private BURY A FRIEND | dimmingsun

[slateheart]

// taking place on the walk home from this thread


Slateheart feels painful regret with each step he takes towards WindClan's camp. He moves alongside Dimmingsun with breaths coming out unstable and panicked. All he can think about - is the look on Scorchstreak's face, that powerful warrior, when they break the news that Bluepool had died, and they couldn't save her.

Bluepool had died, and Slateheart did nothing. He still.. can't believe it.

Was she right to question his honor? He had not helped her, for he had been spiteful then, angry with her for her tactic used to deploy him into RiverClan. Angry that, after all RiverClan had done for them, she was willing to ruin it all for prey that could have been obtained elsewhere. That she had lied to them - no, to him. Slateheart's eyes trail to Dimmingsun for a moment, clouded with a large mix of emotion - with realization. They were both lead warriors; and he was more than eager to go with her plan. It all just seemed to make sense.

In a swift, abrupt movement, Slateheart bounds a few steps forward and digs his heels into the sand, coming to a halt right in Dimmingsun's path. He stares at the golden warrior with a look bewildered and wild with a newfound paranoia. His friend, his best friend even.. he looks different now, after what Slateheart had just witnessed. Suddenly, all the plush softness and beauty he saw in Dimmingsun seems to have taken a new form. Slateheart sees now the sharpness of his features, the curl of his lips, the broadness of his shoulders. He sees not his friend, but a brute - it reminds him of how he saw Sunstar when the leader fought Snakehiss with such a ferocity and bitterness that he never thought possible from such a noble, respectable tom.

It's like his eyes had truly opened for the first time, like he had cracked the code to some elaborate scheme.

"You -" he begins. He bites his lip briefly, then curls it - in a fast movement, Slateheart lurches forward and raises a paw to shove Dimmingsun backwards by the shoulder. "Were you in on this?" He raises his voice in accusation, willing the tears in the corners of his eyes to evaporate. "Did you know Bluepool was going to bring us there? Did you think you would string me along as some foolish pawn and I would just be - just okay with it? Did you think we would get away unscathed?"

It made more sense to Slateheart to turn his anger towards Dimmingsun now. Much as it pained him to feel manipulated by a cat so dear to him, it was easier to believe that he was tricked, that he had no true involvement in this invasion, than to accept that he had moved of his own accord to save his image as a loyal WindClanner. It made him feel better about Bluepool's death knowing that it was brought upon herself by her and Dimmingsun both, and that Slateheart.. he had told them so.

"I told you," Slateheart spits. "I told you both - this was an awful idea. It wasn't right. I.. I told you.." But, as much as he can try, he cannot erase himself from blame. His tears beg to flow freely and Slateheart lets them. In a last attempt to tunnel his grief into anger, he digs his claws out and prepares to swipe - but instead, his paw falls to the ground in a defeated stomp. "Stars, Dimmingsun -" he begins again, through gritted teeth and fearful eyes. "We didn't save her.. we're no better than murderers.. Sunstar's going to kill us - if Scorchstreak doesn't get to us first." He closes his eyes tight, imagining once more the scene that awaits them when they get home. "I.. I can't.. with this blood on my paws.."

​

CHARACTER INFORMATION — ♡ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ♡ — OUT OF CHARACTER

• 

  slate slatepaw slatetooth SLATEHEART
  ━━ MOOR-RUNNER WARRIOR of WINDCLAN
  ━━ 23 MOONS,, ages every 6th
  ━━ LYNXTOOTH xx ADELAIDE xx SILVERFOOT
  ━━ SIBLING to GRAVELSNAP and ASHPAW
  ━━ MATE to none | PARENT to none
  ━━ MENTOR to BEEPAW | MENTORED by LYNXTOOTH​
  ━━ HEALTH ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♡ | generally healthy, but experiencing shortness of breath.
  
• 
  
  
• speech is #bbbb88​

 

[dimmingsun]

He does not see the world around him as he walks. This does not feel like returning home, but rather forcing himself in for a trial, for everybody to cast their judgmental eyes on him and eventually decide his fate. They're all in the right, of course; he might as well have been the one to push Bluepool over the edge with the amount of guilt sitting in his heart.

Dimmingsun only sees Slateheart when his friend pushes him back; Dimmingsun lets himself be moved, stumbling with the utmost lack of grace, and stares at the wrath within those green eyes.

I do deserve this, he decides. There were three of them, and now two; and with that, WindClan lost one of its longest-standing members.

It's not fair, but Dimmingsun does not immediately find his voice. He has to let Slateheart continue his ramble. Breaths and words are stuck in his throat as if he had swallowed something the wrong way, unable to get out and threatening to turn into a choke hazard.

But he owes Slateheart something.

"She-" A pause. A tight swallow. Try again. "She said we will follow Sunstar's orders. RiverClan has enough prey. They can afford to get something taken from them." He recites the words —slow and broken up and not like his own voice — as he heard them, more or less, and he still believes it's a sound idea. Both him and Bluepool just wanted the best for WindClan.

Look where good intentions got them.

Slateheart continues, and Dimmingsun has to shut his eyes to lessen the pain- to no avail, of course, but the desperate pleas call for a physical reaction. An awful idea it was, but nothing had suggested it would turn out this way. If only they had been caught before reaching the gorge... a fight on land would not have dipped into disaster.

If only. If only. If only.

And despite everything... Dimmingsun feels his heart get lighter. It's not out of relief; Slateheart's words simply make him want to comfort his friend. It would be no issue any other day. Would Slateheart be receptive to soothing attempts now? "Your paws don't have blood on them." Dimmingsun takes a tentative step forward, somewhere between a pair of black-and-white paws, to prove a point. "You said it yourself. You didn't want to come, you tried to warn us, you were dragged along. None of this is your fault."
​

 

[slateheart]

Sunstar's orders. Slateheart closes his eyes tight. "No.. stealing isn't.. isn't Sunstar." His implications are clear - stealing and dishonor was a thing of the past, under Sootstar. The recognition of such gives way to a thought so sinister and cold.. that perhaps that is why Bluepool would do such a thing.

Unless the cat he had looked up to for so long would condone it. "Do you really think Sunstar approved this?" The tom's voice lowers, as if he is no longer questioning Dimmingsun but is now thinking out loud; challenging himself and his own beliefs. He willed for Bluepool to simply have misinterpreted Sunstar's meanings. He hoped.. that his leader wouldn't stoop so low, so early after his triumph against those same, brutish behaviors he feels.

Slateheart imagines the fury that must take place upon the return of RiverClan's patrol. Would they rejoice in the death of the WindClanner? Would they call for further justice? He imagines sleek pelts streaming into their camp like a broken dam, taking vengeance for the advantage WindClan has taken. Their claws rip through the WindClanners, spitting their scorn and hatred for a Clan that cannot recover and cannot be better than its' predecessor. Somewhere in the fray, he sees a brown-pelted molly with a soft, blue gaze turned hard in the face of a high betrayal..

Slateheart's eyes open again, sorrowful and cold. "Why RiverClan? Why not.. beyond the Horseplace, where there are no patrols? Why do we have to shed blood so soon?" They had only just began their recovery from Sootstar when the fire destroyed their territory. And now, scarcely rebuilding from soot and ash, their progress has been interrupted again.

For his words and challenges against Dimmingsun, Slateheart braces for claws to meet his cheek. Any other WindClanner would - it is why he had fell quiet for so many moons. But instead, Dimmingsun's paws meet his, placed in the empty spot between. After moments of a silent understanding, soaking in all of Slateheart's grievances, he speaks.

Dimmingsun agrees with everything Slateheart had pleaded; he told them so. He was right, and he can return guilt-free, and it would all fall on Dimmingsun again. It should make him feel better, to be reaffirmed by his friend.. but it doesn't. It doesn't feel good to know that he was right, like he expected by passing his blame. Why?..

Green eyes fall to the pair of paws close to his. He is reminded of his foolish venture into the fires, delusioned by the need for his recently-refound mother. Just like now, Dimmingsun sacrificed his own well-being to pick up Slateheart's pieces. "I don't feel good," he chokes out. "I wish I could go back. I wish this didn't happen."

When did this train of events begin? Did it begin this morning, when he left his nest at the same time Bluepool was gathering a patrol? Or was his fate set in stone, so far back, when he had met Troutsnout? If he had not befriended the RiverClan warrior, would he have been so apprehensive towards fighting for prey? Would he have had the strength to save Bluepool had he not felt so much resentment at the fact that he was betraying the cat who saved him?

​

CHARACTER INFORMATION — ♡ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ♡ — OUT OF CHARACTER

• 

  slate slatepaw slatetooth SLATEHEART
  ━━ MOOR-RUNNER WARRIOR of WINDCLAN
  ━━ 23 MOONS,, ages every 6th
  ━━ LYNXTOOTH xx ADELAIDE xx SILVERFOOT
  ━━ SIBLING to GRAVELSNAP and ASHPAW
  ━━ MATE to none | PARENT to none
  ━━ MENTOR to BEEPAW | MENTORED by LYNXTOOTH​
  ━━ HEALTH ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♡ | generally healthy, but experiencing shortness of breath.
  
• 
  
  
• speech is #bbbb88​