- Feb 18, 2023
- 381
- 55
- 28
.anger makes you stupid —————————
————————— stupid gets you killed.
THE LARGE TOM STOOD, HEAD TUCKED close to his chest, absently watching the thawing river with narrowed copper-molten hues. His ears rest on top of his helm, twitching with life, listening to the sounds of the pines that bled into the night. The pines encompassed him like a warm blanket on a chilly night, relishing in the feeling of home, but not quite. He doubted SkyClan would ever be home. Not for a while, at least. It was far better than the place he came from, Youkai was certain of that.
He sighed. His heart tightened painfully within its bone cage, thrumming against his sternum, reminding him he was alive and they were not. He burrowed into himself, relishing in the cold that seeped into his bones, ignoring how they twinge with the pain of old breaks that throbbed, reminding Youkai of the things he no longer missed.
He felt dead. Youkai snorted, glancing up at the pine needles that rustled above him. His darkened lips curled into a bitter grin. He sure as hell felt like a corpse, decaying until he became one with the thawing ground timing with mushrooms and various plants that would spring from the depths of his withered bones, flourishing with nutrients. The cycle of life. He was nothing more than an insignificant ant waiting for the shoe to drop, until then the obsidian-hued male would wait.
His bones groaned in discomfort, drawing an annoyed sigh past his parted maw. The brute shuffled to his paws with a grimace, ignoring the way his body pulsed in tandem with his heart. Damn bones. He huffed. Perhaps, he shouldn’t have stayed by the thawing river that split the two territories, but the thought of being cramped inside left his skin crawling with nerves.
He was thankful for the clan letting him in, but despite being made a warrior he still couldn’t get used to the plentiful cats that mingled about within the camp’s walls. It made his skin crawl with anticipation, waiting for something to happen.
A low-gruntled rumble vibrated deep within his chest as the obsidian-hued male shuffled along, dodging loose twigs and wiggling through the undergrowth, ignoring the way his fur snagged. The male simply pulled, ignoring the sparks of pain as fur ripped out from his flesh. It’d grow back.
His copper-molted hues narrowed, nose scrunching up, resulting in his crow’s feet becoming more clear than ever against the black-and-white fur that resembled obsidian coal and freshly fallen snow. The brute stared at the moon, tail billowing behind him as it swept across the ground.
He plopped on the ground, tail curling loosely around his enormous paws, ears twitching in tandem with his slow movements to get comfortable within the shred of darkness with dots of moonlight shining through the pine needles.
He was close to the twolegs nest that dotted the landscape with freshly painted fences and mouth-watering meals that wafted through the air from chimneys and open windows.
His stomach rumbled, reminding the male it required substance, but he made no move to return to camp to see if there was any fresh kill he could eat. Even so, the brute would hunt before returning at dawn, attempting to hunt for two rather than hunt solely for himself. He wasn’t that cruel to hunt only for him when he had others counting on him, especially those expecting or taking care of kits.
His gaze flickered to stare at the nests with a heavy heart. His copper-colored hues narrowed at the flood of memories that resurfaced, reminding him he too had once lived with twolegs, but it was short-lived. He made no remark of his own misfortunes, opting to shove those memories to the back of his mind to continue to collect cobwebs. He had no intentions of reliving anything from his past, the very thing that left him terrified to close his eyes.
He sighed, tucking his paws beneath him until he appeared loaf-like. The male tucked his nose underneath his willowy tail, relishing in the familiar oakmoss scent. His copper-molted hues watched from afar, letting his nightmare unfold from behind his hues. His chest constricted with each breath. The very nightmare that left him tittering on the edge of reality with a choked-off scream that settled heavily on his tongue, having swallowed it down in fear of startling those within his vicinity ( he hadn’t strayed too far from camp, until he’d woken up, deciding to head to the river to calm down ).
The way his breath remained ragged in tandem with his heating heart that threatened to rip from its chest cavity until he stumbled close to the river bed, almost falling into the cold water if it wasn’t for his brain catching up to him. Damnit. He should have been paying more attention. His nose wrinkled at the thought of being so far out of it he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, even then, he wasn’t aware of where he was going until he almost stumbled into the cold, unwelcoming waters.
He blinked several times in a rapid session, bringing himself out of his thoughts to stare at the white picket fences that ran up and down the landscape. He wanted to laugh; the notion bubbling up within his throat knowing damn well he shouldn’t have gone to sleep. He knew better. He knew what was waiting for him behind the curtain the second he succumbed to the darkness. The very thing that felt like home, turned monstrous and wicked the second he closed his eyes.
A nightmare. He snorted. More like a damn memory. He let out a low-guttural noise that rumbled in the back of his throat, shaking his head with an annoyed puff of air that slipped past his parted maw. It serves you right. He thought darkly. He deserved it. He wasn’t a fool to believe it’ll go away the longer he ignored it. One day it’ll catch up to him, but for now, Youkai had no intentions of reliving it tonight. His tail rolled in agitation, tickling his medium-grey nose that scrunched up at the odd sensation. Youkai grumbled, moving his tail away from his nose to tuck beneath his paws.
His frame seemed to sink further into the ground, tiredness creeping into his aching bones that spread like wildfire. He was so damn tired, but the thought alone sent him reeling in discomfort. Sure as hell wasn’t sleeping. Not after that.
He shuffled into a sitting position to stare up at the moon’s rays that spilled from the canopy of trees, reminding him of freckles. The reminder sent a pang of sorrow through his heart, helm lowered to stare at the ground with furrowed brows. He bit back an annoyed growl that would have spilled from his lips, sitting heavily on his tongue instead.
He hated this. He wondered if he should ask for something to knock him out. Perhaps, then he’ll get decent sleep without the nightmares ( memories ) that haunted him like the plague.
His muzzle tilted, relishing in the crisp air that threaded through his fur. He welcomed the chill with open paws, relishing in the way gooseflesh appeared across his skin.
Oh, how he wished things were different, but Youkai had no control over it. He sure as hell didn’t have control then, so what made him think he had control now? He snorted, shaking his helm with a pitiful grin. The male was far more expressive than usual, but he was alone with his thoughts. He didn’t need to worry about keeping a front. It was another reason he didn’t sleep in the warrior’s den.
His frame tensed at the rancid smell of dog that filtered along his tastebuds despite being surrounded by the aromatic scent of earth and pine. His frame tensed at the familiar smell he grew to hate with his entire being. The male whipped around to stare into the forest to see nothing. His brows furrowed in confusion, copper-molted hues narrowing. Oh. He reached out to press a paw against his throbbing eyes that begged for sleep.
It was the same nightmare that woke him up with a choked-off scream. The very one rearing its ugly head, reminding Youkai of what transpired within his own head. The familiar sensation of blood-soaked flesh to the harrowing cries of others echoed loudly in his ears. He coughed, claws sinking into the flesh of his forehead. Just a damn nightmare. It’s not real Youkai. Get your shit together. You're a warrior, now.
Youkai huffed out a broken mewl, shuffling until he lay hunched over himself. His hues screwed shut at the explosion of sound that echoed loudly. His chest constricted with each ragged breath, willing everything to the back of his mind to collect cobwebs. He sure as well wasn’t going to handle it now, much less ever. He was tired. So damn tired of the reminders that everything went to shit the second he allowed himself to be happy.
No wonder his mother named him Youkai. He huffed out a bitter laugh that spilled from his darkened lips, shoulders shaking in tandem. Damn, he needed sleep.
thoughts speech
He sighed. His heart tightened painfully within its bone cage, thrumming against his sternum, reminding him he was alive and they were not. He burrowed into himself, relishing in the cold that seeped into his bones, ignoring how they twinge with the pain of old breaks that throbbed, reminding Youkai of the things he no longer missed.
He felt dead. Youkai snorted, glancing up at the pine needles that rustled above him. His darkened lips curled into a bitter grin. He sure as hell felt like a corpse, decaying until he became one with the thawing ground timing with mushrooms and various plants that would spring from the depths of his withered bones, flourishing with nutrients. The cycle of life. He was nothing more than an insignificant ant waiting for the shoe to drop, until then the obsidian-hued male would wait.
His bones groaned in discomfort, drawing an annoyed sigh past his parted maw. The brute shuffled to his paws with a grimace, ignoring the way his body pulsed in tandem with his heart. Damn bones. He huffed. Perhaps, he shouldn’t have stayed by the thawing river that split the two territories, but the thought of being cramped inside left his skin crawling with nerves.
He was thankful for the clan letting him in, but despite being made a warrior he still couldn’t get used to the plentiful cats that mingled about within the camp’s walls. It made his skin crawl with anticipation, waiting for something to happen.
A low-gruntled rumble vibrated deep within his chest as the obsidian-hued male shuffled along, dodging loose twigs and wiggling through the undergrowth, ignoring the way his fur snagged. The male simply pulled, ignoring the sparks of pain as fur ripped out from his flesh. It’d grow back.
His copper-molted hues narrowed, nose scrunching up, resulting in his crow’s feet becoming more clear than ever against the black-and-white fur that resembled obsidian coal and freshly fallen snow. The brute stared at the moon, tail billowing behind him as it swept across the ground.
He plopped on the ground, tail curling loosely around his enormous paws, ears twitching in tandem with his slow movements to get comfortable within the shred of darkness with dots of moonlight shining through the pine needles.
He was close to the twolegs nest that dotted the landscape with freshly painted fences and mouth-watering meals that wafted through the air from chimneys and open windows.
His stomach rumbled, reminding the male it required substance, but he made no move to return to camp to see if there was any fresh kill he could eat. Even so, the brute would hunt before returning at dawn, attempting to hunt for two rather than hunt solely for himself. He wasn’t that cruel to hunt only for him when he had others counting on him, especially those expecting or taking care of kits.
His gaze flickered to stare at the nests with a heavy heart. His copper-colored hues narrowed at the flood of memories that resurfaced, reminding him he too had once lived with twolegs, but it was short-lived. He made no remark of his own misfortunes, opting to shove those memories to the back of his mind to continue to collect cobwebs. He had no intentions of reliving anything from his past, the very thing that left him terrified to close his eyes.
He sighed, tucking his paws beneath him until he appeared loaf-like. The male tucked his nose underneath his willowy tail, relishing in the familiar oakmoss scent. His copper-molted hues watched from afar, letting his nightmare unfold from behind his hues. His chest constricted with each breath. The very nightmare that left him tittering on the edge of reality with a choked-off scream that settled heavily on his tongue, having swallowed it down in fear of startling those within his vicinity ( he hadn’t strayed too far from camp, until he’d woken up, deciding to head to the river to calm down ).
The way his breath remained ragged in tandem with his heating heart that threatened to rip from its chest cavity until he stumbled close to the river bed, almost falling into the cold water if it wasn’t for his brain catching up to him. Damnit. He should have been paying more attention. His nose wrinkled at the thought of being so far out of it he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, even then, he wasn’t aware of where he was going until he almost stumbled into the cold, unwelcoming waters.
He blinked several times in a rapid session, bringing himself out of his thoughts to stare at the white picket fences that ran up and down the landscape. He wanted to laugh; the notion bubbling up within his throat knowing damn well he shouldn’t have gone to sleep. He knew better. He knew what was waiting for him behind the curtain the second he succumbed to the darkness. The very thing that felt like home, turned monstrous and wicked the second he closed his eyes.
A nightmare. He snorted. More like a damn memory. He let out a low-guttural noise that rumbled in the back of his throat, shaking his head with an annoyed puff of air that slipped past his parted maw. It serves you right. He thought darkly. He deserved it. He wasn’t a fool to believe it’ll go away the longer he ignored it. One day it’ll catch up to him, but for now, Youkai had no intentions of reliving it tonight. His tail rolled in agitation, tickling his medium-grey nose that scrunched up at the odd sensation. Youkai grumbled, moving his tail away from his nose to tuck beneath his paws.
His frame seemed to sink further into the ground, tiredness creeping into his aching bones that spread like wildfire. He was so damn tired, but the thought alone sent him reeling in discomfort. Sure as hell wasn’t sleeping. Not after that.
He shuffled into a sitting position to stare up at the moon’s rays that spilled from the canopy of trees, reminding him of freckles. The reminder sent a pang of sorrow through his heart, helm lowered to stare at the ground with furrowed brows. He bit back an annoyed growl that would have spilled from his lips, sitting heavily on his tongue instead.
He hated this. He wondered if he should ask for something to knock him out. Perhaps, then he’ll get decent sleep without the nightmares ( memories ) that haunted him like the plague.
His muzzle tilted, relishing in the crisp air that threaded through his fur. He welcomed the chill with open paws, relishing in the way gooseflesh appeared across his skin.
Oh, how he wished things were different, but Youkai had no control over it. He sure as hell didn’t have control then, so what made him think he had control now? He snorted, shaking his helm with a pitiful grin. The male was far more expressive than usual, but he was alone with his thoughts. He didn’t need to worry about keeping a front. It was another reason he didn’t sleep in the warrior’s den.
His frame tensed at the rancid smell of dog that filtered along his tastebuds despite being surrounded by the aromatic scent of earth and pine. His frame tensed at the familiar smell he grew to hate with his entire being. The male whipped around to stare into the forest to see nothing. His brows furrowed in confusion, copper-molted hues narrowing. Oh. He reached out to press a paw against his throbbing eyes that begged for sleep.
It was the same nightmare that woke him up with a choked-off scream. The very one rearing its ugly head, reminding Youkai of what transpired within his own head. The familiar sensation of blood-soaked flesh to the harrowing cries of others echoed loudly in his ears. He coughed, claws sinking into the flesh of his forehead. Just a damn nightmare. It’s not real Youkai. Get your shit together. You're a warrior, now.
Youkai huffed out a broken mewl, shuffling until he lay hunched over himself. His hues screwed shut at the explosion of sound that echoed loudly. His chest constricted with each ragged breath, willing everything to the back of his mind to collect cobwebs. He sure as well wasn’t going to handle it now, much less ever. He was tired. So damn tired of the reminders that everything went to shit the second he allowed himself to be happy.
No wonder his mother named him Youkai. He huffed out a bitter laugh that spilled from his darkened lips, shoulders shaking in tandem. Damn, he needed sleep.
thoughts speech
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