sensitive topics Dear, God, I Don't Believe | Intro + Sneaking Back In

N

.NETTLEPAW.

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Nettlepaw_icon.png
Pain seemed to follow Shadowclan's shape as heavy as their own shadows did, from the very beginning as Shadowclan was formed to Briar's traumatic death to the fire and finally, with claws sunk in deeply to the bellies of the masses, the entirety of leaf-bare, so the jaded look many of Shadowclan's youth held upon their eyes perhaps isn't surprising, but one particular youth seemed hellbent on never making the hard times any easier. Afterall, Nettlepaw was orphaned, his father taken before he knew him by some decree of the stars and his mother... cursed to die... nine times over, over, over, and over again, what true point was it in following what those fools decreed? And so, Nettlepaw found no point in following his brother's commands, had no desire to bend to the will of cats that died for something he'd never ask for his worst enemy to go through, and the young tri-colored tom typically just... left camp. He'd never go too far, the fear of the Thunderpath, of its devastating will and the ability to cause such pain, always keeping him close enough to home to not be found as another scarlet stain his family would have to bury, another abandonment. And, of course, he'd get in trouble, but he never cared. His brother was a puppet for those stupid star-speckled monsters above now, having already lost a few lives that they so graciously bestowed upon him after ripping their mother from them all, like some sort of sick, twisted joke, so his expeditions never were truly stopped. No punishment phased him, for the youth hated going to the gatherings to walk upon the hallowed ground where his mother and father were buried, and it wasn't like he could do much apprentice training given the clan's current situation, so nothing stopped him from leaving. And leave he did.

This adventure was one he'd taken at perhaps a strange time. He'd left just as the sun was dipping through the pine trees, making an excuse he had to make dirt, but as he trudged toward camp, pelt covered in mud and green eyes slowly losing the light they had just moments ago to look spitefully at the looming entrance like a narrow, sneering eye glaring back at him, the moon stood high upon the sky. If he was lucky, most everyone would be asleep and he could just walk through past the half-starved guard while they half-heartedly kept an eye out and crash into his nest to once more repeat the cycle of just not being in camp. As he slipped through, feeling thorns catch on his raggedy, scruffy pelt of black, browns, and chocolates, he put his ears back, half expecting the easy slip through he yearned for and expecting the possible tail chewing he'd receive for having disappeared again.

"speech here"





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    8 Moons | Angsty | Anti-Authority | full biography

    General Information
    - NETTLEPAW, Transmasc (He/Him)
    - 8 moons, ages with littermates
    - Apprentice of Shadowclan, clanborn
    - extra info

    Appearance
    Small spiky-haired, chocolate-tabby-and-black chimera with low-white and stark green eyes , reference by me(angelkisses) | 100% physical health, 76% mental health
    - smells like mud, wet-animal, filth, and just plainly gross
    - injuries, if applicable

    Mentality & Interactions
    - INFP, Chaotic Good
    - values family, equity, mercy, and respect
    - finds it sort of hard to trust others but mostly because he's focused on his family and ensuring they are protected
    - fears the thunderpath; has a resting bitch face
    - will start fights / may flee / likely to show mercy
    - skilled in stamina based skills | very weak in strength-based skills
    - attack in underline

    Relations
    BRIARSTAR xx AMBER | mate to [who] | crushing on [who]
    Littermate to Starlingheart, Lilacpaw, Marrowpaw, Twilightpaw, Ravenpaw, Dustpaw | Younger sibiling to Pitchstar, Lichentail, Adderjaw, Hollyfrost
    children, if applicable

 

Nettlepaw was not the only one who was in pain. Not that long ago Beetlepaw had lost his older brother to starvation. Waspsting. For as long he could remember it had always been Waspsting who had taken care of him not having many memories of his own mother who had died not long after Beetlepaw had stopped nursing. Waspsting had been a loyal and hardworking warrior many had looked up to, especially his younger brother. To him Waspsting had been the coolest warrior in the clan who always put everyone else around them first, and the two had always been together. But then starvation had hit the clan and...Waspsting had worked hard to feed as many clanmates as possible even giving away his own food. Unfortunately that had been his brothers fall, selfleshness had been his brothers end to care more about others than himself and left behind was Beetlepaw who not had to deal with this grief all on his own. Waspsting had been the only one he could relay on, who cared about him and now when was all alone in a place that felt unforeign to him.

Sometimes he wished he could just run away from it all, to escape into the unkown but where would he go?. The truth was he was too much of a coward to leave never having been the most bravest of souls. It was better to stay here and slowly just waste away. Even running to disappear into the night like Nettlepaw constantly did was too much what his own confidence could handle. Beetlepaw hated to get scolded and yelled at, it made him want to crawl back into his own skin. So he didn't dare break rules but he felt jealous of those who dared, like Nettlepaw.

He had not been sleeping when the older apprentice returned back to camp that early morning. Beetlepaw had been seating by the apprentice dens entrance to watch the quiet life around the camp, to enjoy the silence before life would start to awake around camp. That was how he spotted the chimera tom arriving back as they tried to make themselves back soundlessly without anyone to notice. Beetlepaw was not a rat so wouldn't tell anyone about their night adventures but neither would he approach them either. Nettlepaw was quite...intimating and he found them to be very scary. The last thing he wanted was to get on the bad side from cats like Nettlepaw who could chew his ear off. Better to stay away and keep his gaze low and maybe just maybe if he was lucky enough....they wouldn't even acknowledge his existence.



 
HUMBLE MY BONES WITH A CARDIAC
siltpaw | 09 months | female | she/her | physically medium | mentally easy | attack in bold color
death has followed siltpaw her entire life - a familiar friend. A father lost not long after her conception, a brother taken far to soon - and now, a mentor. She, like many a cat at the time, had been just lengths away when Briarstar had been hit - memories of the dark and dank tunnels still haunting her to this day. Where granitepaw had taken to fighting the world with all he had, Siltpaw had simply let the waves of crushing despair and grief wash over her, numbing her already empty heart. She'd never been like the others - never felt things quite so potently unless it was fear. She'd always been the tagalong to them - the shadow; the outcast. Hiding away from her problems and letting others make her decisions for her. And hadn't it been a surprise when her hiding spot at the back of the den had been invaded not long after their return to the still standing camp - by Nettlekit of all cats. Nettlepaw now she supposes, but back then it hadn't mattered.

They'd just been to grieving children with no idea how to deal with their feelings. Perhaps they still are. She wonders, absently, as she watches her 'friend; - though perhaps thats a strong word for it, she's never really said the term aloud after all - sneak into the camp, dull green eyes wide-open with restlessness, if that's perhaps how her brother and starlingheart had struck up their.. whatever the hell they are. friendship? Acquaintanceship? Crush? Starclan only knows, the strange pairing the topic of many a conversation after all.

She pays little to no mind to beetlepaw, content to mind her own business where the boy is concerned, instead letting her head and her gaze trail along with the returning toms movements until finally deciding to get up - stick-figure frame moving slowly, tiredly, gaze not quite affixed to the tom's, falling just short. "... you look a mess," she says simply, words quiet and monotone, but for the faintest spark of genuine concern coloring her voice. Perhaps it is selfish of her, perhaps it is wrong, but she worries for her... friends in a way that she doesn't feel for the rest of shadowclan. They're hers after all - she doesn't want to loose them.

 
DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

there wasn't that much that happened in shadowclan that chilledgaze didn't end up learning about. no, they weren't nosey. they didn't actually go picking through others' business but part of their job as deputy was to help the clan, and pitchstar, in any way they could. some saw this as a way to kiss their ass, but chilledgaze was way to stoic to even care about that. they just wanted their clan safe. nettlepaw wasn't an exception. they watched as he tried to sneak back into camp, lazily drawing their tongue over their arm, before standing and making their way over.

he doesn't need to leave camp without a warrior. it really is foolish to do so.

their ears twitched back and forth and back again, before they cleared their throat.

"i don't see a warrior with you. is there a reason for that?"

 
Nettlepaw_icon.png
Seemed he would get off scot free, green eyes glancing around momentarily before they landed upon Siltpaw and, distantly, Beetlepaw, gaze hovering on the jealous look the other gave him, contemplating, before looking to Siltpaw. Despite her relationship to Granitepaw, Siltpaw was a cat Nettlepaw was unapologetically close to. They both had shared their time of grief, Nettlepaw sitting with her as he dealt with the loss of his mother and she dealing with a... multitude of losses, and still, despite her more reserved nature, Nettlepaw held onto her like a tick stubbornly in her pelt. Her eyes didn't meet his but he still hummed, giving an amused chuckle at her statement before looking at himself. His already spiky pelt clung for once to his body in some parts due to mud sticking to him and his paws were absolutely coated in a hardening thick layer of sediment. "Found a few grubs in some mud... decided to have some fun," He mused quietly, "But I should really... clean my pelt before anyone sees-"

As he was about to complete the statement, a voice cleared itself behind him and Nettlepaw's splotched ears flicked back in annoyance. Of course, he would never be so lucky as to get away with things. Momentarily looking surprised, Nettlepaw paused, muddy tail flicking as his heart caught and he began to try and think of an excuse, Chilledgaze's voice filling the quiet camp air. Fuck. A muscle on his shoulder twitched, tail giving an annoyed lash, before slowly he turned his head to look over his shoulder at the black and white cat behind him, a look of defensive wariness painting upon his multi-toned features. "Yeah. I'm not going to tell you, though," He responded simply, shrugging.

"speech here"





  • text here


  • Nettlepaw_icon.png

    8 Moons | Angsty | Anti-Authority | full biography

    General Information
    - NETTLEPAW, Transmasc (He/Him)
    - 8 moons, ages with littermates
    - Apprentice of Shadowclan, clanborn
    - extra info

    Appearance
    Small spiky-haired, chocolate-tabby-and-black chimera with low-white and stark green eyes , reference by me(angelkisses) | 100% physical health, 76% mental health
    - smells like mud, wet-animal, filth, and just plainly gross
    - injuries, if applicable

    Mentality & Interactions
    - INFP, Chaotic Good
    - values family, equity, mercy, and respect
    - finds it sort of hard to trust others but mostly because he's focused on his family and ensuring they are protected
    - fears the thunderpath; has a resting bitch face
    - will start fights / may flee / likely to show mercy
    - skilled in stamina based skills | very weak in strength-based skills
    - attack in underline

    Relations
    BRIARSTAR xx AMBER | mate to [who] | crushing on [who]
    Littermate to Starlingheart, Lilacpaw, Marrowpaw, Twilightpaw, Ravenpaw, Dustpaw | Younger sibiling to Pitchstar, Lichentail, Adderjaw, Hollyfrost
    children, if applicable

 
DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

chilledgaze raised their brow for a moment before a snort came from the deputy. nettlepaw always had a little bit of a mouth on him, and seemed to despise authority. chilledgaze didn't care. they weren't always going to be liked, they knew that. their only job was to keep others safe, and if they didn't want to listen to chilledgaze, then they could leave. with a small twitch of their nose, ear flicking back with a bit of agitation, they slinked closer to the apprentice.

"honestly, i could not care less on why you were out of camp. i truly don't give a fuck. the only rule is that you go with someone so your dumbass doesn't get yourself killed. but if you wanna go out like that, then so be it. and don't tell me from starclan that i didn't tell you so."

they rolled their eyes before moving to sit down again, cleaning their pelt, with a stoic look upon their face. tch. they hated apprentices.