camp Dead Ending (trying to leave camp) Ending Dead

[Shinebug]

Eight moons old.

He’d turned eight moons old a few days ago. Shinepaw remembered his mother padding into the medicine den, congratulating him on the milestone. Sky-blue eyes were fuzzy when they beheld her, but the shaft of sunlight didn’t know if it was from tears or the sickness. Eight moons old, halfway through his apprenticeship, and the boy still believed he had nothing to show for it. Every day he wasn’t out there helping was another day he was falling behind, disappointing peers and betters alike.

Each day in that damned nest was either spent looking at a dwindling prey pile or imagining a better future; a future where Shinepaw was strong enough to shrug off the miasma surrounding him and help all of Thunderclan. It was a future filled with praise and friends and full bellies, and it was a future the anxiety-ridden extrovert believed to be more and more out of reach with each passing moment.

There was only one way to secure the peace which Shinepaw so desperately desired; and that was to wrench reality back in his favor. Of course, even the extent of Shinepaw’s anxious self-delusions weren’t strong enough to convince the cat he was right as rain and in good health, but they were more than adequate in persuading the aspiring apprentice that this was the only course of action open to him, healed or not.

There was no brilliant escape attempt at the dead of night either. Even in perfect mental condition, the cat was too blunt for such sly tactics. Instead, it would all be replaced with grit and misguided determination in the middle of the day. The boy waited for a moment when Berryheart was otherwise occupied before standing and half-walking, half-stumbling into the center of camp and towards its entrance.

tired sky-blue eyes took note of the prey pile as he passed, trying to decide what he should catch. “I’ll be back in a bit…” the boy mumbled with a wheeze to any cats he encountered, as if explaining would make the situation more acceptable. “I wanna…I wanna catch a squirrel…For my mom. It was my birthday a bit ago, and she deserves a gift…from me.” ​

 

[freckleflame]

freckleflame remembers her days of wanderlust and ( daydreamed ) rule breaking very well — possibly because it’s only her second name with her brand new moniker. she still does not know what to do with it, her newfound freedom ; she still glances over her shoulder with a paw past the thistle entrance. she has some sort of authority now, over the younger members of the clan. minute, little things. respect, she’s earned, regardless of the distinct lack of respectability she felt. so when seaglass eyes glance upward from the freshkill pile, sparse now with a lack of healthy warriors to attend their hunts and all - too common collapses outside of campfire, and spots shinepaw.. well, admittedly, she glances briefly to either side for someone to stop him.

but oh.. that was her job now.

the cream - ribboned tortoiseshell swings her head towards him as he passes, furrows her brow at the excuse, the brief, fleeting mutter of anxiety falling from the apprentices maw. i’ll be back in a bit, he says, and freckleflame clicks her tongue. her fathers had done the same to her ; a semi - chirp, sharp and attention - drawing. done a bad thing, it has always meant — if she hadnt stopped whatever she was doing, a holler was surely to come next. thankfully, she tried not to give her dad’s hearts out disciplining her, ” nah, it don’t work like that, bud. you’re still a ‘paw, birthday or not. “ the bulky shecat moves to catch up with him, strides into heavy limbs, a sway to bright - dark fur and low belly pouch, ” howlingstar’d have your head hangin’ from the great sycamore if she seen ya — if berryheart didn’t get to it first. “ dramatic, possibly, on the aging tabby’s part.. but berryheart. the medicine cat was unassuming, to the bare eye. freckleflame knew better than to test that unnerving patience, certainly not while sick and infectious.

she suppresses a shudder at the thought, stretches her maw downwards in a brief, playful grimace towards the apprentice — and starclan, maybe he wouldn’t argue with her, tired as he was in the eyes when bleary blue looks up. a squirrel, for his mother.. why didn’t she do that for sunfreckle, for rabbitnose? she brought back prey for the clan, even more so now that queens, elders and young’uns got to eat first. her bright eyes dim sympathetically, head lowering to attempt eye level with the boy, ” we can getcha a squirrel when you’re all better, shine.. cus to be honest, ya looked like you barely made it this far. “ wheezing, coughing.. she keeps as much distance as she can without fearing yellowcough spatter. what a time to be a warrior.

˗ˏˋ ⠀ SPEAKING ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ⋆ ☀︎ ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ⋆ AESTHETIC ⠀ ˎˊ˗

• i.
  
• FRECKLEFLAME ——————— of thunderclan ⠀ 𓍊𓋼 ⠀ . ׁ
  𖦹 . LESBIAN. SINGLE, CRUSHES EASILY. SMELLS LIKE SUN - WARMED OAK. ELEVEN MOONS. 8 / 3 / 2023 NAMED A WARRIOR. MENTORED BY WOLFWIND, PENNED BY ANTLERS.
  
  
  f. she / her, daughter of sunfreckle and rabbitnose. large, cream patched tortoiseshell she - cat with pale green eyes. fire - forged, smoldering ; shades of vibrant russet, dousing swathes of shadow and interwoven with ribbons pale cream come to drape like licks of flame over a well - toned form. in warriorhood she has grown to full, hulking height ; unspecified maine coon heritage born of sunfreckle's kittypet background shows itself in large, round paws and tufted, long - furred toes set upon thick, tabby - splotched limbs. freckleflame is broad shouldered and square - jawed, wild cheek fur like the blazing edges of a red sun — a hulking, thick - furred thunderclan warrior, forever blaze - kissed. a characteristic lack of personal space leads her to a slouching, touchy posture, often inclined to lean or bump against her peers, all while beating a lazy, heavy - eyed grin.
  
  
• 
  
  
  

​

 

[Flycatcher]

Flycatcher had been sat nearby when he heard the chatter between Freckleflame and another cat. His ear flicks and he turns to look to see who she was talking to absent-mindedly, surprised to see none other than his sick apprentice outside. A frown crosses his features, for once genuinely annoyed at his apprentice disobeying instructions and attempting to sneak outside. He gives an apologetic look to the cat closest to him, a smile and a hurried promise to catch up another day, before dashing over to the two younger cats.

He acknowledges Freckleflame with a small smile before his eyes bore into his apprentice. "Shinepaw," He says coolly, his expression somewhat suspicious of his apprentice's motives. "Funny seeing you outside of the medicine den? Care to explain yourself before I escort you back."​

 

[Sycamoreroot]

and i love vermont,⤬—————————————————————————————
The older tom had been working as hard as he could, going on solo hunting trips as often as he could, retrieving bedding for all the bed-ridden cats in the clan, and avoiding those same cats as best he could. He wasn't scared of getting sick per say, he was more scared of becoming another burden to the clan, he had worked hard to not be that since before it was called Thunderclan. He simply didn't need to be another burden. Especially since he was already struggling with hunting in general. It certainly wasn't his specialty.

He was pondering all this as he started his way towards the exit of the camp, about to go on another fifty-fifty hunting attempt, then he heard the rambles of a half delirious Shinepaw. What was he doing out of the medicine den? He was filled with anger at the young tom's thoughtlessness, he was supposed to stay in the medicine den for a reason. He had no reason getting the healthy cats sick with his denseness. Sycamoreroot halted his lumbering body just in front the exit for camp, acting as a gate of sorts, glaring at the fluffy apprentice. Though as the boy rambled about needing to feed his mother and how he was a moon older Sycamore's heart ached a little. He understood. The glare softened, almost imperceivably, to one of concern rather than scorn. A small sigh escaped the hulking tom as he lifted his head up higher, "Pity him." his prayer was barely a mumble, but he figured that's all Starclan needed.
but it's the season of the sticks⤬———————————————⤬penned by WriteAboutRadish
​

 

[Shinebug]

The only indication of Shinepaw acknowledging Freckleflame’s sudden blockade was a slight spark of annoyance within sky-blue eyes, along with a sudden struggle to stay standing. It took the runt a long moment to regain his balance, sickness burning through him still considerate enough to allow his fur to burn white-hot with embarrassment. “But It’s an emergency” the apprentice protested with a whine against the older she-cat’s enforcement of the rules. The prey pile was low and healthy warriors were having to work overtime, why couldn’t she see that this was a solution?

Freckleflame’s next words cut deeper than she intended, wounding the warrior-aspirant with distorted visions of the present. Did Howlingstar and Berryheart really hate him that much? Did they see the shaft of sunlight as so much of a burden that they’d rather him stay in camp? There were a few seconds where Shinepaw looked like he was going to cry before the joke registered, mind slowed from a mix of miasma and anxiety, and the apprentice’s expression was wrenched back into something resembling neutrality.

A tingle of guilt ran through the runt as he refocused on the conversation, noticing Freckleflame’s distance. “I don’t want to get anyone else sick,” Shinepaw starts, nodding at the space between them and ignoring the words that reminded him of his current state. “So just let me go and I’ll be far away in the forest. I’ll come back with a bunch of prey, and! I’ll come back at night and slip into the medicine den, so I don’t infect anyone.”

The apprentice was under the false impression that Freckleflame’s objection to his plan was in execution, not objective. He’d hoped someone else would show up to explain what he could not, but the monkey’s paw curled as Flycatcher’s voice sounded beside him.

Sky-blue eyes, which had been (albeit unsteadily) set forwards now shot straight to the dirt. Shinepaw knew there was no arguing here. Flycatcher had been the one to ruin his hunting trip by dragging the shaft of sunlight back to camp when he’d started showing symptoms, after all. As much as he disagreed, his mentor’s mind was set. For a fleeting second, though, the flame-drenched fool considered another option. “I’m actually feeling much better today, and I wanted to go on a walk.”

The words sounded in Shinepaw’s head as he played with the idea, but the tingle of guilt that had hit him with Freckleflame suddenly became an avalanche. Disregarding the fact that there was absolutely no way Flycatcher would believe him, lying to one of the cats he respected most in the world didn’t feel right at all. “I was going to hunt” He mumbled the truth with a sigh, still looking at the ground. Shinepaw didn’t want to meet his mentor’s gaze, sure the eyes opposite his own would be filled with justified fury. Did Flycatcher know he was trying to help, or did he just see his student as someone who kept getting in the way?

Part of him wanted to ask that question, but the rest was too scared of the answer. “I’m sorry…” he mumbled instead, already resigned to going back to the medicine den. “If I was strong like you guys, I wouldn’t be sick. But I’m weak, and that’s my fault. I…” The warrior-aspirant didn’t know where he was going with this, so the small, apologetic speech simply trailed off as sky-blue eyes finally noticed Sycamoreroot stationed in front of the exit, acting as another barrier.

Shinepaw had never attacked another clanmate in anger, even as a rowdy kit. But if his ears were attuned enough to hear the old warrior’s prayer, there would have been an attempt. The last thing he wanted was pity, from the living or the dead. Pity was for kits stumbling on their first steps or elders at the end of their lives, not for warriors. Of course, Shinepaw didn’t know the truth. He was weak, too weak to find the strength to accept pity, and too weak to accept that he needed help.​

 

[tansyshine]

Exhaustion drags at her pelt these days, its not an unnatural feeling. Once produced by a full nest now has her fleeing from little ghosts, wails of kittens she had once. Today she had decided to get out of the nursery by laying in the sunshine just outside, her eyes dull as she waits for Shardkit to wake up. She'd go back inside when he does, she just... needed to feel the sun on her fur again, to remind her that good days will come again.

Theres commotion and her head raises to stare. Shinepaw was surrounded by Sycamoreroot, Flycatcher and Freckleflame... Shinepaw was... sick, wasn't he? She hauls herself to her paws. She remembers when he, Shinekit back then, had played the game with her and Whitelion, where did the time go? And who- what, how did the thought that he was weak get instilled in his head? She makes her way over with a stumbling gait, her legs stiff. She doesn't walk much now that Coalkit is gone, he was always dragging her along somewhere. She resists the urge to cry.

"Shinepaw, little one... Who told you that you were weak?" she does not mean to overstep so she draws awkwardly to a close near Freckleflame, finding comfort in the girl. "You're not weak and you're not a burden. You're very strong..." a frown laces her lips, turning them downwards. If he was not sick she would have rasped a tongue over his head, drawn him close like she had before, but she fears of losing another kitten and that fear drives her to take a step back. She cannot lose Shardkit, she is sure she will lose herself if he gets sick. "And even strong cats need their rest to get better, okay?" her words dip in to softer, more sympathetic territory. She remembers being like him once, way back then, when she had still resided in swampy territory.

She takes another step back to let anyone else speak, to escort Shinepaw back, to do anything. Nervousness churns her stomach.

✿✿✿ info

• 
  -> tansy ,, tansyshine
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 34 months
  -> permaqueen of thunderclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy cinnamon solid with low white and ice blue eyes
  -> “speech, a789cf” ,, thoughts
  -> bisexual ,, padding after lily pad ,, mother to many
  -> smells like wildflowers
  -> image by @wrendoings [ disc ]
  

​

 

[WOLFWIND]

I'll be back in a bit, someone calls. Wolfwind doesn't pay it much mind at first, preoccupied with whatever else she had to do for the day; the sick to care for; Leafbare loomin' round the corner. She thinks few cats ever went through Newleaf going, " It's practically Greenleaf already! " but the second the cold season is on the horizon, she's worryin' about the worst of it. At least they had Sunningrocks this time round' without needing to scrap with Cicadastar for em.

It's not until she does a double take, that she realizes the one to be back in a bit is A: an apprentice, and B: sick as all hell. She rises to her paws, blinking in sudden alarm. Freckleflame and Flycatcher had already caught him in the act, Sycamoreroot mumbles somethin' low by the camp's entrance. It was his birthday, so his mom deserves a gift... Ain't that a bit backwards?

Howlingstar’d have your head hangin’ from the great sycamore if she seen ya — if berryheart didn’t get to it first. Wolfwind would promptly give Freckleflame a knock it off bump of the shoulder with a snort to match. The guy looked like Sootstar had just burst into his camp and personally shredded everything he loved. " Sheesh, someone's propaganda got burned into your head. Don't listen to this mouse - brain. " Freckleflame could probably guess who, if she thought hard about it.

Wolfwind's gaze would soften though, as the apprentice continues on in a murmur, I don’t want to get anyone else sick. " We don't want anythin' bad to happen to ya' while we're not looking! "

She watches as a number of emotions cross the apprentices face – and she understands. She understands so much more than she would like to. Lucky as she is to still be healthy and able, she still feels like she isn't doing enough. She does the little piece she can by getting her paws dirty, and keeping a smile on her face. Though it wavers, she doesn't let it drop into a frown. " Listen to Tansyshine, " she tells him. And she could see why this was a cat that her mother cared for. She blinks at her with a new sort of look. " Would you call anyone who's been in Berryheart's den with you weak? Would you call Berryheart weak? " She hopes not; assumes not. " Afford yourself the same kindness, Shinepaw. Rest. The sooner you do, the sooner you can come back swingin'. " And he would, by the light of StarClan.

OOC ✨ 9.5.2023 BET MY MONEY ON A STUPID HORSE, I LOST THAT

•  

• 

• [ SO I RAN OUT TO THE TRACK TO GET MY CASH BACK ] WOLFWIND THUNDERCLAN LEAD WARRIOR! LITTERMATE 2 LAKEMOON; KIN TO MANY.
  —— SHE / HER, CONFUSED BY BUT NOT OPPOSED TO THE USE OF OTHERS
  —— CURRENTLY 22 MOONS OLD. AGES EVERY 1ST.
  
  FRIEND TO MANY! UPBEAT AND UPFRONT. MOVES THROUGH LIFE WITH AN UPBEAT EXTERIOR AND BRIGHT EYES. MAKE NO MISTAKE! TAKES HER JOB VERY SERIOUSLY. THERE'S IMPORTANCE IN SAFETY, RECKLESSNESS ONLY GETS YOU SO FAR. ONCE A FOOL, BUT NO LONGER

​

 

[Flycatcher]

He was going to hunt. That was Shinepaw's reasoning for leaving the safety of the medicine den and attempting to sneak out. Flycatcher sighed, at a loss at what to say or do for the moment. He is stirred for from his stupor by his apprentice apologising for being weak and not being strong enough. "Did one of the apprentices say something like that to you?" Flycatcher asked, a serious note to his voice. He could handle a little bit of teasing between the apprentices but he could not stand senseless bullying.

After a moment, Flycatcher eases his stance a little. "Shinepaw I know staying in the medicine den isn't the best experience given what is going on but it is the best place for you right now," Flycatcher mews, his eyes gazing at his apprentice. "Focus on getting better for me... please. Sit, rest, regain your strength. You are still young Shinepaw. You have many years to grow and learn. To not compare yourself now to the warrior I want and know you can become."​

 

[Shinebug]

Tansyshine was always associated with childhood in Shinepaw's mind. The prickly nests of the nursery, the sound of queens gossiping away, Tansy's fur. It all melded together in that ball of memories to make those particular impressions of youth that would be carried for the rest of his days. That was why a small glimmer of hope flashed in sky-blue eyes at her approach. He was still going back to Berryheart, but maybe she would be able to soften the blow. The queen knew him better than most, so-

"Who told you that you were weak?"

Ah, he'd forgotten. Tansyshine didn't really know him, only the front he put up to make others happy. The game with Whitelion, which the queen looked back on with pleasant nostalgia, had been picked over time and time again during sleepless nights by Shinepaw. An anxious mind scrutinized and cringed at every social faux-pas made in the past, never minding that it was remembered by no one else, all in an effort to belittle its host. No one told him to do this, it was just how he was.

Of course, he would never admit that. That would mean saying there was something wrong with him, and the boy didn't want to unduly burden his clanmates' brains with that information when their lives would be easier living in ignorance. That was why Shinepaw would ignore the question, instead trying to poke holes in her praise, unable to accept a compliment he didn’t believe. “I could be stronger, though” he wheezed, “And I don’t want to rest if there’s still work to do.”

There was a little weight lifted from flame-drenched shoulders as Wolfwind stepped forwards and confirmed that Freckleflame was indeed joking, but a sigh of relief quickly turned towards slight annoyance as her concern joined the choir of the others. It was the way she phrased it. Was he still some kit that needed looking after? Was Flycatcher nothing more than an exaggerated babysitter? Once again, anxiety irrationally misconstrued words to sharpen their impact.

As if responding to his delusions, Wolfwind attempted to shred his own argument, unaware it would fall on deaf ears. “Of course not!” The apprentice objected to the accusation. “Everyone in the medicine den is super tough. I’d be lucky to get half as strong as them, Berryheart included!” Wolfwind had laid his hypocrisy bare, but perhaps was under the false belief that this was a problem that could be solved with reasoning. “But…that’s different.” Shinepaw would mumble the retort, unable to articulate irrationality.

The voice of his mentor came again, along with the same question Tansyshine had asked. The queen was soft-hearted and might’ve been able to accept Shinepaw’s silence, but the boy knew Thunderclan’s deputy wouldn’t be satisfied without an answer. “They told me not to say” the shaft of sunlight would finally mutter to both him and Tansyshine, not wanting to admit the truth but also unable to pin the blame on one of his peers. Sky-blue eyes still couldn’t meet Flycatcher’s own, but he would plead nonetheless. “But I can handle it, okay? Just don’t worry about it, please.”

Flycatcher’s encouragement brought relief, but not in the way the deputy intended. Professing belief in his apprentice, for the moment it overwhelmed anxiety and made Shinepaw sure that there was at least one cat in thunderclan who wasn’t sick of him. He still didn’t like the idea of returning to the medicine den, but with Flycatcher so certain about the future, maybe it would turn out okay?

An apology to the group came by way of the boy bowing his head, still swaying on his feet. “I’m sorry for making you all worry, and I promise I’ll make it up to you once I’m better. Until then, please bear with me.” It wasn’t some soppy, sobbing thank you for their concern. It was overly formal, and something the shaft of sunlight would likely cringe at later. But, for the moment, it was the best the boy could do.​