A PLACE TO REST [ auburnflame ]


SkyClan had been a hurricane the past moon and it was hard to deny that it hadn't affected Silversmoke. Space in the den had become limited, he was surrounded by cats that didn't know the first thing about living in the wild, old enemies and best friends had returned, and his apprentice was about to graduate. Goods and bads swept together like a storm, it was the first time since the shelter cat's arrival that Silversmoke had felt able to breathe. Time alone had been a priority up until his large paws exited the camp, then, time with another replaced the introverted thoughts. Auburnflame's face, burned into his brain like a memory that would never go away, a nagging guilt in his heart that, despite sharing prey and exchanging the occasional conversation, he'd never gotten the chance to sit down and properly talk to the calico after their argument. Legs curled closer to themselves as he remembered that day, the insistence that he wasn't alone, that he needn't break promises, that he still had a friend even if his sharp tongue had gotten him into trouble with them. He wished the word friend did not feel so acerbic, he'd never felt so comfortable around a so-called 'friend' before.

But, it was a status he knew he would have to get used to. The calico had made his disinterest clear and Silversmoke didn't want to push past that boundary. He hoped learning more about Auburnflame wouldn't make him feel worse about it, but it was something he needed to do regardless. Their lives hadn't started on the same path, it seemed like Auburnflame's had been full of flowers and sunshine with his full of spikes and darkness, he wanted to understand what made his friend the way that he was, just as he was certain Auburnflame would want to know more about him. Spotting the fire-coloured tom presumably returning from a patrol, his mismatched eyes briefly widened as he called out his name. "Auby-urn flame— Auburnflame." He cleared his throat, his ears growing hotter than greenleaf metal. Professionalism had already flown the coop, all he could do was pray to the Stars that his clanmates had not paid attention to the blunder. "Do you have time to talk? It's—" Not that important, but important to him. The selfishness made him reconsider. "I'd like to talk to you about something."

@Auburnflame
 
Patched paws had been anything but idle as of late; with the return of clanmates and now new clan mates, Auburnflame had been quite the busy warrior. A patrol here, training there with Sparrowpaw, then giving out a helping hand to the once shelter cats, the warrior hardly had time to make any time for himself. He had half a mind to obscure himself, to dissappear within the boughs of the pines in order for some peace and quiet. During this time, he'd often see Silversmoke in passing, their schedules never seeming to hardly line up with one another until finally when the sun would set to twilight and everyone would return to their den for the evening. Apart of him wanted to crawl up to the silver tom, just an effort to be close with him even if Silversmoke was swathed within his own dreams or even to poke at him for a late night chat. He missed ha ing his friend around him, that yearn to see silver spotted fur and those tantalizing heterochromatic eyes. Just for a moment to breathe, the tom would sigh silently.
He's returning from another hunting patrol, sending Sparrowpaw on their way to dispose of their kill and a voice suddenly pipes up from amongst the crowd. A voice he'd been pleading to hear.
Auby-urn flame—Auburnflame.

Auburnflame's helm swivels towards the origin of the sound, a magpie clutched loosely within his jowls to see the lead warrior trotting over his way. Speckled cheeks pinch and pull, revealing a saccharine smile beneath the ruffled bi-colored feathers of his catch. He smiled so hard that his cheeks already had began to ache and the warrior would saunter over to Silversmoke to greet him. His steps were light, as if walking amongst the clouds above and his heart fluttered at the sound of his name upon the ghostly tom's tongue. He missed his presence dearly. He wanted to bad to tell Silversmoke how he felt, to spew it out in front for all to hear without a care in the world, but he'd not be foolish. Silversmoke probably held no reciprocated feelings for the calico, and that was fine. As long as he had his dear friend with him, all was right in the world. Dropping the magpie along the pile, he turns back to him with a teasing smile. "Hey, Silvy!" He trills, of course Silversmoke wasn't getting away with that type of hiccup. Auby, how cute is that? He meets the lead warrior with a gentle muzzle against his cheek, a crimson tail curling with excitement as their cheeks touched. "Sure! What'd you wanna talk about?"

[ SETTING FIRE TO THE SKY ]
 

Even when his face barely changed and the days were dreary, his spirit felt as if it grew wings whenever he saw the calico's smile. Its warmth was strong enough to melt newleaf snow, and each fraction of time he got to see it was another memory he would cherish until his dying days. His ears grew hot to the touch as Auburn reciprocated a nickname, the two tufted appendages falling to the sides of his head. Silversmoke cleared his throat, pointing his muzzle downwards to hide it somewhat amidst the tempest of fluff he called a chest. An involuntary purr escaped him as contact was made, the spotted tabby reciprocating with a tentative head nuzzle as if uncertain he was allowed to show such affection. He spotted the corner of Auburnflame's smiling visage once again as they asked him what was going on and immediately, he felt his stomach twist into knots. Silversmoke nudged into the calico a little, hoping to direct his attention to a quieter corner of camp where they could have a conversation.

When they were there, the Lead Warrior's fur was flat against his body and his gaze began to wander to anything except Auburnflame. As much as he wanted to be able to look at them, he was taking a leap in trust he had never taken before. "I... Good StarClan why is this so difficult." An apologetic glance was flashed towards the calico before he went back to surveying the camp, grounding himself with visages of a plump fresh kill pile and trees that arched gracefully over the bramble thicket. 'This is important... this is how I know you are the right cat for me... no, damn it Silver stop getting your hopes up.' Finally, he spat it out. "So... a while back, it was established that I've pretty much been alone all my life. That's true but... I never explained how that came to be." It was not quite the love confession his initial shyness may have made it out to be, but to put your faith in someone unconditionally was some type of love regardless, he believed - and that love was just as important as anything he'd seen other cats share.

"My mother was a kittypet, my father was some common rogue, I.... was born a kittypet. When I was given away to some Twoleg, I escaped at the first chance I found and tried to go back home but... they were gone, they'd moved away. I'd been lost for days at that point and the first kittypet I asked for help attacked me. I lived as a rogue after that, scavenging what I could until I had the strength to hunt, hunting what I could until I had the strength to fight. It was when I thought I had the strength to finally defend something that Slate appeared and reminded me that my roots are poison." He didn't care to be a good cat (just a right one), but it startled him knowing how bad he could've been had life worked out differently - complacency was a villain, he had yet to meet a kittypet that wasn't the least bit complacent sitting in their homes whilst young strays starved. His paws bunched closer together, his head slightly tucked between his shoulders as a melancholy frown settled upon his maw. The truth was supposed to be a liberating thing, so why did he suddenly feel like his burden had doubled? It wasn't fair to give someone else that secret as well.

He took a deep breath as he lowered his voice. "I'm not telling you this to get pity, I just... I want you to understand me better, I guess. I would love to understand you better too but please, don't feel you have to share just because I did."
 
Once he heard the rumbling of a purr from his silver counterpart, his own would rumble in reply—but Auburnflame's would be much louder and confident, not caring whether or not anyone heard them. Silversmoke made him happy, made him feel welcome and safe. The calico could only hope he felt the same way, albeit a darkness pricked at the back of his mind—self-doubt and insecurity. As the lead warrior drew back, Auburnflame would stand there as he spoke. He seemed so—conflicted? As if a cacophony of different emotions brewed within him. Was he okay? The warrior's sunlit smile soon faltered, once pinched features now softening into an expression of concern. Silversmoke moves and nudges him forward towards a more secluded part of camp, wordlessly telling him to follow and so he did.

"What's on your mind, Silver?" His crimson brow arches into a quizzical one, searching the sharp angles of the spotted tabby's face for any inclination of his mood, though he sees nothing unfortunately; only the fact that Silversmoke refused to meet his gaze. Auburnflame would step forward, reclining back onto his haunches and curling his tortoiseshell tail over mismatched paws and his head cocked in question. He listens in silence as Silversmoke finally begins to speak, frantically searching for a foundation in order to start the conversation. What could it be? He involuntarily wonders, leaning in more to give the lead warrior his undivided attention. When he does finally speak, the mention of his upbringing is the topic of the conversation. He doesn't know why, but the calico feels a twinge of relief and stifles a sigh. I thought this was going to be something a bit different. He's surprised, but relaxes himself as he listens with a small smile engraved upon pink lips. He thought it was sweet that Silversmoke wanted to reveal his past to him. "Go ahead."
It doesn't surprise Auburnflame that Silversmoke's story was one of loneliness and a fight for survival, being a rouge was never easy. He had never lived within the walls of Two-Leg Place, but living amongst the groups before the clans had been no easy feat in itself. Life wasn't so fully of happiness and sunshine, even if the calico feigned it to be. Behind a brightened smile was a young tom that had also fought for what he had, and unfortunately he's also known the grief when losing a loved one. He wasn't completely succumbed to loneliness, following Orangeblossom around and sticking by her side. They had grown close, amongst now her younger siblings as well. He has family, but Silversmoke? He has no one but his clan mates now. They were his family. His lips purse into a slight frown, mimicking the other tom's own melancholy. Auburnflame shuffles closer to the larger tom, aiming to press their flank against his own.
"You're not alone anymore, Silversmoke. You never will be as long as you're apart of SkyClan." He leans his head against the nape of Silversmoke's neck in effort to offer some sort of comfort. "And, you'll always have me. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not." A bit of laughter passes through his lips, minty eyes attempting to meet his own. "I get it, you know. Our loves aren't really that different. My father was a kitty pet, Tazmin. My mother lived among the pine group with her siblings. My father was something like a Day Light warrior back then, always coming in the day—returning at night to his Two-Legs." The crimson and white tom sighs, relishing in his memories. "My mother, Leaf Shiver, was Heavy Stone's sister along with Blazing Dawn. She was a kindred spirit, always full of love and kindness but fierce in the right setting. I was born to a litter of three: Me, Feather, and Wisteria. Unfortunately, Wisteria didn't make it—she fell ill and passed." His tone grows quiet as the faint memory of a white kit refreshes within his mind, sickly and gaunt and swathed in mint with wisteria flowers. Auburnflame's heart sinks, a wash of grief brewing within him like a green leaf storm. He never got to hardly know her, never would get to see her until it was his time. The warrior sighs, clearing his throat before continuing. "Both my parents fought in the Great Battle, as did Heavy Stone and Blazing Dawn. Me and Ora did as well—never have I seen so many lifeless bodies and blood spilled, including my father's." A surge of fierocity now blazes within his chest, a kindling flame that grew like his namesake. "He may have been a kittypet, but he held the heart of any warrior hhere. He died protecting my mother, died protecting me. He could have turn tail and ran, went back to his home—but he didn't. He fought as if StarClan itself was at his back. But he succumbed to his injuries." Pallid eyes froze now, icy and sharp as he stares at his counterpart. "That's why I do not tolerate when others look down upon kittypets. It's like someone spits on my father's grave. I get that he may have been a rarity, but to me it shows that he never let his roots stop him from his family. I vowed to myself that I will carry on that legacy of courage, and if it came down to it—I'd be happy to die to the same fate. Saving someone I love."

[ SETTING FIRE TO THE SKY ]
 

No judgment. It was the first thing the silver tabby noticed as the other absorbed his words like moss. There was no snickering remark or smug contempt, and he wondered why in StarClan's name he'd expected such things in the first place. Their embrace felt like a kiss from fire after such a moment of vulnerability, it took a while for his fur to stop bristling and for him to realise that he would not be burned by it. Eventually, he pushed himself into Auburnflame's affection, gently rubbing his cheek against the calico's own neck before they parted to continue their conversation. The corner of Silversmoke's mouth twitched upwards in amusement. "I suppose there are worse cats to be stuck with," he concluded, slowly blinking as he tried to say 'thank you' when his muzzle could not. He rest his cheek in his own chest plumage when Auburnflame mentioned a life not too dissimilar to his own, confused, but staring attentively as their story began. It seemed normal at first, family connected to family, then the death of a sibling was mentioned and it all seemed to turn to ashes.

He listened with a revered silence, body leaning forwards as if ready to embrace the other with affection at any moment. Silversmoke had no idea of the weight that the tortoiseshell had carried around for so long, it was damned near close to a miracle that his friend hadn't turned into a bitter husk of a cat. Muscles slacked as he learned the fate of Auburnflame's father. "A true SkyClanner then, even before we knew the term existed." He muttered, feeling a twinge of guilt for his previous judgments. Death for one's home should not be the measure of a cat's worth, but rather how hard they fought. It was a strange catharsis to know that Auburnflame defined his father by that strength rather than how he was killed. "If it ever seems like I hate your father for what he was born as... it's not true. At least... I don't want it to be. I care more for how a cat can serve their clan than what cannot be controlled, but loyalty is important. To be a Daylight Warrior is to have conflicting loyalties, yet, it's clear that's not always the case. I... am glad to be wrong sometimes... glad to be wrong here."

He gave Auburnflame's words some thought, finding himself honing in over and over again on the legacy of courage. It was difficult not to think about the dog fight and how quickly Auburnflame had jumped in front of him. 'Saving a clanmate', the other had called it at the time, now, he found conflict in the statement. What if....? 'Love for a friend, idiot.' He cursed himself, his nod solemn from grief and his own rebuttal. "I'm.... sorry I couldn't meet him. If he's with our ancestors, he will be looking upon you with pride, you're..." Silversmoke's ers slowly rotated backward as he tried to find the correct words. His friend was infinity, so many things he could say that would fit into an apt description of the calico and yet they would never reveal the biggest picture of all - that he was a presence that made the size of the Stars pale by comparison. With a flick forward of the same tufted appendages, he let out a content exhale, his sigh reverberating with a purr. "SkyClan is blessed to have you. You have a big heart, Slate is lucky to share a piece of it." He tried not to sound too bitter as he said such things, especially so soon after a heartfelt discussion.