- Sep 4, 2023
- 48
- 8
- 8
Things were too late and he knows that. There is no amount of apologizing he can do that will take things back. Even if he groveled and begged for Mottledove to take him back, which he didn't think of ever doing thank you very much, was not going to change anything. The facts were simple. Whatever he and Mottledove had was over. Once, some time now... They had been younger and in love. Even though he struggled towards the end, he couldn't deny that he loved her. With the hectic things that happened, he didn't get involved. However, he saw her and the kits (not theirs) go through it. For once in his life he was forced to think about what he had done because it was more bearable than watching so many cats die whether it be from illness or battle. Mottledove had been on his mind, haunting him. Not to mention her kits started to creep their way into his dreams. Aspenpaw who took after him, reminding him of what he gave up. Although, he couldn't feel love for them. He had been following her rules and kept his grimy little paws out of their lives as best as he could. If they had any conversation it would just be about patrols and other clan things, nothing personal. What was there to say?
Her kits were strangers to him. When he had a moment of peace it would be disrupted by her. Memories would flash. Ones where they muttered sweet nothings and slept curled against each other, tails entwined. Then, there were not so happy memories. Ones where they angered each other. No matter how much couples were in love there were bound to be disagreements. He couldn't tell you how many small disagreements they had compared to bigger ones. All he knew is that they were not just happy. There were times were he purposely wouldn't visit her out of spite. She wasn't allowed to venture too far from home and it bothered him. He wanted her to not necessarily run away with him because at the time his situation was not great. Maybe that was the first sign. Using that knowledge for his own benefit. She couldn't keep a close eye on him. Meaning, he was still free. He was free to get away with having some fun here and there without her knowing. It also meant she couldn't see him do questionable things. He had been part of group that took lives, he was no stranger to taking them. The scars he had back then were ugly truths that couldn't be hidden, ones that she refused to see.
Bobbie. The name of the she-cat who slapped him and outed his secret to everyone. Even though there were better ways to talk about what happened, he wasn't upset at her. It was clear that Bobbie was Mottledove's friend and he would respect that. As much as he wanted to pad over there and tell her off, he chose not to. This Bobbie was looking after Mottledove and that was enough for him. In any case, Bobbie was right. He should apologize. Even if it won't fix things, not like he was hoping it would. Mottledove was not the same she-cat he had once fallen in love with. Beautiful yes, but maybe she was far too good for someone like him the first place. It is... Difficult to speak to her alone and maybe the way he goes about it is wrong. Considering he stalked her for a bit, waiting for her to be alone.
When she is finally alone, he steps into the light. Of course she is startled, "Whoa, easy there." It looks as if she's a few seconds from bolting away from, which ouch, but fair. "I just wanna talk about things. What happened. That's it. If you're cool with it. If not I'll get out of your way." He waits and when it seems like she doesn't decide to turn away from him and bolt, he sighs in relief. Where do I even start though? Should've thought this through more. He brings a forepaw to his scrunched nose and exhales heavily. Stupid Stormy, that's the first thing we think about.
"I'll tell ya when I'm done, but if you got any questions for me in the end you can ask if you want," he begins. Once he's given a nod, that's when everything begins to spill out. "Pretty sure you wouldn't want me to talk about us and how I felt about you before I cheated and stuff, so I'll keep it brief. I did love you none of those moments were fake and even though I ran off with someone else I still loved you. Anyway, moving on. The reason why I left was because I wasn't ready to settle down. I could tell something was up or you were going to say stay with me and I couldn't uh, handle it. I didn't know you were pregnant or would've been, you know I just left without a word. Before I left, I met someone. She promised me that we would be together but we didn't have to be limited to each other. At the time it was a nice deal, so I took it and we were in a relationship. There were other's too, but she was the most important one from them. She gave me an out. I... I am a coward and I'm sure you realize that, so for me that was the best news in the world."
A lot had been omitted, but he didn't think she'd want to know. Considering she didn't want to see him and talking to him was also not desired. There was no need to add additional facts to confuse her or make it out to seem like he was a sob story begging to be forgiven. It was the one thing that he promised himself. He would tell her with absolute clarity what happened and he was sure he did. As much as he could without talking about his family life or the she-cat he cheated on her with. "Soooo, yeah. That's it?" Whether or not she wanted to ask more was up to her and he would tell her whatever she wanted to know. If she walked away from him, then that was fine too.
// @Mottledove.
Her kits were strangers to him. When he had a moment of peace it would be disrupted by her. Memories would flash. Ones where they muttered sweet nothings and slept curled against each other, tails entwined. Then, there were not so happy memories. Ones where they angered each other. No matter how much couples were in love there were bound to be disagreements. He couldn't tell you how many small disagreements they had compared to bigger ones. All he knew is that they were not just happy. There were times were he purposely wouldn't visit her out of spite. She wasn't allowed to venture too far from home and it bothered him. He wanted her to not necessarily run away with him because at the time his situation was not great. Maybe that was the first sign. Using that knowledge for his own benefit. She couldn't keep a close eye on him. Meaning, he was still free. He was free to get away with having some fun here and there without her knowing. It also meant she couldn't see him do questionable things. He had been part of group that took lives, he was no stranger to taking them. The scars he had back then were ugly truths that couldn't be hidden, ones that she refused to see.
Bobbie. The name of the she-cat who slapped him and outed his secret to everyone. Even though there were better ways to talk about what happened, he wasn't upset at her. It was clear that Bobbie was Mottledove's friend and he would respect that. As much as he wanted to pad over there and tell her off, he chose not to. This Bobbie was looking after Mottledove and that was enough for him. In any case, Bobbie was right. He should apologize. Even if it won't fix things, not like he was hoping it would. Mottledove was not the same she-cat he had once fallen in love with. Beautiful yes, but maybe she was far too good for someone like him the first place. It is... Difficult to speak to her alone and maybe the way he goes about it is wrong. Considering he stalked her for a bit, waiting for her to be alone.
When she is finally alone, he steps into the light. Of course she is startled, "Whoa, easy there." It looks as if she's a few seconds from bolting away from, which ouch, but fair. "I just wanna talk about things. What happened. That's it. If you're cool with it. If not I'll get out of your way." He waits and when it seems like she doesn't decide to turn away from him and bolt, he sighs in relief. Where do I even start though? Should've thought this through more. He brings a forepaw to his scrunched nose and exhales heavily. Stupid Stormy, that's the first thing we think about.
"I'll tell ya when I'm done, but if you got any questions for me in the end you can ask if you want," he begins. Once he's given a nod, that's when everything begins to spill out. "Pretty sure you wouldn't want me to talk about us and how I felt about you before I cheated and stuff, so I'll keep it brief. I did love you none of those moments were fake and even though I ran off with someone else I still loved you. Anyway, moving on. The reason why I left was because I wasn't ready to settle down. I could tell something was up or you were going to say stay with me and I couldn't uh, handle it. I didn't know you were pregnant or would've been, you know I just left without a word. Before I left, I met someone. She promised me that we would be together but we didn't have to be limited to each other. At the time it was a nice deal, so I took it and we were in a relationship. There were other's too, but she was the most important one from them. She gave me an out. I... I am a coward and I'm sure you realize that, so for me that was the best news in the world."
A lot had been omitted, but he didn't think she'd want to know. Considering she didn't want to see him and talking to him was also not desired. There was no need to add additional facts to confuse her or make it out to seem like he was a sob story begging to be forgiven. It was the one thing that he promised himself. He would tell her with absolute clarity what happened and he was sure he did. As much as he could without talking about his family life or the she-cat he cheated on her with. "Soooo, yeah. That's it?" Whether or not she wanted to ask more was up to her and he would tell her whatever she wanted to know. If she walked away from him, then that was fine too.
// @Mottledove.