private beautiful and vulnerable ] wrathpaw

lovelight

love so strong, it makes me feel so weak
Jan 31, 2024
28
6
3
The recent days have been... a lot, to say the least. Three deaths in such a short time, three murders. Lovelight has felt a sickening weight settle in his stomach, a constant, gnawing unease that hasn't budged since the moment he learned of his clanmates' deaths. Every breath feels heavy, every movement sluggish under the burden of grief and fear. He's sitting in the camp, staring down at a piece of prey that lies untouched before him. His appetite is nonexistent, and though he's making an effort to eat, barely a bite has been taken. The food feels tasteless, like ash in his mouth, and he can't force himself to swallow more than a few small pieces.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Wrathpaw, his younger brother, and a surge of protective instinct overtakes him. Without hesitation, Lovelight grabs his prey and hurries over, his movements quick and purposeful, as if being closer to Wrathpaw will somehow keep the shadows at bay. Settling beside his brother, he drops the prey to the ground, abandoning any pretense of eating. His focus is solely on Wrathpaw now. Leaning over, he presses his nose against the top of Wrathpaw's head, nuzzling him gently. It's a gesture meant to comfort, but it's also for himself—a desperate need to reassure his heart that his brother is safe, here in front of him.

"Wrathpaw," he murmurs, his voice tinged with worry, the word laced with unspoken fears. "How are you? Are you doing okay?" His tone is soft but slightly strained, the concern in his voice evident. Lovelight knows he's hovering, perhaps even being a bit overbearing, but he can't help it. The deaths have shaken him deeply, and the thought of anything happening to Wrathpaw or any of his siblings terrifies him. The fact that the murders have only claimed kittypets so far does little to soothe his anxiety. What if the killers' goals change? What if they begin targeting anyone sympathetic to kittypet blood? Lovelight knows that his soft heart and dislike of violence could make him a target, but his thoughts aren't on himself. They're on Wrathpaw, and the possibility that his little brother could be in danger.

"You haven't been going out of camp alone, right?" he asks, his voice tightening with concern. "It's not safe right now, not with those cats out there murdering our own. I... I don't want to see anything happen to you." His tail, usually so calm and gentle, now twines anxiously around Wrathpaw's smaller frame, as if by holding him close, he can somehow keep him safe from the dangers that lurk beyond the camp's borders.


@WRATHPAW
 
*+:。.。 Was it fair of Wrathpaw to share so deeply in his sibling's pain, yet for a wholly different reason? A wholly...unholy reason, actually? Despair chomps away at what remains of his insides, leaving Wrathpaw to walk listlessly from duty to duty, every step is heavy and pained, as though he must consciously fight against some unseen force that pulls at his hair and yanks at his tail, doing everything in it's unseen power to drag him away. He does his best to shove his feet into the dirt, feel it graze against his paw pads, and tickle his hidden nails, anchoring himself as best he can to the mortal plane, far, far from Starclan's reach...but as much as he tries to ground himself, he can only feel soft charcoal fur beneath his touch...

Wrathpaw jumps, back arched as a figure suddenly darts towards him. Deep blues are blown wide with anxiety, taking an uncomfortably long moment to focus enough to realize the cat that had approached him neither sought harm nor was he a stranger..."L..Lovelight" he breaths, each exhales is heavy and every following inhale is weak.

It would be comforting, to see another so distraught in as equal measure as he is. It'd be nice to know that someone else in the clan is wrecked with confusion and shame, for it's such a confusing set of emotions proceeding what he'd been told - what he believed - was a noble sacrifice. After all, among his friends, he seemed to be the only one hesitating, and among the rest of his clanmates...well, they couldn't possibly understand.

Unfortunately for Wrathpaw, Lovelight belonged to the former group.
And yet, looking up at his big sibling, blue eyes of a similarly dark hue filled with watery concern, Wrathpaw finds that his lip only quivers. "I...I'm not" he confesses weakly, tears filling the back of his throat with gravel - with pebbles. The boy recalls a time, suddenly, when he used to press into his big sibling, sobbing over the lingering fears that persisted even after he'd woken from his nightmares, only for his big sibling to banish the ghouls in his memories with gentle caresses and comforting words. He wished Lovelight could do that for him now, too.

But the only ghoul here to banish is the one who stands stiffly before Lovelight. As she frets about the danger, Wrathpaw can only sink deeper into the soft grey that tickles his paws, the earth trembling beneath his toes like the writhing flesh of a life that refuses to die. A life that didn't have a choice in the matter. Wrathpaw can only stare blankly at Lovelight as she turns that concern onto the one who brought it out of her in the first place, unable to respond, unable to apologize. So instead, painfully, the boy only whispers, "I uh - I'll be okay"

Because as a murderer, he would be.
Even if as a sinner, he'll never be okay again.

"How...uh...how're you...? Um..." he fumbles he attempts to change the subject before his eyes wander past Lovelight to the prey he abandoned. "Are...are you not hungry?"



  • GENERAL:
    Wrathpaw
    DMAB— He/Him
    10 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
    Brother to Lovelight, Joywing, Laughblossom || Pridepaw, Merrypaw
    Thunderclan — apprentice
    Mentored by Wildheart


    COMBAT:
    Physically mediocre | mentally very easy
    Attack in bold #4a59ff
    injuries: None currently , mentally unwell
    "SPEECH"
 
Lovelight’s gaze lingers on Wrathpaw, his heart aching at the sight of his sibling. Wrathpaw, once so full of life, now looks lost and weighed down by an overwhelming sense of despair. The usually bright eyes are clouded with anguish, and he can hear the tremors in Wrathpaw’s voice and the heaviness of each step he takes. It’s like a shadow has fallen over him, and Lovelight feels it pressing down on himself, too. As Wrathpaw looks up, his eyes wide and filled with a mixture of anxiety and a desperate need for comfort, Lovelight feels a pang of sorrow. “Wrathpaw, you don’t have to put on a brave face for me,” he says gently, his voice filled with concern. “I can see you’re struggling. It’s okay to feel lost right now.”

Lovelight takes a cautious step closer, his expression softening. The disconnection between Wrathpaw’s visible struggle and the recent events that have shaken their clan is palpable, and Lovelight shares in that turmoil. He sees the effort Wrathpaw makes to push away his pain, trying to shift the focus to something as mundane as hunger. When Wrathpaw stumbles over his words, trying to change the subject, Lovelight shakes his head slightly. He offers a faint smile, though it is tinged with his own sadness. “I’m not hungry,” he replies softly. “You can have it if you like. Right now, what matters most is making sure you’re okay. If you need to talk or just need someone to be here with you, I’m here.”

Lovelight’s eyes, filled with empathy and warmth despite the fear and worry ever-present in them, never leave Wrathpaw. “You’re not alone in this,” he continues, his voice steady despite the stress inside him. “There's so much going on, and it’s alright to lean on each other. We’ll get through this together, no matter how heavy it all feels. We have each other. I'm here for you. Laughblossom and I will always look out for you, you know?” He hopes that his words can offer even a small measure of comfort to Wrathpaw, who is struggling so deeply. Amidst the chaos and uncertainty of their world, Lovelight wants to be a source of steadfast support and understanding for his sibling. "We both love you so much. I'll be here for you, no matter what happens. I want you to always be able to trust me, so no matter what, I'm here, okay?"