private ALL-STAR HEATHENS [🐦‍⬛] marblepaw

[LAVENDERPAW]

When Marblepaw asks him to accompany her to search for honey, Lavenderpaw is more than happy to comply. He'll take any excuse to get out of the stiflingly hostile atmosphere of camp, but the medicine cat apprentice is one of the few cats whose presence he feels comfortable in anymore. Well, perhaps not truly comfortable, but she's better company than the bitter, short-tempered warriors taking bets on how long Ternfrost will last as their leader.

As they search the territory, Lavenderpaw finds himself casting curious side-long glances at his companion. He isn't sure he believes in StarClan, having seen no evidence to prove their existence to him, but whether they exist or not, Marblepaw had made a difficult decision to tell the Clan and face their reactions. The fledgling can respect that. But ShadowClan's reactions had been so overwhelmingly negative that Lavenderpaw feels the need to reassure her that she'd done well. It might be presumptuous of him, a seven moon old apprentice whose loyalty is conditional on the food and shelter he receives here, to be saying such a thing to their medicine cat's successor as if he's her mentor and not Starlingheart, but the idea that she must be feeling poorly about the situation nags at him.

"Marblepaw," he begins awkwardly, then stops, humming under his breath as he tries to think of what to say. Telling her he believes her would be a kind lie, but he respects her too much for that. "I think you did the right thing," he says instead. "I am not sure if I believe in StarClan, but whether they exist or not, the Clan needs someone to lead and guide them." He's figured out that a Clan's leader is to the Clan as Nonna was to him, but less harsh, at least in his experience. He'd needed Nonna; the Clan needs a leader. It seems straightforward to him. "The Clan doesn't need to be happy with your choice, or StarClan's choice, whichever it is, because it's for their own good."

Lavenderpaw's voice pitches up passionately towards the end of his words. Realizing this, he snaps his jaw shut in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he mutters, "I just wanted to let you know that I... I've come to respect you."

---

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── you can take all you want ⋆⋅🐦‍⬛⋅⋆ but not who i am ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• @MARBLEPAW

• 

• LAVENDERPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, seven moons
  ⭃ a small, spiky-furred black smoke tom with odd eyes and low white. he's resentful of being dumped at shadowclan's paws by his nonna, and avoids his new clanmates as much as he can, but in truth he's a compassionate young cat who romanticizes the world around him. he holds a deep fascination with birds of prey. ic opinions, he is in his pre-teen angst phase and it will get worse before it gets better.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by solaire ↛ @funeralscythe on discord, feel free to ping for plots.

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[MARBLELEAF]

Leafbare is an inopportune time to look for honey, but with all the sore throats plaguing their Clan, Marblepaw elects to set out anyway, Lavenderpaw by her side. The smoke-furred tom is quiet as they embark; they crunch snow and fallen bits of cedar underpaw, but otherwise, the marsh is silent around them. She doesn't mind the absence of chatter; her mind buzzes without any external stimulation. She thinks of her patients, of her Clanmates who had sat and regarded a newly-named Ternstar with raw suspicion, of the cold that settles in her belly when she lays down at night, alone in a den that had once felt warm and full of love.

"Marblepaw." She's startled to hear him speak. Moss-colored eyes swing his direction; there's a guarded expression there, at least initially. Is he going to say something about Starlingheart? The badger? I...

He doesn't. He tells her he thinks she did the right thing, by telling ShadowClan about the omen. Marblepaw's ears flick with surprise. He doesn't even believe that I saw what I did. He thinks I did it for the good of the Clan. Her mouth feels dry, all of a sudden. If she'd had the courage to do that, perhaps she should have done it moons ago, before her Clan had withered on the vine. "I really did see it, you know." She doesn't protest too heavily — it's not her place to push StarClan down her friend's throat. But...

Marblepaw's gaze hangs on Lavenderpaw's for a moment. "I thought you and Mapletuft were close. Are you not upset she didn't get to be leader?" Her head tilts. It's a toss-up, whether or not Lavenderpaw will become frustrated with her for bringing his mentor up again, but Marblepaw is genuinely curious. She had seen the pain in Mapletuft's eyes, the indignation — and stars, who could blame her? She'd been chosen by Mirestar to follow in their pawsteps, and Marblepaw's vision went against the warrior code itself.

Lavenderpaw's next words startle her. "I've come to respect you." They smile, despite everything — the bitterness of the season, the healing wound their Clan has become, her palpable loneliness. "You do?" It sounds almost childish, coming from her, but she straightens, letting her fur smooth along her spine. "I mean... thank you. I mean it." Her whiskers twitch. "I've been... well... the Clan had Starlingheart to guide them for many seasons. And I'm not anything compared to her." She cannot help the sadness that mists her gaze when she thinks of her fallen mentor, of the terrible accident that had stolen her life.

… ❞​

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[LAVENDERPAW]

⋆⋅☽✪☾⋅⋆ "I thought you and Mapletuft were close. Are you not upset she didn't get to be leader?" And therein lies the tricky part. He doesn't want to seem disrespectful of Mapletuft, but he's seen her pain, how it weighs her down -- leadership just isn't for her, not now. Lavenderpaw can see why either Marblepaw or StarClan would look at the Clan who's lost more leaders than any other and decide that their grieving deputy might not be the best choice. There's no curse, such things don't exist, but there's no denying that being at the helm of ShadowClan must come with a crushing weight, one that lesser cats might do anything to escape, even abandonment.

Mapletuft wouldn't have gone that far, he thinks. She's kind, not weak. Abandonment isn't the only way to escape leadership, even if it's the best way to avoid having to face your own shame.

"I wouldn't call us close, exactly," he protests faintly, "I've come to see value in her kindness, like you suggested. That's all." After a moment of contemplation, Lavenderpaw sighs and shakes his head. "I'm not upset -- like I said, I think it was for the best. I just hope she'll come around eventually, once she's had some time." He'd never admit it, but seeing her hurting without being able to help her frustrates him. Grief is an intangible enemy, impervious to claws and teeth, and only those whose hearts it chooses to reside in can confront it.

At least he's brought some small reassurance to Marblepaw. They smile for a moment, and he feels a warm sense of satisfaction in his chest. But she speaks of Starlingheart -- the fear that she won't measure up to her late mentor -- sadness wiping away the smile he'd been so proud to have put on her face. "I won't pretend to know what it's like to be a medicine cat," he says hurriedly, "but if there's anything I can do to help when Mapletuft doesn't have me working, I'll do it. You..." embarrassment washes hot beneath his pelt, "Well, you watch over everyone, it's only fair that you have someone to stand by you, too." He feels stupid. She's nearly an adult, surely she doesn't need the help of an apprentice barely a moon into his training. The exchange wouldn't be equivalent.

‎‎ MY BIGGEST ENEMY IS ME ⋆⋅🐦‍⬛⋅⋆ EVER SINCE DAY ONE ☾

• ooc ⋅
  

• 

• LAVENDERPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, 7 ☾'s.
  ⭃ a small, spiky-furred black smoke tom with odd eyes and low white
  ⭃ padding after no one / / mentored by mapletuft
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by solaire ↛ @funeralscythe on discord, feel free to ping for plots.

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[MARBLELEAF]

Lavenderpaw's protest is not overly offended; in fact, the dark-furred apprentice looks pensive as he denies Marblepaw's suggestion. "I just hope she'll come around eventually, once she's had some time." The tawny-furred apprentice dips her head in agreement, her mew soft as she replies, "I do, too. I know it can't be easy, what she's going through." She thinks of Mirestar and Smogstar, leaving their Clan and kin behind for stars know what reason, and she mews, firm: "And I hope she turns to her Clan for help. No matter what StarClan says about her ability to lead us, we still need her here."

Marblepaw bounds forward, her paws leaving warm imprints in the marshland frost. Lavenderpaw isn't far behind her, and though the thought of Starlingheart had wiped the smile from her muzzle, his next words fill her chest with so much warmth, she almost can't help but let out a strangled purr. He tells her he'll help her as much as he can. "You watch over everyone. It's only fair that you have someone to stand by you, too."

She blinks at him, both surprised and touched by the cool-natured apprentice's offer of friendship. "I'm lucky to have a friend like you. But don't offer too much," she counters, her voice teasing. "You may not be so quick to lend a paw after you get your first beesting!"

It isn't long before the two of them find the dried husk hanging in a mostly-stripped bush. Marblepaw had frequented the hive in leaf-fall, at Starlingheart's discretion, and she presses her ear to the outside of it to see what she can hear now. "There's no buzzing," she reported. "We might get lucky. I don't know what happens to the bees in leafbare, but if they sleep or if they go somewhere else, we might not get stung."

She snakes a forepaw inside the opening, her fur prickling as she anticipates the sting... but she escapes, her claws hooking something almost spongy. It's a small piece of honeycomb; the liquid is gold as sunlight, and though it's old and somewhat congealed, Marblepaw is pleased with what they've found. "This'll be great for cats who get sore throats! Here, you try it." She withdraws, blinking encouragingly at Lavenderpaw.

… ❞​

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