private CHOKING ON A BAD SEED ✧ addervenom

[BLUEFROST]

“You are different now.” Bluefrost gazes at her brother, a burlier, thicker-furred version of their father, meets the flame of his copper gaze. She sees him as he is now—hollowed, burnt, incinerated, drifts of soot. The fire of their mother’s reign had consumed them both and left nothing but dust in its wake. She is fortunate—as is Addervenom—that it had not burned them alive, as it had their littermate Harrierstripe.

The gray she-cat sits beside her tabby brother, the two of them quiet sentinels guarding camp. The sky has silver spilled across it, and though she searches for her parents’ star, she finds herself lost in the blaze.

“You were his apprentice.” Sunstar. She still feels aimless when she thinks of the burly golden warrior who now sits on her mother’s throne. “What do you think of him so far?” She has not had the opportunity to discuss this with anyone else—and she knows Addervenom will tell his truth.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 14 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
  — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a.
  — windclan warrior. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  lh blue and white she-cat with emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.
  
  

​

 

[Addervenom]

Different she said. Perhaps that was putting it lightly. To be honest it felt like an understatement. He felt like a ghost of his former self, an empty shell that once held something promising. He was aimless as the days grew long, thoughts of the future remaining untended as he simply went day by day. Hunt, patrol, perhaps eat, and sleep only to do it all over again the next day. There was no excitement to his regime, only a dull sense of obligated duty. "Different," He echoes, the word bitter on his tongue. It was a testament to just how much he'd changed. He sensed it, knew it. But did nothing to fix it all the same. Tired eyes narrow to some degree, squinting against the stars that loomed above them.

Amongst their living siblings Bluefrost remained the most comfortable to be around. He felt like she understood him most, their silent understanding of one another a valuable crutch as he waded through turbulent, destructive thoughts. Despite whatever sharp quips may come he knew he could be raw with her. No carefully positioned words, no restraint, just himself. "I am...lost, Bluefrost." He murmured, struggling with coming to terms with the words leaving his own mouth. "I feel like part of me died alongside moth..Sootstar." The musculature of his jaw ripples as he briefly clenched his teeth. "And the nightmares...they never stop. They stare, disappointed, angry." Every time was just as unbearable as the last.

A breath of reprieve offers itself in the form of another question and he tears his attention from the stars to focus on his sister. Sunstar. His brows pinch thoughtfully. Truthfully no matter how abysmal Sootstar's actions were it felt wrong to see another cat upon her throne. If anyone it should have been their father. Maybe even Sootspot. But fate did not deem it to be so. "He is a fair leader with a good head on his shoulders." He began slowly, casting his gaze out to the open field. "But part of me does not want him sitting nor sleeping where she once did. Windclan belonged to us first...it was our birthright to command it next." He muttered in the stillness of the night. His tone lacking its usual bite. ​

»»———- windclan warrior / sixteen moons old / he/him ———-««​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Addervenom repeats her: “Different.” The word is spoken sourly, as though he does not relish its taste on his tongue. Bluefrost nears him, sitting to one side of him. They’d never been affectionate toward one another as littermates, but there’s something unbreakable between them, something that defies WindClan and it’s changed climate, something that defies even Sootstar herself. Like her brother, she feels closest to Addervenom in these shifting hours. Cottonpaw had redeemed herself, but the two of them had stood beside their mother until her final hour.

“I feel like part of me died alongside Moth… Sootstar.” Even alive, they’d rarely called her Mother—she had demanded her kits use her name, her title gifted to her by StarClan themselves before she’d slipped into uncertain madness. “I feel the same way,” she confesses, unable to meet her brother’s flame-colored eyes. “I have the same nightmares… and even when I wake, scared out of my mind, the first thought I have is that I miss her. I miss her, Addervenom.”

This is almost sacrilege to say to almost any other cat, but the thorn-sharp words leave her tongue unscraped with her littermate. She knows he is the same. They are kindred spirits, broken by their shattered loyalties, left to drift, aimless, in a world they did not recognize any longer.

When Addervenom speaks of Sunstar, Bluefrost nods, understanding. “Things are… different, now. When Periwinklebreeze brought those kits home, I remember thinking… Sootstar would have handled it so differently.” Almost without thinking, her gaze lingers on the notch in her brother’s ear. Sootstar had certainly handled that differently than she imagines Sunstar would have.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 14 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
  — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a.
  — windclan warrior. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  lh blue and white she-cat with emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.
  
  

​

 

[Addervenom]

There is some semblance of comfort in the way she moves to sit closer to him. Although not touching it was reassuring nonetheless. Hooded eyes return to the silver flecked sky, a single tufted ear tipped the molly's way. He listens as she reveals that she too receives horrific nightmares. Grotesque in nature only to awaken mortified. Even now he could see Harrierstripe's once healthy frame tattered and torn asunder. He could hear his brother shouting, blaming him for his death. Closing amber eyes a steady sigh billowed from his pale nostrils. Like his sister, despite the fear he still missed Harrierstripe, he still missed Sootstar and Weasleclaw. "I miss them too...all of them." If he had his way this wouldn't have been how things ended. Not when part of him deep down believed Sootstar still had a sliver of redemption left in her.

The word "different" rears its ugly head again in Bluefrost's speech and he finds himself cringing inwardly. Tossed to and fro against the waves of change, battered he still stands. "They are." He starts, allowing his voice to drift as she speaks of Periwinklebreeze and the new kits he cared for. A minor scoff, soft and airy escapes his maw. "Certainly." He didn't like the outcome of Sunstar's decision himself. "He's too soft sometimes." Or was he fashioned to mirror his maker? Moulded to be relentless just like their mother, like their father. The perfect soldiers.

Opening his eyes again he finds glacier green. "Do you still think of them sometimes? Granitepelt and the others?" Curiosity expressed towards their mother's loyalists would have him tossed into the very fires raging along their borders. But Bluefrost could be trusted. ​

»»———- windclan warrior / sixteen moons old / he/him ———-««​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Addervenom’s lids slip over burning flame-colored eyes, and Bluefrost sees remorse in their smoky depths. “I miss them too… all of them.” And she understands that he’s talking about their father, raving and mad and withered in the badger set; their brother, half-mad and grappling with his identity and his loyalty, teeth at Blazestar’s throat; their mother, pinned down like a rabid fox, sentenced to die by her former deputy’s bladed paw. She blinks away the sorrow that threatens to cloud her vision. “It hurts to know they would not miss us, too,” she murmurs. “She looked at me and told me I should be dead to my face. Father no doubt would feel the same. And Harrierstripe…” She bows her head for a moment, content to let her sentence drift away.

Addervenom has not changed that much, though, declaring Sunstar too soft. It’s a comfort. “Would you have let those kits stay? My opinion was not a popular one,” she says. It’s like their Clan has forgotten their roots entirely, and she does not know how—not when she’s still so entangled.

And then he mentions Granitepelt, and Bluefrost’s expression sharpens. “Yes. Not of Granitepelt, but of those who left.” Rumblerain, Thriftfeather, Peonybreeze, Ebonylight—all cats she had shared meals with, loyalties. She thinks especially of Thriftfeather, and she has to push the ache from her heart with force. “I still wonder if I should be out there with them, instead of in here. Every day, I wonder.”

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 14 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
  — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a.
  — windclan warrior. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  lh blue and white she-cat with emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.
  
  

​