sensitive topics broken road °✩ Howlingstar

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ Roeflame had graciously offered to watch her kits again this morning. She wanted to feel guilty each time one of her clanmate's volunteered to watch her kits, but she hadn't felt much of anything here lately. Just yesterday, Squirrelkit had begged her to come outside so she could show her the new stalking skills one of the apprentice's had taught her, but she couldn't make herself leave the den. She saw their father in all of them...she saw their father every time she left the nursery. He was everywhere. She could see him laying in their favorite sunning spot beside the Warrior's den, with his paw on her belly feeling their kits move and kick. She could see him sitting in the center of the camp, assigning daily patrols. She could see him checking on her every day, asking about the kits...asking about what names they would choose.

Worst of all, she could see him laying in the center of the camp, blood staining his throat...his eyes glazed over.

Claws shot into the soft dirt below her, anchoring her to the center of the camp where his vigil had been had. A clanmate asked her if she was alright, but she couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything besides the last words he ever spoke to her. I'll be right back. If the kits start coming, send someone to fetch me. Her lip quivered, and eventually she was able to tear her gaze from the bare spot on the ground.

She wanted to pull her fur out...she wanted to scream, to cry...to curse the stars. Her claws begged for blood, for vengeance. She wanted to kill the rogue that had taken the love of her life, the stone of stability, the father of their kits. Her heart was pounding, and her legs were trembling. There was no way she could go back into the nursery like this, and she refused to leave the camp. Their kits already would already never know their father, she wouldn't let them lose their mother too. Instead, she found herself walking towards Howlingstar's den. The brown tabby should be in there, she was supposed to be resting.

The deputy asked for permission, before slowly padding into the den. Her legs had quit trembling, but she still appeared quite frazzled. What was once a beautiful, vibrant red pelt was dull and clearly un-groomed. She looked like a shell of what was once Howlingstar's fiery deputy.

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@HOWLINGSTAR

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I WOKE UP IN TEARS ⋅✩⋅ WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE ──┐‎

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• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 31 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ formerly mated to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowkit, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar's healing is coming along well, she's heard from Gentlestorm. Even after everything, her wounds are repairing themselves, and soon she should be back to performing her duties like nothing had happened. She's anxious for that day - being stuck in this den is hardly entertaining, so she's been welcoming every guest that finds her. Tonight, that is Flamewhisker.

She stares at her deputy for a moment as she stands in the entrance of her den, pelt matted and eyes glazed over. Immediately, the tabby sits up, a hard frown on her muzzle. "Flamewhisker. What's the matter?" Of course she knows. Flycatcher's death hasn't been easy on anyone in the clan, but especially not Flamewhisker. The deputy stands in her mate's old paw prints, raising their kits alone. She unfortunately knows somewhat how she feels.

She straightens herself and sits up fully on her haunches, inviting the she-cat closer with a beckoning of her nose. "Talk to me. What's on your mind?" Even if she can just...listen, she hopes it helps. She can't imagine the pain the she-cat is feeling right now. ​

 

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ Snow dipped paws hesitate after she was invited closer. Hollow eyes lower to her paws, before eventually joining her leader inside the den. She sat down about a tail length from Howlingstar, keeping her gaze fixed on the floor. Her posture was heavy, her head drooping forward. Her shoulders slumped, and her ears pinned flatly against her skull. "How...how did you do it?" she asked quietly, risking a glance in the other mother's direction. She had never met Howlingstar's mate, or heard of any stories of him from the leader's children. Their leader had always been so strong, so level headed...it was hard to imagine Howlingstar ever experiencing the pain that was now crushing her. "I don't know how to keep going...without him. I don't know how to raise our kits without their father."

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I WOKE UP IN TEARS ⋅✩⋅ WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 32 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ widowed mate to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowkit, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar watches her deputy closely as she comes closer to sit down. Her ears are trained forward, worry evident on her face as the queen finally manages to croak out words. How did I do it? And somehow, Howlingstar knows just what she means. Her expression melts into one of sympathy and pity, her heart swelling in grief, for she knows there is nothing she can say to take away the other's pain. What she can do is be there for her, though. She can talk to her. She can tell her she's not alone.

"I didn't know how to go on, either," She admits softly, getting to her paws to pad a little closer. She sits down slowly, eyes trained on the other's paws, and slides her own paw closer. An invitation for touch, if anything. "Gray Wolf...he was the love of my life. I would never find another mate, not for as long as I live. I was pregnant with Raccoonstripe, Jackdawflight, and Graystorm at the time. I never even got the chance to tell him I was expecting. But I always knew he was with me. Watching over me...all of us. Flycatcher is doing the same, Flamewhisker. He is with you always." She grows more serious as she looks up to try to meet her gaze. "The day will come when you will bear my name, and you will stand on the Highrock. I can guarantee you...he will be there to greet you the moment you touch your nose to the Moonstone. I know it." ​

 

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊As Howlingstar slides her paw towards her own, Flamewhisker blinks away a tear, causing it to land between their paws. Howlingstar begins to share her mate's story, and as she speaks, Flamewhisker finds her eyes rounding in sympathy. Howlingstar hadn't even gotten to tell Gray Wolf that they were expecting again...at least Flycatcher knew she told herself. So Raccoonstripe, Jackdawflight, and Graystorm never got to meet their father either... Jackdawflight and Graystorm have, but her councilmate had not. She hadn't realized that about him, and the thought caused a lump of grief to swell in her throat. "I'm so sorry." she breathed, blinking away another stray tear.

Flycatcher is doing the same, Flamewhisker. He is with you always.

The leader's words caused her lip to quiver, but she bit it back, not wanting to completely break down in front of Howlingstar. Flamewhisker takes in a deep breath, then holds the tabby's gaze. A quick flash of shock replaced the grief, but she blinked it away. "As much as I would love to see him again, I hope that won't come any time soon." she responded, leaning towards Howlingstar to touch her nose to the other's shoulder affectionately. "I hope...I hope he's found Lilykit and Butterflykit." Her lip quivered again as she mentioned their stillborn kits. She had often wondered if they had made it to Starclan, even though they had never taken a breath.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I WOKE UP IN TEARS ⋅✩⋅ WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 32 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ widowed mate to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowkit, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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