a rose by any other name | private

[Dandelionwish]

He wasn't sure what he expected when he pressed his nose cold against the smooth blue stone, but it wasn’t this. It wasn’t opening his eyes annoyed that nothing happened only to find himself outside of the highstones. It wasn’t looking around across the tall grass of the moors that didn’t seem quite right to find Sootstar, only to realize she was no longer there. It certainly wasn’t lifting his head to the sky and being overwhelmed immediately by how much closer the stars seemed, as if he could stretch his neck up and dip his head into the ethereal sea moving above him. Drenching himself in starlight and the universe.

Dandelionpaw was shocked into silence, struggling to orient himself enough to take things in with a more keen eye. The tall grass felt like the softest of furs, the curl of a mother’s tail looping over newborn kittens, the warm lean of a shoulder into yours. It shimmered like it was cloaked in dew, but as he moved the faint sparkling rose up like dust that settled heavy in the area; starborn clouds wafting upward into a fine mist of dazzling lights. He almost wanted to cry, everything here was so beautiful, the immediate impulse to close his eyes because he felt like he wasn’t supposed to see this was there but it was overshadowed by desire to know. To learn. To take it all in. This was StarClan. It was real. There was no denying it now, no hoping with an aching heart that his actions would have meaning and there was a purpose to this life.
It was all real. All of it. Every last bright dancing light like lost fireflies swelling around him as he walked blindly forward through the ethereal field was bringing him closer to the edge. He wanted to break down onto the comforting ground here, cry, because it was all true.
What he finally did notice, after aimlessly wandering the small area around where he woke, was how empty it was. How devoid of life. When a cat passed away they went to StarClan, the great battle had claimed countless lives and over the past few moons they had lost several of their own; so why did he stand alone. Was this a rejection, was the lack of another cat’s presence, their resounding and deafening ‘no’ to his new lofty title that he never once asked for. Did he not, at least, deserve a face to face refusal.
The chocolate masked tom was dizzy, so many complex emotions all striving to be at the forefront of his mind so desperately that they entangled with one another and threatened to choke him; he was in despair, he was furious, he was lost, he was still awestruck by how vast and amazing this place was. This celestial playground for the departed.

“What….what do I do?” He finally asked, voice rising up as if he need only be louder to gain attention from someone, anyone, “‘What do you want me to do? I can’t be enough!”
He didn’t know so much still, he was only one cat, he’d been abandoned by blood spilled and he wanted to scream his outrage but it died inside him before it could froth and foam to the surface.
“I don’t know what I’m doing!” And ever louder, “What do you WANT from me?!”

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[ROSEPAW]

" Follow the stars and they will guide you." A voice suddenly appeard from behind the new medicine cat, his voice soft and kind just like they would remember him like. Rosepaw was seated on top of a small rock not far away from where Dandelionpaw was like he had appeared from thin air. The wind blow through his curled red and cinnamon fur while his head was turned up towards the sky to glance at the stars. Even if his fur was the same like when he had been alive he was shinning with stars in his fur, and any living cat could look right through his none existed body. But so to speak, Rosepaw was shinning just like a star. It took a moment longer before Rosepaw would face his friend with this familliar eyes. A soft smile was upon his maw, but inside he felt for his friend. The agony, the despair, the feeling of being all lost and alone...he could feel all of Dandelionpaw's feelings like they where his own. But he shouldn't be afraid. Starclan was here for him and they always would be. They would not let him face all of this on his own. All he needed to do was follow the stars.

" Hi...Dandelionpaw." he his expression changed as he greeted them just as shyly like he always had. Dead or not Rosepaw remained the same if only just a bit more wiser now when he was dead. THe smile remained the same, soft and kind. If anything he felt happy that he get to see them again even if it only was for this short moment.


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[Dandelionwish]

Twin brown ears flicked upward at the voice, his panic making him process the familiarity of the tone slower than normal but once it registered he would whirl around with wide eyes; this place was so strange, he swore he had been facing that directions moment before only to find the world shift around him as if rather than forcing him to walk it simply delivered itself to his paws.
"Rosepaw!" He was alive?! No. No, he wasn't and even as Dandelionpaw's face broke into a smile the realization cut him down. This was StarClan afterall, that Rosepaw was here meant there was no avoiding the thoughts any longer. His presence here rang of finality back home and any attempts at refusing to believe the truth were ripped from him swiftly. But...
He had made it here. He was here in this place that looked so cold and brittle yet felt warm and welcoming with each step. The chocolate limbed tom moved forward through the sparkling grass, neatly hopped himself up onto the smooth stone alongside the celestial tabby and sat down. He couldn't help but stare, it felt like so long ago that he and the red apprentice were walking side by side to gather flowers and herbs while Duskfire lead the patrol to investigate the hawks; both green and gold eyes glistened but not a tear fell. Dandelionpaw didn't want to ruin this meeting with his depressive thoughts.
"...I'm sorry I couldn't save you..." It was a little strange seeing a StarClan cat for his first time, yet it was a cat he had also grown up alongside; the strangeness of the other tom's transparent form was lessened by his shy smile. "...I never got to thank you either-for trying to help me..."
The hawk talon scars on his back had healed but his heart hadn't.
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[ROSEPAW]

Rosepaw smile remained until the point Dandelionpaw jumped up on the same rock as him to stare. Only starclan know a dead cat couldn't blush, to feel heat underneath thier fur...but if he could...Rosepaw would have felt hot under his fur right now. That staring look was making him feel...nervouse and his smile turned even more shy, timid and he looked down at his paws with butterflies in his stomach. It was a shame he never got to tell them his feelings but what good would it do now?. No, he had died with his feelings buried and that his feelings had died along with him. A living cat shouldn't hear a confession of a dead cat. Rosepaw would never put a such burden on a living cat, especially Dandelionpaw.

He would glance up again, blinking his starry eyes at the apology. Rosepaw would shake his head at them. " There was nothing you or anyone could have done....my fate was already written in the stars." he said although he held regrets about his death. He wished he could still be there with them but it simply hadn't been his story to live for long. He had to accept that. Now instead he was gifted to watch over them all in the sky to help other cats fulfill thier destiny. He could still be helpful, to be of use.

" You did. I was there. I heared everything." His voice grow softer, more carefully placed. " I want to thank you as well for burying me. Thanks to you i was able to found my way to starclan. And...the flowers you placed on my grave. They where very pretty." He said with warmth. To think he actually had gone out of his way to get this flowers for him. Rosepaw smiled. Still, that wasn't enough, was it?. He would lift up a paw and like magic a dandelion flower would appear inside of his paw. " Do you wanna know why dandelions always has been one of my favorite flowers?." He asked but before he waited for them to answer he lifted the dandelion to his mouth to blow the seeds away and across this place. He watched them get taken along with the 'wind' and his smile grow brighter again as he turned his head to look the medicine cat in the eye. " It's said they can grant you a wish, and what are we without our dreams?. Wishes make us hope for something better to happen in the future even in our darkest times..." Rosepaw was one who knew that very well. He had always hoped his wish would come true one day, he still did. Hopefully Dandelionpaw was getting what he was trying to say...



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[Dandelionwish]

"I'm glad you liked them."
So StarClan truly was watching them at all times or perhaps only on occasion. Either way, he was glad to know his words had gotten to the tabby somehow. How much had he seen, had he watched everyone in the clan fall apart after his death, did he see them overcome the hawks? A multitude of questions rushed through him but he held them back, there was no point in overwhelming the other with what was bordering nonsensical things.
Did they all have a predestined fate though? Had Rosepaw been born with the stars already knowing he would not have made it to adulthood? That he would die before being given his full name. It was unfair, he didn't like to think such things were preordained, he was adamant he could change things.
"...I would've called you Roseshine. You put the stars here to shame..."
In a field devoid of flowers he watched one appear and marveled at it intently before realizing what it was, his namesake flower. The flower that lead him to his interest in herbs, that made him want to know more.
"...your favorite.." The chocolate-masked apprentice muttered quietly, uncertain and feeling his fur prickle with embarrassment; he had no idea the flower so blatantly called a weeb might be one of Rosepaw's favorites. He was pleased to know, warmed by it even, and at the question he could only shake his head in confusion because he couldn't guess the reasoning up until the red tabby exhaled. The tiny seeds scattered, the pale cloud of the dandelion puff erupting into pieces and drifting around them and he watched with wide green and gold eyes. Wishes. He knew there was a little story that said if you blew all the bits off a dandelion and made a wish it would come true. Wishes were the whimsical ideals of kittens who dreamed of something more, so many cats lost that desire to them fulfilled as they got older but he recalled his conversation with Coldsnap out in the moors; how a cat needed to put their faith in what they believed in, that things could change. That things would change. So long as there were those who would fight for it.
"...I promise you.." The point tom felt his throat tighten, he felt lost when Honeytwist was sent away; when her folly caused him to be abandoned but now he felt a sliver more hopeful, a bit more capable, "I promise I will see WindClan to a better future...whether WindClan likes it or not."
If he had to fight Sootstar tooth and claw every step of the way he would.


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[ROSEPAW]

Roseshine....He had tried to be brave up to this point but now his smile faltered as a sad look crossed his face. That was the same name Leechpaw had suggested when they had talked about thier warrior names. "I think Roseshine would fit you." But then some warmth started to hide itself in his gaze. "You put the stars here to shame." Once again if a dead cat could blush he would have in that very moment. His whole face would have been red, even his ears would have burned. " I would have loved that name..." He mumbled quietly, a moment of shyness taking over the starclan cat. Did that meant he thought he was pretty?. Ah such thoughts...this feelings, they where not welcomed within him anymore.

It glad him to know that Dandelionpaw had understood what he was trying to say to them. That some sort of hope was sparking inside of them once more. A cat like Dandelionpaw should never lose thier light. Rosepaw smiled again, that almost never ending smile. He gave a nod to them before he stood up. It was time. His eyes grow more serious, more adult-like." Dandelionpaw, i'm sure you know why starclan has called for you here today.. I Rosepaw, have got honored in the name of starclan to stand before you to hold your ceremony to become a full medicine cat of windclan to contunie where Honeytwist left. You might be young and have not trained under Honeytwist for long and while this all have got brought upon you so suddenly starclan knows you will be the one to heal windclan in this difficult time. With our guidence you will serve windclan as thier healer, care for anyone who is in need, be windclans link to us there you will receive messages from us your ancestors that you will share with your clan. "He took a pause to let this sink in.

" Do you Dandelionpaw promise to uphold the honor of a medicine cat, to not let other clans rivalry against each other cloud your responsibility as a medicine cat, and protect all cats equally even at the cost of your own life?." and now he had to wait for Dandelionpaws reply.



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[Dandelionwish]

He wondered if he was allowed to talk about this to anyone, he wondered if he could tell Duskfire he was not a failure of a mentor, tell Leechpaw he did not need to worry because Rosepaw was happy and alright and would wait for them all, tell Coldsnap that it wasn't all for nothing. But a part of him felt it blasphemous in a way to speak in detail of what he was experiencing, he felt as if it was meant for him and no other cat, but he put it in the back of his mind that he, at least, wanted to help his clanmates move forward as best they could.
Despite his apprehension, he was glad Sootstar had bullied him into coming here. He'd wanted it, but he'd been afraid. He needed to know, but had put it off out of uncertainty, but now knowing that StarClan truly did choose him and he was not just a second thought was enough to ease most of concerns. His fear seemed to melt away, how could he be so blindly stupid while standing amidst stars themselves? He was fine. They accepted him, approved, thought him capable. Watching his friend be so serious was a little funny and it got him smiling again, perhaps Rosestar would have been a better name. A kind leader, a caring cat, if only he could soften their own leader's heart even a small degree.
The point tom turned to stand as well, head bowed slightly to not tower over the smaller apprentice; it struck him then that he'd always be taller than Rosepaw now and he wasn't sure how to feel about it but he refused to let the uneasy thoughts sink in.
"....yes. I do." And he did, with as much certainty as a lone, mortal cat could even possibly muster; even if he had not been accepted by StarClan it is the same future he would have strove for regardless. WindClan's peace would come in his lifetime and only then would he be content to die.

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[ROSEPAW]

" Then starclan welcomes you as the new medicine cat of windclan under the name Dandelionwish. May you serve the clan for many months to come." His smile widen and grow as brightly like the stars, his eyes shine with pride for his friend. If his whole face not showed it Rosepaw wasn't sure what else could. For a moment he would let the new medicine cat of windclan take in his new name and let everything sink in over what they had said. Finally Rosepaw took a step closer to them. The serious starclan cat he had been a moment ago had faded away and back was the sweet Rosepaw everyone on the moors had known. " I...don't have much time left. Starclan is calling for me." which meant it was soon time for Dandelionwish to wake up as well and return to the moonstone. Rosepaw could already feel how his transparent form wanted to return back to the stars.

" But there is something i wanna say first. I know you have a rough path to walk in front of you...But i want you to know you are not alone. Starclan is always watching you and if you ever feel lost search for us in the stars, in the trees...in the preys. We will give you signs." he paused as he attempted to rise a paw to place it on Dandelionwish cheek, warmth burning in his gaze. " And if there ever will come a time when that's not enough...never forget you have friends. Friends are not meant to only share happy memories but also sad ones..." He let his paw fell back down to the ground, and he started to back away and his form started to slowly transform into stars. " Life is so lonesome without friends..." He knew that very well. Before he had come to the moors, before he had befriend Leechpaw he had have no friends. No one had dared to be his friend because of his siblings who either chased them away or bullied them for spending time with him. No one had dared to approach him because of that until...he had meet them. Leechpaw,Dandelionwish,Duskfire and Coldsnap. They had made his days so much more joyful. They had all granted his wish.

Rosepaw transparent form had almost completely reformed into stars now, and only his face was still intact. He for the last time looked at his friend, and he smiled brighter then ever before. He then closed his eyes. " Thank you Dandelionwish for being my friend. Lets meet again someday. " And as his star like tears fall from his face... the last of Rosepaw that was still remaining transformed into stars and like that he was gone...and soon Dandelionwish would wake up as well.


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