private carousel - spiderlily

[vixencrown]

it felt so real.

she'd wake up, her blue gaze glancing around the nursery. she felt cold, only her sister sleeping beside her. "dad?" she called, sniffing the cold empty nest. spiderlily couldn't be found.

shed move outside of the den, the light of the day shining brightly and the warm air was confusing. the den was cold- she was cold. the warmth didn't reach her, yet there was no frost and the leaves were back. greenery was all over again. "dad, where are you?" shed call, looking around at the groups of cats.

she became more frantic, sniffing the ground, and feeling like she was searching all over camp. "daddy? father?" neither of them could be found. and she was left with a pit in her stomach.

"where are you?"

a hard swallow came from the kitten, her eyes burning as she walked into the elders den- the warriors den, everywhere.

and they could not be found. she felt alone. something told her they were gone, a whisper in her ear that scared her. they couldn't be gone! she fell asleep beside her father! they wouldn't leave her! would they?

-

she woke up in tears, crying out for her father only to find the other beside her. "I thought you were gone. you weren't there and and-" she sputtered out, whether spiderlily was awake or not. she'd shove her shaky form into her father form, sobs wracking her body. "daddy nor you were there. I thought you left me and softkit all alone," she whimpered.


@SPIDERLILY


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[SPIDERLILY]

to be reborn , you have to die first .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Spiderlily fell into a light doze, plagued by nightmares that had certainly lost a good few clumps of fur in a pitiful act of snapping himself into reality. It seemed his kits were no exception, nearly ripping his helm from its socket at the choked cry, pinkish hues zeroing in on the tiny crystallized droplets sliding down his daughter’s cheek did he surged into action. With a rumble, deep and guttural sounding, purring. His sandpaper tongue rasped over her form, offering a comforting pressure.

“It’s alright, my dear.” He breathed tiredly, pressing a wet nose into her fur. “Your dad and I won’t ever leave you. Not even death can tear us apart.” He soothed her sobbing form, humming softly. He had hoped, foolish sounding, to think that they would spare his kits from the darkness, to be plagued by nightmares and wake with welling tears as their dam, but it seemed his plea went unheard. “Do not cry, my dear.” He purred, reaching to brush a few stray tears with his paw, bushy tail coming to curl around her quivering form. “Your dreams do not deserve them.” ​

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thought speech​

 

[vixencrown]

her father burrowed a nose into her, curled around both her and softkit, and she didn't feel comfortable. her small form shook and her lips trembled as she pressed deeper into the other. not even death can tear us apart. she didn't quite understand the depths of death. when something died, it was gone for forever. but lost things can be found again. right? so that's what he meant. they'll find each other no matter what.

and that in itself comforted her. as well as the tongue rasping over her head, and the familiar scent- she would take a breath, and nod. she couldn't help the trembling in her small form, but she would heed his words. "why are there bad dreams?"



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[SPIDERLILY]

to be reborn , you have to die first .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He hummed, long and soothing, nearly a rugged lullaby if Spiderlily had any talent, as he soothed her trembling form with gentle rasps of his tongue. “Oh, my dear—” He murmured, pausing his gentle rasping to settle further into the nest that smelled of them, comforting against the low thrum of his heart beating within its bony prison. “Our minds can be our worst enemies, playing our fears and insecurities during the night, alerting us of things, but do not fret my child, for you will never know loss, Whitelion and I will always be with you and so will your sister.” He rumbled, low and sweet.

Death was unforgiving, but so was Spiderlily, fighting with bared teeth and bloodied claws if he must. The ghostly tom would keep his promise, losing once was heartbreaking, guilt-ridden, and gloomy, but this was his rebirth and Spiderlily would fight for it. ​

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thought speech​

 

[vixencrown]

They'll always be with her, and she couldn't help but be comforted by that alone. With a small nod, she'd nuzzle deeper into her father. Sure, there was still a pit deep in her stomach.

"It is scary if I lost any of you," she mumbled softly, draping a small head over one of her fathers paws, trying to curl closer to the toms warm chest. Spotted body twitched a bit, trying hard to drift back to sleep but eyes snapping back open.

"When I become a leader one day, imma work hard for it papa, I'm going to make sure no one loses anyone. We're gonna be safe, and well fed. And Im gonna scare the rogues so far away theyll never bother anyone again." She rumbled, voice filled with quiet confidence.

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