CONFESSIONS // patchpaw


"LITTLE HELLIONS, KIDS FEELIN' REBELLIOUS"

//Prompt: Red, so much red.
@Patchpaw

What am I supposed to do?

The dog was in the camp and all around his home was painted in red. Cats, his peers, his family, were strewn all around like broken toys. Torn apart and adding to the carnage as the red continued to spread. The ground was thick with it as it continued to creep like a wave across the camp's floor, and beneath his paws with a chilling coldness that rooted him helplessly to the spot. He wanted to fight. He wanted to run. But no matter what he tried he simply could not move.

Breathe.
He couldn't! His chest was so tight as he was forced to watch the dog butcher yet another one of his fellow apprentices. Another clanmate failed because of his inability to act! Nothing he did was working and it felt as though every attempt to speak painted yet another thing with red. The sky above was stained with vermillion, and the moon shimmered like a cruel pool of blood. Red, so much red!

Something shot past him and much to his horror it was Patchpaw. She launched herself at the beast... The jaws came like a flash and the spray of red splashed against Wildpaw's frozen form. An anguished scream ripped forth from his lungs as he felt his entire world fall apart at the seams.

They're all dead because of YOU!

The calico tom sprang up in his nest with a hellish shriek of grief and terror, and he flailed his paws frantically as he tried to fend off the lingering images of his nightmare. Panic held him like a vice and choked every breath he tried to take until he feared that he would drown from it. With tears streaking his face he finally mustered the strength to move, and with frantic determination he barrelled his way out of the den past the slumbering bodies of his peers. Wildpaw tumbled out into the heart of the camp and he whisked his head to and fro in search of the dog that had plagued his nightmare. It wasn't there, and neither was the endless sea of red.

The tom collapsed down with a rasped wheeze as gradually the ability to breathe returned to him, but the tears kept flowing. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Patchpaw's corpse, and it frightened him more than anything in the world. A whimpered sob broke free from his aching throat as he laid there, bathed in silver moonlight in the heart of the camp where the worst battle of his life had taken place.
 
THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE

These kinds of nights were all too quiet for Patchpaw. She found herself, once more, entertaining herself with a ball of moss that she's been gently bouncing against the far wall of the apprentice's den with her nose, but as it rolled and slowly came to a stop just a mouse-length short of her good paw, she sighs softly and lays her chin down. While to most, she looked tired or even dozing off, her eyes were shot wide open, pupils like full moons of black surrounded by a thin edge of vibrant orange. Her claws lightly dug into the dirt, restless.
A part of her didn't want to fall asleep. She knew it would only make her more tired come the next morning, but even if she wanted to sleep would escape her grasp no matter how many different positions she took, though she wasn't entirely sure why.

An anguished caterwaul suddenly fills the den, and her head shoots up from the ground to see the momentary blur of a familiar cat's shadow dashing out of the apprentice's den. Much to her surprise, no other apprentice woke up--it was only her, but that wasn't what concerned her as she struggles to quickly get to her feet. Placing her second paw down gingerly, a dull, aching pain swoops through her leg, and Patchpaw hisses with annoyance.
Curse this stupid leg! Stupid, stupid bite! There could be something--a dog, a badger, anything--going on outside to explain the hair-raising scream, but this leg only continued to drag her back as she limps out after the apprentice. While she hadn't recognized them, she had an awful feeling she knew who it was.

Pushing out of the apprentice's den, anxiety claws at her chest as she desperately begs to nothing in particular that she does not come out to a horrific scene of dead bodies laid about, or of cats being ripped apart or another mournful vigil. Please, oh please, don't let another cat die... this is the last thing we need right now.
But the forest remained quiet and the dens remained still, free of panicked cats dashing about. The only sound that came was of the soft winds picking up high above their heads and the gentle carry of a choked sob reaching her from the crouched, lonely figure in the middle of the clearing.

"Wildpaw...?" The uttered name fell from her lips before she had begun to register who it was. He was alone, sitting where the dog once broke into camp and shaking like a leaf under the moonlight's silver gaze, practically reduced to nothing but a terrified ball of fur with a stump for a tail.
She knew that fear all too well.

With some effort, Patchpaw limps out into the clearing, stepping into the moonlight and up to his side. He didn't seem to be staring at anything in particular...
Carefully, she settles herself down in front of him, careful not to touch him as to not startle him. Her worried expression comes into view, as does the long-since healed scars that drag across her face and the bite mark still healing--a striking difference to the unknowing horrors flashing in his mind.

"Hey. Breathe, it's just me, nothing's gonna get you. I'm here, right here, Wildpaw."
 

"LITTLE HELLIONS, KIDS FEELIN' REBELLIOUS"

It was as if his head were underwater. Everything was hard to hear, muffled when it shouldn't have been. Someone was talking to him, someone was there, but his mind was sluggish to react and he couldn't even make out the individual words either. But something was familiar about the tone and he knew that he recognised it.

Patchpaw! It's Patchpaw!

The nightmare threatened to grip him all over again and he found himself focusing on her form with an expectation of seeing her ruined body bathed in the red. But that's not what he saw. What he saw was perhaps the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Scars that had become so familiar to him, eyes bright with worry for him, and the feel of her breath upon his whiskers. Alive... she was alive. There was no dog there now and the content of his nightmare hadn't come to pass. With luck it never would.

His jaw drew tight and his ears folded back with a tremble as he looked straight at her with an expression he had never shown before. It was hard to describe but it was intense like a wildfire. "Patchpaw... I... I... I dreamt that I lost you." He began as he fought to steady his voice against the tightening of his own throat. On uneasy paws he forced himself to sit up so he could at last face the she-cat on a more even level. "If anything happened to you-... I don't know what I'd do!"
 
THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE

While she previously only had an inkling to what overwhelmed Wildpaw in that moment, the horrors behind his eyes confirmed her suspicions, and she understood. Her worry softens into that of sympathy. She's spent far too many nights restless and unable to sleep, worried of another tragedy or more dogs coming to attack at night, and Wildpaw was the same, only instead plagued by nightmares. There was a kind of comfort in it Patchpaw found, though, knowing they shared the struggles. she takes another slow step forwards to press her cheek against his. A gentle purr rises up in her throat.
"I ain't going anywhere, not tonight--and I don't want to lose you either," She murmurs, shifting to sit close to him and pull him into a tight hug with her damaged leg bent gingerly over his other shoulder.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with nightmares. I--I sort of get what it's like, feeling like you're gonna lose everyone, especially your friends and family. But please, don't think you'll lose me that easily; I wouldn't let it happen without a fight," A weak joke in earnest, she knew, but it was true, and she'd do the same for him.

"Right now though, just--just try and focus on me." She pulls back to focus on him directly again. "It's just you and me."
 

"LITTLE HELLIONS, KIDS FEELIN' REBELLIOUS"

The closeness sent a warmth through his fear addled mind and started to steer him more strongly back in the direction towards some form of stability. Though the grim thoughts remained like a foreboding warning that anything could yet happen. There might not have been a dog there that night but that didn't dampen the number of potential dangers that existed in the world, each one primed and ready to steal Patchpaw away from him any second.

The young tom found himself leaning into the apprentice's embrace as he heeded her brave words. It felt good to be understood. Wildpaw mustered up a small smile when he heard her little joke, as weak as it was. It was still an attempt to brighten a dark night, something he appreciated and honestly liked about her. Though when she pulled away he found himself trying to chase the connection, that is until he met her gaze. The tom stilled and he found himself holding onto his breath.

It's just you and me.

"I... I want to be with you forever, Patchpaw." The words spilled forth freely, driven by a feeling that he did not yet fully understand. But it was intense and it overwhelmed his feeling of fear. Leaning forward he attempted to touch their foreheads together, closing his eyes as he did so. He longed to be close to her, he needed it more than anything else at that moment.
 
THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE

When Patchpaw harbored this strange, warm feeling for quite some time now, she hadn't expected it to turn out like this. Listening to Howlingstar speak of her mate with such fondness, and to her mentor spill out his almost overwhelmingly strong adoration for his mate Sunfreckle as though it didn't already emanate from his very being, had put some kind of expectation in her mind of how she could finally profess her love to Wildpaw. At least, some kind of romantic moonlit evening for the two of them to share, when she finally confesses it all... and yet, here she was now, stunned and rendered temporarily speechless.
I want to be with you forever, Patchpaw, his voice rings in her head, and all she could do was open and close her mouth like a dopey fish. Excitement threatens to burst from her paws, the sensation of warmth spreads through her from ears to tail-tip, and a new, yet familiar kind of nervousness fills her stomach like butterflies, and all she could do was gape!

Oh, she probably looked stupid.

With that, a bubbly laugh finally breaks free, and Patchpaw has to quickly cover her face with a paw to hide the embarrassment of her dumbfounded surprise. Though one could mistake it as a cruel response to something so sincere, especially from Wildpaw, there was no malicious underlining or any kind of sadistic mockery hidden behind it.
"Oh--gosh, I'm so sorry for laughing! You're just--oh, to StarClan with it! I want to be with you forever, too!" Patchpaw pushes her forehead up against his, an elated sparkle growing fast in her eyes. "You make me so happy, Wildpaw, I--I wanted to tell you for such a long time now--I just had no idea how to do it, though this is certainly one way of going about it," she remarks with a giggle.

"Of course I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you! I've been dreaming about it for so long... To be honest with you, that's why I was laughing," Patchpaw admits shyly, "because I imagined it in a lovely moonlit meadow, just the two of us with the whole night to share... Though, I suppose this is that night, isn't it?"

Her gaze softens with adoration as she looks up at him directly now, her head still pressed to his. "But spending a night with you is enough for me to make it any good night."
 

"LITTLE HELLIONS, KIDS FEELIN' REBELLIOUS"

The sound of a laugh threatened to undermine him at that moment as he feared that perhaps Patchpaw did not feel the same way about him. Was his emotions something to be mocked? The terror of it seized him in a fresh wave, but then she explained herself and eradicated the tidal wave of fear from his form. Relief followed like a swift wind, then the realisation that Patchpaw truly had felt the same about him. A nervous chuckle broke from him as he found himself swept up in her own giggling.

Though a tickle of embarrassment caught him as he came to learn that she had been waiting for a while, sitting on her feelings in silence until this very moment when everything bubbled to the surface for all to see. He just wished it could have been more romantic without him reliving the nightmare of the dog attack and being forced to imagine a world where she wasn't in it anymore. Though it had been the push he needed to make the leap to reveal the truth of what had been in his heart.

He loved her. He was in love with his best friend.

"I can't believe that you didn't speak up earlier. It doesn't matter now, we did it under the moon's gaze." Wildpaw stated as he kept his head pressed against her own. He let it continue for a while before pulling away so he could gaze at her in a new light. Then he cast his sight towards the stars above them. "Let StarClan be my witness as I confess my love for you, Patchpaw, and may they bless us for many moons to come."
 
THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE

As Wildpaw confessed his love for her, a wide smile broke out on her face, one warmer than any other one's ever seen on her. Her eyes filled with pure affection for him as she lifts her face up to the blanket of stars watching from above, the night sky shining in her little round pupils. "Let StarClan be our witness as I proclaim my love for you, Wildpaw," she echoes, "as I accept his love in return."

Patchpaw finally lowers her head back to face him, before another giggle bursts from her and she leaps up, bowling him over in a tight hug. "You have no clue how badly I've wanted to say that! Gosh, I've been wanting to for so long--I'm in love, oh, I'm in love!" She nuzzles her cheek against his, giggling profusely as her legs threaten to become entangled with his if she had successfully knocked him over completely.

"It feels like a dream, it really does... And if it is, I'd rather not wake up at all," She faces him directly once more, smiling from ear to ear. For such a strange set of circumstances, she couldn't have been happier with the way it was turning out now--in fact, she could hardly care at all now that the worst of her fears had finally passed. He loved her back, and that was all that mattered tonight. Speaking of the strange circumstances, however...
"And hey, you know... I-I get the nightmares too." She sits back, allowing him to get back up on his feet. "I get it, I really do. It's not fun, so often times I'm awake at night, as you can see. Would--" This was an awkward suggestion, but one she had been thinking about for some time now as she continues, "would it help more if we... shared a nest? Together? That way if one of us wakes up from another nightmare like this again, we'll have the other by our side. No more sleeping alone. How does that sound?"
//i apologize for the lengthy delay!! :(
 

"LITTLE HELLIONS, KIDS FEELIN' REBELLIOUS"

The tom was unprepared and he finds himself stumbling with a gasp of surprise when he is tackled into an embrace by Patchpaw. If it had been anyone else and he would have swung out with claws, but it's her and she could have anything she wanted in the world. He attempts to lick her cheek in sly retaliation. Gazing up at her he found himself in greater awe as she stood against the elegant backdrop of the stars above. It almost felt like a sign to him, as if StarClan was blessing them. "It better not be a dream, otherwise my imagination is really something."

When granted the freedom to move again he shifts to get back up again before shifting to sit closer to her in order to maintain closeness. "That sounds... that sounds ideal. I mean, surely we'd feel less scared and vulnerable if we were together through the night. Stronger together, right?" It sounded silly, but it also sounded right. They both had demons to face, ones that they struggled with alone, but maybe now it wouldn't be so hard. He didn't even care if the other apprentices mocked them for it, they could just choke on their jealousy. "We should return to the den now, see if sharing a nest brings us some peace in our slumber."
 
THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE

She giggles softly at the feeling of his tongue swiping against her cheek, finding delight in his fur pressed against hers. He was right on point, of course, with the reasoning behind sharing a nest, but there was something else now, too, that she could finally admit. They were in love, and Patchpaw couldn't have been happier--whatever previous worries she had prior to this no longer mattered to her. She could finally be with him forevermore.
"Come on, you goof--let's go back. I know of a couple feathers you could use for your nest, that might make it softer," Patchpaw offers up with a bright smile. Of course she had feathers for him--she had an entire feather collection! Who wouldn't want some of the softest and loveliest feathers around?

"I'm grateful that I finally told you how I felt," She glances over at him as they begin their trek back towards the apprentice's den, her tail curling quite neatly around his in appreciation. "Since, uh... I do have a few feathers I've been holding onto specifically for you... I-if that's not too awkward..." She admits shyly, glancing off with a little growing blush on her cheeks. "It's okay with me if you don't want them--! I just thought, you know, since we're sharing a nest, might as well make it comfortable for both of us, right?"