sensitive topics and tell me some things last | nest clearing

[budkit]

//cw: this thread will have intense emotions and grief surrounding the topic of death

She still waited for Dawnglare’s return. A sentry set in bicolored fur, brilliant blue eyes fixed upon the medicine den in earnest wait. Only once has she been ushered away from her post – a flustered Chickbloom rushing to the nursery to suggest a game. It puzzled Budkit but she played along regardless; it helped take her mind off of a rather unpleasant scent that began to creep into camp at the time of the scottish fold’s arrival (two and two do not go together in youthful mind). The scent eventually dissipated though, and while many warriors appeared upset, Budkit noted nothing new. Perhaps some bad prey that they needed to clean up? Buddy would be upset too if she had to deal with that.

However, the world continued to turn. The incident long forgotten and replaced by the returned hope for Dawnglare and Mallowlark to come home. They would return soon, right? Skyclan needed them. Budkit needed them.

The pearly bone she had picked out with Oleanderkit and Greeneyes sits between dark mittened paws. Dawnglare’s return present. The point kitten hopes he will love it; a prize for the crimson dragon to treasure within his herb infused abode. A message that he is appreciated and loved. Budkit shifts her weight and paws at the bone idly, inspecting it for the best orientation to be displayed. In doing so she almost doesn’t notice the pair of apprentices slip into the medicine den, heeding to the muffled instructions of Fireflyglow.

Budkit squints towards the activity going on and something foreboding festers in her belly. This doesn’t feel right. She pushes herself to her paws, leaving the bone where it lies, and wordlessly flicks a kinked tail towards Oleanderkit (does she feel the same foreboding feeling?) before padding towards the medicine den.

An apprentice departs from the den of herbs and formative memories just as Budkit approaches. Clutched within their maw is a torn away section of nesting. The second apprentice follows suit and wreathed in their departure is the stale scent of Dawnglare. “W-Wait…?” Her mouth feels dry and her belly knotted in confusion. They were taking Dawnglare’s nest? Dawnglare and Mallowlark’s nest?! “Stop! Stop you can’t –“

Budkit reaches out a paw to stop the apprentices but they mutter something about Fireflyglow telling them to clear out the nest before sidestepping her altogether.

The casual dismissal breaks something within her.

The foreboding feeling rumbles like thunderheads in the pit of her stomach, spreading and encircling her heart and mind. She is a storm… Darkening. Building in intensity. Catastrophic.

Within a matter of heartbeats the thundering and lightning strikes of grief and disbelief begin.

“STOP! NO STOP! YOU CAN’T DO DIS!” The point kitten shrieks, not caring to correct her words, not caring to think through what she wishes to say. She slaps hard at the heels of the apprentices in an attempt to get them to cease their mission. “PUT IT BACK! HE NEEDS IT… PWEASE HE NEEDS IT!” Angry tears streak seal fur dark obsidian, rivulets dripping down rounded cheeks and splattering starburst patterns around her paws. “HE’S COMING BACK SOON, OTAY? P-PUT IT BACK… he… he needs it.”

Was she one of the only ones left holding out hope for Dawnglare and Mallowlark’s return? Was Fireflyglow really that callous to clear away his mentor’s nest over one argument?

“Pwease…. please… he needs his nest! Where will he sleep when he comes back?! Where will he keep Budkit and Oleanderkit’s present?! Put it back, put it back, PUT IT BACK!”

A scrap of the drying moss had fallen free of the mass the apprentices carried and Budkit scoops it up in her paw. Sputtering and gasping as she desperately holds it out to them so they can fix it… so they can put the nest back together for her friend she has yet to learn will not be returning to her.

// @Oleanderkit but no need to wait. buddy is throwing quite a tantrum :,(​

[ penned by kerms ]​

 

[PALADIN]

Paladin shared the nursery with a pawful of other 'orphans', as some elders called her and her peers. Kits without parents, carefully grasping onto whatever ties of 'friends' they could manage. Paladin did not think she had any- Whitekit, Fawnkit. They may qualify, she thinks, but it is not like what Budkit and Oleanderkit had with Dawnglare. She had known the medicine cat for very long- but those two were older then Paladin.

She had been similarly distracted, asked to keep within the nursery, and she did. Quiet, did she remain in the corner, waiting for permission to be let back outside. Paladin exited the same time the others did- but Budkit was off. The dark-pelted kit moved off, sitting in the shadows and watching from where the sun still moved. It wasn't until apprentices pushed into the medicine den in a curious gaggle that her vision shifted to follow. Budkit and Oleanderkit did not just watch- they followed.

The kit dismissed the commotion of the kits crowding the medicine den at first, toying with a small scrap of moss she was rolling into a ball. Bored did apply briefly, but that was before the shrieking followed. Burnt copper eyes blinked, the younger kitten lifting her vision towards the medicine den. She did not rise then, either, but it was like a dawn of understanding. The scent from earlier. How distraught some of the queens and warriors were. The old nest, scenting of medicine and a stale-pelt, dragged free by apprentices.

Paladin turns her eyes away, for grief does not strike her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ┌── YOUVE BURNT ME ⋅❁⋅ NOW GUIDE ME ──┐‎

• "speech"
  

• 

• PALADIN she/her, kit of skyclan, one moon.
  ⭃ LH black tabby / silver tabby chimera with low white and strong copper eyes. white plumed hair sits center on her head down to the beginning of her mane. a 'sword' is outlined in white on her back. she's quiet but intent, serious but still kitten-soft.
  ⭃ mentored by no one / / mentoring no one
  ⭃ mated to no one / / sibling to unknown
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[QUILLSTRIKE]

IF THE POINT'S TO NEVER DISAPOINT YOU, SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO​

---

”Shit.” He’d forgotten about Budkit. How they’d been waiting for Dawnglare to come back ever since he and Mallowlark had stormed off together. It was pretty damn clear nobody had broken the news to the kits yet- but then again, maybe it was better to save them from that pain. To just let them think their friend was still out there, alive and happy somewhere.

That it would be easy to see him again one day.

Guilt wasn’t something he cared enough to feel most time, but he felt it then. Maybe the least cruel thing would have been to just let them think the pair were gone from the start, never to be found again. At least that was a ripped scab whose pain they’d already been acclimating to. Now, they’d have to start all over again.

”Budkit.” he called, hoping to draw the kits attention as he made his way over, briefly making eye contact with the apprentice and silently dismissing them- they didn’t need to deal with the pressure of explaining this to a kid. Though, to be completely honest, they’d probably have a bit more finesse.

”Dawnglare doesn’t need that stale old nest anymore. You’ve got to let them clean it up, otherwise it’ll get moldy.” He tried to reason. ”You don’t want anyone getting sick from it, right?” he prompted, hoping that a shift in perspective would help calm the crying kit down- they weren’t getting rid of Dawnglare and Mallowlarks belongings, they were just.. Cleaning up old moss.

There was no need to draw attention to the fact that, should a new one be made in it's place, it would no longer house the grinning white tom or the skyclan healer.

---

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skyclan - male - 31 months (Feb 17th) - Twitchbolts mate - a very tall, muscular chimera with mismatched eyes and several scars. has bluejay feathers woven like spikes along his spine and neck.

 

[butterflytuft]

Oh no. She’d been distracted, watching Paladin and the other younger kits while her much older daughter scampered off to play like she always did. How mouse-brained was she to not keep an eye on her? Now, her little one’s cries echo through the camp and her heart leaps in surprise. Swinging her head around, she sees the source of the wailing. The nests of Dawnglare and Mallowlark are being cleared out.

Butterflytuft had been avoiding this conversation, waiting for the right time to explain things - but the time was never going to feel right, was it? Watching Budkit's desperate paws slap at the moss, the painful reality crashes into her with full force: she should’ve talked to her about death long ago. Maternal instincts drive her forward in a quiet approach, dandelion eyes wide with worry as her mind scrambles for what to say. The usual warmth in her gaze is noticeably dimmed by sadness as she brushes her tail gently over Budkit’s side and crouches down beside her distraught kit. "Budkit..." She murmurs softly, trying her best to keep her voice from straining, "It's okay, sweetheart. I know this is really hard." The knot in the tortoiseshell’s throat tightens, but she knows the little point needs her to be strong right now. She glances up at Quillstrike and shares a frown with her friend, but there is gratitude shining in her eyes for his attempt to help. "Dawnglare and Mallowlark…aren't coming back." Finally, she has said it, and she does so with as much gentleness as she can muster. "They're with StarClan now. There are comfier nests there, and they won’t need this one anymore.”

She pulls the small kit closer, trying to offer what little comfort she can. She can’t imagine how much this much hurt, her daughter’s first experience with death and grief. Brushing her nose gently against Budkit's head, she whispers, “It's okay to cry. We all miss them too."
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[Oleanderkit]

It was always going to turn out this way, wasn't it?

Oleanderkit sits despondent at Budkit's side. She had smelled the blood, had played the game anyway. Budkit may not have put the pieces together, but she had — sharp little Oleander, of cunning mind and cutting tongue. She's seen death before, but not like this. When SkyClan had carried Violetnose into camp, she'd been a ragdoll on someone's back; when Laurel had died, Oleander could not even witness him, and yet all that death still follows her now, conspiring around her as a Greek chorus. Dead, they whisper. He's dead, and he isn't coming back. It's a notion she's fought for days now. But it's time to give up that ghost.

When Budkit rises, Oleanderkit rises, leaving the gleaming bone in her wake. The girls walk towards the medicine den in tandem, an unwitting funeral procession. She does not smile as the apprentices mill about the stale den; her icicle gaze remains impaled in the earth at their paws as opposed to pierced through their eyes; she wilts at Budkit's side in her grief. It is only when a fluttering scrap of moss catches her eye that Oleanderkit can protest what's happening — but Budkit beats her to it.

"Please," the girl pleads, turning her intense stare on the apprentice with the moss. Budkit is a tempest at her side; Oleander makes no move to calm her. What she wants is the moss in that cat's jaws — what she wants is a memento, a scent she can cling to until it fades. "Can I have it? Please let me have it."

If Budkit is a hurricane, Oleanderkit is the slow rise of the river in her wake; a quiet flood, the stealthy capture of the shoreline. The water rises in her until it spills out her eyes in a disciplined trickle. She is no less sad, no less angry, no less aimless without Dawnglare's guidance — but she is experienced, at least, in the field of death and grief. It still does little to ease the new pain, but it's something.

The apprentice takes pity on them. Oleanderkit and Budkit are rewarded with a scrap of a dead man's stale moss (quietly, quietly, she bids his spirit return to her; hopes that his scrap of stardust can make a comfortable bed in her boon). She presses her shoulder into Budkit's flank, hoping for comfort, but before long there are warriors heading towards them, explaining it away and away, and nobody is really saying what's happened, and Oleander knows it because she's had to learn it before. Dawnglare doesn't need that nest. Mallowlark isn't coming back. Euphemisms! Euphemisms! Disgust sparks flint and steel in her kindling heart and sets her alight.

"He's dead, Budkit!" Oleanderkit cries. "He died! Just like Laurel!" The name must mean little to her friend, but it begins the spillover. Oleanderkit's dams break. Tears that once marched orderly down her cheeks become erratic in their paths; far too many spill over her lids, down her cheeks, into her plush chest fur. Laurel had died and cursed death to follow her — it must be true. Maybe she could ask Lovage, sometime, and her mother would nod and say very astute, Oleander! You're right, he did curse you! and then things would make a lot more sense. Could a star-blessing break death's promise? Apparently not.

Butterflytuft speaks of StarClan. It's not something Oleander has heard much of before — the idea that Dawnglare and Mallowlark are there instead of here is so selfish, selfish, selfish! Why should they be made to abandon her? Why should they not keep their word? The moon-pelted child curls into a tight ball, shaking as she sobs.

𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋, 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍, 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇, 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓 𓆱 . ݁˖ . ݁𓆸

• ooc. sorry for lateness!!!
  
• OLEANDERKIT —— kit of skyclan . lovage x laurel . littermate to birchkit and mercurykit ✦ penned by meghan
  
  ✦ a willowy silver blue ticked torbie with low white and seafoam eyes. lonerborn, oleander struggles to learn the ropes of clan life while coping with anxiety and past trauma. may seem strange, and has unconventional hobbies.
  ✦ girl / she her pronouns / undiscovered sexuality / 04 moons & ages every 20th
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— will not start fights / will flee / will show mercy. a mere kitten, she cannot defend herself in battle.
  
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, all opinions are in character
  ✦ full biography — msg on discord for plots — toyhouse
  

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