if prompted the chocolate smoke really believes that she could list at least a dozen more. Muzzle scrunches in confusion as they pull away, there’s vulnerability in their eyes as they meet the chimeras, vulnerability over what? She wasn’t entirely sure. They remain silent as she listens to them ramble, unable to stop the bark of laughter at the mention that they could work on their attitude, like Stagpaw was one to talk, she thinks that with a tickle of fondness.

It was weird to hear this confession from Stagpaw. An admission of jealousy, the fact that they admire them. It may not be the intended reaction but she can’t help but feel herself blush from it. They didn’t really know how to feel from being complimented like this, it felt nice though but she wasn’t sure how much of it was because of the compliments themselves or who was saying them. “Nest making is an important skill, you’d nap more if you let me just make you a new nest” she meows with a tease, a sly smile forming only for it to falter when they brush their muzzle against her own.

They can feel their brain stopping momentarily before starting back up again as her ears register that their friend was talking to them. “I don’t mind seeing you cry, I’m here for you. Though, I wouldn’t complain if you stop having a crisis every few sunrises” their meows are quiet, afraid that if they spoke too loud they’d break whatever fragility there was right now. “I admire you too” it’s spoken in a whisper and there’s hesitation before they continue.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re so strong and I think you’re an incredible fighter. Clearly you’re good at hunting too” she gestures to the squirrel under her claws. “I think you’re strong, not just in a physical way. You’re so passionate about the clan and I know you try to not show it but you’re so caring. I like seeing you like that, smiling on the rare times you do, and showing that you care about others. I… I like a lot about you Stagpaw, I like you. I like you a lot, I think you’re well, grand. Incredible really” It was rare for her to ramble as much as she was right now but once she started she couldn’t seem to stop.

“You're more than just a friend to me” that last sentence is whispered so low that she hoped that maybe Stagpaw couldn’t hear it, they barely could themself over the thud of her heartbeat. Stars, was she really going to say all this? Houndpaw averts her gaze from their friend, deciding to look down at the squirrel instead as that seemed like the safer option.
​
✦
I THINK, THEREFORE, I AM​

 
YOU ALWAYS SAID HOW YOU LIKE DOGS​
"...maybe i will let you make me a nest."

she admits. she's so damn tired that she will take anything she can get in regards to sleep, and though there's not really anything wrong with her nest– aside from some of the bits and pieces that she pulled from it in the midst of her turmoil– she thinks she prefers something that houndpaw made. their nest was always comfortable... but was it because it was made by houndpaw, or was it because houndpaw themself was in said nest? she didn't know. she did find herself sleeping easier and better with houndpaw by her side. even when she loathed to admit it– part of her won't ever admit it she thinks, at least not yet– she truly did sleep better beside her denmate.

they're still somewhat pondering her words, when she keeps going. they're listening to it all, they really are, but it's hard to believe that it was indeed their parents "loss." they know their parents love them in some twisted way, they just are so hard on them, it's easy to forget. it's easy to forget that they're not supposed to feel like this. their parents should love them differently, but they're too caught up in making them the best, they've forgotten how. they only sigh before continuing to listen. they can't help it, the way their body tenses as houndpaw says that she admires them too. like houndpaw, they're not used to the compliment and it makes them feel... fuzzy inside. they don't even know what it means to feel this way and yet, they do quite like it. and she continues, rambling on about good qualities that stagpaw has, qualities that stagpaw can't see for themself.

"i like you. i like you a lot,"

"you... what?"

in no way shape or form was this a rejection of the feeling. no. this was... confusion. uncertainty. nervousness. maybe... maybe houndpaw didn't mean it. maybe this was for someone else. it had to be, right? because how could someone like them– stars, have they always been so pretty? wait... what?– like someone like her? she knows what they've said but truly she sees none of it. not a bit. she does not see what houndpaw sees. to stagpaw, she's simply not worthy of any of this. and yet, her heart hammers. her face flushes, and her eyes go wide before she pins her ears back and clears her throat. it keeps going. they keep going. more than a friend. what... what did that entail? and why did stagpaw want to know so damn bad? she's never even thought about the way she's felt so much and now it's all she's thinking about. she does not wish to make them feel dejected, so she tries her best to just gently clear her throat, moving to press her nose against their cheek, though her mix matched gaze does not meet eyes of deep tree bark. at least, not yet. if i look at them right now i... don't know what will happen. why the hell is my heart beating so fast?

"...can you please look at me? please?"

they decide to get some moxy about themself. no time to back down and act as if they can't look at her when all they want to do is indeed look at her. they're not admitting anything. there is no ready confession because honest to the stars, they do not know how they feel. they don't know anything about how any of this works. they need time to think. to realize. and though they're not rejecting her, she might feel like it. they just... don't know. they've never even thought of anything like this before now. everything feels so hard.

"i think you should talk like that more. you never really have been the one to talk but i do like hearing your voice... in spite of what i've said at any point in time before right now. now... let's keep going, okay? i'm not tired enough to sleep and i don't feel like going back to camp. so... stay with me?"

seemed simple enough, right?

​
 
YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MAN​
✦

The confusion in Stagpaw's words froze Houndpaw in place, eyes desperate to search anywhere that wasn't at them in this moment. Despite the humidity and the flustered frenzy she had managed to whip herself into, they felt cold at this moment. The silence they share is deafening, unaware to what the apprentice in front of her is thinking they can only assume the worst. She must be thinking of some way to let them down easy, a kindness that Houndpaw isn't sure she deserves for letting something like that slip in a moment like this.

In turn they were trying to think of a way out of this. Surely she can backtrack somehow, mutter some half thought excuse and turn to leave? It sounded reasonable, at least to her. The feeling of a nose against her cheek only renders her posture more rigid. They're unsure what to say or do in response to that. It was only by some luck they heard Stagpaw’s request and tried to hold onto some courage by obeying it. Hesitantly their gaze shifts so she can meet theirs, there's a thought nestled deep within that they must look pitiful right now. Houndpaw is certain that by this point she'd rather flat out rejection in comparison to this uncertain limbo.

There's no quips or witty retorts to their words, only quiet enraptured attention as Houndpaw tried her best to take these words at face value. Despite the desire to dig deeper beneath the surface to try and find some hidden rejection or recuperation. It's perfectly in the middle, perfectly uncertain. So despite the twang of pain echoing in her heart she snickers at the thought of every time Stagpaw had told her to shut up or some other half hearted insult. What would that kit think now hearing this from herself?

“Yeah, yeah. I can stay” she meows on an exhale. While it would be easier to just leave them with their thoughts, Houndpaw was selfish. She had no desire to give up on this alone time. Deciding to mirror the chimera's previous action by pressing their nose against her cheek. Something to let them know that it was fine that a decision hadn't been reached as she herself didn't know what to do.
​

✦
I THINK, THEREFORE, I AM​

 
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