private BLACK HONEY - Sootsprite

HOUNDTHISTLE · Jun 16, 2023

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"

He'd been able to slip away from his camp for a small period of time, movements unsure as his head flicked to and fro, on alert always. His eye, still scabbed and bloodied, was now a ghostly pale citrine in his skull, a sightless ghost he now adorned and adjusted to slowly. His paws led him, carefully, through the moors as the sun shone overhead, the winds that once blew with the vengeance of Starclan itself now were more tolerable whips of air through his tender, battle-weary form. Eventually, the four large oaks overlooked and he, once more, felt that familiar grinding in his gut of oh so long ago waiting to see a specific face once more. It'd been in the woods but the wall of bared wood had separated them, now borders and politics did and Houndthistle, despite his heart's yearning, knew what he should do. The right thing for not only himself and Windclan, but also for her.

The great oaks towered overhead, branches swaying within the wind as he walked forward, made small just a bit as he entered the clearing that still smelled of all the clans. A sea of scents overwhelming even as stale as they are. If he focused hard enough, perhaps he could pick out individual clanmates, but there was one scent he hoped to smell and he waited, nestled by some roots of one of the trees, once more for that familiar face of black curly fur. And this time, it wasn't with joy or forlorn sadness in his gaze, only that cold guardedness, that determination that his choice was right and nothing could sway him otherwise.

"speech"

OOC CURRENT STATS INTERACTION RULES

@Sootspritespark. >:)
Physical Health

68%
⤷ left eye is blinded, deep bite wound and claw marks in chest, stomach, face, and shoulders. Currently offscreen healing thanks to Wolfsong and Vulturemask
Mental Health

98%
Single | Bicurious | Not actively looking | Interested in Wolfsong, Scorchstreak, Sootspritespark

Houndthistle is both an easy one to gain the trust of and impossible to gain the trust of. He'll rarely reveal personal information or be vulnerable-if he's even capable of such things-but he will show trust in his willingness to lay his life down. To gain it, he needs evidence that you're loyal and strong, same as him, otherwise he understands he may one day have to come head to head with you.

— will start fights / will not flee / will not show mercy
— excels at Fighting, Tracking, Following Orders, Intimidation
— poor at climbing, swimming, stealth, talking, strategy, politics
— sounds like: deep, gravelled and thick with a sort of country accent / Arthur Morgan
— smells of iron, leather, and wood
— speech is #435E75

✧ Sootspritespark. · Jun 16, 2023

She feels naked without her collar, exposed - like a piece of her has been lost. Sure, once she goes home she only needs to leave the thing somewhere her twolegs will find it, like beneath the couch or by the dog-door, but until then there is little that separates her from those with owners and those without. She shudders, eyes closing for a moment as she thinks back upon the unsightly seen - she should've run, fled, prioritized saving herself but how could she? Perhaps she's grown to care more about these foolish clan cats than she'd wanted to admit.

Another walk to clear her head, to rest away from all the noise - another encounter with him. Except, she nearly doesn't recognize him, but how can she not? A quiet choked gasp is all she can manage for a moment, eyes watering as she swallows slowly. "Oh... your poor face," the words are hushed, and certainly don't come out the way she wants, but there's hardly a moment for her to gasp this fact.

Were she who she was before, she'd reach out a paw, ask what had happened, if he is okay. One limb almost does just that, reaching out, but she pauses, freezing, and lets it fall again, limp. Because she's not - they're not. And they haven't been for a long time. She'd been simply holding onto the past selfishly, a regret she'd been to shamed to voice - to beg forgiveness. But after witnessing what she has today, after seeing him like this?

What's the point of petty pride if she spends the rest of her life dwelling upon the choices she's made? "... you asked me last time, if it was what I had dreamed of, if it was what I'd hoped," she says instead, pale gaze haunted, voice quiet. "Its not - it's much worse, and yet much more than I could have ever dreamed of," he doesn't ask, but she tells him anyways - gets out the words she'd nearly said before. "I'm... sorry. For what I've done, for what I did. I took a cowards way out - but I do not think I'd have made another choice, even now,"

Curls bounce as her tail twitches, and she has to look away - she feel dizzy, sick. "... I could've died today," she says slowly, the words feeling heavy upon her tongue moreso than the fight itself had. "But I didn't." she hardly believes it herself. She thinks she might still be in shock - something hysterical bubbling within her chest, but she forces it back down. "And all I could think, was that I never apologized to you, not once, that I might never get to,"

Selfish are her desires - they always are, even to the bitter end. She seeks closure for herself, to put an end to her regrets, to her what if's and could have been's. But yellow eyes are as steadfast in her determination as his remaining copper. This is the end - of them, of their story. Of making choices she will one day regret. This was always meant to end only one way - the same as it should've, long ago.

HOUNDTHISTLE · Jun 16, 2023

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"

She appears and he nearly feels his heart stop once more at the sight of her. When will that ever stop? When will he lose this damned weakness of his own, that his heart skips for a cat who both didn't want his love and he shouldn't think of so fondly. His ears flick back, moving his face as he's aware she's staring at his wound to turn the ugly, scabbed-over injury from her view, shame painting his features. Here he was, breaking the warrior code and betraying his clan by exposing a weakness, by showing how wounded he was, to an enemy. His tongue darts from his mouth sheepishly, licking his extended incisors as she murmurs. It aches him, it hurts worse than any wound to see that look on her face, but by the stars if things were different, he'd likely come to her bloodied and broken just to see that look any other time. Atleast then, he'd know she cared in some way.

But he steels himself, inhaling deeply. I'll live," He responded, voice quiet. He had to shake this guilt from himself, he needed this, more than anything, and as he opens his mouth, she speaks, cutting him off before he can start, and he quiets himself, listening as she finally answers his question. He's silent, emotionless as he listens to her express how difficult but how amazing it is for her, but what does crack that is the apology. It makes his eyes shut, brows twitching with frustration. Oh how tenderness can show how wounded one truly is, his claws digging into the dirt beneath him as he inhales deeply, the air expanding his lungs doing nothing to stop that aching void grow in his chest. The touches of others couldn't ever fill that hollow, but he knew that this apology was more for her then it was him. He was stupid, but he wasn't that dumb.

He lifts his head as she speaks of how she almost died, thinking how much she'd regret not apologizing for something she didn't even regret. If ya don' regret it, don' apologize. It's empty anyway," He speaks coldly, tail lashing behind him. That yearning pain was now fuel to that growing sense of betrayal and anger, festering deep within. I'm riskin' my hide... my son's hide bein' 'ere right now, only fer ya to tell me yer sorry for somethin' ya don' even truly feel sorry fer?" He asks, tilting his head as he narrowed his eyes, looking at her straight on so she can see just how horrendous his face looked. Gaze upon the consequences I give for my clan, and understand just how much I've risked for you. What's t'point, Sootsprite? Ya come 'ere, ya have that-that look on yer face, and ya tell me yer sorry for leavin' me after promisin' you'd be mine but add ya ain' even sorry for it? How-how... that's-" He's smiling, but not a true smile, it's one of disbelief as he waves his paws frivolously, bewildered at the logic behind her actions. How cruel must the stars be, how cruel must she be, to do this to him? Closure was something he wanted more than anything, that was his purpose, but if she wanted it aswell, damn straight he wouldn't give it to her until he got his.

"speech"

OOC CURRENT STATS INTERACTION RULES

text
Physical Health

68%
⤷ left eye is blinded, deep bite wound and claw marks in chest, stomach, face, and shoulders. Currently offscreen healing thanks to Wolfsong and Vulturemask
Mental Health

98%
Single | Bicurious | Not actively looking | Interested in Wolfsong, Scorchstreak, Sootspritespark

Houndthistle is both an easy one to gain the trust of and impossible to gain the trust of. He'll rarely reveal personal information or be vulnerable-if he's even capable of such things-but he will show trust in his willingness to lay his life down. To gain it, he needs evidence that you're loyal and strong, same as him, otherwise he understands he may one day have to come head to head with you.

— will start fights / will not flee / will not show mercy
— excels at Fighting, Tracking, Following Orders, Intimidation
— poor at climbing, swimming, stealth, talking, strategy, politics
— sounds like: deep, gravelled and thick with a sort of country accent / Arthur Morgan
— smells of iron, leather, and wood
— speech is #435E75

✧ Sootspritespark. · Jun 16, 2023

The intensity of his words, the ferocity, the hurt, takes her aback - so much so, that she stumbles, paws hurriedly carrying her backwards as she shies away in surprise. "I- that's- that's not what I meant!" voice raises, shoulders hunching - as though her own frustration is only feeding off of his. Perhaps it is, he's not the only one with a bit of a temper. aw works furiously for a moment, mind scrambling to try and find the right words, completely out of her depth as she is.

She deserves this, the biting sting of betrayal her burden to bear, but being faced with the reality of it is much, mush worse than her expectations. "I should've told you, shouldn't have just left without a word! I should've at least done that, I know! But how could I chose between you and them!" voice raises, wavering and warbling, and eyes well with tears. Why is it only ever him that seems to get a raise out of her these days - brings to the surface such emotions that she wants to burry, wants to forget.

Body sags, curls bouncing for a moment as she inhales, a sharp, gasping breath. "I was yours - but I was theirs too. How could I leave them?" it'd be doing the same thing she'd done to him - oh, the irony. This time, the hysterical half-sob half-laugh bubbling in her chest does make it past her throat, a pitiful sound. "I'm sorry- I am, I am," she mutters for a moment. "Not for choosing them - but for hurting you,"

It makes little difference in the end. She expects little to come from her apologies, to little and to late. She'd made her bed, she'll lie in it. But it hurts - more than she'd expected, more than she wants to face. What a cruel world this is, brining her to him when this was always how the story was meant to end.

HOUNDTHISTLE · Jun 16, 2023

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"

He stood, taking a step toward her. He'd never hurt her, he never could on his own accord, but the fire that burned his veins made his intimidating size real, his single eye of firey orange and reds burn like the sun, only made more intense by a glitter of moisture at the waterline. "If ya knew, then why didn' ya?! Were ya scared? Did I scare you?" He asks, voice strained, the complex sea of emotions overwhelming. And it was all made worse as he looked at those tears glitter in her eyes, making him more frustrated, more desperate for this straight answer he so desperately grasped for that he wasn't even sure he knew what it was. "Ya knew I'd never lay a claw on ya! I'd have done anythin' fer ya! Three days! I waited three days, Sootsprite, 'n ya didn' even come 'n tell me? I know yer folks let ya out, so what? Ya jus' hid?!" He grasps, desperately for an explanation, hoping to strangle the truth from her even if it's something he didn't want to hear.

I was yours! Houndthistle's lips peeled back, snarling as he slams his foot on the ground, shaking his head like a kit throwing a fit. "Don' give me that!" He spat, tail kinking behind him in anger. It boiled and writhed beneath the surface, threatening to explode as he listened to her make excuse after excuse. "I was a toy! That's all I was t'ya! Somethin' to keep ya entertained, to regale you with stories! I tol' you everythin' because those weren't stories! That was my life! I killed my father! I killed all those cats, I nearly died many times! But they didn't mean nothin' to ya cause you were safe in those creature's den, fed plump on endless food and given safety! Ya don' even know me now! I have a son Sootsprite! I have a son I thought died out 'ere in the forests, in the wild! I face it all alone while you-" He's nearly hysterical now, words pouring from his mouth before he could even grasp everything he was admitting. He was talking to talk, to hear himself talk and to finally, finally get all those words out. But before he could get anymore worked up, he snapped his jaws closed, growling lowly as he turned to take a few steps away from her, face toward his home. But his paws stopped him before he could leave, tail lashing, as, once more, he hoped maybe she'd say something to make him stay. The past digs cruelly into his pelt like stubborn thorns and he'd always hope for something to make him stay...

"speech"

OOC CURRENT STATS INTERACTION RULES

text
Physical Health

68%
⤷ left eye is blinded, deep bite wound and claw marks in chest, stomach, face, and shoulders. Currently offscreen healing thanks to Wolfsong and Vulturemask
Mental Health

98%
Single | Bicurious | Not actively looking | Interested in Wolfsong, Scorchstreak, Sootspritespark

Houndthistle is both an easy one to gain the trust of and impossible to gain the trust of. He'll rarely reveal personal information or be vulnerable-if he's even capable of such things-but he will show trust in his willingness to lay his life down. To gain it, he needs evidence that you're loyal and strong, same as him, otherwise he understands he may one day have to come head to head with you.

— will start fights / will not flee / will not show mercy
— excels at Fighting, Tracking, Following Orders, Intimidation
— poor at climbing, swimming, stealth, talking, strategy, politics
— sounds like: deep, gravelled and thick with a sort of country accent / Arthur Morgan
— smells of iron, leather, and wood
— speech is #435E75

✧ Sootspritespark. · Jun 16, 2023

"No. Never, not even once," startled, surprised, hurt, but never scared. How could she ever be? Nearly everything she knows was once learned from him, she'd never once thought he'd hurt her - not even when she was just a stupid kittypet strolling right on up to a complete stranger, much to confident and carefree for her own good. Tears finally fall as she looks at him, really looks. "Yes. I ran, and I hid like a coward. But I never expected that you'd stay - that you'd wait. Certainly not three days. I stayed and hid in my nest for two moons, like a coward, expecting you to live your life without me," she says listlessly, voice firm as she speaks the truth of the matter.

"I never once thought of them as just stories, never once thought of you as anything than my love," she says, taking one pawstep forwards at a time, following after him, a slow chase that doesn't seem to carry either of them very far. It's one thing to be upset with her for her mistakes, her choices, her stupidity - but to deny what they'd had? To speak of it all as though it had never mattered - as though moons of her life had never existed at all? Teeth grit, she's on edge now, irritation flaring. How dare he.

And then he says it - stabs her right through the chest with his words, hits her where it hurts. "A son? Hah - do you know, I haven't once looked at someone that way since I left you? Never got that family I always wanted, because I couldn't damn well stop thinking of you!" she snaps. It doesn't register he thought his child dead - doesn't matter she left him, no, she's upset that he's managed to have the one thing she's always wanted. Kits.

Self-righteous are they both in their misery. He turns to leave, and she only continues to follow, angry - hurt. She has no right to be, but her emotions have never been all that rational. "So is it your turn to run then? To hide?" Eyes narrow, spine straightening and shoulders set. She damn near well expects this to come to blows - and if it does, she'd deserve it, she thinks. But she's not going to run from this anymore.

HOUNDTHISTLE · Jun 16, 2023

"BECAUSE COWBOY DAN'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE COWBOY SCENE"

"Don' put that on me! You turned yer back on any chance of us havin' a family! Ya can' be mad when I have a son when you left me!" He snaps back, turning on her quickly, eyes blazing. She can scream anything at him, could call him any name in the book, but he'd never take that blame. "I wanted kits wit' you! I wanted a daughter! Her name woulda been Peony, but you chose them over that dream, now you can rot wit' the rest of yer kittypet mongrels in those woods!" He snarled, each word punctuated as he made his way closer to her, towering over her until his nose was inches from her's, eyes narrowed angrily. His breaths were harsh in his chest, near wheezes from the days he'd spent locked up in that healing den, surrounded by overwhelming herbs and now all he can smell is her and he's dizzy with the anger, the betrayal, the grief, everything.

He snorts at her question, claws slipping from his nail beds as he growled lowly to her, "Why should I tell ya? So ya can hold that over my head too?" He doesn't move though, breaths huffs from his nose that billow against delicate curls along her cheek, his mismatched eyes flicking to try and see anything in those pale yellow eyes, anything to show that anything may have actually been the truth.

"speech"

OOC CURRENT STATS INTERACTION RULES

text
Physical Health

68%
⤷ left eye is blinded, deep bite wound and claw marks in chest, stomach, face, and shoulders. Currently offscreen healing thanks to Wolfsong and Vulturemask
Mental Health

98%
Single | Bicurious | Not actively looking | Interested in Wolfsong, Scorchstreak, Sootspritespark

Houndthistle is both an easy one to gain the trust of and impossible to gain the trust of. He'll rarely reveal personal information or be vulnerable-if he's even capable of such things-but he will show trust in his willingness to lay his life down. To gain it, he needs evidence that you're loyal and strong, same as him, otherwise he understands he may one day have to come head to head with you.

— will start fights / will not flee / will not show mercy
— excels at Fighting, Tracking, Following Orders, Intimidation
— poor at climbing, swimming, stealth, talking, strategy, politics
— sounds like: deep, gravelled and thick with a sort of country accent / Arthur Morgan
— smells of iron, leather, and wood
— speech is #435E75

✧ Sootspritespark. · Jun 16, 2023

He turns back to her in righteous fury, and she can feel the adrenaline rushing, blood pumping - a heavy thump thump thump that nearly drowns everything else out in it's thunderous roar. They stand there for a moment, chest to chest and face to face, anger rolling off them in waves, and - oh, how had she forgotten how tall he was? Yellow eyes flicker and blink for a moment, tears rolling down her cheeks, head tipped back awkwardly, but sootspritespark refuses to back down. Not when it comes to this.

"... I know," she breathes, and the admission stings worse than any wound. If they'd had a family, if they'd had kits - they'd have been beautiful. But she'd done this, ruined it, stolen away her own chance. "I wouldn't - I won't," she says gently, as though she is speaking to someone who is fragile, as though he is something that might break. Maybe he is - or, maybe she is. She certainly feels like something is different - has shifted, has shattered, all the anger draining from her face. Oh. she thinks, eyes softening. Perhaps something had broken after all. Head bows, coming to press against his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," she repeats, an endless litany of apologies falling from her lips.

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private BLACK HONEY - Sootsprite

HOUNDTHISTLE

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✧ Sootspritespark.

02/23/23-06/08/24

HOUNDTHISTLE

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✧ Sootspritespark.

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HOUNDTHISTLE

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✧ Sootspritespark.

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HOUNDTHISTLE

JUST LET IT DIE

✧ Sootspritespark.

02/23/23-06/08/24