private built this town on shaky ground

[RAVENSONG]

The young cat lay with his head down in his paws in front of the medicine den. The process of grief came to him in waves. It reminded him of how thunderstorms could stop and start up again so suddenly. This was a moment where he felt almost perfectly at peace. Maybe, he wondered, for a healthy mind, some sort of blank thought was needed to process trauma. For three moons he had been taught to heal the body, but there was no way to heal a heart or head.

Ravenpaw lifted his chin up when another cat passed by, crossing over his line of sight to disappear into another den. But he had only imagined it, following the phantom image of a cat that had not existed. Unaware that his mind had conjured up this image, Ravenpaw sighed dejectedly, thinking he had been overlooked again. He did want to be alone, but at the same time he selfishly desired company. His life was at a pause. He couldn't move on until he let go of Beesong.

He decided to seek out the last older role model he had, even if he had been mean to her as a kit.

"Hazecloud?" He asked softly once he had located the warrior. "Will you come with me to get some herbs? am afraid to go out on my own..." An accident... that was all it was. Gloompaw and then Beesong.

@hazecloud

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[hazecloud]

The loss of Beesong had sent ripples of unease throughout the entire Clan. They were well respected in all regards, learning the path of medicine. Acting as a single liaison between StarClan and the living world. Hazecloud had found them admirable, but understood there wasn't quite a relationship like one between a mentor and an apprentice. Ravenpaw had lost his, but this was not a simple case of reassignment. He couldn't just be sent to another warrior to continue what had been left. This was something far less... repairable.

Hazecloud had been idly chatting with one of the queens about something inconsequential, utter gossip, when she heard Ravenpaw call for her. She politely departed from the queen before closing some of the distance between them. When he explained his need, the silky-furred cat felt her heart ache.

"I'll go wherever you need me." It was a promise, one she intended to keep as long as he needed. Whatever callous behavior he had toward her as a kit was not something she judged him by. She hadn't been the best child either, and she didn't have the loss of both her parents to explain it with. No, she had seen Ravenpaw grow up into the young man he was now, and all she could feel was pride.

"I'm not due for any patrols today. Where are we headed then?" She hadn't collected herbs before, she wondered if it was any similar to hunting.​

 

[RAVENSONG]

A few times since the discovery had Ravenpaw allowed himself to smile. This was one of those moments. He looked up into Hazecloud's eyes gratefully. Being a cat of little words, his thanks was often expressed in non-verbal mannerisms. The path before him was uncertain. Ravenpaw could clearly remember his appointment to medicine cat apprentice, how he was determined to succeed the expectations of the Clan, who had been so shocked at the revelation. No sign from StarClan to show him that it was right. Ravenpaw had resolved to make it right.

Now, he could barely put a paw forward.

"Riverside. Many herbs grow alongside the river." Left unspoken of course, was the reality that more and more cats were returning from patrols injured from some sort of skrimish with WindClan or ThunderClan.

He walked alongside Hazecloud as they made their way through the territory. "Look for marigold, a little flowering plant. I am told it is yellow, but I cannot discern colors well." He explained. His paws sunk into the mud-rich riverside.

"Hazecloud... do you think that I am strange that I have not gone to get my name yet?" He asked suddenly.

// they wont find any marigold as per my herb roll rip lol

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[hazecloud]

A small nod of understanding, and the pair were off. She glanced one last time at the entrance of the olive sedge before ducking out between the reeds. With how frequently Ravenpaw was going in and out of camp for herbs, she felt concerned for some of her friends still in nests from recovery. StarClan had not been on their side against ThunderClan. At the very least her Clanmates had endured little injury from WindClan, but now that they were becoming more bold, crossing borders just to poach their lone warriors.

She sighed tiredly at the thought. The reminder.

"Yellow? It'll definitely stand out if there's any." Hazecloud carefully placed her paws on the more sturdier stretches of mud, careful not to sink in and get too dirty. She pushed her snout through a patch of cattails, but nothing from Ravenpaw's description caught her eye.

"Hmm, your name?" She sounded a distant, distracted from her search. She pulled back to look at Ravenpaw. "I can understand why, I think." She began, plucking the bits of stray grass off her fur. "If I was only allowed to be trained by a single cat in the whole Clan, and I lost them... I don't think I would be running to the Moonstone for a name. It wouldn't feel the same... I would go until I felt I was ready, more deserving."

Hazecloud sighed as another patch showed nothing but plain grass and weeds. "I hope whoever does have you believing you're strange isn't another medicine cat. You're allowed to handle Beesong's death however it helps." If only because I can actually fight another warrior. She doesn't say that, though. It wouldn't be right to assume poorly of the other healers. ​

 

[RAVENSONG]

Usually there was a patch or so around here, but Ravenpaw could not pick up on anything. Marigold had a certain scent to it and it was badly needed if they kept up with their war-mongering ways. He knew Cicadastar and the warriors did not think too much of it—they were not the cats in charge of the herb stores. Ravenpaw had lot a lot of the plant with their recent WindClan tirade. His pelt prickled unhappily. As a warrior apprentice he had hated WindClan, but as a medicine cat apprentice, he wished his Clan would stop picking fights with them.

"Maybe a horde of ThunderClan cats smashed it." Ravenpaw growled to himself, looking up and over at Sunningrocks, which used to be their territory. His thin, bony shoulders shrugged and he reluctantly pulled himself forward to keep up with Hazecloud.

"It was not supposed to happen so early." Ravenpaw whispered, ears flattening. That much was obvious. Despite his name, Ravenpaw was fully grown and nearly fifteen months old. It would be strange for such an old cat to still keep an apprentice name. "Nobody had said anything to me directly, but I imagine everyone is expecting me to." He admitted.

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[hazecloud]

Hazecloud shared Ravenpaw's frustration with a low mumbled swear in agreement. It was barren, and seeing his worry grew on her. If he was looking for more of it, than it was certainly important. Struggling to find enough... what would that mean for them? She wondered if he would share if he asked, but she figured she might sleep better simply not knowing all the details.

Maybe she could keep an eye out of him on the next few patrols she went across...

"Ah, I see." The silent assumptions. "I always wondered- does StarClan give you your name? Or is that up to your predecessor? If that's the case... does another Clan's medicine give that to you?" Her questioned piled, as much as she was interested, she didn't expect Ravenpaw to provide her all the answers. Quite frankly, she didn't really understand what was and wasn't allowed to be shared between the life of a medicine cat and a warrior. It was still all so new to her, even though the years birth of the Clans were coming.

"Would you want to pick your own?"​

 

[RAVENSONG]

It was good that Hazecloud was here with him. Being frustrated alone was a recipe for disaster. In the presence of someone who knew him since he was a kit and still his senior, Ravenpaw was less inclined to lash out as he would have when there were no ears to hear it. The feeling mounted, came to its tipping point, and Ravenpaw exhaled slowly.

He did not want to give up entirely, however, so with a lash of his tail, the dark-furred cat continued on his way in search of the precious herb. One ear aligned back out of politeness for his companion, to listen to what she had to say. The question made his heart come to a standstill within his ribcage.

"I do not know. Beesong was supposed to name me." He rasped. "I suppose I should find out at the next medicine cat gathering." He had never seen a medicine cat apprentice graduate without any anguish. Boneripple's very presence in RiverClan meant that ShadowClan's now medicine cat, Starlingheart, had been forced to grow up quickly. Ravenpaw was not young, but he was not the ideal age for a fully trained medicine cat.

"I should like to." After all, if there was nobody to give it to him, he would much rather take it. No other cat had been given that right.

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