pafp choking on flowers | gift

[tansyshine]

It's been a while since Sunfreckle had his kittens, and he was not the same. He stays in the nursery a lot now, or at least she had missed each time he left. She flicks an ear, ice gaze sliding to a fiery orange tucked carefully in to a nest. A frown pulls at her lips, what could she do? She rises to her paws, her son skipping behind her as she exited the nursery. She had an idea, had an idea for a while now, and she would make sure she'd execute it.

Tansy returns to the nursery without Crystalkit bouncing behind her, a mess of moss and feathers gripped tightly in a small bundle. She had carefully plucked most of them herself, making Crystal sit down and help her for a couple ones. A gift for Sunfreckle, she had said, and promised to let Crystal skip his nap time today if he helped. She makes her way over to stand just close enough to his nest that she could talk to him without intruding in his space, dropping the small bundle at her paws. "Sunfreckle, is this a good time?" she wouldn't blame him if it wasn't, she knows how he feels. Not fully, but the grief of losing kittens lingers forever. Tansy isn't sure if she'll ever get over her loss, she swears she sees little gray and white and cinnamon coats from out of the corner of her eyes. She wants him to know hes not alone.

If it is a good time, she'd go on. "I brought you fresh moss and feathers, if you want them." an unspoken question hangs on the tip of her tongue, she hesitates slightly. Are you okay, of course not. Because again, no one would be okay after that; yet it sounds like just a pleasantry to most but she does not want it to come across like one. She wants to help, see if there was anything she could do, really, whether it be a listening ear or just silent company. "How are you doing these days? You don't have to answer this, if you don't want to." agh, it sounds even worse! But it will have to suffice. She remains a way away unless beckoned closer.

// @Sunfreckle ​

"speech"​

 

[Sunfreckle]

His head raises up drowsily to footsteps and he finds himself briefly staring at cream paws perched nearby before lifting his gaze up to the cinnamon queen with the light blue eyes; it takes him a moment to orient himself enough to rouse fully and address her so he nods in confirmation to give himself a few extra moments. She is still speaking even as he focuses in more properly. Moss and feathers. Green eyes widen then blink as he regards the carefully presented gift next to him, the kits at his side only now stirring from their own slumber at his sudden sitting up; it was about time to wake them anyways.
"I...thank you, Tansyshine. This was sweet of you."
And a little embarrassing for him, he knew his nest looked bad; he had been in such a blur of despair and disinterest that cleaning it out and keeping it orderly had been the furthest thing from his mind. Rabbitnose had mentioned wanting to bring him new bedding but he'd grouchily dismissed his poor mate who had left him to his devices for the time being. Having it suddenly placed before him was strangely motivating and feathers as well that the kits could play with. A smile drifts lazily to Crystalkit behind her and he raises a leg to nudge neatly into the three at his side to encourage them to wake up a little quicker. The question, though asked as gently as possible, still has him stiffen in response. How was he? Terrible, miserable, exhausted, but...
"...better. I think. I feel somewhat better at least."
If he recalled correctly, Tansyshine had also lost some kits and he felt a small burn of shame go through him that she had to comfort him when she too had suffered. His tail flicked up and then slapped the ground hard, gesturing that she was allowed to sit. He didn't mind the company.
"I think about them a lot."
​

 

[Shinebug]

Sky-blue eyes had been stealing glances at Sunfreckle for some time now. Shinepaw remembered comforting (or at least attempting to comfort) the clanmate when the kits were still in his belly. Now they were out of his belly, but some seemed to be missing. When Shinepaw had asked some of the queens where the missing kits had gone, he’d been greeted with gazes at hot as boiling oil and chastising words as harsh as a whip. Angry orders to not bother Sunfreckle no matter what had practically been branded onto him. Clearly, it was a subject to be avoided.

Shinepaw would’ve done that anyway, though. After his impromptu diagnosis seemed to hurt Sunfreckle’s spirits more than help, the shaft of sunlight had kept his distance. Perhaps somewhere in his mind he knew he lacked both the age and maturity required to understand such a somber situation, but it was more likely the apprentice simply didn’t want to upset Sunfreckle more than he’d already had.

As Tansyshine approached, though, Shinepaw slowly stepped in behind her. The normally talkative tomcat kept his tongue in check as he witnessed the exchange, wide eyes flicking back and forth between the figures in the room. The air was thick with grief and loss, but both were odors the boy was incapable of smelling. After all, he’d experienced neither. So Shinepaw would simply sit in silence, tail thumping softly against the ground as he looked at Sunfreckle, a small smile on his face.​

 

[tansyshine]

"It's no fur off my back. If you ever need more, let me know." i'll be happy to do so, she gives him a smile. She flicks a cinnamon ear at the gentle paw-steps behind her, her head slightly turning to meet little Shinepaw behind her. She offers him a gentle smile as well, tilting her head and slightly patting the ground besides her. He is welcome to come forwards, but Sunfreckle talks once more and her attention leaves the little apprentice for now. Better. I think. She finally sits back with a small nod once he allows it. It's progress, even if it's just being somewhat better. Even feeling a little bit better, even if the grief lessens for just a moment, anything counts.

"I know. I understand, I do." she dips her head, looking away for a heartbeat. It breaks her heart to see him go through it, no cat should ever have to go through the loss of their kits. No mother, no father, no parent should have to bury their children. "It... Unfortunately never gets much easier." she hopes she does not dampen his spirits in the moment for good news shall be her next word of advice. "But one day you'll learn to cope with it, and with time it'll feel like you can breathe again." she was sure she would have died of a broken heart if it were not for Lily Pad and Wrenflutter, countless nights being spent awake and staring off in to the distance. "We're here for you. We all are." its spoken more gently: he did not have to grieve alone. "Would you like flowers when they get a little older?" lavender had been a star-sent blessing when she went through her own, a calming scent. Just say the word, she slightly tilts her head, hoping she has said the right things. She has never been quite good with comforting words, after all.​

"speech"​