camp carry on // return to warriors den

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
Excitement was swiftly replaced with frustration as he found himself unable to find peace near the usual meeting spot along ShadowClan's border. Ultimately the risk of being caught by ShadowClan was too much (considering the strong scent of numerous individuals near the border) so Sunnyday turned his focus to that of some night hunting. It honestly gave him time to think and to process all that had occurred over the past few moons. He had been delivered advice from multiple individuals by this point, rode out panic attacks in private, and had come to accept that he would never have his former life back. With his rendezvous with Sabletuft now out of reach he found himself being bitterly reminded just how lonely he truly was, and just how much the ShadowClanner had become a lifeline for him. He truly did miss having others around him and he craved to be near others again.

It wasn't an easy decision for him but he guessed that it was time to heed Blizzard Fang's advice, regardless of how much it caused his anxiety to flare. It was the night of the gathering so he decided to seize advantage of the quieter camp. With a freshly caught vole in his jaws he approached the camp and slipped in through the entrance with his head bowed low. The tom actively avoided making eye contact with a single other soul as he crossed the clearing in order to deposit the catch on the pile before he bee-lined for the warriors den. By the time he entered the den all he could hear was the thunderous roar of his blood coursing through his ears as his heart raced in his chest.

Sunnyday didn't bother looking in the direction of his former nest as he instead selected a space right at the edge of the collection of nests. There was no bedding but he didn't care, that could be sorted later if the chance presented itself. The tom curled himself up tightly with his back facing the rest of the den, treating it like his shield against any stares or questions that were potentially sent his way.

//Takes place at the same time as the gathering.​

 

[Sunfreckle]

He has been sleeping in the mouth of the nursery, just out enough his head can settle beneath the stars while still remaining in his nest that is just at the entrance to the side to avoid blocking anyone from coming and going though right now it is only him and Wrenflutter. Sunfreckle gives a tired sigh, he's had no motivation to even so much as get up and roam the camp and it had nothing to do with his injuries from before that were neatly mended and mostly gone at his point; no, he felt himself slipping down into a spiral of worry and sorrow so heavy it was a wonder he even lifted his head in the mornings to greet the day anymore. It was hard to place exactly what this feeling was, why it drug him down so aggressively. Maybe it was just his mind preparing him for the inevitable that was to come when he kitted, he could only speculate and it did nothing for his mood.
Sunfreckle's gaze shifted to the side as he noted a golden form creeping forward from the bramble border, a familiar figure he'd not seen since the incident that sent the tom scurrying from the camp; he wondered why the sudden change of heart. Was he willing to try now? It was a passing thought he didn't dwell on very intently, recalling how he'd followed Sunnyday out of the warrior's den demanding her try harder and stop running. Maybe someone else had gotten through to him, maybe he'd decided on his own.
Who was to say.
The mouse an apprentice had left him was still next to his nest untouched, he'd had no appetite to eat it nor motivation to pick it up and take it back to the freshkill pile because he didn't want to be called out for not eating, but the sight of the food made him nauseas all the same. Maybe he could force himself up, push it on someone else...Sunnyday would be a good enough victim who wouldn't ask him questions.
The red tabby rises to stand, unsteady, unbalanced, longfur only barely hiding the fact he was much bigger around the midsection than he'd been moons before; he hated thinking about it and he nearly gagged on the mouse as he picked it up but over to the warrior's den he swept to poke his head in.
"...hey." His head tilts, he tosses the mouse forward, "...eat this for me."
​

 

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
Sunnyday's ears pricked up sharply as he heard someone approaching the warriors den, and from the unique gait he suspected that it was Sunfreckle. His jaw tensed as he waited for... well, anything nasty, he supposed. Another trial to endure with head down in silence. Something thudded onto the ground near him and it caused him to visibly flinch. "...eat this for me", the words confuse him and it prompts him to unwind from the tight curl that he had been in. A mouse.

What was wrong with it? Why would it be given to him? The questions and paranoia swirled through his mind but he didn't openly say anything as he crept over to the mouse on his belly. He pulled it closer so he could eat it. "Thank you..." Nothing tasted out of sort so he guessed it was fine and that his paranoia had been misplaced. Once it was finished, much to the protest of his own stomach, he finally chanced looking up at Sunfreckle from where he was crouched low. Something seemed... off. Had they gotten rounder? He supposed that explained the scent of the nursery on him so he decided not to bother inquiring about the matter, he'd rather ask about other things.

"So... what have I missed?" He suspected that he had missed much, except for a few snippets of information that he had overheard from passing patrols. However he did know about the boars in the forest, it was hard to miss the beasts.​

 

[Flycatcher]

It was something of a surprise to see Sunnyday approaching the warrior's den. Since the incident with Sandpaw the sandy coloured tom had largely stayed away from the warrior's den and from camp for that matter. Flycatcher could not say whether it was the guilt over what had happened or a fear his clanmates might chew his ears off even further if he stayed there. He watches as Sunfreckle approaches first and offers him a mouse. It seems like a nice enough gesture so Flycatcher has no reason to suspect there is anything behind it.

"Sunnyday it is good to see you back in camp where you belong," Flycatcher mewed as he approached the two toms. "It is hard to appoint you daily tasks when you're hiding outside of camp." When Sunnydays asks what he has missed, Flycatcher studies him carefully for a moment. "How much do you know about what's happened recently?" Flycatcher countered, wanting to know what Sunnyday knew so that he could fill in the gaps.​

 

[tansyshine]

Eyes trail upon Sunfreckle's figure as she lays in her nest, head resting on her paws as Crystalkit sleeps soundly. His snores bring her comfort, lets her know that he's alive, but she shifts in her nest and looks away for one second to survey the walls. When she looks back, Sunfreckle is gone, disappearing out of the mouth of the nursery and in to camp.

Borne of worry and curiosity, she untangles herself from her son. She gives him one last rasp over his forehead, her eyes softening before she slips out right after him. They whisk themselves to the warriors den, where Flycatcher also stays, and she follows. She peaks over them and Sunnyday lays without a nest, eating the mouse that Sunfreckle had given him. She tilts her head at Sunfreckle in a silent question, shifting her weight awkwardly as they talk. She had just wanted to make sure Sunfreckle was okay, she has no business here, but they chatter, and she naturally eavesdrops. Oh, but she does not mean to.

Sunnyday asks about the recent happenings. She does not offer any words of encouragement other than a warm blink at Sunnyday, not knowing what to do, what to say. She does not know what happened to the large tom, opting to hide in the nursery as she mourned the loss of her children, but she keeps her face neutral. "Do you want... moss..? For a nest. I have plenty." she speaks, head tilting once more as she flits her gaze between the three cats before her.​

"speech"​

 

[Rabbitnose]

The gathering was the perfect opportunity for him to try and catch up on much needed sleep. He had been running himself absolutely ragged between worrying about Sunfreckle and training with Patchpaw, who could only leave the camp with him. It was beginning to wear on him, but he had to keep going. If anyone needed him right now, they would have to find someone else. Rabbitnose was curled tightly in his nest, woefully by himself as Sunfreckle stayed in the nursery.

He found it easy to drift into slumber, but it seemed easier still that he was stirred. He hears voices outside, hears someone enter. He lifts his head to see Sunnyday making his way to the edge of where most nests lay.

"Hello, Sunnyday." He greets the tom tiredly.

He looks back to see Sunfreckle giving Sunnyday his mouse and he frowns slightly. "Not hungry again...?" He asks his mate, his stomach twisting in worry.

Sunnyday asks what's been happening, and he has to agree with Flycatcher... What all does he know? He looks back to Sunnyday for his answer.​

 

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
When more cats approached Sunnyday made the blatant point of flattening himself down as far as he could with his gaze lowered as to avoid making any eye contact with them. Submission was the best course of action, even if things seemed calm for the time being. He just wanted to avoid turning the situation sour again like the last time he had dared to come into the camp. When asked what he knew already he could merely offer a shrug. "I figured that we must be having trouble with boars. I've seen a few in the territory. Beyond that... not much, not since I left the camp." He was behind on the recent deaths, he had no idea what had occurred. Though he was aware of Shallowpaw's uncle being on their territory, and that ShadowClan weren't in their usual place.

"Thank you for the offer Tansyshine, but I will collect bedding in the morning. Any spare moss you have should go to more deserving nests." Such as a the nursery or elders den. He just didn't feel comfortable accepting such kindly offers, not yet anyway. A single ear twitched when he overheard Rabbitnose addressing Sunfreckle. Had they been off their food? Was that why he had been given food?​

 

[Flycatcher]

When Sunnyday responds, he reveals that he already knows of the boars. Apparently, he had seen some whilst living outside of camp which isn't much of a stretch in Flycatcher's opinion. At least that saved him from having to explain that problem. "Yes, you are right about the boars," Flycatcher confirmed. "One of them tragically killed Graystorm so I am reminding all patrols to be cautious if they see any and to not engage them." The last thing they needed was any more injuries or deaths.

After a moment, Flycatcher noted that there were a few other things Sunnyday did not know about. By the way he kept looking at Sunfreckle, he obviously did not know about the lead warrior's pregnancy. Flycatcher decided that it was better if Sunfreckle or Rabbitnose shared that information rather than him. "There is also something else you should know," Flycatcher mewed, once Sunnyday had dismissed Tansyshine's offer of help. "I know you were quite close and protective of Ragwortpaw and her littermates. This isn't easy to say but Ragwortpaw walks with StarClan now too. Little Wolf found her body on the thunderpath a few days ago."​

 

[Sunnyday]

☀ - WHILST MY HEART STILL BEATS
"Graystorm is dead?!" The tom's head snapped up in an instant and he looked at the deputy with grief in his eyes. He hadn't been close with the tom but he couldn't picture the clan without the fellow's presence. No doubt Howlingstar and her kin were feeling pained over such a loss, and he truly did feel for them. Maybe it was a good thing that he had abandoned his temporary den out in the wood, otherwise he too might have fallen victim to the beasts eventually. "I'm sorry to hear that, he was a good warrior."

Sunnyday might have managed to keep himself composed at that point, but nothing could have prepared him for the next piece of news. Ragwortpaw walks with StarClan now too. His heart shattered with a frosty chill that coursed through his body, and his blue eyed gaze became one of raw shock. Desperately he searched Flycatcher's features for any sign that he might be lying. He prayed that he was lying! But no, it was the harsh truth. His chest grew tight and his jaw hung open as he struggled to compose a single string of words.

Memories of the little kit that he had helped to guide back to ThunderClan played over and over again in his mind. Memories of a promise to a mother that her children would be safer in ThunderClan. That promise had been broken, built upon pillars of false hope. "No... no... not Ragwort..." It was all too much and he visibly began to sway as he was cast into a spiralling dizziness. On unsteady paws he shifted himself round until he was able to press against the den's wall for support and he practically clung to it for dear life. It proved difficult to focus on a single emotion as they all spiralled wildly within him, each one wearing him down further and threatening to make him lose the mouse in his stomach.

"Wh-why was she on the thunderpath? Why would her mentor allow her near it?" The tom's voice was low and near quiet with grief and confusion. He didn't understand but he wanted answers, and as he looked back up at Flycatcher the desperation for logical reasoning shone in his eyes. There had to be more to it.

"Salamander... I'm so sorry! I failed... I failed your children!"​