OOC: So sorry for the length of this! T-T Her actual reaction/response to Juniperfrost starts at paragraph four; everything before that is just internal narrative/reactions to the previous posts, so feel free to skip or skim it!
TAGS — Sunstride's confident retort and towering presence beside her snap the apprentice out of her turbulent thoughts. She tips her head back to stare up at him through round eyes, something like relief flooding her gaze.
It's not coddling to care for a clanmate. No, yeah, he's right. Yewberry's one of them, and WindClan's all about loyalty to one another. Not everyone has to be tough to deserve respect; she works her tail off for the clan, and her own timid nature doesn't detract from that... (right?). Right. She's not a fighter, but she has her uses. Everyone does. She's still valuable. Even the intimidatingly severe Lynxtooth had come to her defense when Firepaw picked on her, and he hadn't scorned Icepaw for needing the assistance.
Then Juniperfrost goes on. A... complaining burden. So this is a special case — Icepaw's never been much of a complainer, always reluctant to suggest any semblance of dissatisfaction with her life and work here, and she's confident that she's too dedicated to ever be considered a burden. But still, his remark about soft paws stings a bit. It's hard not to feel like it applies to her, but at the same time she has to remind herself that it doesn't. She's fine. This isn't about her. She has the makings of a good tunneler, and she cares so much about WindClan. Maybe Yewberry's one of the cats whose loyalty Sootstar was concerned about? If he's been complaining so much...
But then they think about Sunstride's words again and start to feel guilty. Yewberry had sworn fealty to Sootstar upon request, and clearly he's trying his best. He even manages to stammer out a suggested punishment despite how clearly uncomfortable he is, which is honestly a bit painful to watch. Just the thought of being in his position worsens the anxiety currently plaguing her. This is a kind of strength in itself, isn't it, being able to speak up at all under all of this pressure and scorn? But, at the same time, it shouldn't have had to be such a struggle in the first place when he's doing something as simple as disciplining an apprentice. It's not like anyone's against it, other than Rampaw and Strawpaw, and why should their opinions outweigh their seniors? Ah, this is all so overwhelming... If only she could somehow get up and sneak off, remove herself from this situation altogether. Just observing quietly is incredibly stressful; if they were to swap places with Yewberry, victim to all of this intense scrutiny and humiliation, she might have a panic attack on the spot.
They can feel their attention slipping again, eaten away by their nerves as their pale gaze drops back down to their paws. That is, until their own name suddenly falls from Juniperfrost's sharp tongue with a level of admonishment that they aren't expecting in the slightest. Not that they were expecting to be brought into this ordeal at all. Shock is written all over her features as she looks up to meet Juniperfrost's gaze, eyes wide and jaws slightly parted. She vigorously shakes her head in response to his first question, but his second one turns her into a deer in headlights, frozen in place.
"Uhm..." Eventually she tears her eyes away from the intimidating warrior and glances this way and that, looking to Yewberry, Rampaw, Sootstar, and all the onlooking warriors for some kind of guidance, or a visual aid on how she should respond, but in the state she's in she barely processes anyone's expressions or what anyone might be saying around her.
To be completely honest, Icepaw really does agree with Juniperfrost; Rampaw was entirely,
insanely out of line, and Yewberry's suggested punishment isn't nearly severe enough. Everyone knows it. But still...
she doesn't want to be the one to come up with an alternative. What if it's not good enough and Juniperfrost gets mad at her next? What if he gives
her extra chores, or some other punishment comparable to whatever he might come up with for Rampaw? But what if her suggestion
is good enough to satisfy him, and then
Rampaw gets mad at her? Everyone here trains with their claws unsheathed... what if he takes his anger out on her during training? Or any other time? She's proven herself time and time again to be something of a pushover when it comes to something as mild as her peers' teasing; if he's seen her interactions with Firepaw he'd know full well that she's an easy target in just about every sense. And if not, well, it's not like she exudes a particularly tough or intimidating aura. StarClan, she feels sick.
"Uh... a-a week of chores?" Her voice comes out shaky, which she internally kicks herself for. It's hard to think of anything worse in her near-panic, and as much as she wishes she could for her own sake, she also hopes what she's already offered isn't drastic enough to earn Rampaw's hatred.