all my theory complete || gillpaw

Sep 11, 2022
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// this takes place before all of the windclan attack stuff !! @GILLPAW <3

➵ Leaf-bare is over.

They'd survived the harsh months, somehow — now new leaves and life spring forward and those left alive are here to see it, to celebrate. Clearsight strolls through the flooded territory with Gillpaw on his heels, seeking somewhere good to train. It's been awhile since a proper lesson in the water; they must both be rusty. (He knows the whole of RiverClan's fishing is rusty, at least — StarClan help them.)

Gillpaw is so much older now. He's seen battle and he's seen death; he's nearly full-grown, too, and stronger than Clearsight could have ever imagined. No longer the tiny thing whose excitement peeked over the edge of his fear — now almost a warrior.

"I thought today would be a good day to get our paws wet again," he says, as they arrive near a shallow spot. A rivulet broken off from the rest of the flood, deep enough to get their bellies wet but not to drown anybody. He prepares to see... hesitation in Gillpaw's eyes. Fear. Twice this river has nearly taken the boy's life. But they are RiverClanners, and the world won't wait for them to gather themselves — not with WindClan frothing for war on their borders, and hungry kits at home.

Still. "I won't rush you," the blue tabby says gently, one pair of golden eyes seeking out another, hoping to offer comfort. "I know that it's difficult, feeling safe in the water again after... after something like that." Nearly dying, he doesn't say, unwilling to think about how close it had come. "We have the full afternoon. Come on — " He takes one step into the shallows, just two front paws underwater. "Just two paws first. Deep breaths. Can you do that?"

He hopes he isn't being too gentle. His fellow mentors have let him know he has a tendency to coddle, and he never seeks to patronize, he just — he just never wants to risk hurting the boy. Because no matter how big or how strong he's getting, Gillpaw is still just that: a boy. (Even if he won't be much longer.)

Clearsight picked a sunny day for this, checked that the water would be on the warmer side, waited till after sunhigh to escape the morning chill. And he's got a few battle moves in mind to practice, in case it does go better than expected.

& we've all got battle scars ✗
 

With each day that passes, leaf-bare drifts further away and Gillpaw's warrior ceremony draws closer.

And, Gillpaw, who'd hardly made it through the season, who should be lucky to be trailing behind Clearsight on the heels of another training session, still finds dread sitting heavy at the mere thought of going near water. Still feels the dark chill surrounding him.

Clearsight's suggestion makes him feel like he's drowning. Like the water is back in his lungs once more.

He's avoided it up until now, the river, the water - save for fishing, of course, though Gillpaw still tries his best to avoid the river's touch as much as he possibly can. But now, as he takes a step back with a fear-ridden gaze, as he starts sputtering out that he can't, it seems his days of avoiding the very thing that almost killed him are nearing its end.

Gillpaw isn't usually one to go against his mentor's orders, but this time he might.

However, Clearsight is reassuring, tells him there's no rush. They have time, the whole afternoon. Just two paws, deep breaths.

The tom didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until then, and lets himself inhale, then exhale before trying to speak again.

"I-I... I c-can't..." he squeaks out, sunny gaze staring down at the water. No longer frozen over with a thin layer of ice, no longer able to trap him into darkness. Shallow too, an area far less deep than where he'd fallen in the first time. It... It could be safe. Maybe. And... And he doesn't want to disappoint Clearsight either.

Another deep breath, and a white paw is raised over the water. Hesitation keeps him from actually placing his paw into the shallows. I can't, he wants to say again. But, hidden under fear, these are skills he already has. Gillpaw can do this, and soon, the paw is placed into the water. Half-expecting the icy chill he'd last felt with its impact, he's surprised by the river's warmth.

He can do this. He can do this. One more deep breath is given, before another paw steps into the river, summerges it in the warmth of sunlit water. This... Maybe this wasn't so bad? Gillpaw looks to his mentor for reassurance, a nervous grin growing on his face.
 


➵ He waits, gaze gentle, as Gillpaw tries — "I can't," he squeaks out, and Clearsight waits, sure and steady. "That's alright," he murmurs. He lets Gillpaw breathe, lets him work through it — rushing him won't do anyone any good.

And then sure enough — a paw raised, fear and hesitation and more deep breaths — and Gillpaw steps into the water. Clearsight's chest fills with relief (something to work with is always easier than nothing — he has more faith, now, that Gillpaw will be alright, that he hasn't failed him) and with pride. The look in his eyes — that nervous grin. What a good kid.

"I'm here," he says immediately when Gillpaw turns to face him, keeping his voice low, steady. Reassuring. "I'm right here. You're doing wonderfully." And he means it. There's no doubt in his mind that Gillpaw has the makings of a great RiverClan warrior; this is only more proof that the kid can overcome anything.

Clearsight can't wait to see what growth newleaf will bring.

"The warmth is nice, isn't it?" he says softly. "It's my favorite thing about newleaf — the water feels right again."

The marbled blue tom steps a little further into the shallows, gets all four paws wet now, leaves the unspoken invitation to follow if Gillpaw feels safe to. He turns his face into the sun, breathing deep, and basks for a moment — relishing the feeling of the water between his toes — and he's filled with the urge to dive headfirst into the deep. Not a fantastic idea while the river's still flooded, but as soon as it recedes he knows he's going swimming. With Willowroot, maybe, or Clayfur. It's been too long.

He turns back to Gillpaw, to those two black-and-white paws in sunlit water — and finds himself overcome with fondness and pride, so much pride. Stars, he loves this kid so much. "You know," he says, "you're going to make a great warrior. And I can't wait to see it. Any cat would have a difficult time getting back in the water after the leaf-bare that you've been through — you're always surprising me with your bravery."

// ghhwgahhxhf no pressure to respond again given. uh. you know. i just wanted one more post of clear being gentle w gill, i needed it

& we've all got battle scars ✗
 
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Gillpaw nods at Clearsight's words. The water is warm. No longer there to provide a chill to his bones, to shake him to his core. The water is warm.

The water feels right again, his mentor adds, and the tom looks down at his paws in the water, the reflection of his own gaze staring back at him. Older, no longer kit-like features peer back at him, and Gillpaw can't help the bit of shock he feels. He looks... like a warrior. When did that happen? When did he grow? When did he grow into his paws, once too big for him to walk properly with?

And it's kind of funny, isn't it? How he's so grown now, but has to start from the beginning again - has to relearn to be comfortable in the river he calls home. But the water feels right again, and Gillpaw is starting to believe it.

Another moment - and another deep breath - leaves Gillpaw to step forward, to sink two remaining paws into the water. Shallow enough to feel the bottom of the river, while being able to stand high above its danger at the same time. It feels right, despite the dangers Gillpaw has experienced.

He looks to Clearsight once more as his mentor speaks. Claims of how well of a warrior Gillpaw will make. The apprentice can only hope so - he's worked so hard for it! But... But even so, it means his days as an apprentice are coming to an end, his days of training every day with Clearsight. One day... One day someone else will take Gillpaw's place beside Clearsight. One day his mentor will be teaching someone else how to swim, how to fish. How to fight.

One day, it will no longer be Clearsight and Gillpaw. But Clearsight and... and Gillfur, or Gillbite, or ...

Two warriors on separate paths. It won't be the same, will it?

"W-When I'm a w-warrior," he starts, concern heavy in his voice, "W-We'll still go o-on patrols together, r-right?"

It's a foolish question, and he knows that as soon as it comes out his mouth. Of course, they will. Clearsight wouldn't just forget about him, the moment he becomes a warrior. Of course not. Why would he? The boy shakes his head, and takes another step in the water.

"I-I'll be the best warrior," he promises him, earnest in his words. Or, well, the best he can be. No one can surpass Clearsight.