- Feb 16, 2023
- 80
- 19
- 8
'cause my girl's made of peaches♡—————————————————
It had felt like years.
She had watched through the opening of the medicine den as the moon passed by every night, then she would watch the sun pass by, and so the cycle continued. It just kept on continuing. Sometimes it felt like her eyes would glaze over days at a time, but every time a cat would eventually come by and knock her out of it. Sometimes it was Ravensong or Silverkit, she had always hoped it would be was Hazepaw though. They came by a couple times but the withdrawal of her company was one of the hardest part of being stuck. Catfish knew they were out training, hunting, swimming, on their own, or at least without her.
It couldn't last forever though. Eventually she would have to be let go, she would be released back to the clan. That day just happened to be today. She had waken up with the sun, staring at the walls she had become far too familiar with. Then Ravensong told her that she could leave, that she was as healed as he thought she would be and that gaining back her strength was the next part of the process, and that couldn't be done in the medicine den. She couldn't help it when she invaded the tom's space to bump her head against his shoulder in thanks. Her smile was huge as she limped into the sun, looking out at the apprentices and warriors starting their days. The sun still hadn't burned away the morning's chill just yet, and a dew still clung to the scrapes of grass around camp. Her chest lifted up as she inhaled the freshness of the morning, and dropped again as she exhaled. Her green eyes were gleaming with nearly over-flowing excitement.
Her fur bristled along her neck as she tried to wrap her mind around what she should do first. Her pupils went wide with the pent up energy and she started to as quickly as she could get to the apprentice den. It was harder than she thought it should be to move fast, she was used to just doing it. But now, it involved her concentration to make sure she didn't use the back mangled leg. It made it difficult to focus on the running too when her mind was consumed with Hazepaw. The two of them would finally be back together, back to their shenanigans, and never straying from each other's sides. Attached at the hips, just like before. It would be like a hard reset, the past few moons forgotten.
Her eyes blinked to adjust to the dim light in the den. She scanned the room, there were a couple stragglers still trying to sleep through the morning. She figured one of them would have to be Hazepaw, "I mean it was always me who was up first." she thought. But, as she went to check on the grey tabby's nest it was empty.
That's fine, they were probably already out with their mentor, most of the other apprentices were. That's fine. So, she hobbled out to the clearing, trying to recall if she had seen Haze within the crowd of cats getting to work. She couldn't recall seeing them and as her eyes looked over the cats still in camp her heart sank. No Hazepaw to be seen. There was another apprentice though, he seemed to be in tune with the environment "Hey! You wouldn't have like seen Hazepaw around or anything? Did she leave camp?" she quizzed the tom, trying to not sound too desperate for the information. He flicked his eyes to the sky and thought for a second "I think they left real early this morning on a patrol or something? At least I don't think I saw them since last night when I went to bed." he shrugged, Catfishpaw thanked him and watched as he walked away. The camp slowly became quieter and quieter as the molly tried to wrap her head around the day she had planned to spend with Hazepaw. It had been a moon or two in planning. They were going to go swimming, and maybe that evening they could go only a skip away from camp and watch the stars.
Of course she hadn't told Haze about these plans, she hadn't known when she would be released for sure, but she had just assumed Hazepaw would just be there... waiting. Stupid, she cursed herself as she hobbled back to the apprentice den. She didn't have anything else to do today, Pikesplash was already gone doing warrior duties so he would have to be told later that she was back in commission. That's fine though, she can figure it out on her own. She limped back into the den, her first thought was to go and sit in her nest. The one that was right next to Hazepaw's, it would be a bitter reminder for the day but whatever, she would live. That's when she noticed. That morning when she had been looking for Haze it hadn't occurred to her, but there was not a nest next to theirs.
Her nest was gone.
Her head tilted in confusion as she fought back the stupid tears that now burned at her eyes. "What else did you think was going to happen?" she asked herself as she kept blinking. They wouldn't just keep an empty nest around, why would they? It wouldn't have made sense. Even with her reasoning though the tears kept fighting against her, they were unreasonable. A single tear would hit her snow white paw. Not even enough to make it look wet. She had her task for the morning at least, make a new nest.
It took longer than she had hoped, she couldn't move with the speed she had remembered. Eventually though in the afternoon heat Catfishpaw thumped down into her newly made nest. It sat in one of the darkest corners of the den, away from Haze's. Now, she knew that Hazepaw hadn't gotten rid of her nest, and she knew that they didn't know she was getting out of the medicine den that day, and she that if she had just said something before it wouldn't be an issue. But, a burning deep in her gut made her not really care, she felt slighted. And as she lay over in the corner, hours after the nest was made, surrounded by the soft snores of other cats, she would see Hazepaw sneak into the den. She would see that they were smiling and it looked like she had a good day, and that's when she felt a pang of jealousy. Something that before had only been reserved for her older sisters.
She sat in the dark corner just like she had when she was just a newly named apprentice. Small, insecure and desperate for someone to care about her. It was unfair to place all that on Hazepaw, just like it had been to place that on her sisters, on her parents. She didn't need them anyway, any of them. She wanted them, she wanted her. But, she didn't need them. So she peered at the grey tabby settling into sleep, aching for their closeness but steadfast in her vow of independence. Eventually the hurting heart would grow weary, and then her eyes finally closed, soft sighs leaving her as she battled the gnashing teeth of her dreams.
and soft grass in the moonlight♡—————————♡penned by WriteAboutRadish
