private after xanax i'm still wired } downypaw

[RATTLEHEART]

AS HE RAISED HIS FIST BEFORE HE SPOKE — Rattleheart had been slightly unsure of what to think when he had been asked to take Downypaw on as an apprentice, knowing full well that he would be - even if not intentionally - snatching the young tunneler away from Sootspot. He really didn't feel much regret over that aspect of things, but he did know that Downypaw likely had mixed feelings about it. That was why, after the last of Sunstar's announcements was done, the newly-made lead warrior had made his way over to where the seal point stood, tail lightly flicking against her side in order to grab her attention. "Downypaw. Walk with me for a minute? I'd like to talk about your training." That wasn't the entire truth, but it was at least close enough to it for him. He waited only a moment for her answer before he turned, lengthy strides carrying him through the recently repaired heather tunnel and out onto the moors. It felt like a good idea to have a conversation away from the prying eyes of others - particularly their former mentor.

The snow all around them was already starting to melt, moor grasses tickling lightly at their legs before he finally turned and settled into a seated position. The sun was shining down on his back, dark fur soaking in the warmth as he gave a casual roll of his shoulders. "So. What has Sootspot gone over with you so far?" The practical questioning came first, sounding vaguely foreign on Rattleheart's tongue even as he said it. He knew it was necessary to know what he was working with, but it still felt wrong when he had become so constantly focused on the emotions of the cats around him. The apprentices especially, considering how much they had already been through in such a short time. Downypaw was still so young, yet they had already seen their home nearly torn in half before their eyes. "...And how are you feeling? About everything?" He intentionally leaves the question open-ended, letting Downypaw focus on what she wanted to talk about first. The sudden shifting of the clan, the loss of her former mentor, the simple weight of apprenticeship on her shoulders - it was all equal in the older tunneler's eyes.

@downypaw

THE RIGHTEOUS HAND OF GOD 𓆩♡𓆪 THE DEVIL THAT YOU FORGOT

• 

• 
  ❥ longhaired black and white tom with pale green eyes
  ❥ 48 moons old; ages the 1st every month
  ❥ afab; uses he/she/they pronouns
  ❥ homosexual homoromantic; mated to venomstrike
  ❥ sibling to scorchstreak, lizardbounce, and rabbitclaw
  ❥ currently mentoring downypaw
  ❥ somewhat difficult to befriend; wary but kind
  ❥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ❥ peaceful powerplay allowed
  ❥ all opinions are ic

​

 

[downyfur]

The touch of a long, lemur-ringed tail against her flank is the softest whip she's ever known. No surprise lights the oceanic depths of their gaze as they turn, only a resigned little smile offered as they meow, "Okay." She keeps her gaze glued to lines of soot down his back as she follows, quickening her pace to keep up with startlingly long strides for a cat who should be just as small as her. He doesn't wait for her, but she doesn't expect him to. Sootspot never waited for them either, and still they are unsure whether it was to maintain the power balance between mentor and apprentice, or simply a Sootspot thing.

Rattleheart is still little more than a stranger to them, another truth they'd relinquished to Sunstar. And yet, maybe that wasn't so much the truth as it had been a half-hearted attempt to protect him, from Sootspot's wrath and from having to deal with Downypaw's inevitable slew of mistakes. Rattleheart had been one of the first cats to welcome her into the scattered fold that comprised WindClan at the Horseplace; she remembers the gentle, open smile that had graced slender jaws and the tender chill of a soot-stained nose between her ears. Stopping for her was just a mentor thing, she concludes. Maybe the tunneler was simply efficient with his experience too. StarClan knows they haven't done much of any warrior work in the past couple of moons. And if StarClan knew, then a lead warrior could go figure.

When the black-and-white warrior slows, so do they. They note the casualness in the roll of his shoulders, forced or not, so similar to the way Sunstar had presented himself with the very same question upon his tongue. Downypaw vows to do better this time. "Only the basics," they meow, continuing to stand where they are. She does a shoulder roll of her own, hoping to dispel some of the real tension in them and give the appearance that it'd never been there at all. "It's been some time since I did anything though, with, you know..." She sheepishly flicks her ears back, a gesture to "well, everything." "I know how to dig, but I'm still not really sure how to not cause a collapse, and..." they begin to explain, trailing off at the realization of how much they have yet to know. That they still don't know. Would Rattleheart admonish her for it? Would he look down on Sootspot for it? Better not to show any failure at all. "But I know some things," she adds, almost insistently. Hopefully he wouldn't ask her to explain in greater detail.

Thankfully, he moves on to another question, one that weighs on them equally. "Fine, I guess." They glance down, shrugging. "It happened." So many dead. Just like that, the past two moons are over. Like it was all just a bad dream, except remembered so much more clearly. Their bottom lip suddenly feels very big and fat. "What..." They swallow. "What about you? How are you?" It seems polite to ask.​