She is joined by her clanmates, one by one. Badgermoon offers a paw of comfort, asks if she wants to talk about him. She is hesitant at first, but the emotions and tears are bursting at the seams and she indulges, just a little.
"He....He didn't deserve to die." She managed. "He...Was my friend." One of few, now even fewer.
Crushed beneath the earth, slowly suffocating. Why did he have to die in such a cruel way? It wasn't fair at all, and she had half a mind to curse the stars for their cruelty.
Firefang approaches, much to her surprise. She expects something cruel, a jeer. But that's not what happens. Instead, she tries to comfort her, too. Sure, it was a little questionable if what was said could be comforting, but...There wasn't really much to be said, was there? Azaleapaw still awaits a cruel remark of some sort. Surely it's coming, Firefang wouldn't just talk to her without one, right? But it doesn't seem to come, and she doesn't know what to think.
Cats were being nice to her.
Scorchstreak is more realistic about what likely happened and it does indeed make her feel worse. She shifts her paws to her face, covering it as if she didn't want to see what her minds eye conjured from her words.
"It's not fair."
Shadowpaw speaks for her, saying what she normally would have said. She preferred Firefangs words over Scorchstreaks. Tunnelers were at risk of the worst kind of death, and even more frighteningly, sometimes no one would ever know if you were crushed. It almost seemed cruel to have the rank at all, but with so many winding tunnels beneath them, it was necessary to have someone keeping them safe.
And then, Marmotpaw squeezes beside her. She is stunned for a moment. The only cats she had ever pressed against were Periwinklepaw, Dazzlepaw, and Wolfsong. And now Marmotpaw added herself to the mix. She found herself feeling something in her heart that she didn't understand. She didn't know what words to describe it with, but it wasn't....Bad.
To even greater surprise, Mintshade comes to loom over her, her paws planted on each side of her. She isn't sure what she expects to hear from her mentor. Sometimes she doesn't even believe she's Sootstar's sister. They were so different. Mintshade offers words of encouragement, and she can't help but feel something stir inside.
Mintshade was right. She had to become a warrior, for Dazzlepaw and herself. To lay here moping and weeping was going to get nothing done. She had to carry his memory. Keep going forward.
But the situation she was in currently still shocked her. So many cats had gathered to offer comfort, cats she never even expected to do so. It was enough to make her wonder if she had been wrong this whole time. Had she just been being a brat, did these cats actually care about her? The turmoil and the flood of emotion almost drowned out her grief. Or perhaps they worked together to break her apart.
"I....I-I will. I'll become a warrior..... F-for us both. I'll make sure his memory doesn't die."
Because that would add insult to injury. To die beneath the earth, never to be seen again and with no grave to mark your passing.... Bones to be found by someone later on wondering who they had stumbled upon.... No. She would not let that happen.
