baby, its cold outside [rune]

[Duskfire]

I WANT SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS​

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Winter had fully set in, and Duskfire couldnt say he was enjoying it. The ground was cold and hard as a stone underfoot, frost clung to the heather and grass, and the winds on the open moor were absolutely relentless. The copper tomcat would have prefered to be sleeping in a warm nest rather than wandering the territory at night, but after the recent attack on Nettlepaw he found himself too restless to sleep.

Instead, Dusfire rose from his nest and slipped outside, instantl regretting it when the lingering warmth of his bed was torn away by the cold outside. He almost considered turning around and going back inside, but all it took was a glance toward the medicine cats den for him to know that wasn't an option.

Instead he began to make his way over to the camps exit, only to pause when he noticed a figure lingering by it already. Snowshadow. Rune.

"Can't sleep?" he called as he made his way over to join them, fur fluffing up against the chill in the air. "Im heading out to patrol along the horseplace if you want to come." he offered.
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windclan deputy - male - 22 months - single - tall, strong bengal tomcat

 

[Snowshadow]

( ⓛ ﻌ ⓛ *)∫ — Snow laid thick on the heather stalks, the wind billowed through the open camp and echoed through perked up ears. A slim face stood on a rock before the gorse tunnel of camp, gaze of hot fire and a rising dawn staring out towards the hills. They weaved and bobbed through all of the moorland; a place that had become a home for a cat of shadow and snow. A place of belonging despite it rather questionable leadership and very few rules. Though there was a longing still that resided in a slim chest, a longing for the mountain peaks. For the valley that had been a birthplace for the young tomcat, were Magnus laid to rest at and all he had known for the last few months.

Rune had come in search of his mother, and found her with another family and mate. He felt- forgotten. Moonshadow hadn't spent a lot of time with him since returning, and his half siblings wanted nothing to do with him. Now here he was, renamed to Snowshadow and a warrior of Windclan but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like he had much to keep him here and yet he couldn't go back to the kingdom; he'd be killed on sight. So there he was, unable to sleep with the amount of thoughts running through his head. Couldn't relax enough to enjoy being apart of something new, and questioned who was he now.

Rune was polite, Rune listened to every order given to him without question and Rune had blood on his paws from countless battles. What of Snowshadow? Who was this Windclan warrior? Was he the same knight who trained till the pads of his paws bled? The same knight that served out executions on behalf of a corrupt king? It was uncertain and he was thinking that maybe he could start over. Give himself a chance to be a better cat, be himself and who he hide under the guise of kingdom rules.

Though then a voice broke through the thick fog of thoughts and dual colored hues blinked a few times, and his mind was able to identify that of Duskfire approaching. "Guess you could say that," He commented back with a small shrug of lithe shoulders, "Sure a patrol sounds nice," Snowshadow stood up from where he had sat down and moved to join beside the deputy with a soft smile cross his muzzle. — tags​

 

[Duskfire]

I WANT SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS​

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Identity was something Duskfire still struggled with, even after having spent months in Windclan and obtaining a ank as prestigious as Deputy. He had come from a place that demanded the absolute worst of a cat in order to unsure survival, a place where 'survival of the fittest' hadn't just been a saying. It wasn't bad enough that he had done things that would horrify the cats around him now, but having grown up in isolation and constant danger had left him without several of the core experiences that would have shaped him into a healthy and functioning adult.

When he'd arrived at Windclans border, he'd had to stop being 'Dusk' and learn to be 'Duskfire', something he was still having a bit of a hard time with. All he knew was the job that was expected of him, and so he leaned into it fully, letting it encompass him. Maybe thats what ultimately kept him from getting close to anyone; they already knew who the were while Duskfire was still trying to figure it out.

And maybe that also why it was a little less awkward to be around cats like Snowshadow, who were also still trying to find themselves.

"Something on your mind?' he asked as the other fell into step beside them, having noticed their troubled expression upon approaching.
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windclan deputy - male - 22 months - single - tall, strong bengal tomcat

 

[Snowshadow]

( ⓛ ﻌ ⓛ *)∫ — Those hues of Snowshadows' looked over at Duskfire as he was questioned about what was on his mind, and he honestly didn't know what to start with. What was acceptable to talk about with Duskfire? He didn't want to be accused of treason or anything like that, but yet he felt some what comfortable with the bengal tomcat. Though whether it was enough to be able to talk about it- he didn't know. The dark and pale white tomcat flicked his feathery tail back and forth in distress at his own inner monologue, "I am having trouble with the new name, this new place," He said softly and flicked his pointed ears back against his head.

"My mother is talking about leaving, my siblings do not want to talk to me, and I'm just- I'm not Rune anymore," He continued onwards with a soft sigh leaving his muzzle, his hot breath puffing out in clouds around his nose, "I do not feel like myself, and I do not know if that is a good or bad thing," Snowshadow looked down at the heather-covered ground for a moment and shook his head slightly, "Windclan has become a home to me, but I still long for the mountains and my home in the valley,"

A dry laugh left his muzzle for a moment, "I do not think I should be talking about that to you. I do not wish for Sootstar to think of me as not loyal," Snowshadow commented after the thought. — tags​

 

[Duskfire]

I WANT SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS​

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"Well," Dusk began, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips as his gaze shifted toward the cloudy sky above. "that's definitely a lot. I'm sorry it's been so tough for you."

Adapting wasn't always easy, and in Snowshadows case they had a lot to miss; their home, their family, the person they used to be. Dusk had the advantage of never having those things to begin with, so it had been easier to look ahead to the future.

"And ouch!" he laughed, leaning over to bump the other cat playfully, "Just because I'm her Deputy doesn't mean I go ratting out every cat that's having trouble to her. Your allowed to have feelings you know."

The words were an attempt at assuring them, letting them know that he wouldn't go running to Soot just because the other tom had some complaints and difficulties.

Dusk had known from day one that Snowshadow was struggling, he just hadn't realized so many things had piled on since their last talk. One of the more alarming ones was the fact that Moonshadow was considering leaving, something that could have a major effect on the clan if the shecat chose to take her family with her. Dustpaw would be devastated over losing Peri, and the clan would be without four good apprentices.

"And as for all of that... I can't say I've got an easy fix to any of it. It's hard to drop your life and pick up a new one somewhere else, especially when everyone around you already seems like they know exactly who they are and what they're supposed to be doing. It just takes time."
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windclan deputy - male - 22 months - single - tall, strong bengal tomcat

 

[Snowshadow]

( ⓛ ﻌ ⓛ *)∫ — It was a lot, it was a lot to deal with and talk about but he really didn't have anyone to talk to about any of this kind of thing. The rest of the clan seemed so closed off, so intertwined with each other that a new comer was hard to find a place inside of it. With the new rogues he hoped it would be better, but there was a slight doubt and more an inkling that Windclan was going to be split. One half that of the orginal Windclan and the rogues themselves. Maybe Snowshadow belonged with the rogues instead of actual Windclan, but that was a depressing thought about it.

"I do apologize, I do not think you're going to rat me out but back home- the second hands always did that," And their punishment was worse than death half the time, but Duskfire didn't need to know that. The kingdom was an innerworking hellhole of its own with so much rules and regulations inplanted by the king himself. Sootstar reminded him a lot of the king, but more delusional in a way- but that was another talk for another day.

"How did you come to terms with a new identity?" He questioned the other after a moment of silence lapsed between them, the gorund crunching underpaw with snow and frozen plants, "I suppose it was different for you because of where you came from," Snowshaodw remembered their talk about where Duskfire had come from, and that it wasn't any better of a place than the kingdom. Duskfire didn't have a previous life before Windclan, but Snowshadow did and he didn't know how to handle being- someone new. — tags​

 

[Duskfire]

I WANT SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS​

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It was a difficult question, and as much as Dusk wanted to provide some levelof reassurance for them, he wasn't sure he knew the right words to say. "To be completely honest, I don't know if I even have an identity yet." he admitted, a touch of sheepishness to his words. "You ask any cat in the clan and the most they can tell you about me is that my name is Duskfire, I have like, three friends, and I'm always working. Not much of a personality."

But as for who he was? Not even Duskfire knew. Things like moral codes, personal boundaries, trust building, and social skills were all born in childhood, and he'd never had one of those. He didn't know what he considered to be right and wrong, or how far he was willing to go for something. He didn't know how to build and foster trust in others, or what the proper thing to say in certain situations was. Experience was something he sorely lacked, and without it he found he was still a little lost in that regard. It was like he'd learned the road with all it's twists and turns, able to walk it backwards or blindfolded, but he didn't know why he was walking it yet.

"But I think in your case it might be helpful to think of some new things that are important to you. For a long time your goal was finding your mom and making sure she was alive, and you've done that, even if what you found might not have been exactly what you were expecting. So maybe now it's time to find something else to put your energy into. What's important you Rune? Where do you see yourself this time next year?"
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windclan deputy - male - 22 months - single - tall, strong bengal tomcat

 

[Snowshadow]

( ⓛ ﻌ ⓛ *)∫ — Whats important to you, Rune? Where do you see yourself this time next year? resonated with the black and white tomcat, and he looked down at the ground below his multi-colored paws. The thing was; he didn't know. What was important to him? Well the clan had become important to him, Cloudkit had become important to him, and well- "You're important to me," He muttered out loud and shortly thereafter realized his mistake and blinked a few times, "You've become such a good friend to me, a good asset to the clan- and I wish to uphold that with you,"

Snowshadow though didn't know how to feel about his name. Rune was something someone called him since before he opened his eyes, what he got promoted as when becoming a solider for the kingdom. Rune was important to him in a way- but Snowshadow? He didn't know who that was. What was important to him? Duskfire still remained important to him, but that was as far as it went. He didn't have an apprentice, his mother was thinking of leaving and his half-siblings hardly acknowledges his existence. Even Hyacinthbreath ignored him and she was part of his family now too.

"This time next year- I hope to be part of Windclan. To be in a higher stance of power, to have a family," Snowshadow admitted after his moment of silence and looked up at Duskfire for a moment, "I know I am techincally am part of Windclan, but I want it in a different sense. Like you, Weasel and Hya were- trusted cats in the clan," Snowshadows' gaze of pure amber and pale purple looked down once more at the ground, the tom was truly struggling with his stance and the change.

Sootstar didn't trust him, but he had been trying to put himself into every aspect of the clan. Tried to talk to as many cats as he could, befriend them and be apart of something greater than himself- but everyone seemed to closed off. So isolated in their own groups of them versus Sootstar. While she didn't have the best ideals- she was leader for a reason. Everything she did was within a reason whether it made sense to others or not was debatable for sure, but the clans gave so many a place. A sense of purpose, and Snowshadow just didn't feel like he found his yet. — tags​