camp BREATHLESS SUSPENSE ☀ STARGAZING

[Sunflowermask]

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YOU ARE THE DAYLIGHT

Sunflowerpaw's been looking to the stars a lot more since their brother's death. Vulturemask always spoke of them so highly... Is he up there now, they wonder, waiting for them? They know he'd wait. Did he see his friend, the one that waited for him? They don't know.

They try to find solace in it, to find joy, the way he did, but death is not a joyous thing. The stars Vulturemask worshiped did not save him... Did he even want them to? Or was he just waiting until the day he could join them, the day he could leave Sunflowerpaw and their siblings behind? Just the thought constricts their chest, makes it hard to breathe. No, he wouldn't leave them, not on purpose. They can't believe it, it hurts too much.

Sunflowerpaw does not want to resent StarClan for taking their brother. Instead, they sit in the still of the camp and gaze up at the sky, searching the stars as if looking for answers. They've been doing that more and more often, lately.

YOU ARE THE NIGHT
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.°☀ info ; visual

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• SUNFLOWERPAW named by their half-brother vulturemask after his friend and mentor.
  — they/them, 7 moons.
  — windclan apprentice, mentored by wolfsong.
  — reserved yet loyal, distrusts most. rarely speaks.
  
  primary character, high activity. penned by saturnid.​
• "SPEECH"
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• 

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[heathermoon !!]

Gentle steps pass Sunflowerpaw quietly, the scent of mole on his maw. It was hard not to notice the other cat's distance, more so than usual, from the Clan. The loss of Vulturemask, so sudden, so surprising, had made its ripples through the Clan. There was no loss like family, though. Heatherpaw knew. Though his mother grieved and pained at the loss of her mate, it would always be different from the grief of losing a father. If he had any littermates, the same would go for sure. Sharing blood in an undeniable unity bound by birth, to lose that was like losing a part of one's self.

Heatherpaw was careful not to sit too close next to Sunflowerpaw, not wanting to invade, but be present. For a while he didn't know what to say. He didn't know Vulturemask all that well outside of being a healer, and a warrior before that. He only knew it must have hurt that he was with the stars. He wondered what lesson StarClan intended this to be for the other cat. Was this their first experience with grief, loss? If not, what would they do differently now?

"It doesn't go away, but you learn to get used to it." The only thing he could think to say. Advice. Experience. "It feels really lonely sometimes... you can forget that you're allowed to still be here, even if they're not. Some days you don't even think about it, because the absence has become so normal, and other days you're stuck in your nest making wishes you know won't come true. It's unkind, unforgiving, sometimes beastly. But... then you remember you're not alone again. That you still have air in your lungs and prey in your belly, and it makes it not feel so scary."

Heatherpaw fell silent again, looking up at the stars with them.​

WINDCLAN APPRENTICE ✦ RED MACKEREL TABBY ✦ 8 MOONS ✦ TAGS​

 

[SCORCHSTORM]

TAGS — Scorchkit's views of Vulturemask are largely inherited; she is her mother's daughter, and her mother had never liked the late medicine cat. She still doesn't know exactly why, but she'd been instructed to stay away from him as much as possible-- and she'd obeyed, the loyal pup she is. It's why she is caught between her empathy and her will to dismiss Sunflowerpaw's grief. How could any cat grieve one as disliked as Vulturemask? Sure, he had been important for storing their herbs and treating their wounded, but Wolfsong would be just as good. Better, even-- the one-eyed tom had loyalty and dedication and, perhaps most importantly for a medicine cat, warmth the likes Vulturemask never could have imagined. At least, this is what Scorchkit has been led to believe.

And yet, she can understand at least an inkling of Sunflowerpaw's grief. With WindClan's recent losses at the paws of other clans, she has frequently pondered what life might be like should Scorchstreak or Badgermoon not return from a battle completely whole. The thought terrifies her: her parents are undoubtedly some of WindClan's strongest warriors, both on Sootstar's council. The idea that they could fall to any clan or threat is one that bodes ill not only for her family but also for her home. Is that why Sunflowerpaw is so upset? It's a chilling thought that Vulturemask could be killed by the claws of an ex-WindClanner-- but then, they were exiled for good reason, it seems.

Scorchkit does not obviously join the apprentices in their stargazing or their conversation. Rather, she sits a short distance away from them, a single creamsicle ear flicking as she eavesdrops. Her bicolor gaze is on the stars while she considers Heatherpaw's advice (and thanks StarClan it isn't applicable to her). Ultimately, she decides that this activity is just the right amount of quiet and introspective, so she sticks around-- though she has nothing to say, maybe her presence can help Sunflowerpaw somehow.​

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[RATTLEHEART]

Loss was an odd beast. Although Rattleheart had never lost one of his siblings, he had ended up losing a family member in the form of Dappledsun. He was sure there would many that would say he shouldn't mourn for his oldest nephew, Scorchstreak included. They labeled him as a traitor and waste of his mother's teachings, and in some ways the tunneler could see why they thought that. Yet still, he often found himself wishing that Dappledsun was still around, and that he hadn't lost a part of his family so viciously and suddenly. His own grief had been much less pronounced than Sunflowerpaw's - shoved to the side and compartmentalized because he felt it needed to be - but it had still existed. Still occasionally gripped and wormed beneath his pelt, leaving him breathless and loathe to do anything at all.

And that was from a loss that had happened moons ago at this point. Vulturemask's death, meanwhile, was still fresh and new in everyone's minds, having come so suddenly and with such a vicious attack that not even Sunstride had been able to stop it. Sunflowerpaw had to be in agony, and Rattleheart was sure no one could blame them for the distance they had been showing lately. If he lost Scorchstreak or Lizardbounce, he was sure he would find himself hidden away in the corner of camp, unable to figure out what to do with himself. Just the thought of it was enough to make his stomach twist, a frenzied voice in his head raising. Stop. Don't think about it. Stop that! It succeeded in getting him to shove the hypothetical down, head shaking as he approached Sunflowerpaw and the companions that they had attracted.

Even with his own losses, Rattle found himself in a similar position to Scorchkit. What was he supposed to say in order to soothe Sunflowerpaw's pain? There was nothing short and sweet that could wash away the loss of a sibling, and the monochrome tom had a feeling empty platitudes would do nothing but make things worse. So instead he just settled nearby, head tilting back so that he could take in the stars hanging in the sky far above all of them. For Sunflowerpaw's sake, he hoped that Vulturemask was up there, watching over them and guiding their paws.
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[ PENNED BY EO ]​

 

[SUNNVAR]

Sunstride knew grief in the grandest of strokes. Though he could not claim the death of a brother at his back, loss was as familiar to the warrior as air itself. WindClan has lost their fair share of warriors, and he– well, though the tom still breathed some great distance beyond these borders, he had lost his father as well. Perhaps they were not wholly comparable. Instead, he knew just enough to feel his empathy grow and swell. Despite his lack of love for Vulturemask, the apprentices tied to him had done no wrong. WindClan was well enough with them in it; he would not begrudge them their brother's reticence. His presence here is awkward and uncomfortable. Unwelcome, he knows, but Sunflowerpaw should not be alone with their grief. The others here sit in silence, and so the warrior will join them.

He does not weigh upon Heatherpaw's words. Anything he could offer would do nothing but cheapen them. Any comfort he offered would be little more than a poor distraction. All he can give is his presence and his open heart, written in the lax posture and heavy eyes. It is the closest he has found himself to Rattleheart and Scorchkit in some time, settled at the edges of this gathering and thinking of all that they had lost. But then it comes to all that they had gained, all that they might have before them. Though this wound would not heal, he can only hope that Sunflowerpaw would grow around it. Is that not all that any of them may do?

＞ˏˋ〘  OOC NOTES REFERENCE 05.28.2023 〙ˊˎ＜

• ooc: —

• 

• SUNSTRIDE. named for his coloration and his bold chasing of fate.
  —— cis male, he - him. approx. 40 moons old. lead warrior of windclan + former rogue.
  —— gay, but somewhat closeted. will not be open about his interests. single, will be so.
  —— seems comparatively stranger than who he was some moons ago, serious and cool.
  
  sunstride is broad and bold– a creature standing above most of windclan, though not a beast beyond its borders, with fur that flames red and deepens to a burnt amber with every whorl and stripe. his eyes, in comparison, are a pale summer's blue, still as bold as the rest of him.

• "speech"

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[Bluepool]

"SPEECH"
It could not be said that Bluepool was among the mourners who lamented the loss of their medicine cat. In her opinion, he was a blight upon WindClan. The few cats who cared for him were fools in her opinion. How could they not have seen this coming? He had been bound to upset the wrong cat eventually with that foul mouth of his. Still, she is not a monster. Seeing his kin pining for him does tug at her heart strings a little bit.

She knows that, like Sunstride her presence might be stifling with its awkwardness but still she joins anyways. For once, she says nothing, just comes to stand next to her fellow lead warrior with her head tipped upwards, golden eyes searching the sky above. The stars wink as if they know they are being watched. She has yet to lose a sibling, though loss is not unfamiliar to her. Still, she cannot imagine what she would do if one day Sootstar or Mintshade was lost to her completely. Probably tear the earth asunder in order to search for whatever or whoever had killed them and exact revenge. They were all she had right now, afterall.

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