pafp Any day I think I’m gonna breakdown || attempting to leave camp

[Emberpaw]

They were home!

They were home.

It doesn’t feel like home.

Debris was strewn about the clearing, brambles and den material scattered as pine needles after the storm. The soft ground had been torn asunder, dented with muddy, hulking prints. The air that hung around them in a mist was rancid, smelling of rotted meat and death. Emberkit had thought that everything would be better once Chilledstar led them home. The tunnel had been loud, and smelly, and cramped. Despite their camp’s size, Emberkit felt more overcrowded than ever.

I… I wanna go for a walk. Yes, a walk was a good idea. That’s what older cats did to clear their heads, she was pretty sure. Should I ask someone to come with me? Everywhere she looked, warriors were fussing over material or being sent out in search of this and that, or meowing orders. Everyone was busy, far too busy. It would be wrong to interrupt them. I won’t go very far. Just… Just a little ways. The memory of her and her sibling wandering away from their birth mother’s hiding spot caught on a branch of her mind. The results had been dangerous, frightening, and the feelings of that day stuck quick in her throat. I won’t get lost. I won’t. She crept toward the camp barrier, most of which was lying limply in broken pieces all around. Emberkit stretched her neck to look up, up and over and out into the boggy forest. She padded closer, nose twitching. What’s out there?

//PAFP, please wait for @Needledrift to post!

 

[Needledrift]

There is a hustle and bustle in her step that has been missing for days. Weeks. Yes, weeks. Weeks have passed since the bears had crashed into their camp, all talons and gaping jaws. Weeks since ShadowClan's docile needle-strewn home had been uprooted into something quite different. Her storm cloud had settled in the front of her mind as soon as they returned, a dark summer-storm flooding her mind with doubt and self-hatred. She had stared for several moments, when they first got in, at the spot she had stood when the bears first arrived. The spot Chilledstar's body had laid for several moments too long.

It had taken several other warriors pushing and hustling and moving things along to urge her out of the sickening reverie. She refused to look near that spot now. The storm cloud still lingered.

The storm lingered even as the work continued. In and out of camp, carry a stick, drop a stick, carry some moss, drop the moss - need some food! Going hunting! - carry a stick... She had carried so many sticks, she was quite sure that somebody was eating them with the amount of sticks they just didn't seem to have whenever anybody needed one. Stick, drop, stick, drop, stick, drop, st- kit?

With another stick needed, Needledrift had intended to make her way back into the forest, only to find a familiar little figure standing in her way, a little creature nosing at the precipice of some potential adventure. She clears her throat, a little brrrrrmp? coming forth as her stand-in for a question. What do you think you're doing? The nosy adult's trademark inquiry.​

i will never leave your room, tell everything that bothers you​

 

[Wheattail]

As Shadowclan’s newest member, Wheat was surprised to find that she’d arrived at the tail-end of some great catastrophe. The wanderer had inquired, obviously, but the others were far too busy repairing their homes to indulge in the autumn-hued she-cat’s question. This had left her with a semi-permanent pout smeared across a pretty face. Not being told things annoyed Wheat (well, a lot annoyed her, but that was near the top of the list), no matter how well-justified it was.

As such, the she-cat had set out to do vaguely what everyone else seemed to be doing, with the hopes that the monotonous tasks would reveal some hidden truth. Repairing things was a new experience for the wanderer. If something was wrong with wherever she slept, she just…moved. She sighed, accepting that that simple life was dead for the time being.

The ticked tabby had just returned from collecting moss (why these cats needed it in such great quantities remained a mystery), and was about to set out for more materials when opportunity struck amber eyes. There in front of her stood Needledrift, the first to spot the Somali lookalike and one of the only cats so far she would consider an acquaintance. Nearby was a small cat she didn’t recognize, but it seemed she was trying to leave. It was an urge Wheat empathized with all too well.

Sauntering forwards after having quickly (if somewhat incorrectly) read the situation, Wheat couldn’t help but wonder why Emberkit’s egress was being blocked. “The little one seems curious, and curiosity often flowers into purpose. Is it not best to indulge her?” She asked with a soft smile towards the cat quite close to her age, ignorant of that fact that kits were confined to camp.​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

they understand it. that need to be free, to feel the gentle breeze against their fur, away from the heavily choking air that clings to the sky sometimes. they like to get away too, but especially now. this camp was... a wreck. debris everywhere, and they swear their blood still stains the ground. who knows if it's actually true, as they've done everything they possible could to avoid that spot. to avoid most spots, but especially that one. they have moved away from where they were, being sure to take a few bits of the scattered wreckage with them in their jaws. it isn't until they see emberkit that they drop it.

they hear the curious sounds from needledrift, only to be taken aback by the younger apprenticed aged feline who just joined not too long ago, trying to give advice. their lip pulled back with a frustrated shale of their head and they're quick to stand between the cats and emberkit.

"she's seen the outside of camp plenty."

an almost motherly instinct that they didn't even realize they had was kicking in. they gently moved their paw to pull emberkit closer to them.

"it is dangerous and kits, especially emberkit— my kit, do not leave camp. they wait until they are apprentices and even then, they do not leave without a warrior. that includes you. these forests are dangerous and unforgiving. they do not care how young, or how fast you are. in the end, if you are even slightly foolish, or overzealous, it will win. i refuse to allow emberkit to become a victim of such a fate. stay in your place, kit. needledrift is a warrior that clearly knows what she's doing."

they don't mean to spit at the other so angrily, but with all the death they've seen in just the last moon... how could they not be upset? how could they not be worried? they sigh, pulling themself away and becoming hyperaware of the physical contact. it was pretty out of character for them, but they'd address that later.

"where in the name of the stars are you trying to go, anyways?"

they ask the kitten, ear twitching ever so slightly.
​

 

[RATTLESTRIDE]

જ➶ Pitch colored ears swivel towards the common, a still figure tuning into the conversation from afar. A small smile of amusement rests on his sharp features as he shifts a paw and then presses up to pull himself to stand. It takes him a moment but those wide unblinking molten orbs slowly seem to find them. Sightless as he is the tom makes his way closer, having patience to advance at a slower pace to find them by their breathing, their voices. It takes another step and another before he is there now and he turns his head slightly. Those eyes waver, shifting around them but never actually landing on anyone in specific. Instead he sits down and lifts a paw. "I agree, there are scary things out in the marsh. Were the bears not scary enough?" He muses, wondering just what they had actually looked like. He just remembers their awful stench. Something he can smell from a mile away honestly. Gag worthy.

Still a kitten is always going to be curious and he remembers his own kit days. Always doing something, mapping the ground around him. Navigating the unseeable world, what fun. What danger.​

 

[Emberpaw]

Emberkit jumped at the sudden sound behind her. It wasn’t a scary sound, and from the voice alone she knew it was Needledrift. It seemed that despite her internal affirmations, somewhere inside the kit knew she probably shouldn’t be doing this.
“Oh, hi Needledrift! ” she mewed, her smile sparks of a deeper flame. “I’m just… Er, I just thought it might be nice to go for a walk, outside. I wasn’t gonna go far! I just didn’t wanna bother you guys, cause you’re all so busy ‘n stuff. ”

A stranger came forth, her pelt glowing in the sun like the coloured breast of a songbird. So pretty! Ember thought in wonder. Vaguely in the back of her mind, a distant conversation about hunting and pelt colour flashed, but it was nothing the child cared to hold onto. She was shy in the presence of new comers (despite being fairly recent herself), but this Molly’s presence was anything but frightening. She seemed inclined to let Emberkit do whatever she wished, and like any child with little understanding of what was good for her and what wasn’t, this safely tucked her away in Ember’s good books. She looked back to Needledrift, a beacon of hope lighting her gaze.

There was a flash of shadow, and suddenly Chilledstar stood before her. They turned their piercing blue gaze on the mollies. There was something akin to a storm flickering in their gaze. Much of its irritation focused on the ginger she cat, as though she were a lightning rod. Uh oh. Emberkit had never really annoyed before. Ive gotten them in trouble, havent I?
As tight words began to spill from Chilledstar’s throat, the child found herself inclined to agree with them. I suppose I have been outside camp a lot. It had been nearly a moon by now though, if one didn’t count fleeing and returning to camp. A black paw tucked Emberkit close, and she leaned into their fur instinctively. Her heart pounded a steadier rhythm, her breathing less uncertain. Theyre not mad at me. Still, an inkling of guilt nibbled her belly for the mollies.

She was beginning to regret the idea of leaving. Part of her heart still longed to set foot outside, where it wasn’t so crowded and tense. But the way Chilledstar spoke about the forest beyond camp sounded awfully dangerous. They seemed certain she would get hurt. Emberkit didn’t want that. What if I did get lost again? She could surely not expect to get lucky enough to be found a second time.
While not directed at her, the shot of venom in Chilledstar’s words coiled painfully around her chest. Pale green eyes peeled out from behind the leader’s leg, and Emberkit sought out the ginger molly’s face. ‘I’m sorry!’ she mouthed. It was her fault she was getting a talking to. I should’ve asked first. I shouldn’t have even thought about leaving. It was a silly idea.

Chilledstar addresses her directly now, and if she hadn’t trusted them with her whole heart already she might’ve jumped. She blinked up at them, feeling sheepish, but not afraid.
“Not very far, I just… I just wanted a walk, that was all.“ It felt even sillier saying her idea out loud. What reason was that? It wasn’t one. Another warrior strode forth, asking if she hadn’t had enough of a fright when the bears arrived.
“They were! They were really scary.” She shuddered, remembering their pointed teeth, their massive claws. Her mind’s eye flashed crimson. Chilledstar’s body lay in the mud. “That’s… That’s why I wanted to go.” With each word her voice grew smaller, quieter, until she had ducked her head down and began to pick at the dirt. “I think of them, a lot. I thought, maybe, going for a walk would help.”

An idea came to her, though she hesitated to speak it. Chilledstar had made it clear as the sky was blue that kits did not leave camp, for any reason. She knew she should drop it, accept the way things were. But the thought sitting in with the lingering stench of bears a moment longer made her stomach churn.
“What if someone went with me? What if Needledrift was watching? Or, or her?” she asked, nodding to the young ginger feline. Inside, she knew the answer, but it only confused her more. Looking from cat to cat around her, she went on. “Why can a… a ‘prentice’ go outside with someone, but I can’t?”

 

[Wheattail]

Ah, it seemed her suggestion had invited the approach of a cold front, as it were. Wheat couldn’t help her reaction, stiffening for a quarter of an instant at Chilledstar’s voice before regaining her composure once more, turning to meet her leader (though the word didn’t sit well with the somali lookalike - any implication that she was an underling was likely to irritate).

Amber eyes narrowed as the other spoke, and a small huff of annoyance left her as Chilledstar lumped the ticked tabby in with the child as cats too fragile to be left alone. “I cannot say I understand or approve, as that would be telling a lie. Though, because of my debt to both you and this group, I shall do as you say.” Wheat looked away from the leader, decidedly done with the (in her eyes) domineering cat. Instead, a wheaten tail swished as Rattlestride spoke. The wanderer wished to say many things in this moment, to say that the scary things in the marsh could quite easily come to camp if they so desired, or to call them all cowards, but the arctic winds of Chilledstar’s potential fury made the beauty bite her tongue.

It was as she was internally lamenting the mindsets of her new clanmates that amber eyes found the form of Emberkit, who all this had been started over. Wheat gave the kit a soft smile at the mouthed apology, shaking her head to indicate the child’s innocence in the matter. At her suggestion, though, the soft smile turned into a toothy grin. “What if-“ she ventured, trying to build on the bricks of Emberkit’s (likely ill-fated) idea. “What if both Needledrift and I were to accompany the child? The silent warrior can watch over me, and the two of us can watch the kit. Does that suffice?”

Wheat still seemed to have quite a bit of the loner life ingrained in her. In the wanderer’s mind rules were like guidelines, open to compromise and occasional breakage when the situation warranted. What she didn’t understand was the rigidity of these laws, and the iron will of their leader. ​

 

[BoneFang]

The dark furred warrior was collecting items to help repair camp. With each journey out, he would bring more than he should carry with him back. A mouthful of varied items, and a back layered in moss and feathers for queens and elders nests alike. He'd spend hours and all day out of camp to bring in loads back. It was a distraction to say the least.

Cold blue eyes met the group, an invisible eyebrow raising before gently setting stuff down. It was more revealing now, the scars on his face, and even with his mouth now closed, the gross image of the inside of his mouth and teeth being revealed. It took a long time to accept his own image, and he still barely was proud of it.

"I believe ChilledStar, the parent of this child, and the leader of the clan, should not be argued with. They speak with emotion of parental instincts and worry that their child, and their clanmates, may get hurt. It's no offense to you two, and I have no way to speak for them either. However, there are reasons small children should not be exposed to the outside of camp. Even two cats with her could go wrong very easily." His voice was gruff, his expression void of any emotion.

If a hungry creature wanted that kit, the hungry creature would do what it could, and then the clan would have three losses to mourn. It would be survival of the fittest. They did not need that. More loss was never on the agenda, especially of a child with a whole life ahead of them.

It was not his place to say, however. and he would respect if they told him off for butting in so bluntly. It was a way of assisting. He was children less, and he did not understand much of the paternal or maternal emotions that came with having children, but he did expect that it was a feeling of wanting to protect them with their own lives. And the loss of one of your own, he imagined, could never be healed or replaced.

The phrase time heals all wounds, was a myth to the young warrior. Some wounds never healed. They left an ugly scar, and would make one feel defeated even if they let it. Emotions were such a fickle thing.

 

[Needledrift]

Needledrift bumps her friend's shoulder gently, a chuff escaping from her slightly parted jaw. Of course the topic of adventure would be a little touchy, especially after such a long excursion away from home. Needledrift knew the toll that camping out in the tunnels took on her own psyche, it was a wonder that Chilledstar was even still breathing with the level of stress and panic she would experience if she were in their paws.

Green eyes slide from her friend's frigid gaze to the wide, expectant eyes of their daughter, all apologies and bargaining. A smile creeps onto one side of the she-cat's face, a kind smile, an empathetic response to the kitten's plea. She shakes her head, no, it was far too dangerous right now for a kit of her size. Needledrift might have felt differently if she were Wheat's age again, but her and Chilledstar both shared experience and mindset in their similar life stage.

"Maybe we can play another game?" She offers to the younger she-cats, her paw pressed firmly against her jaw so her speech is understandable. "Some of the pine branches are really low now... maybe you can climb on my shoulders and pick some pine buds for your nest. They smell really good this time of year."​

i will never leave your room, tell me everything that bothers you​

 

[Emberpaw]

There were murmurs and attempts to argue for her case, but it seemed decided that Emberkit would not be allowed outside of camp this day. Bonefang's words were the final hailstones on the mouse, and Emberkit knew the cause was lost. Her mood was mildly dampened, the dew of refusal settling over her conscience and preparing its expanse for the potential mould of resentment. Thankfully, Emberkit was still not one to hold grudges. And really, she was more confused than upset. There seemed to be rules to living in the clan that were more than just "I don't think you should do that." Are there other rules like that, ones I haven't learned yet? If there were, she hoped she learned them before she got herself into trouble again.

Needledrift didn't seem content to leave her to her worries. With a soft, albeit crooked, smile, the warrior offered to play with her. The idea of picking pine buds was a new one, and the child's eyes widened.
"Ooh, okay! That sounds fun," she purred, a ray of sunshine breaking through her clouded mood as she scrambled atop the grey molly.

 

[Needledrift]

The little kit's enthusiasm is infectious as she mounts the gray warrior - a little knight atop a stocky steed. With all four paws now on the ground, Needledrift straightens, attempting to keep her shoulders as level with her back as possible so the child isn't thrown from their perch by a stray movement. It is with a slower pace that she maneuvers towards the treeline that makes up the edge of the camp, one careful paw in front of the other. Once next to the lowest branch, she halts, green eyes trained on one bright chartreuse bulb above their heads.

Gently, slowly, she places one paw on the adjacent trunk, the other white-capped foot following after. Inch by inch, she stretches her body as far as she can so the kit can stand firmly upon the tops of her shoulders to collect the aromatic bud. The branch bounces as Needledrift's head makes contact with the lowest bough, her ears twitching against the needles she had been named for. Brrrrrrrrw! She trills to her passenger. Get it!​

i will never leave your room, tell everything that bothers you​