sensitive topics cup runneth over [🕊] birthing

[Needledrift]

CW: detailed descriptions of contractions and birth (she's fine though, she's just little and it hurts) // three kits on the way, no birthing complications but she will need a stick @STARLINGHEART @Magpiepaw // other cats are free to post but will have to clear out per the medicine cats' orders :)

She had not expected it to feel like this.

The first spasms had begun early in the morning, dull and annoying, before first-light. At first, they had been so small she had mistook them for the fluttering kicks of her unborn child. At first, she stood reluctantly and took a lap around the camp and for a moment she was pleased to note that the cold air actually nipped at the exposed skin of her ears.

Then the ripples began, a sort of soundless rumble in her belly that condensed into a sort of vice that made her eyes water each time it happened. A low whimper had started in her throat then, a sound that escalated over the course of the day into a pitiful wail, muffled only by the walls of the nursery. She had thought that laying down would have helped, but the ripples did not relent in any position. Her claws tore at her soft bedding (soft, stupid bedding, uncomfortable, uncomfortable, BAD!), shredded the moss and cat-tail fluff that was supposed to keep her little frame warm. She pushed away the feather from her son angrily (get it out get it out GET THEM OUT!), an unconscious movement to keep her present safe from her angry Claes.

"Get them out!" The little she-cat screamed close to sun-high, her jaw clicking painfully apart. If one were to look at the situation rationally, they would see that Needledrift's first kitten was very close to crowning, and so she would indeed get her wish without much help (cats so rarely needed assistance birthing their own kittens) but to Needledrift, who felt fit to burst at any moment, whose pregnancy had turned a sweet cat into an irritable, angry, discomforted woman, who was barely larger than the fat swamp rabbits found in green-leaf, the contractions and dilation and heat of her own body were just too much. She wanted Ferndance or Chilledstar or Smogmaw or Wheattail or somebody to sit beside her and calm her and -

"MAGPIEPAW!" Starlingheart was the more obvious choice, the more experienced of the two, the true medicine cat, but Needledrift was not thinking in terms of sense. Magpiepaw was the healer she had to trust on the journey, the little black and white prophet thrust into total responsibility who had somehow come out on the other side. In her adled state, of course it would be the apprentice she called on. speech is in #B9D0F5​

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[Starlingheart]

Starlingheart has delivered countless litters now. None of them were like Viridianskies. Like Halfshade. It's something that she has to remind herself every single time, that everything would be okay. Loosing a cat in the birthing process was something that could happen, but it was, luckily, rare. Needledrift would be okay. It's what she tells herself as a scream ripples through the air, as she grabs the ivy leaf wrapped around herbs that she keeps in the entrance of her medicine cat's den.

She calls for her apprentice, but she hopes that she doesn't mind when it is her that appears instead. "It's me Needledrift it's me" she speaks calmly as she sets her bundle down, as she takes out a stick and urges it closer to the she-cats mouth. "B-bite down on this" she instructs as she slips into auto pilot.

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[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

//retro to death/injury

they knew their friendship had been... uneasy to say the least. chilledstar wasn't even sure if they could still call it a friendship, but they still cared. they still thought about a simpler time when they hung out. needledrift speaking and chilledstar listening. needledrift had been there for a lot... the least they can do is be there for her, right? even when they believe she hates them. even when they're unsure how to act around her, having yet to apologize– though they desperately wanted to. they would. but for right now? right now they simply would be there.

they don't expect her to scream like that. she's very soft spoken, even in fits of anger. so it scares them when she does, and before they can protest, their paws carry her to them, stopping beside starlingheart and giving a brief and soft nudge to her in greeting, before looking over needledrift who looked like she was nothing short of in pain. oh, needledrift.

"hey, needs. it's gonna be okay. starlingheart is here. magpiepaw will be here soon. and... ferndance too."

i'm not going anywhere. goes unspoken. they can't admit that to her, right now. so, they simply would be here.
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[FERNDANCE]

Ferndance, are you awake?
"Hmm.... I am now."
"Needledrift is giving birth."
"That's nice..." Just as she was about to lull back to sleep, emerald eyes snapped open at the realisation of what her clanmate said to her. 'Oh... shit. Now?' Kittens never had a good track record of arriving at the opportune moment, it would be more surprising had the she-cat's kittens come just as scheduled. The cinnamon tabby pushed herself to her paws and skirted past the warrior who'd warned her, darting out into the clearing before she even had a chance to clean the crinkled leaves from her pelt. It was after that she heard it, the call for Magpiepaw, the call for a medic, and Ferndance rushed to the origins of the sound, shaking the sleep out of her eyes as she moved. Starlingheart was already there, as was Chilledstar, instinct drove her past the two and towards her mate's side, settling besides her in what free space could be found. 'She will be ok...' The comfort came easy to the mother - surrounded by the same walls her once pregnant mind had felt threatened by, Needledrift would be protected - all she needed to do was breathe.

"It's ok... I'm here. Keep going, you've got this."
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[ONYXPAW]

I WISH YOU COULD SEE THE WICKED TRUTH — A wail. A scream. It echoed out from the nursery, causing Onyxpaw to practically leap out of her pelt when it reached her ears - practically still soft with kitten fluff. She had known that Needledrift was pregnant, but she had never expected such agonizing noises from the queen. It sort of made the apprentice want to turn and run, but concern for her older clanmate won out in the end.

Quick steps brought her over to the nursery, head hunched low as she peeked inside with ears folded back - she looked unsure of what she was doing or what had brought her over. Though not knowing what had caught her attention seemed impossible, considering Needledrift's screech for Magepiepaw was still echoing in her mind. "Is... Magpiepaw? Did anyone grab him? Oh, I'm sure he heard..." Hopefully he wasn't out far enough that the scream hadn't reached him, though Onyxpaw couldn't recall seeing him head out on any sort of herb patrol. Starlingheart and Chilledstar also seemed certain that he would be along before too long, so she didn't immediately go scampering off to try and find him.

Her stomach was in knots as she looked between both Starlingheart and Chilledstar, the soft and comforting voice of Ferndance practically fading into the background as she reassured her mate. It was Starlingheart that the young apprentice focused on, not crossing over the entrance boundary of the nursery to try and keep Needledrift from feeling crowded. "Is there... is there anything I can do to help, Starlingheart? At all, or is it just waiting?" Onyxpaw knew that she was far from any sort of medicine cat or an apprentice along the lines of Magpiepaw, yet she was still desperate to offer her assistance in any way. Just anything that she could do to soothe the usually friendly warrior's agony.

CAUGHT UP IN A RUSH ✦ IT IS KILLING YOU

• 
  ✧ shorthaired tortoiseshell point and chocolate point chimera with blue eyes
  ✧ 5 moons old; ages the 1st every month
  ✧ bisexual; crushing on yellowpaw
  ✧ daughter of monarchroot and sleetjaw
  ✧ shadowclan born; silently loyal to her home
  ✧ difficult to befriend; shy to most except yellowpaw
  ✧ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✧ peaceful powerplay allowed

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[Needledrift]

Needledrift let out a hiss as Starlingheart appeared next to her, moreso at the spasms that wracked her body than at the medicine cat. No, no, the medicine cat brought supplies and hopefully, those supplies included a nice herb that would make her see StarClan so she could strangle Chittertongue in retaliation for leaving her before she got to this point. Tears welled up in her eyes then and a sob escaped her uneven maw as her first child entered the world.

The gray and white she-cat gulped down a breath of air, feeling as if her lungs were completely deflated in the position she was in. She looked to Starlingheart, hoping that she didn't seem too pathetic in the moment. "Our ki-its are kin." She managed after a second. "We're family now, thro-ough them. I'm so glad they'll have you as an aunt."

Distantly, she recognized that Ferndance had made an appearance but it was Chilledstar that her eyes clung to as another wave of contractions hit her. "You -" She gasped out before grasping the stick Starlingheart had brought tightly between her teeth. One, two, breathe in through the no-

Her second child came much faster than the first, so quickly that Needledrift had barely placed her teeth around the bough before her body pushed again. The stick cracked and splintered in the queen's mouth. She spat out the wood chips into the nest, a problem to be dealt with later. "You're here..." Needledrift began again, doing her best to sync her breathing against the monochrome leader's own. "You know, I na-a-amed Snowypaw a-after you. If anybody asked before, I'd say for Frostbite but re-a-ally," - a whimper escaped her - "really, fo-or you."

Her final kit slid out, easier than the first two, but with enough fanfare that it left the little queen exhausted. Her head lolled back into her nest, not even bothering to clear away the splintered parts of stick and torn-apart bits of mushrooms that were now trapped underneath her. Her entire body ached from the effort the birthing had taken and all she wanted to do was sleep..

She couldn't even muster the energy to lift her head to look at her children as they were placed at her belly, two with creamy-gray fur like Chittertongue and one blue like herself. "Names... they need names... we didn't pick any names..."

// anybody is free to name the kittens! gigglekit will be for chitter, morelkit (blue) will be for the mushrooms in the nest (or any justification wanted, picked oocly for her connection to smogmaw), and branchkit will be for the stick she broke while kitting (or any other justification, picked oocly for her connection to heavybranch) speech is in #B9D0F5​

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[FERNDANCE]

Watching the agony spread across her mate's face made Ferndance selfishly grateful that she had not been around to see the same from her. Cries were not comforting by the purrs that escaped from the cinnamon tabby, nor was Ferndance's heart, which beat so fast she swore it was about to fall out of her chest. It wasn't pleasant, but it was necessary - unless they could be regurgitated like food to a baby bird, kittens could only be birthed in one painful way. The only positive was that the experience was over quickly, she didn't know how much the sun had fled from the moon in the time they'd spent in the den, but when three appeared, Needledrift seemed to think that was enough. 'Three... our family of five has become a family of eight.' The number was daunting, chaotic, and the brief fear of so many little ones running about was overshadowed by the joy of having so many little ones running about. She licked each one to life after they arrived, instinct taking over when Needledrift was too exhausted to do it herself. Wherever Chittertongue was, she would make sure he knew his kittens were in good paws.

"Well done mama," she cooed quietly, ears twitching as Needledrift mentioned names. Oh. Chittertongue had been struck down too quickly, hadn't he? Too quickly for Needledrift to have spoken to him, to tell him about all the fantastic and wonderful ideas she had for their little ones. Suddenly, she felt silly for not asking sooner. Painkit. Tiredkit. Agony and exhaustion were the first two things Ferndance had seen after their birth, tradition dictated that would become their names, but... perhaps she'd misinterpreted her mother's words. She was named after the ferns she was born it, Cardinal (now Deacon) had been named after the first bird her mother had seen. Only one sibling had been named after another present, Beregost, whose end had spelled the division of the family unit she'd once cherished. She pointed her nose towards the materials that lay scattered beneath Needledrift, recognising mushrooms quickly, but the splinters of a fractured twig even more so. "Stick-kit," she murmured, her tail lashing. Too small, too broken, a synonym was in order, one that would bring forth the strength that the birthing stick lacked. "No... Branchkit," she corrected herself, gently hovering near Needledrift for approval. It was a likely preference to some of the tabby's suggestions.


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[Bonechill.]

*+:｡.｡ His mamma's scream was something Oni had hoped he'd never, ever have had to hear in his lifetime. The sound of it practically reverberated through his little body like an earthquake, powerful and world-shattering . In an instant, he was scrambling to his feet, with no semblance of exhaustion to slow him down he was at the nursery entrance, very nearly bowling right into Onyxpaw. Owlish mossy gaze trained upon his mother as she writhed in her nest, fighting the urge to hide behind closed lids - or tremblingly raised paws - as the sight before him shook him to the core. If he had known childbirth would cause his mamma so much agony, he would've begged her to not get pregnant - not that that would've stopped anyone but...Starclan above why would anyone want to get pregnant if this was the result?!

Helpless, he crouched beside Onyxpaw, eyes never leaving his mamma but ears shifting to catch whatever response Starlingheart would give to his companion's questions...though he feared he already knew the answer. Muscles tense and eyes brightening with moisture, he felt himself utterly trapped. It...hurt to listen to his mom scream, to watch her cry like this, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to take her pain away. Whenever Bonepaw had gotten a thorn stuck in his paw or tripped and smacked his nose into the earth, it had been Needledrift's gentle coos and soft kisses that cured Bonekit of all pain and sorrow...but he doubted he'd have the same effect on her in this moment of need.
In the very least, he wouldn't turn away.

But starclan, if he saw his mamma die tonight...Digging his claws into the earth, he risked a moment to blink back tears. She wouldn't.

But if she did?
He'd tear the whole of Starclan down to bring her back so help him...

One kit...

He barely noticed its birth as his mamma's agony was all he could focus on. She looked so tired...What Bonepaw wouldn't give to lend her his strength! But this woman - who so happily raised her four rambunctious firstborns - took the time through her agony to fill the atmosphere with love in the way only Needledrift could. Eyes stinging with tears, he listened to her welcome Starlingheart into their family, aching all the while knowing his step-aunt was here instead of his step-father. How his mamma had the strength to welcome anyone into the family while these new lives threatened to tear her apart was beyond him. He didn't know if he could muster it himself.

Two kits.

Bonepaw learned that Snowypaw was named after Chilledstar. An odd fact considering Chilledstar's...issues with Ferndance. He wondered distantly of the history there. But honestly? He didn't care. When the kitten came into the world, a slimy, weeping mess covered in his mother's blood, Bonepaw couldn't help but look at it as foul. It was an awful creature, this thing, for hurting his (their) mother. He hated it.

Three kits.

This time Bonepaw couldn't help himself as he aimed to rush forward, grabbing hold of his mother's head before she touched the splinters that covered her bedding. He quickly tried to clean away the shards of broken wood before he was inevitably kicked right back out, but he did his best to crouch small and tight so he didn't get in anyone's way, longing to stay for as long as he could by his mamma's side. Covering her face in licks, he fought a losing battle against his need to cry as a whimper for her to be ok stuck fast in his throat.

Three kits had done this to his precious mamma. How could he not hate them?

Branchkit.

Hearing the chosen name made the boy pause in his seething.
Blinking back his distress, he finally lifted his attention from his mamma's sallow face to his mom, who hovered over one of the...creamy-grey kits. There were two of them with that shared color. So similar to Chittertongue, it was another painful reminder that his mamma's second mate wasn't here to support her. But...damn it all, it was also kinda cute. None of his litter took after their parents in looks - Shadepaw was close with her greyish tone and Bonepaw with his cinnamon stripes, but they were far from being considered twins with Needledrift or Ferndance.
So...it was cute to know two twins were born with their missing dad's complexion. Two little pieces to keep Needledrift company and Chittertongue's presence alive. And one...one was now named Branchkit.

A little sibling named Branchkit...

Bonepaw turned his attention back to his mamma, resuming grooming her ears with a frenzied affection to help ease her distress in any way. Though he was ready to murder anything and anyone who hurt his moms and siblings, he could already feel the resentment he bore towards his new siblings fading away. A part of him wanted to cling to the anger, as if felt more powerful to hate someone for your helplessness than to sit quietly alone with it. But hearing his mamma plead for name ideas, and fighting the oddest urge to laugh at the silly name his Mom chose for Branchkit, he just...he couldn't do it.

He couldn't not be excited about being a big brother.

Bonepaw, big brother to Branchkit and...

"Morelkit" he offered, almost timidly, and not without a few sniffles. He wanted to follow his Mom's lead and name his sibling after the first thing he saw - and that would be the mushrooms that ley strewn about, as torn as Branchkit's namesake was splintered. A gruesome sight, one that reflected Bonepaw's inner turmoil, which could be remedied only by congratulating the new life with a new context. Morelkit, a little sibling born of strife but fated to grow rebelliously strong against the odds!
And who better to bestow this name to than the one little blue sibling, a twin to Needledrift. Bonepaw would look upon this child he'd momentarily hated and blink forth a sudden downpour of tears. How could he have ever looked at this little life with so much animosity when it held a piece of his - of their mother?

Reaching forward, he'd touch his nose to the new life's and under his sniffling breath he'd vow, " I'll do anything to keep you safe" and he felt it firmly in his spirit the truth of that promise. Bonepaw will keep Morelkit safe - and he'll keep Branchkit safe and...he looked tiredly at the last kitten -

And he'll keep this little life safe too...This last kitten named...

*+:｡.｡ Updated 12/15/23

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☠ Shadowclan — apprentice
  ☠ DMAB— He/Him — Unsure
  ☠ 4 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☠ Son to Ferndance x Needledrift
  ☠ Brother to Bloodpaw, Shadepaw, Snowypaw
  ☠ Apprenticed to Nightwhisper
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☠Physically easy | mentally hard
  ☠ Attack in bold #738171
  injuries: None currently

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[splashdance]

Snowypaw is no different than the other 'paws that've arrived - the shouting had startled her, yet the company captivated her. Needledrift grinds her misaligned teeth against a splintering branch and like Bonepaw, Snowypaw detests whatever this is. Labor, kitting - it looks gross (whatever bits she's allowed to see,) and sounds even worse. One kit, two kit - somewhere in there, she learns that she's named for the leader themself. Blue eyes tug away from her mother to glance at Chilledstar, and she affords them a look of confusion. She can ask Needledrift about it later.

A third and final kit arrives (she withholds questioning about a fourth, like her and her siblings,) and Bonepaw is quick to comfort their mother. Snowypaw just watches, owl eyes wide, as Ferndance names one kitten Branchkit and her brother names another Morelkit. One is left, and after several beats, the black and white apprentice reaches out a paw to press down her mother's feathered tail, taking a better look at the nameless soul.

"Hey, it kinda looks like..." Chittertongue's name goes unsaid. He was like any other father, a non-visitor to the nursery. Unfortunately he would never have the chance to correct that bit of normalcy. Snowypaw feels her chest clench, a stench of death crawling into her airways despite the new life before her. She swallows it and smiles, "I got it! How about Gigglekit, Mama? Like him - and I'll make sure that-that it gets to laugh so so much, Mama. I'm getting real good at telling jokes," unlike Ferndance and Bonepaw, she asks for permission, kneading her paws into Needledrift's tail.​