big girls don't cry | sad

[Howlfire]

Since the gathering, Howlpaw has been a little down in the dumps, to say the least. Realistically, she knew things would never be the same between her and her siblings after she and Fireflypaw had joined SkyClan, but she had hoped things could still be civil between them. Judging by how Burnpaw and Moonpaw had reacted this was not to be the case. Howlpaw had so desperately wanted to speak with them again, ask after their training, boast about her defence of SkyClan against WindClan. Instead, she returned home with troubled thoughts and heavy paws. She had kept it together pretty well for the following few days, but now that time had passed, she could feel the encounter weighing on her. The harsh words of her siblings cut like claws into the skin.

Traitor. Stranger. Selfish.

Howlpaw did not consider herself to be the sort of cat whose spirit was so easily broken but hearing those words from her siblings hurt more than she liked to let on. ​

 

[sheepcurl]

Ever since the raid from Windclan, Sheep has kept some tabs on the apprentices. Shes worried beyond belief for them, of wounds both physical and mental despite them fighting like true warriors. She adores the youth of the clan and with innocence she wants to protect, you'd bet your ass she'd know, or at least try to know. And... Howlpaw looked down, which had broke her heart, so once Howl had a moment of free-time, Sheep heads over with metaphorical brows quirked upwards.

"Hola, Howlpaw," Blazestars daughter, and like Firefly she realizes that Howl has grown so tremendously much. "Everything okay?" they're not close, but Howl is her mates apprentice so Sheep hopes Howl knows she at least means well. Sheep would sit down and curl her tail over her paws, head tilted in a quizzical manner. Like Greenpaw, she wouldn't push her if she didn't want to talk about it, but it hurts her heart to see the other hurting. ​

"speech"​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar's encounter with Little Wolf has left him disquieted since his return to the Gathering, although for different reasons than Howlpaw. The burden of his knowledge is heavy and lies like a stone upon his shoulders. His mate is pregnant again, and there will be no border meetings to check on her condition. There will be no starlit chats about names for the kits, no speculation on how many there will be, what their personalities will be. There will be no border birth, no trips between the Clans for these kits.

There will be no Blazestar, no SkyClan, for them at all, and it hurts him deeply to think about.

He has not noticed Howlpaw's dejected state, too lost in his own affairs and the affairs of the Clan he leads, but when he sees Sheepcurl approaching her with a worried expression on her face, Blazestar's frown is immediate. "Is something wrong, Howlpaw?" His brain begins to buzz with all that is wrong -- what could he possibly choose from?​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[REDSTORM !]

Redstorm has noticed his apprentices dejected state, has seen the way she keeps a downcast gaze on the ground, the way her tail drags on the way home from the gathering. He is disappointed, to say the least, she has yet to have a good gathering experience from his memory.

On the way home, there are too many cats about for him to ask her what had gone so wrong. Even now, other cats flock to the chocolate tabby she cat, his mate and her father included. He had wanted to come to her and ask what had happened but it seemed Blazestar and Sheepcurl had already beat him to it. He presses himself close to the cinnamon colored molly, taking a moment to press his nose against her head in an affectionate greeting before he turns his attention back to his apprentice, blue eyes trained on her as he awaits her response.
​

 

[Howlfire]

It's not long before cats wander over, curious about what has her so down. Sheepcurl, her father, and Redstorm. Their eyes were all trained on her form, curious and concern flashing in their eyes. For a little while, she considers not responding, not wanting to drag up memories of the gathering. However, under the gaze of so many cats - those of her father and mentor especially - she caves.

"I'm alright, I guess," Howlpaw responds to Sheepcurl's question, giving a half-hearted shrug. "I was just thinking of things that were said at the gathering." To the unknowing parties, she could well have been talking about the bickering between the leaders, or her own spat with Chrysalispaw towards that WindClan apprentice. "Burnpaw and Moonpaw said some things," She continued, this time addressing her father as she spoke. "But it was nothing really. You know how siblings are." Howlpaw laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood as best she could, despite her obvious discomfort.,​

 

[ThistleBack]

Blazestar and Sheepcurl are speaking to a very disheartened Howlpaw. It was strange, to see sadness on father and daughters face sewn so similar by hand of shared blood.

" Sibling or not. Words are powerful. It wasn’t nothing. " Thistleback states from the sidelines he stood idly, though he wore not the wool of concern so passive and soft as is common to be gentle. He was an instructor of hardship, and if you are to teach the ways of the cold how could you be warm?

Words were far sharper than claws if used properly, if tailored enough to break hearts and twist nerves. What more lethal a weapon than the ability to cut with thy tongue. Was that not why our feline tongues are bladed to peel skin off prey bone? It was hardly his place. Thistleback had children, this apprentice was not one of them.

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OOC INFO REF

• —
  
  
• 
  
  
  ✧ T H I S T L E B A C K
  thirty-three moons
  — Lead warrior of Skyclan
  — taken by
  Deersong 9.29.22
  — mentoring quillpaw
  — very muscular piebald black and white tom with spiky fur and cold silver-grey eyes.
  — voice & accent
  — biography･ﾟ✧​
  OPEN for Dice battles | stine#3004
  
• 
  
  

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[Fireflyglow]

Though I am not close, and yet not far- I am with you. We're with each other. Forever, because we're five points to a star together. Because we were made out of love, even if it didn't last long. The echo of his own words is fresh on his mind, though the soft words of his sister is quick to gather his attention. He listens from a distance, ears swiveling as he seats himself on the ground. He looks as if he's pondering something, eyes shut and face scrunched up into an awkward expression similar to a frown. Cats come to check on her, as they should, but Fireflypaw waits. Blazestar asks if she's alright, she reassures them that she's fine.

She talks about their siblings. He nods his head in silent agreement. The words they say hurt, but it's how they feel. Fireflypaw can't make people feel things, can't change their mind if they aren't willing to listen.

"We're only kids," He speaks aloud as he stands up, wandering over with a wistful expression. "We couldn't control what happened. Moonie and Burnie just need time. They're hurting. But so are we." He breathes out the words, eyes cracking open to look at his baby sister adoringly. He pushes his face against her own, nuzzling her before he seats himself close to her. Thistleback speaks truths, words are powerful. He nods his head in agreement.

"It's not our fault. We made our choice, but we aren't bad for choosing SkyClan. We aren't traitors, Howlpaw."​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Howlpaw tells them all, "I'm alright, I guess." Dejected and dispirited, she offers them only a glimpse of what's transpired at the Gathering. "Burnpaw and Moonpaw said some things. You know how siblings are." Blazestar frowns, his tail flicking in idle thought. Truthfully, he doesn't know how siblings are; he'd not seen his own littermates since he could tolerate solid kibble, and the relationships between his children often confound him.

When Howlpaw laughs, Blazestar attempts to return her smile, but Fireflypaw wanders over, shining light on the enigma. "It's not our fault. We aren't traitors, Howlpaw."

Blazestar's blood seems to freeze. He flinches from the pain of this innocent verbal blow -- it's as bad as an enemy's claws to his face. "They... they called you that? Traitors?" His face falls, the light dying from his eyes. His kits are suffering again, because of him, because of the duty he has to lead SkyClan, because of the selfish love he has for their mother and the strain it's worn on them all.

Blazestar can't reassure them, neither his youngest nor his oldest. His kits are being torn apart by the boundary that runs between Little Wolf and him now. He stares at his paws, resentment beginning to build -- resentment at himself.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

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[Howlfire]

Eventually Fireflypaw makes his way over, and like the good big brother he has always been, he is there to comfort and reassure her. His face was a steadying presence among all the upheaval and madness in their lives. Thistleback's words are stark and honest. But he was right. Words had power. Like Fireflypaw, she nods her head appreciatively to his words.

Fireflypaw is the one who eventually drops the reveal of what was said and she can see the light die in her father's eyes. When he asks if that was what they were called, Howlpaw nods with a sombre expression. "Yes," She confirms, a bitter note lacing her words. "They basically insinuated we were selfish for choosing SkyClan instead of ThunderClan. Instead of mom. Instead of them." Howlpaw lets out a long sigh, looking between her father and her brother for a moment, knowing they were the two cats present who knew the most about how she felt. Of the pain of being torn between two worlds. She slowly tears her eyes away from her family and looks at the faces of the SkyClan cats who had come to join them. Her other family in a sense. "I won't deny that their words stung but I don't regret my choice." It almost feels like a reassurance to herself and to the SkyClan cats present. And more importantly, like a reassurance to her father too. An acknowledgement that she doesn't regret choosing SkyClan, nor choosing him.​

 

[sweetnose]

"That's so mean, Howlpaw, I'm really sorry they said that about you two." Sweetpaw tucks their paws underneath them as they crouch down nearby Howlpaw, sparing some distance between them but offering their comfort nonetheless. They hadn't been around during the days of Blazestar's kits running rampant between their two Clans, only aware of their fate from discussion of warriors and hushed whispers of the apprentices when they thought nobody could hear them (Sweetpaw had always been too polite to say that they could hear every word, unwilling to intrude on a private moment). There's not much that they can add to the conversation aside from that, so they don't - instead opting to settle in quietly as a gentle support beside their new family in SkyClan. That's something they had in common, somewhat, isn't it? Entirely different upbringings leading to the same Clan. There's something comforting, to that.​