Curiosity ✧ Silversmoke

[Florabreeze]

Being introduced to a new environment meant that she had a lot of questions, especially since she hadn't even heard of Skyclan before meeting the patrol on the border. The majority of the ones that she currently had have been answered but one question that she can't seem to stop thinking about was one of the first ones she had asked when meeting the patrol. Flora assumed that Crowpaw was the child of Silversmoke, an easy assumption to clear up if she was mistaken but the lead warrior's answer didn't really give her an indication of if that was true or not.

The answer of ‘it's complicated’ was kindling for the fire of her curiosity, she couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. Perhaps it was the fact that it was a non answer, she was a cat who appreciated yes or no answers; dancing around a subject or being indirect never ended well with Flora. It always made her just push harder for something concrete, which could end badly in this case but she wasn't going to know unless she asked.

Flora bided her time, waiting for him to have a moment without his apprentice by his side. The moment that the opportunity had arrived she pounced on it immediately. She approached Silversmoke with no hesitance, acting like she had known him for a long time. “Silversmoke! I have a question for you if you have a moment” she purred as she approached, in her mind there was no doubt that he would hear her out. “It's a personal one, I think?” she tilted her head as she thought it through a little more, based on how he replied the last time she presumed it was personal.

“When I asked if Crowpaw was your kid you said that it's complicated, how so?” she lowered her voice, to the lowest that Flora could manage anyways. She took a step back, mostly to give him his own personal space but it was also so Flora could get a better look at him. It was a learning curve to try and predict how he may react but she was eager to guess, learning his body language was a great way to do so. It was hard to figure out if this was an okay subject to discuss or not, so having the distance might be good in case she needs to run away.
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@SILVERSMOKE ​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

The tabby did his best to be an honest cat. Living by an unbreakable code left too few room for nuance, but even before discovering the forest, he'd been known around his neighbourhood as a prickly and blunt creature. SkyClan had mellowed him but had not smoothed out all his sharp edges, so, when Flora bounced towards him, declaring that she had a question for him, the Lead Warrior's fur bristled in a wave. It's a personal one, I think? He blinked incredulously at her words: how close did she think they were? Ears swiveled back as Silversmoke grew stone-faced, ready to tell the maine coon to mind her own business. Then, she asked her 'personal' question, and narrowed eyes widened from surprise. He'd expected a question about his heritage or his scars, they were the usual go-tos for newcomers. Instead, what she offered was a disarming question, not as personal to him as she may have believed, but extremely personal to Crowpaw. He huffed, tail lashing behind him - even if it wasn't his story to tell, he figured it better to clear the air now, Crowpaw would be far less accommodating of the newcomer's nosiness.

"He's not my son, but he sees me as his dad. He doesn't know his father and his mother is... well, they don't get along." Bobbie had left to save the clans in his formative years, when any other SkyClanner could've replaced her, he didn't entirely disagree with the smoke's anger towards her: four moons was no age to train to die for one's clan. "He's an apprentice, he said that having a parental figure around would help him focus, so I fill the role. He was right to ask it of me, he's one of the best apprentices I've had, but..." Ears twitched and paws shuffled uncomfortably against the soft earth of the camp. "I think he thinks of me as his father more than I think of him as my son." Silversmoke couldn't deny the protectiveness he felt over his apprentice, couldn't deny he wanted to do right by him, but how much of that was paternal instinct and how much of that was duty to the clan was muddied in his head. His eyes never reached Flora's as he spoke, but they grew sharp as he finished reminiscing. "Hence, it's complicated... This is a conversation that stays between us, understood?"

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[Florabreeze]

Flora hummed in thought, she could sympathise with Crowpaw's situation. Not that she would ever tell the apprentice that. She had enough common-sense to know that a stranger coming up to you and openly discussing business that they should not know wouldn't go well.

She glanced at Silversmoke, trying to gather what she should say going forward. “It's good of you to fill that role, even if it's to help him focus.” her usual bubbly and loud tone shifted to something softer as she bowed her head to nod in response to the clarification that this would be kept between the two of them. She thought that it was ridiculous that he felt the need to state that, while she enjoyed gossip there were lines that even she wouldn't cross for it.

A slight frown showed on her maw as she considered the tabby's words “do you think you'll continue this dynamic that you have with him when he's not your apprentice anymore?” she ducked her head down, trying to get a read on his expression.

“I don't know either of you, I understand that, but I never knew my parents growing up, so from my perspective it would suck if my father figure stopped treating me the way I was used to just because I wasn't his apprentice anymore.” after saying her piece she shrugged, perhaps she was stepping too close to something she shouldn't? Flora did genuinely enjoy talking with him even if they had only spoken a couple of times. She would like the opportunity to continue talking in the future. It's probably for the best to let it drop. Her usual smile came back, trying to lighten the tone a little bit. “Like I said though, I'm not him so maybe it's different. I get that it's complicated, feelings usually are and I'm sure you'll figure it out in time.”

Familial ties was something that Flora felt strongly about so she couldn't help but add on a final thought that had been bouncing around in her brain. “So you do somewhat consider him a son then?”​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

Silversmoke reclined as if he'd just swallowed a wasp, tail lashing the moment that sincerity reached Flora's tone. His was a thankless job, he'd never been upset whenever he didn't get recognition, his job was to serve SkyClan, not serve his ego. The Lead Warrior's throat grew hoarse as he considered the other's perspective, ears as hot as the sun. "Yeah, well... thanks," he grumbled under his breath, gawking towards the elder's den until he'd gathered his flustered thoughts. When he looked back, Flora didn't seem as happy. Her question caused his brows to shoot upwards and head to lower somewhat as if trying to deduce the words as a threat. His limbs tensed, the first warning that the newcomer may have been prying too deeply until business that wasn't her own. "I don't know. Apprenticeship won't be the end of his training, he's-" Ears twitch and mouth swivels about, trying to find the right words for the maine coon, tone veering on the edge of uncomfortable. "He's got a lot of growing up to do. I do what I can but I'm a busy cat, there'll come a day where I'm given another apprentice, that'll be when it's challenging."

He missed out that it was a self-inflicted busyness, believing an outsider wouldn't understand why it was important for him to do as much as he could for the clan. 'A daylight warrior with a paw in two-worlds, I doubt you'll ever understand what it means to fully devote oneself to something.' Even to someone who'd been kind, the thought came too easy to the Lead Warrior. Pupils thinned and broadened within a blink. The tom had never considered what happened once an apprentice was no longer an apprentice, his dynamic with his former apprentice remained only because the chimera was utterly insufferable, but what happened to a positive relationship? Did it just fade away? He paused to give it some thought, claws knotting the grasses beneath as he considered what it meant for the apprentice who was convinced the rest of his family had abandoned him. Briefly, he forgot the other was there until she asked a question that shattered his stupor.

Silversmoke answered on instinct. "I don't know, I don't have kits, I don't know what having a son is supposed to feel like." He couldn't exactly ask his parents about it, unless they'd suddenly grown wings and flown back to the Twolegplace, they were long gone with whatever no-fur had accepted them. The maine coon mix straightened his posture, frowning. "What's got you so interested in this anyways? Shouldn't you be learning about something other than my social life? Do you even know where we sleep?" Despite his best attempts, his tone wasn't as prickly as he'd attempted to make it. Regardless, the warning still stood - he didn't want to talk about his feelings.
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[Florabreeze]

That frown grew as she listened to his reasoning that he deemed as a worthy explanation as to why he possibly wouldn’t be involved in his apprentices life in the way that they were both used to in the future. She personally didn’t agree with this outlook but she wouldn’t lie and say that she understood it, Skyclan culture was a very new concept to her and there may be a variable that she simply just doesn’t understand. “Of course, I don’t think it’s expected of you to be there all the time. Especially if you find yourself with another apprentice, I think just showing that you care will be enough, only if you want to. There’s no point in forcing yourself to do anything.” Silversmokes answers had given her pause, she moved her gaze to fixate on something else. Watching other skyclanners in the distance kept her attention enough, she debated if weighing in with her own insight would be welcomed. If one of them was uncomfortable in the conversation then it was only fair if she herself shared some uncomfortable trivia too. It was an act of good faith on her end, to try and prove that she wasn’t only trying to interrogate him.

“I’ve had a kit before, she was a daughter though, but I’m sure that it’s similar to having a son. If you wanted to, could you describe how you feel? I may be able to help you figure out if it’s paternal. It doesn’t have to be today but the offer is there.” Discussing her daughter brought an obvious damper to Flora’s usual upbeat mood, she shifted her weight to tuck her tail underneath her. While it was information that she gave willingly it was still not easy for her to discuss. She hadn’t known her daughter for long, and while she was happy with her life with her twolegs it was something that she would probably trade this life that she currently had for. Her focus broke as she heard Silversmoke’s voice, did she know where everyone slept? Flora closed her eyes, trying to recollect if she had, it wasn’t ringing any bells. The maine coon could already picture how he was going to react to that information, a loud bark of laughter escaped her at the thought. Trying to calm herself down only landed herself into a giggling fit, eventually she calmed herself down enough to speak. “I don’t know actually, I’m guessing you sleep in one of those structures” she moved her paw to point towards the elders den that the lead warrior was staring at earlier.

Why did she want to know about his personal life? The simple answer was that she wanted to get to know him better, it was a fair enough reason for her. It helped that she was generally nosy, if she had it her way she would know at least one fact about everyone in Skyclan. “I guess I just want to get to know you better, it makes sense to get along if we’re going to be potentially working together in the future!” That wasn’t the whole truth, Flora knew it. Hiding anything was a difficult task for her, a critical flaw for her was the fact that she was so honest. The guilt of not telling the whole truth was apparent on her face, she sighed as she quickly gave up trying to hide it as the guilt itself was eating her alive immediately. “Okay, I have a soft spot for families, I can’t help but pry. I thought you protecting Crowpaw was sweet when I saw you on the patrol, so I was curious about it and I guess I’m curious about you as well?” It was as simple as that really, while his answers had not been as satisfying as she hoped it to be, they had squashed a lot of her curiosity. ​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

The silence between answers was tense, only because Silversmoke had become lost in his thoughts again. He didn't know if a mentor and apprentice could be friends, or if the dynamic there was too one-sided, but if Crowpaw stopped seeing him as a father, then he supposed he wouldn't mind. "I want to." Though blunt, there was a quietness to his voice that suggested mourning - the tom almost cursed himself for feeling grief over a future that did not yet exist. The Lead Warrior's wandering gaze shifted upwards as Flora admitted she had children of her own, empathy stabbing at his heart like a knife. Memories took him back to the day he'd been separated from his mother, how he'd cried and cried until his meows turned to coughs, how he'd blamed the parent for never coming to find him. Briefly, he considered that they might not have known any better, and Flora's past tense only solidified it - if a Twoleg took a kitten away, it was practically dead. That was, if Silversmoke was right in his predictions. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head. "....Another time, perhaps."

Expressing so many feelings was becoming too much, for a moment, he was grateful for the respite that focusing on dens caused. The odd stare of the tom sharpened when a paw shot into the den his own eyes had once bore into. "Not that one," he corrected, and with his tail, pointed to a bramble bush close by. "That one." Amusement arrived and left his face quicker than a blink, ears twitching as they listened to Flora's excuse - 'I guess I just want to get to know you better.' His mind lingered on his co-workers, Greeneyes, Dogbite, Johnnyflame, Slate, Bobbie. He didn't think any of them had wanted to get to know him better, at the very least, they hadn't admitted it. Slate was a once-hated figure turned reluctant ally (not friend), Bobbie was a pest, Greeneyes and Dogbite were cordial but hardly friends, Johnnyflame was... something, he didn't like how often his thoughts went to the Daylight Warrior. A comfortable distance had also been kept with clanmates; he couldn't say he had friends in the clan, but there was a shallow comfort in that. Friendships made duty harder, more biased, and having seen the pain of loss, he preferred to be a spectator in someone's life rather than a changer of it.

He cast an irritated look, soft enough to suggest it was a setting of boundaries rather than something more serious. "Well... cut it out, I'm not interesting. I'm a Lead Warrior of SkyClan, my favourite food is pheasants, I like fighting: that's all you need to know." That's all he needed: to have a respectable rank, to have a favourite thing that wouldn't get him in trouble, to have a goal to constantly strive towards. Deeper feelings hurt and, with someone who he barely knew, they could be dangerous. Figuring the other might not get the message until he changed subjects himself, the Lead Warrior straightened his posture. "Before... when you mentioned having a daughter." A wide gaze searched for permission to talk about it. If it was attained, he'd mew, "Was it a Twoleg that took her? I...'ve known them to do that. It happened to... someone I know."

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[Florabreeze]

Flora tilted her head, angling herself so she could get a better look at the bramble bush that his tail pointed to. “Oh! What was I pointing at then?” She was close enough right? They were in the same general area but she wouldn't dare breathe a word of these thoughts in order to save her pride. She took mental note of the error that she made, hoping to be able to recall that in future if she was quizzed about it. While the molly knew that one day she would understand something as simple as the different dens that she looked at Silversmoke with wonder. He was probably born and raised here so it must be second nature for him to know that.

“Why pheasants?” was her immediate reply, not thinking twice about it. She recalls the look he gave though, she had been given it a few times in the past so she was able to pick up on the subtext about it. “Fine, I won't pry, but I think you're selling yourself short.” Flora sighed, a little too loud, trying to make it sound more exaggerated so Silversmoke knew she wasn't actually upset with him telling her to cut it out.

She wondered why it was such a big deal to find someone interesting. A lot of things were interesting to Flora, a lot of cats were too, usually there wasn't any issue with her asking questions. Though she does get carried away with it, she could admit that least. Maybe it's because she didn't like mysteries, everything had an answer and everyone had a story to tell, who was she if not simply curious to hear those stories? She chuckled to herself, trying to imagine the answer to her question of why pheasants. No doubt it was something obvious but she liked to embellish those details a little bit. Her daydreaming of pheasants was cut short by the lead warrior.

‘Before… when you mentioned having a daughter.’

Ah. There it was. She had kept an ear out for any follow up about her mentioning her daughter but it still caused her heart to leap into her throat momentarily. She glanced over at Silversmoke, taking on a more guarded expression than usual “Yeah, I had- I have a daughter.” She looked at him expectantly but nodded in an attempt to give him consent to continue.

On the rare occasion that she brought up her daughter she was usually asked if her daughter died, being asked if twolegs had taken her took her by surprise. She smiled again, this one didn't meet her eyes like the others. “They did. My twolegs let other ones into their nest and they took her... She's 10 moons by now.” The molly felt her throat get a little dry talking about it, she tried to brush it off with a laugh but it felt a little hollow.

“I'm sorry that happened to someone you know, it happened to me too when I was kit so I get it. It's rough, I hope they're doing better these days.”

This was much too sombre for Floras taste, her paws kept themselves busy by turning over a stray pebble on the ground over and over again. “My two legs introduced me to my sibling though, so it's not all bad.” She cleared her throat and pushed the pebble away from her, looking back to what she now knows to be the warriors den for a change of scenery. Bringing up her sibling was more for Flora's peace of mind rather than for the conversation itself. She was mostly trying to justify it for herself, things were balanced right? The bad had to be balanced by the good otherwise things were just… bad. It made sense to her at least, she liked her twolegs so she would hate to think of them as bad since there was good mixed in there too.

She shook her head, as if physically doing something was going to help her stop thinking about it. Looking from the warriors den back to the lead warrior she forced a grin back on her maw. “Do you think next time you have a pheasant, I could try some? I want to see what all the fuss is about!” ​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

"The elder's den," he replied dryly. It was one of the quietest dens in SkyClan, save for all the snoring. The clans weren't old enough to see many residents yet, but, there also weren't many cats who lived to such an age: the tom was certain he'd be one such early death. Perhaps it was youth speaking, but he didn't see himself retiring, only dying in combat when his bones finally gave up. As morbid as it was, it was a greater comfort to him than being taken by a disease. Blinking incredulously for a moment at her question, Silversmoke rolled his shoulders. Why pheasants? "I don't know, I just like them." Did he need a reason other than that? The exaggerated sigh caused him to roll his eyes. "I'm really not. Our medicine cat is a quack that hasn't had a coherent thought in his life, we have one Lead Warrior who hunts snakes for sport and another who might as well be nocturnal. These are interesting cats, I'm just a warrior trying to balance out how ridiculous my home can be at times," Someone had to play devil's advocate, with how humourless he could be, it just made sense to fit into that role.

Despite that, the spotted tabby liked to think the stolen kit was doing much better. He was a Lead Warrior of SkyClan, had an apprentice who was about to graduate, and a wealth of experience that made him feel as important to the clan as they were to him. A life partner would make things complete, not necessarily a mate, just someone closer than a friend whom he could spend his time with. He'd been happy with Auburnflame for a time, but they'd grown apart and, selfishly, he wished for the same again. "They're doing much better. They have a home away from the Twolegs who hurt them and find purpose in protecting their clan. In the end, it all worked out." In the conversation's gap, the Lead Warrior noticed Flora's attention wasn't all there. Feeling the mood grow sourer, Silversmoke's tail began to lash in discomfort. When Flora looked to the warrior's den instead of him, he realised he may have pushed too far in moving the conversation away from himself. Large ears fell flat against his skull as Silversmoke's head tilted away from Flora in guilt. "I'm sorry, it was rude of me to bring it up." It'd been purely defensive by him, but also impulsive... hurtful even. He jumped at the opportunity to change the subject, even if the awkwardness hadn't completely vanished.

He let out a huff, somewhat amused. "You'll have to find one first, there aren't many around here." Rarely, he had hunted them on the outskirts of the woodland, where the earth had threatened to spill into another group's home. But, in all his moons of killing birds big and small, he could only ever recount predating three. "I've heard they prefer WindClan's territory, there's something about the shrubs that attract them... a hiding place, perhaps? Our territory just doesn't have the same cover..." He looked to the trees, notably absent in the moorlands, and stammered. "...In a manner of speaking." Silversmoke cleared his throat, finding the words were wooden as he tried to utter them. His answer was perhaps too serious for the lighthearted conversation Flora tried to make, but even as he saw what she was doing, he was reminded that his code came first. "But as for whether you can try it... no promises. You've got owners who will give you food, the cats here don't have that luxury, even denying them the smallest bit might mean that someone goes hungry."

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[Florabreeze]

Flora had to admit that he was right, the cats he mentioned did sound pretty interesting. “Well yeah, they all sound really interesting! Buuut I think there can be something interesting in something as mundane as keeping balance in your home” she grinned “Surely there's at least one interesting story about that!” She had gathered that he was stubborn about insisting that he was not interesting. It was very unfortunate for him to have this conversation with Flora, who was stubborn about pretty much everything.

It was nice to hear that the cat Silversmoke knew was doing well. She had presumed that the Lead Warrior was talking about himself, based on how he was talking about them finding a purpose protecting their clan. It seemed like something he would attribute to himself from on her limited understanding of him. This helped place things into perspective though, it would make sense to be such a rules guy if he viewed this as his purpose. Flora wondered if she'd be like that one day, stubbornly insisting she's not interesting and treating Skyclan with such deep reverence and a devotion so fierce. She didn't think that would be the case, there would be respect for sure, the Daylight Warrior was confident this would become a second home to her. That inherently brought a sense of devotion to it, she just didn't think that she could be as dedicated about it, happy to do the requirements and only going beyond if asked instead of volunteering. Who knows though, she never even thought that she would ever be doing something like this in the first place so the future could wind up differently than she expected. “I'm glad they found a home away from those Twolegs, I'm sure the clan is lucky to have them.” If she was wrong in her assumptions then that would be fine with her, no matter who this cat was she was happy for them to be finding their peace.

The apology drew her attention back to the tom. She narrowed her eyes in confusion, looking at Silversmoke like he was a puzzle that she couldn’t quite understand. Why did he seem so upset about this? Maybe she shouldn't have been so honest about it but at the same time she would never lie about her experiences. A large flaw was her lack of ability to keep a secret, even her own, talking about Magnolia was a sore spot for her but she wouldn't dare hide it. Flora wore her emotions and her life clear as day on her paws, she didn't see the need to not. Still, she didn't mean to cause any distress over this, maybe she should have been more considerate.

“Not at all, why would it be rude? I've been non-stop asking you questions! You should get to ask some yourself, I'm pretty open about anything.” she tried to be her usual teasing self, it was a little difficult right now. “If anything I'm sorry, I don't usually talk about her, so despite” she waves her paw, trying to think of the word “how… sombre I am, I do appreciate you asking about it. Now you have a fact about me huh?”

Her instincts told her to lighten the mood for both of them. She loathed being upset, there was so much more in her life that she could be celebrating instead. The pheasant discussion served to fulfil a purpose, one of distraction so neither one of them could dwell for too long. “Hmmm, I see, is it the rarity that makes them your favourite food?” She didn't mind the serious answer, it would have been more of a concern if he had tried to be light hearted with it. At this point she had adjusted herself to her usual posture, letting herself relax and not be so guarded. He didn't explicitly say no to getting to try one, so she was pretty happy with that. “That's fair! Is that part of the Code or is it more of an unspoken rule?” She still didn't really have a grasp on all aspects of the Warrior Code yet, too many of them were thrown at her at once and she's only been able to maintain a hold on one or two of them. “Do you think if I'm super annoying about it I could get them to give me a pheasant instead of my usual food?” She would test the theory when she returned home that night, despite her best efforts her owners never seemed to understand her but maybe she just hasn't been persistent enough.​