private BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL ✦ lionpaw

DOEBLAZE

DOEBLAZE

ghost and god.
SkyClan Lead Warrior Unity [SKC '24] Journey [Sitewide Event '23] SkyClan 10K
May 5, 2023
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Late morning announces itself with panels of autumn sunlight shot through the evergreen trees, broken apart only by the wind whipping through the branches. Golden light scatters into shards and recollects itself with every powerful gust, a teacup falling in perpetuity as Doeblaze falls into step with her son.

High wind blusters between the trunks, whipping her thick cheek-fur into ribbons of white-shot lilac, but it does not dissuade her as she makes her choice of a tree carefully. Affection is a low, banked-embers glow in her eye as she glances over at @LIONPAW between assessments of the pine before them, gesturing with her tail for him to follow her into it.

" Have you thought about what your warrior name might be? It'll be here before you know it. " Her younger children have officially crossed into the realm of senior apprenticeship, when their assessments have just become a sun on a distant horizon. A wistful sigh unwinds itself from her chest ... it feels like only yesterday they were just three tiny scraps at her flank. Doeblaze hooks her claws into the bark and darts up the trunk with the speed of an ever-moving bird, coming to earth on a low-hanging branch.
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Lionpaw's standing as a senior apprentice is not lost on him — quite the opposite, in fact, as he constantly thinks about how warriorhood is within reach. At the same time, kithood is a distant memory now, feelings of curling up next to the warmth of his mother and littermates in their cozy nest inspiring the occasional pang of nostalgia. They would never experience that again, they remind themselves. He was nearly an adult now; for the rest of his life, his duty would be to SkyClan and defend it with his life. It was foolish to yearn for the simplicity of childhood, they know, so why can't he help himself sometimes?

These moments with Doeblaze, scarce nowadays and cherished, offered the apprentice a brief escape from grueling training and tasks. Lionpaw treated his mother like any other clanmate, his public displays of familial affection having dwindled more and more as his schooling progressed. Little talks were how they remained tethered to their relationship; how they stayed in touch as they went about their lives.

Speaking of growing up, Doeblaze brings up the idea of Lionpaw's warrior name. A kithood dream was now so close to becoming a reality; Lionpaw still could not entirely fathom it. " 'm not sure." The chocolate torbie point mews, flicking an ear and craning his neck back as his mother takes to the trunk first. They follow suit with relative ease, their climbing skills having improved steadily over the moons.

Chocolate limbs pull him onto the low-hanging branch near his mother, not terribly close though a respectful distance. Lionpaw looks ahead at the array of evergreens, sitting in a brief silence and pondering upon Doeblaze's question. Practically every apprentice had a warrior name for themselves already, or perhaps ideas of suffixes that they'd like to bear, but Lionpaw had never paid much mind to it. They always figured that they'd wait for the time to come instead of wishing and wanting. "What name would you give me?" Lionblaze has a nice ring to it, he supposes.

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 ✹ . + 　 　˚ 　　　　 · 　 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘
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He joins her effortlessly in the trees, and Doeblaze's muzzle crooks into a proud smile she doesn't bother trying to disguise. The air, the sun, her son—it all feels warm and bright and so good she can't help but let her face show it. It's as far from that distant, dark place as she thinks she can ever hope to get. If anything, she's sorry it's taken her so long to feel this way again, that it's only now she can deliver her best to her children instead of so long ago, when it had counted the most. She lets that thought flutter away on broken wings before it can weigh her down anew, watching her son with a pale gaze that nearly glows with fondness.

I still don't see him enough, she thinks, feeling feathery hints of sadness intrude despite her efforts, I don't see any of them enough. It makes these moments, held cupped in her paw like a gift, all the more precious. It's normal, she knows, even if her own upbringing had been different. In the Clans, divergence came naturally, separating from one another as you fell into your own lives within the greater one the Clan shared. Little birds lost in a flock. It can't help the nostalgic sting, though, or the way she still sees that squirming little scrap every time she looks at him. She suspects nothing can help that, and she's gladder for it.

" Hmm ... " The question he puts to her is difficult but surprisingly welcome. It will be Orangestar who names him, of course, but it's nice to think of what she would name him. To think of what his father would've (should've, she thinks almost guiltily) named him. It's so strange, no matter how hard she tries to acclimate to it—the notion that her babies will be joining their half-siblings in the warriors' den in a matter of moons, rather than seasons. Doeblaze drapes herself carefully over her branch of choice, watching Lionpaw watch the trees.

" Lionblaze might get confusing. " Golden light washes them both, setting his pelt aflame in a nearly painfully familiar way. She lets her claws flex leisurely in and out of the craggy bark, underpaw. Tasting the name, it doesn't sound quite right in her mouth; then again, perhaps they'd all sound strange. A brief silence fills the air and then she murmurs, " Lionheart, maybe. " A pause, and she adds, " I think ... I think if your father'd ever had a warrior name, it would have been Blazeheart. He was a lot like you in that way. "
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His father being robbed of the opportunity to bestow a warrior name upon him was something that the apprentice thought about often... perhaps too often. What would have Blazestar named his son? What qualities would he have seen in him that others didn't? What conversations would they have shared together and bonded over? However, as the era of apprenticeship neared an end, Lionpaw had to remind himself that dreaming about events that never happened would not benefit him.

It was the little moments like these, though—the small tokens of affirmation that Doeblaze and other clanmates offered him—that stoked hopeful embers within Lionpaw's soul. His goal had always been to embody a perfect SkyClan warrior and for his mother to compare him to the great Blazestar... his paws tingled at the thought of it. "Really?" The chocolate torbie point mews, blue gaze shining in awe as he could not help himself. If the flame point leader himself could not speak to him, then Doeblaze's praises were the next best thing.

Suddenly, a pang of grief and longing aches in his heart—longing for a presence who he'd never even met. Longing for togetherness, wholeness, a part of his life that had always been missing. I wish he were here, Ma. I wish I could've known him. I wish we could've all been a family. Deep-rooted thoughts long buried within his subconscious threaten to bubble to the surface, up his throat and through his lips. His gaze grows heavier by the moment, admission teetering on the edge of his tongue, though self-restraint ultimately overpowers him and forces his feelings down into a pit again. He had to be strong for her, for the clan. Lionpaw was so close to warriorhood already; what kind of warrior would he be if he couldn't even talk about his late father without turning into a blubbering mess?

They decide that it would be better to keep the conversation of warrior names going, lest Lionpaw's composure risks crumbling. "Maybe I'll be Lionstrike, or Lionclaw. I think I've been gettin' better at fightin', lately." The chocolate torbie point shares, giving a flex of ivory daggers into the skin of the tree. It wasn't as if they were as good as Emberfall had been in her apprenticeship, but they'd been getting better! Maybe, by the end of his training with Crowsight, he'd surpass her and beat her in a spar.

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 ✹ . + 　 　˚ 　　　　 · 　 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄
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