- May 16, 2023
- 332
- 57
- 28
Round paws found their way toward the fresh-kill pile that morning, quiet as a feathers fall. Poor habits turned like gears behind each careful step, deliberate silence set in her movement. The intent for muted action had become so ingrained in her natural gait that it was taken without any hesitation now, as if she were sneaking up on living prey despite it resting in a limp mound before her.
She hooked her jaw into the prime choice of a bream, her mouth water the moment scales brushed against a bristled tongue. Hazecloud had taken notice to how her appetite had increased despite the nausea that fluttered in and out of her gut. It passed like a river-mister breeze but it's waves were ruthless, crashing against her belly so hard she had to stand still lest she risk losing the lunch she had hungered for. Food was going to become far more precious than anything else the Clans could need, she knew from the days spent in the tundra, struggling to find morsels for even herself. There were nights they slept with only prayers to fuel them for the next day, and Hazecloud knew once the river froze over she would be met with such nights again.
Hopefully not...
While she tucked herself away to eat, resting against the flat surface of a jutting stone, she shifted to make herself comfortable. With the impending arrival of her new family, the molly felt weighted by the knowledge of how hungry the cold made a hunter. She would be among the first to eat, the few of her design that would eat first during such extremes. Hazecloud was aware the risk of what would be said about her. To her, no doubt, her Clan was not made of sneaky cowards. She may be faced with confrontation day by day, made to defend her decision to introduce a clutch in harsh conditions. Would it create an omen of her? Of her brood?
"Look at you, sitting alone." The pitch of a croaking tone flooded her face from any warmth. Smoke fur fought against the urge to bristle, forced to lay flat as fresh fields turned with fake warmth. The nausea had already returned the moment they rested on patched tortoiseshell fur, teeth flashing as she pulled her lips back in a rigid smile. A horrid mistake to find some time for herself alone. Why hadn't she waited for Lichentail's patrol to return?
"Dappleleaf." The word 'mother' was lost to her vocabulary when regarding the older molly. Anything nurturing, kind or loving was scarce in her method of rearing. Telling in the way she always made herself so quiet in her movements, unassuming and unheard to keep unwanted attention at bay. Telling in the way she had to sink her claws into the scaled skin of her meal to keep them from scoring against the stone when Dappleleaf decided to take a rest beneath her little platform.
"You're looking well." A poor lie in the way her voice cracked under her mother's intense stare. Dappleleaf caught it like a minnow in a current and for a moment, a flashing second Hazecloud tensed herself against striking claws.
"Do not lie. I'm getting old, losing my pretty young face. My muzzles grown gray, my bones creak in the wind. Oh, but I used to be so beautiful. A shame only your sister took after me... Thank goodness that Rookfang took pity on you." Hazecloud swallowed air, wondering what she could gain from speaking to the smoky molly now. Speaking of things she had no place in. Seasons spent so avoiding that judgemental stare. Keeping herself within a crowd her mother would not dare to part and interrupt. They both had their appearances to keep, and it seemed they both shared only their ugliest sides in private.
A satisfied 'hmph' puffed from the older mollys maw and she felt her jaw grow tight. Was that all? Is this all she had wanted to do, ever? Poke and prod at her like a sleeping beast and strike her back with fiery breath when she fought back? Days spend appeasing, avoiding, hiding, abiding, conforming, and for what? So she could sit there, weak from age and karmic deterioration and continue to flinch and shy away?
"Your age is showing, I don't know what you're talking about." Hazecloud sank her fangs into her mothers goading as she picked away scales. "Rookfang was fun and very sweet. But he became a weight, and I refuse to sink." Hazecloud began to laugh, genuinely, realizing quickly just how ridiculous this was. She had promised to her lover that their ties would be no secret. Nothing shamefully tucked away into the shadows of the field like it had been before. She learned her lesson from that, and she only needed to be taught once.
"Lichentail holds my love. Lichentail has held me afloat in the face of the strongest currents. Lichentail, in the sparkle of every star across silverpelt, knows they are nothing compared to my shine. Lichentail loves me, endlessly, and I have no reason to hide the devotion I have for her." A prideful smile graced her maw as she met Dappleleaf's gaze, steady, unmoving.
Silence stretched between them as they waited for the other to back down, a battle between shared stubborn defiance until at last the older of the pair scoffed. Stood abruptly and stormed away with muttered lashing that bounced off the smoke she-cat like water on a ducks back. Hazecloud watched her mother skulk back to the depths of the warriors den with smug satisfaction, finally enjoying her meal in peaceful quiet.
She hooked her jaw into the prime choice of a bream, her mouth water the moment scales brushed against a bristled tongue. Hazecloud had taken notice to how her appetite had increased despite the nausea that fluttered in and out of her gut. It passed like a river-mister breeze but it's waves were ruthless, crashing against her belly so hard she had to stand still lest she risk losing the lunch she had hungered for. Food was going to become far more precious than anything else the Clans could need, she knew from the days spent in the tundra, struggling to find morsels for even herself. There were nights they slept with only prayers to fuel them for the next day, and Hazecloud knew once the river froze over she would be met with such nights again.
Hopefully not...
While she tucked herself away to eat, resting against the flat surface of a jutting stone, she shifted to make herself comfortable. With the impending arrival of her new family, the molly felt weighted by the knowledge of how hungry the cold made a hunter. She would be among the first to eat, the few of her design that would eat first during such extremes. Hazecloud was aware the risk of what would be said about her. To her, no doubt, her Clan was not made of sneaky cowards. She may be faced with confrontation day by day, made to defend her decision to introduce a clutch in harsh conditions. Would it create an omen of her? Of her brood?
"Look at you, sitting alone." The pitch of a croaking tone flooded her face from any warmth. Smoke fur fought against the urge to bristle, forced to lay flat as fresh fields turned with fake warmth. The nausea had already returned the moment they rested on patched tortoiseshell fur, teeth flashing as she pulled her lips back in a rigid smile. A horrid mistake to find some time for herself alone. Why hadn't she waited for Lichentail's patrol to return?
"Dappleleaf." The word 'mother' was lost to her vocabulary when regarding the older molly. Anything nurturing, kind or loving was scarce in her method of rearing. Telling in the way she always made herself so quiet in her movements, unassuming and unheard to keep unwanted attention at bay. Telling in the way she had to sink her claws into the scaled skin of her meal to keep them from scoring against the stone when Dappleleaf decided to take a rest beneath her little platform.
"You're looking well." A poor lie in the way her voice cracked under her mother's intense stare. Dappleleaf caught it like a minnow in a current and for a moment, a flashing second Hazecloud tensed herself against striking claws.
"Do not lie. I'm getting old, losing my pretty young face. My muzzles grown gray, my bones creak in the wind. Oh, but I used to be so beautiful. A shame only your sister took after me... Thank goodness that Rookfang took pity on you." Hazecloud swallowed air, wondering what she could gain from speaking to the smoky molly now. Speaking of things she had no place in. Seasons spent so avoiding that judgemental stare. Keeping herself within a crowd her mother would not dare to part and interrupt. They both had their appearances to keep, and it seemed they both shared only their ugliest sides in private.
A satisfied 'hmph' puffed from the older mollys maw and she felt her jaw grow tight. Was that all? Is this all she had wanted to do, ever? Poke and prod at her like a sleeping beast and strike her back with fiery breath when she fought back? Days spend appeasing, avoiding, hiding, abiding, conforming, and for what? So she could sit there, weak from age and karmic deterioration and continue to flinch and shy away?
"Your age is showing, I don't know what you're talking about." Hazecloud sank her fangs into her mothers goading as she picked away scales. "Rookfang was fun and very sweet. But he became a weight, and I refuse to sink." Hazecloud began to laugh, genuinely, realizing quickly just how ridiculous this was. She had promised to her lover that their ties would be no secret. Nothing shamefully tucked away into the shadows of the field like it had been before. She learned her lesson from that, and she only needed to be taught once.
"Lichentail holds my love. Lichentail has held me afloat in the face of the strongest currents. Lichentail, in the sparkle of every star across silverpelt, knows they are nothing compared to my shine. Lichentail loves me, endlessly, and I have no reason to hide the devotion I have for her." A prideful smile graced her maw as she met Dappleleaf's gaze, steady, unmoving.
Silence stretched between them as they waited for the other to back down, a battle between shared stubborn defiance until at last the older of the pair scoffed. Stood abruptly and stormed away with muttered lashing that bounced off the smoke she-cat like water on a ducks back. Hazecloud watched her mother skulk back to the depths of the warriors den with smug satisfaction, finally enjoying her meal in peaceful quiet.
