a shimmer in the shadows [open/joining]

[Shimmerpaw]

WENT FACE TO FACE WITH ALL OUR FEARS
LEARNED OUR LESSONS THROUGH THE TEARS
MADE MEMORIES WE KNEW WOULD NEVER FADE​

---

Sam had been to a lot of places in his short four months of life. From the time he and his littermates were old enough to travel, thats all their mother had them do. The forest, the moors, twoleg place, the farm- the young ginger and white tom had seen it all. It wasn't a horrible lifestyle, especially when you considered the fact that Sam loved to explore his surroundings and investigate new things. He was a curious boy with a mind that demanded answers to the questions he had, and wandering around with his family had certainly taught him a lot. He knew that you could walk right along the edge of the thunderpath in clear sight of the monsters and they wouldn't veer off course to hit you. He knew that there were tunnels scattered across the moors that were great for playing hide-and-go-seek-tag in so long as you were careful not to get lost. And he even knew that the farmers had so many cats that you could walk right into the place and make yourself at home- so long as you didn't chase anything but the mice and rats.

In theory, Sam figured he would have liked that life just fine if the reins had been entirely in his hands, but as it was, that simply wasn't the case.

You see, Sams mother had not been a nice woman. The shecat was impatient and restless, and while she had never physically harmed him or any of his siblings, she had a unique way of making them all feel as if they were ruining her day simply by being there. They were always being to loud or too rowdy, taking too long too long to catch up or asking 'stupid questions'. And while she fed them and let them share her nest with her, Sam always felt as if he was burdening her. Ever time she bristled her fur at them or let out one of those deep sighs, he'd be reminded that the only time he was ever truly smiling for real was when she wasn't around.

And maybe, it was the same way for her as well.

He couldn't pretend to understand the complicated inner-working of another cats mind. He was still young after all, and on top of a lack of experience he didn't really know enough about his mother to judge her. And quite frankly, he was willing to bet it was a two-way street.

And so Sam had simply wandered off. It wasn't unusual for him and his siblings to wander off to play while their mother rested and this time he simply hadn't gone back. He didn't think anyone would miss him, and his mother had been dropping hints that they would all be going their own way in a few more months anyways- Sam had only sped up the process.

And that was how the bright, speckled tabby had ended up along the Shadowclan border. He'd never been to such a wet forest before and of course his curiosity had gotten the better of him. The white sock markings on his legs were matter with mud and a few random streaks of dirt marred his otherwise bright orange and white pelt, but Sam didn't seem to mind as he made his way along, hopping up to walk along the length of a fallen tree covered in moss.

​

---

shadowclan apprentice - male - 4 months - single - a speckled orange and white tom with blue eyes

 

[betonyfrost]

POST CODE

• Even before, when the world was wider and Betonyfrost had been free to travel where she pleased, she never ventured far beyond the edges of the marsh. As ugly as it is, as beautiful as it could be, Betonyfrost has never been able to leave it behind, even if only temporarily. With the forest now divided into portions for each clan, borders just as absolute as they are imagined, the world has a way of feeling smaller. Betonyfrost has never wanted to go elsewhere before, but now she doesn't have the option.
  
  It isn't often but, on occasion, Betonyfrost finds herself at the border, wondering how it would be to walk with the sun on her back or with a thick layer of dry leaflitter under her paws. She wonders if she'll see a cat from one of the bordering clans again.
  
  Then-- movement. Betonyfrost startles and turns in time to blink up at a stranger poised atop a felled tree. Betonyfrost never knows what to do in situations like these. Her decision is made easier when she realizes it is only a kit.
  
  "Hey there," Betonyfrost says upon approach, visibly uncertain, "You-- you're pretty young, right?"
  
  It's a stupid thing to ask. Betonyfrost grimaces.
  
  "Nevermind, just-- do you have a parent around? Someone to take care of you?" She prays the answer is yes. Betonyfrost doesn't care for kits, and the clan has more than enough. This one is mudslick enough to fit in with the rest of ShadowClan, would he prove to be alone, "I'm Betonyfrost. If-- if you need help finding someone, I could find someone to help you."​

• "[color=#ddafeb][b]speech[/b][/color]"

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 14 moons | tags​

 

[Shimmerpaw]

WENT FACE TO FACE WITH ALL OUR FEARS
LEARNED OUR LESSONS THROUGH THE TEARS
MADE MEMORIES WE KNEW WOULD NEVER FADE​

---

Blue eyes went wide in surprise as he suddenly found himself with company. The boy stiffened visibly as the grey shecat came into view, trying to gauge her reaction to him in that brief moment of silence that hung between them. He had been around many cats in his life, some of them kind and others not so much, and sometimes it wasn't always easy to tell which was which. As excited as he'd been a moment ago to have discovered that the forest smelled of cat, actually seeing one seemed to put things into perspective for him. Sam was not a large cat even by his ages standards. Compared to the Shadowclan cats he was short and lithe, sturdy from a lifetime of travel and strong in the legs, but he didn't really have much else going for him when compared to the larger cats of the marsh.

To his surprise, the shecat sounded almost as uncertain as he felt in that moment, which actually made him feel a little better. Uncertainty was better than hostility.

Seeing a chance to keep this encounter on the nice side, Sam was quick to oblige the female by answering. "Oh- no, that's okay. I take care of myself." he explained, tone cautiously polite as he regarded the older cat. "It's nice to meet you though, Betonyfrost. I haven't heard a name like that before- it's nice!" he added, finding that there was more of a ring to something like that than there was 'Sam'. All of his family had been named rather plainly by their mother, who'd been an ex-house pet in her earlier days. Her own name had been Sasha, his siblings Benny, Lilith, and Charlie.

"My name's Sam. Is this your forest? How come it's so wet here?" he inquired, the question slipping forth as he began to feel more comfortable with the shecat, his initial shock having wore of and her apparent kindness enough of an invitation for him to press his luck a little. Despite being a little timid with strangers, Sam wasn't really the antisocial sort. He liked interacting with others, found it passed the time a lot better than entertaining himself, and he wasn't above letting himself get distracted by a total stranger in the woods.
​

---

shadowclan apprentice - male - 4 months - single - a speckled orange and white tom with blue eyes

 

[smogstar]

In the days of yore, long before the establishment of the clans and their laws, Smogmaw came and went as he pleased. Though his allegiance lay with the marsh group and he played the part expected of him in the colony, it'd been far easier to simply slip away from everyday life and disappear for a short while. He distinctly recalls the river's gentle roll during the first days of Leaf-green, how its placid simplicity eased his nerves. That sense of individualism evaporated when Briarstar brought the borders into being - and the tabby became trapped in the most lacklustre territory of them all.

All things considered, though, Shadowclan isn't so bad. They didn't adhere to some cultish doctrine like those in Windclan. There's no self-righteous stick up their rear, as is the case for Thunderclanners. The group hadn't shut themselves off from the outside world, which couldn't be said for Riverclan. And they didn't sully the idea of clanship, unlike the 'daylight warriors' of Skyclan. From what he gathered during his tenure in the swamp, Shadowclan is staunch, uncompromising, and unyielding in its values - what little rules existed were followed rigidly.

Well, in most cases. There appeared to be some leniency when it came to non-clan cats who obliviously wander onto their territory, so long as they remained under an age threshold.

Betonyfrost's figure stuck out like a sore tail along the rim of the clan's territory. The tom's attention would not have been garnered, if it weren't for the fact she seemed to be speaking to someone. Someone short, of a punt-able stature. Having heard of how Sweets' joining unfolded, Smogmaw reckons that the little one is looking for a place to stay.

He puts a little spring in his step, trudging quickly towards Shadowclan's furthest reaches. When he gets there, spotting the little unfamiliar face perched atop a fallen tree, it's just in time to catch the kit's concluding questions.

"Yup, this is our forest," he remarks, indifference marking his expression. "We usually eat little ones like you, but I'm not hungry right now. Try coming back later." His words are in jest, obviously, but he refrains from embracing the young one with open arms. He's not a member of the official welcoming committee, or anything like that.

​

[ AND THE BASTARD WALKS BY ]​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

there was no way. this could not be happening. with a growl, they approached the scent of the others, simply watching with raised brow and saying nothing. at this point, their clan would be overrun with cats that were too young to even see three paw steps in front of them. they needed to accept some older joiners... some cats who could damn well provide for themselves and didn't have to learn. even sweets, who had caught a few pieces during their time here, had so much to learn about clan life. chilledgaze was an tired of children. they didn't even like the furballs, and yet here they were... always damn joining shadowclan. with a huff, they only looked st this cat named ... sam. what an odd name.

"you ask a lot of questions... if you take care of yourself so well, why walk right into a wolf's den, hm? if you were as good as you thought, you would have noticed the scent marks. but you didn't. so what do you want, kit? i haven't all day."

they weren't being nice... they knew that. but if this kit cowards over a little bit of tartness in their voice then shadowclan would not be the place for them... espeically given their track record with other clans right now.
​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[Halfshade]

Stars above, were they really all so barbaric as to act this hostile to what was basically a child? Halfshade's steps were swift and her expression one of stern disappointment as she stalked forward with a confident strut and her head held high. It was a mercy to this kitten she was nearby hunting, frustratingly pawing at a hole a lizard had darted into with the hopes it had no other exit and might dart into her outstretched claws. No such luck, or perhaps she didn't wait long enough, but something about the thinly veiled threat to eat a kitten at a distance had her abandoning her current task.
"Oh thank goodness you were all here to save us from the threat of-" She paused as she arrived on the scene, a paw to her mouth thoughtfully as if genuinely thinking of what to day but the sarcasm dripping from her sultry purr was anything but subtle, "-literally just a kitten." Bravo, stupendous, bless StarClan they were spared the menace suffering the agony of having to answer a few innocently ventured questions from a little scrap of fur too young and naive to know what a wolf's den was let alone that he'd wandered into it. A lesson in tact was overdue for several of her clanmates. She felt very much like a disapproving mother watching her kits speak rudely to a stranger and if they were her kits she'd have grounded them for this. Unfortunately, the most one could do to her clanmates and deputy was stare and shake her head, mismatched eyes narrowing and nose wrinkling in irritation.
Betonyfrost was at least trying, failing, but trying-though she had no hope for Smogmaw and Chilledgaze's approach whatsoever, if they wanted to scare the little one then they were doing a magnificent job and she showed her teeth briefly in a sign of disdain.
But for the child her smile was wide, friendly, her words spoken with a soft edge like the trimmed lace of her own glossy pelt, "Hello, Sam was it? An adorable name, mine used to be Catherine but they called me Cat!" She shook her head with a laugh, "Both a name and description I suppose!" Far be it from her to refuse a cute nickname though, as silly as it was. It was certainly less of a mouthful than Catherine but perhaps less so than Halfshade. "As my clanmates so forcefully explained-this is ShadowClan and you've accidentally trespassed! If you'd like I can take you home or perhaps you've not a home?" If this was a lost child with no parents then they would not be turning them away certainly and if they did she would have words, which was just a fancy way of saying claws. She would have claws. Just because their leader was unhinged didn't mean they had to match it.



​

 

[Shimmerpaw]

WENT FACE TO FACE WITH ALL OUR FEARS
LEARNED OUR LESSONS THROUGH THE TEARS
MADE MEMORIES WE KNEW WOULD NEVER FADE​

---

It was not the shecat who answered.

Baby-blue eyes shifted to land on a pair of toms slipping forth from the trees, and large ears would twitch backwards in visible uncertainty as the darker of the pair let out an audible growl as they neared to join Betonyfrost. He was doing his best to stay on the side of optimism in assuming these cats wouldn't hurt him - they couldn't all be bad if Betonyfrost was passive toward him- but he couldn't help but feel nervous as two new pairs of eyes began to scrutinize him, neither looking particularly friendly or fond of his presence. It left him with an uncomfortable itch under his skin, too akin to the looks his mother would shoot his way.

The tabby tomcats words were intimidating, but in them Sam could sense the notes of humor- he just wasn't sure if they were trying to laugh with him or at him. "Um, I don't think I'd taste very good. Not really enough meat on the bones." he offered in reply, trying to force the notes of humor into his words beneath his nervous smile.

A smile that fell when the black tom finally spoke.

Any attempt at forcing himself to believe these newcomers might be nice was smashed when the older cat began to speak, and his nervous smile instantly fell. Had he offended this cat somehow? "I-I only meant that nobody looks after me." he replied, gaze shifting nervously toward Betonyfrost in hopes that the shecat would defend him before shifting back to the angry marsh cat. "And I don't want anything. I'm new to around here and I was just exploring a little when I saw the forest. It looked kinda of cool so I was just checking it out."

He was quick to offer up an explanation, not wanting the irate cat to think he had any kind of sinister motive. He'd really just been curious about the damp marshland and had wanted to get a better look.

Much to his relief, help would eventually come, and it would do so in the form of a calico shecat. She was last to arrive on the scene but didn't seem to lack an air of authority, quickly making her way over and scolding the two toms with a confidence that Sam would have only ever possessed if made truly angry. As she turned her attention to him, he felt at once more at ease. She spoke to him kindly and with a relaxed posture that silently assured him he was safe in presence, and while he still hadn't come down from atop his log -having the higher ground put him at ease- a little of the tension bled from his lean muscles as he smiled back at her.

"That's pretty funny!" he remarked with a soft giggle, the pun not lost on him. " But if that 'used' to be your name, does that mean you changed it?" he asked, wondering if the shecat had ot enjoyed having such an interesting name.

As she went on to explain to him exactly where he was and what he was doing, a bit of understanding began to down on the young tom. Oh! They're angry because i'm trespassing. The thought caused a bit of guilt to spread within as a bit of justification was suddenly brought to the unhappy tomcats and the uncertain shecat, and he quickly dipped his head to them in apology. "I'm so sorry! I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to be here. All the places i've been to that had other cats never seemed to care that I was there, as long as I respected their personal space."

The farm and the barncats instantly came to mind, along with the strays and kittypets of twoleg place. None of them had ever cared that he and his family had been in the area so long as they didn't interfere with the general going on of those already living there. This idea of something being 'claimed' was new to him, but he understood well enough to he had, indeed, offended them by walking in like this.

"And I don't really have a home. My mother was a wanderer, so we never really stopped in one place for two long." he explained. "I thought we were all going to keep travelling together, but she said me and my siblings were old enough to go our own way now, so that's what I've been doing." he said this very casually, as if it were commonplace for a queen to abandon her children in such a manner. Of course, Sam wasn't entirely helpless. He may not have been built physically strong to defend against other cats or predators, but he figured that would change in time as he grew- and besides! He was pretty damn fast. Worst case scenario, he could run like hell from any danger that popped its head up. As for food, Sam couldn't catch anything fancy like birds or squirrels, but after roaming twoleg place and the barn he found he could manage to catch the odd mouse or shrew here or there if he really put his focus and patience into it.

Of course, Shadowclan didn't have to worry about him stealing their prey; his bright orange and white coat left him sticking out like a sore thumb among the gloomy, dark scenery.
​

---

shadowclan apprentice - male - 4 months - single - a speckled orange and white tom with blue eyes

 

[PITCHSTAR]

pitchstar has called the marsh his home from the moment his lungs drew in breath. he has never truly dreamed of leaving, bound to his kingdom by the loyalty ingrained into his malleable young mind as a kitten. but is it not in a feline's nature to wonder what life would be like, in a home more forgiving? where prey is plentiful, the air is pure, and the water is clean?

it's true, pitchstar would sooner die than leave. (he thinks it is the masochism, the need for that reminder he is alive by the process of hurting. a life too easy would be torturous.) but, like betonyfrost, sometimes he finds himself staring a little too longingly past his kingdom's invisible walls. it is an unconscious action which he always beats himself up over afterwards, hissing at himself for his traitorous thoughts.

the days are growing colder, and as a byproduct, these instances are growing in frequency. pitchstar is crouched near the edge of his swampland, his brows pinched together in a brooding expression and his gaze distant. his clan would be on the brink of starving, soon. they always are in the cold season. and, as he always is, pitchstar will be unable to do anything.

it's this feeling of helplessness that drives him a whisker's length closer to that dangerous precipice in his mind.

voices force him back into the realm of the waking, the glaze in his eyes lifting ever-so-slightly. on days like these, pitchstar would've typically ignored the voices. allowed them to continue on, blissfully unaware of his sulking. but there's an unfamiliarity to one, in particular. childlike in nature. his hackles rise on instinct, sucking in a sharp breath. fuck's sake, not again. not now. he's just taken in a child, he can't afford to take in another.

but, traitorous as his mind is in this state, he imagines if it was one of his baby siblings he turns away. he imagines them shivering, bellies growling, abdomens sunken in until all that's left are the sharp edges of ribs. and, with his paws joining in on this treachery, pitchstar rises and skulks towards the source of the voices.

the rosette tabby arrives in time to overhear the tail-end of the kitten's explanation. how his mother had abandoned him and his siblings before they'd barely even begun life. heavy-lidded eyes are oddly soft, melancholic, yet bitter all at once. no true mother would leave a child to die. pitchstar has known a mother's love, once, and this is not love. "no home?" pitchstar echoes with a frown. "pity. you're much too young, too naive..." he trails off, his gaze sharpening suddenly. if he allows this to happen, he'll only be taking in another mouth to feed. he'll be taking away more prey from his clan, during such a crucial time.

yet, in this unfamiliar child, pitchstar sees his own little siblings. imagines slitherkit- no, he'd be slitherpaw by now- standing at windclan's border, coated in his mother's blood. what could've happened if he'd been turned away. and it breaks him far too easily. "shadowclan will never turn away a child. we can be your home, if you so please."​

 

[betonyfrost]

POST CODE

• As it goes, Betonyfrost is neither able to explain this kit's trespass or drive him off. A braver version of herself may have agreed with Smogmaw-- declared that even if Smogmaw had eaten, maybe she was hungry. She could have gotten rid of the kit before Chilledgaze could arrive, and he would have never been a worry for them. But Betonyfrost, despite the ever-present anger that sits low in her gut, is never brave. She lets Smogmaw and Chilledgaze speak because she would mess up her intimidation, and she never seems to know which loners are okay to show teeth to.
  
  Halfshade goes and talks to the kit, and quite suddenly he isn't just the kit. She addresses him by name, calls him by what he had introduced himself as: Sam.
  
  It occurs to Betonyfrost that Sam wasn't likely to be capable of caring for himself. Driving him off would be sending him to his death. The thought doesn't jolt some sort of sympathy from Betonyfrost's chest, but it does bring a certain awareness to her. Shouldn't she care? Shouldn't she try and preserve his life? But Halfshade seems to be the only one to care-- Betonyfrost casts an uncertain look to Chilledgaze, and then lastly to Pitchstar, but she's never been good at looking away from Chilledgaze for long. When her eyes find Pitchstar again, he's already invited Sam to stay.
  
  "It's your choice," Painfully neutral. If she could just be-- without this complicated twist in her heart. That braver version of herself would have told Pitchstar that Leafbare looms, that this isn't their problem to fix. She had been willing to stick her neck out and help Sam find his mother if it meant being rid of him, and yet the thought of her clanmates knowing she has an opinion on anything stills her to the point of uselessness.​

• "[color=#ddafeb][b]speech[/b][/color]"

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 14 moons | tags​

 

[Shimmerpaw]

WENT FACE TO FACE WITH ALL OUR FEARS
LEARNED OUR LESSONS THROUGH THE TEARS
MADE MEMORIES WE KNEW WOULD NEVER FADE​

---

It was almost as amazing as it was unnerving, to see cat after cat emerge from the muddy undergrowth to join him on the 'border', as they'd called it. He hadn't realized that cats grouped up like this outside of places run by the humans, having fully expected the woods and moors to be filled with wandering rogues and loners like his family. And maybe it just spoke to his age and naivety, but he'd honestly thought that the only option he had was to just keep living like he had been; always being on the move and never really having any friends. Most cats didn't want to leave their homes to wander after all, and nor did they want a passing loner to settle in full time.

And so, when the newest tomcat to arrive on the scene was suddenly looking at him with something Sam had never seen before -sympathy- he felt something in his chest tighten just a little. No cat had ever cared enough about his situation, be it bad or good, to spare him a look like that.

Shadowclan will never turn away a child. We can be your home, if you so please.

To be honest, Sam didn't know what to say to that. He hadn't come here expecting an offer to stay fulltime, and it suddenly left him having to decide just what it was he wanted. Did he want to keep wandering by himself? He loved exploring, and meeting new cats was always fun, but it was a dangerous, lonely lifestyle that often left him with little time to enjoy himself, constantly having to look for his next meal and a sagfe place to lay his head for the night. The last week had been one of the hardest weeks of his life- but it hadn't been horrible. And then there was the alternative; staying here. He would have to stay in this damp forest and probably wouldn't be allowed to wander as he pleased anymore. There would be rules to follow and a heirarchy to respect. But it would also keep him fed and warm. It would give him cats to talk to on a regular basis and a whole new territory to explore- one that would be his to defend and take care of.

Both sides had pros and cons, but in the end he found the allure of the unknown was a cup he couldn't help but drink from.

"I've never been a part of group like this before." the boy admitted, gaze shifting to nervously meet Pitchstars. "But I think I'd like to stay, please."

He was aware, despite his age, that this was kind of fucking insane. Yes, his mother had a tendency to lead their family into groups of strangers quite often at the barn and at twoleg place, but she'd always seemed to know exactly where she was going and who she was dealing with to some degree, even if she didn't know the cats specifically. Sam had forgone any research whatsoever and just dove straight into something he had zero knowledge about, and now he'd essentially agreed to join a band of strangers, half of which seemed entirely unhappy to see him there.

One thing was for sure- if Sam had been looking for a new adventure, he'd certainly found it.
​

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shadowclan apprentice - male - 4 months - single - a speckled orange and white tom with blue eyes