camp A THOUSAND RESTLESS NIGHTS - pushing self

[GLEAMPAW.]

RiverClan is not okay. Gleampaw's sacred innocence is in tact, her battle skills not good enough, not meaningful enough, and not impactful enough to do any good in either of the fights. She has not seen the horrors of the battlefield firsthand - she only knows the effects, the wounds, the devastation.

It isn't fair. It never will be fair. And she hates that she can't do anything other than try and gather food, try and boost spirits. She's only one cat, her three or so moons of training have nothing on the warriors or older apprentices that have done what feels like more than she could ever even accomplish. Still, Gleampaw wants to desperately to carry the weight of a whole Clan on her back, to do something useful, something she deems enough.

But she's tired. So very tired of pushing herself, so very tired of the nightmares that plague her dreams at night. Maybe she should take a day off, try and rest and remember that beautiful sunset, the reason she was given the name she has. But she can't bring herself to do so, even if it's the logical option, even if the exhaustion is obvious to anyone that has a sliver of intelligence.

Instead, she forces a smile, blinks away the desperation for rest in her eyes, and heads out of the apprentices' den to find something productive to do.

Because she's fine. She has to be fine for those that aren't.

"Speech"​

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LIGHT UP THE SKY WITH SPARKLING HEAT!​

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[RAVENSONG]

Locked inside his own existential crisis over the reality of being invaded by not one, but two different Clans within a moon, Ravenpaw could not sort through his emotions clearly after it. He had never had a clear vision of what path he would tread, but the battles had shaken what little remained of that path. He felt very much alone in a winding forest with enemies at every corner. He would count down the days on his paws to when ShadowClan would decide to cross the Thunderpath and snag a piece of RiverClan.

Surely wiping out an entire Clan would be displeasing to StarClan?

He is still half asleep in his temporary nest, one eye blinking open at Gleampaw's exit. He jolts up slightly, wondering if he had overslept, though surely Darterwing would have said something. "Where are you going?" He whispered after her.

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[SMOKESTAR]

All of the apprentices seemed dejected since the attacks, since they had faced several losses back to back in addition to their camp still being this rickety hovel of barely held together weaving and broken bracken borders. The softer of them are roaming around with glazed eyes and heavy paws, swept away in their own grief and uncertainty. The stronger try to persevere despite it all, pushing for something to change, for anything to happen to offer them some sense of solace. And Smokethroat is not sure what to do to help, he is not exactly the epitome of comforting, nor does he know how to handle himself around the youth and often enough his gruffness tends to send them scurrying elsewhere. But given he too is stuck in this camp and miserable as all hell, he will at least make some kind of attempt to aid in lightening spirits. Seeing Gleampaw of all cats, usually so bright and cheerful, seem almost sullen was jarring enough on its own and he glanced back to Ravenpaw curiously noting the oddity himself from within the lopsided temporary den before standing from where he'd taken watch to follow along.
"Wandering at night are you? Can't have an apprentice alone doing so, but if its work you're looking for I've plenty to offer." It was spoken in a considerably less rough tone than his usual rumbling timbre of a voice and it was an offer of an overseer for any ventures out. They didn't let apprentices leave camp alone, but if he was there then it was fine. He was not so injured still he could not guard a few young fools.
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[GLEAMPAW.]

Ranvepaw's voice breaks her out of her hazy thoughts and she stops, but it still takes a moment for her to register what exactly has been said. As soon as she's made sense of it and opens her mouth to speak, Gleampaw is interrupted by Smokethroat. Her gaze flickers from her fellow apprentice and to the lead warrior, blinking rapidly just so she stays awake.

When she finally has sorted out her thoughts, they come out slowly.

"I didn't have a destination in mind, I was going to maybe clean up around camp until someone needed help," she softly says, stretching in place. "But since you have work, 'm happy to assist. I'd rather... not be alone with just my thoughts right now. If I keep busy, maybe they'll just... go away."

It's not going to happen, they won't just go away forever. Gleampaw knows this. But if she works with Smokethroat, maybe, for just a while, she'll be free from them. So she readies herself for anything she thinks the lead warrior can throw at her.

"Speech"​

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LIGHT UP THE SKY WITH SPARKLING HEAT!​

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[Cindershade]

It was no secret that RiverClan had been at the mercy of not one clans selfish antics, but two clans. Cindershade had been recovering from her previous battle, unable to aid her clan while ThunderClan takes over Sunningrocks. She had been made to stay and camp, forced to rest and let her clan mates defend their territory—but they had lost. She's still steaming over it, still seething at how weak ThunderClan was to make their move while River still recovered—driven from their home from the flood and out in the open with no streams as fortitude to save their home. All they had now was the bits of what was left of their home now under the Beech Copse, broken bracken and bramble still trampled and shredded; tendrils strewn out along the grassy clearing. Howlingstar was weak, a pitiful excuse of a leader in her eyes—just as Sootstar was. StarClan forbids her, had rejected her at the Gathering and yet she merely manipulates the situation to aid in her favor. They were all disgusting—leeches they were.
The lead warrior is pulled out of her late night thoughts as she's settled along the mouth of the medicine den, blended in seamlessly against the darkness as voices enter her ears. She makes out Gleampaw and Smokethroat, him questioning where she was headed off to. It wasn't only Sablepaw that was feeling guilty of their losses, wishing they could've done more in this than they had. Young cats they were, experiencing just how hard clan life could be and how merciless the other clans were. She felt a pang of sympathy for her own apprentice who was struggling, her own self doubt bringing her down and trying to blame herself over a death she had no part in. It seemed Ravenpaw and Gleampaw felt the same, it was evident in their movement and the dull light behind their usual glimmering gaze.
Cindershade pulls herself up slowly, being careful to not strain her muscles that itched to run and to fight. She grew antsy from her recovery, but she was near fully recovered. She'd always be grateful to Beesong for that. The molly saunters over towards them, her tail swaying in sync with her soft steps. "If it helps you to speak of your thoughts, then do it child. No sense in holding it in. I am sure we all share similar feelings right now." She interjects, coming to stand beside her fellow lead warrior. "I'll come along and help as well. I've seen the inside of these walls for far too long." A dry chuckle passes over her tongue, a glint of humor hidden within her glowing irises.

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[ SILENCE IS DEAFENING ]​